Comments on: Friends say Silda Spitzer is ‘nice woman who doesn’t deserve this’

By: FF

FF — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:43:19 +0000

Some of these comments - seriously, what is this crap? How is she responsible for his behaviour? What is she, his keeper now?

When will people learn that how good-looking, or good in bed a woman is makes absolutely NO impact on whether a man cheats on your or not. It’s about how secure or insecure the man feels.

He decided to cheat. It’s not up to her or the other woman to somehow stop his behaviour. He’s an adult. HE should be stopping it (provided he wants to). If he’s considered able enough to be given a job as governor then I’d say he’s able enough to be responsible for his own actions.

Men cheat because they think they’re missing out on something if they don’t, society condones it and tells them it’s what ‘men’ do, they then feel more like ‘men’ doing it. But seriously if you need to do all this stuff to feel like a ‘man’ - and still feel insecure - then maybe the definition of what makes a ‘man’ the problem.

But please, don’t try to convince me that somehow his wife should somehow be controlling his behaviour through the power of great sex. Gimme a break. And stop kidding yourselves.

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By: Amy

Amy — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:55:06 +0000

Ick. I hate it when a case of adultery prompts people to say “But the wife wasn’t even ugly…” or “She must have been boring in bed…”

Such misogyny. Only a dirty pig cheats on a spouse and an even worse one spends hard-earned cash (That could have been spent on his children’s college) on whores.

On the other hand, I am extremely jaded when it comes to *political* couples. I mean, are any of them really sleeping in the same beds or are they cold WASPy types who schedule public appearances together?

The mind boggles.

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By: whattheheck

whattheheck — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:05:40 +0000

I can’t say I was surprised to find out Spitzer was a bit freaky - but since most wedding vows include “for better, for worse”, I give them credit for at least trying to work it out.

And yes, I heard Dr. Laura — people love to hate her, probably because she dishes out a lot of common sense that reminds folks of the mother/grandmother. The Spitzer’s were both high-powered professionals, with children. Can you imagine how over-scheduled these people were? This is how couples drift apart - by the time they are in their bedroom there is no energy for each other.

OTOH - I did read the report and have to say ol’ Eliot spent an awful lot of effort arranging his date…I had to wonder, when was the last time he made that much effort for his wife? Or does he just tell his assistant to order roses for their anniversary?

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By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 03:48:45 +0000

The poor woman is still probably in shock and just going through the motions as she stands next to her husband. No doubt later when the grief wears off and the anger sets in….she will get even.

You can have the perfect personality, perfect body, perfect moves in the sack, etc…. but if you are with a dog there is NOTHING you can do to stop him from cheating on you. Period.

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By: Randi

Randi — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:06:05 +0000

She’s in a terrible “damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation”. If she stands by him she’s a doormat but if she leaves she’s disloyal. I hope she does the short term “Stand by your man” and turfs his ass in the end. Think of the humiliation he has exposed her and their daughters to, not to mention the diseases.

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By: mollination

mollination — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:48:12 +0000

I don’t mean to PERSONALLY insult anyone Msat, I’m just talking about studies that have been done on this subject matter-of-factly. Perhaps some of us HAVE been cheated on, we just see it a little differently. I’ll admit I am speaking from the less human/emotional aspect of it, and if I were friends with Silda I wouldn’t say this to her while she grieved. But about cheating in general I will talk about it scientifically and not emotionally. Sorry if I insulted you, because I didn’t intend to.

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By: MSat

MSat — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:21:02 +0000

I think it’s deplorable to blame this woman for her husband’s actions. I will refrain from verbally bitchslapping anyone who perpetuates this opinion, because it’s not really worth the word count. All I can say is: sooner or later, you will be cheated on too- and someone will pose that same question to you, and you will be equally insulted by it.

If Mrs. Spitzer is to blame for anything, it’s for marrying a guy who obviously doesn’t respect his wife or his family. But I’ll give her a pass on that, because I’m sure she’s beating herself up for that as we speak.

I do wonder what kind of message her girls are taking away from all this, and how her choice to stay with a man who has publicly humiliated their family will bear out later when the girls are older and having relationships with men.

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By: Phil McCracken

Phil McCracken — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:46:22 +0000

What power did Silda have? Well, she was the wife of the GOVERNOR, with all the perks it entails. This same dynamic is true with military families…a wife of a major is going to boss around the wife of a lieutenant, and have more status and privilege.

All I’m saying is it’s likely she knew what Scumbag Eliot was up to, but knows that a divorce means the end of all the wonderful perks she’s had for the last 10 years.

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By: MizLiz

MizLiz — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:44:37 +0000

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Men do NOT change, they just clean up their act a little and try not to get caught again.

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By: mollination

mollination — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:43:39 +0000

The thing is, NONE of us can decide what’s appropriate because none of us know the full story. Just as Kait just said above, maybe she knew all along? Maybe she has her own little 80k vices as well? Maybe she likes being in high society and wouldn’t know what to do without her hubby (however, after this I’m pretty sure their rank has gone down significantly).

I know nobody wants to hear this, but a lot of time women DO play a role in their man cheating. Hell, even DR.LAURA just said this crap on the Today show. A lot of it is biology. Men and women both have to have their needs met. When someone cheats, subconciously or conciously a lot of things are wrong in the relationship.

This isn’t just my opinion! So before anyone goes on saying “Well you don’t HAVE to act on them,” let me just tell you it’s a different story when your in the position and you have those chemicals coursing through your body.

This guy could be a different story. He could have a sick fetish. So could she though? We just don’t know. If she really didn’t know about this, I’m sorry for her embarrasment and possible heartbreak.

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