'10
Honestly, seeing photos of Victoria Beckham looking bright orange is nothing new. She often is some unfortunate shade of orange, although she was trying to tone it down the last few months in an attempt to get that Vogue cover, which never happens. Or maybe she just realized the “bright orange, fake-boobed bobblehead” look isn’t as popular in America. Who knows? Anyway, Posh went back to spray tan for last night’s hostessing duties. The event was something for LG phones, etc. Posh was cohosting with Eva Longoria – who was also bright orange. Now, as much as think Eva is a boring poseur, she usually doesn’t have this kind of tragic, orange appearance on red carpets. I wonder if she went with Posh for a spray tans and some girl talk? Oh, and Eva’s dress sucks too.
Speaking of things that suck, Jessica Simpson and Ashlee Simpson were at the event.
Call me crazy, but I think Jess is attempting to wear a Victoria Beckham dress. I guess she doesn’t know that Posh only makes clothes for size zeros. She should have figured it out when she was packing herself into this dress like a stuffed sausage, though. And look at how the top half of her dress is blocked – it’s like her boobs are stuffed into a frame and mounted on wall (probably not the strangest place her boobs have been mounted). I don’t get it, Jess. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what kinds of styles would look good on her body, yet she constantly wears sh-t. Oh, Ashlee looks emaciated too. Whatever.
Photos from the LG event in LA on May 24, 2010. Credit: WENN.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Eva Longoria, Fashion, Jessica Simpson, Victoria Beckham
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50 Responses to “Victoria Beckham & Eva Longoria are orange, Jessica Simpson is a sausage”
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Eva Longoria looks just like Kim Kardashian in that last pic. They must use the same makeup artist. Dark forehead and visible white powder around the eyes.
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I know, Jillian, it’s so weird. She looks like that moment in Stargate (movie) where Ra realises he’s going to die and the alien white light starts burning out from his eyes.
http://www.explore-science-fiction-movies.com/images/ancient-aliens-stargate.jpg
Actually, that’s kind of awesome.
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Love Eva’s raccoon eye make-up surrounded by the sparkly white powder. *sarcasm*
Blend, people, blend.
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I was thinking the exact same thing as Jillian as I was scrolling through the pictures. They have to have the same makeup artists! The orange skin and the white around the eyes look awful.
With Ashlee being so emaciated, her super pointy chin is very prominent. She also looks like she has aged about 10 years.
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Eva my sweets
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At this point I am absolutely convinced that Jessica Simpson is dressing this ridiculously ON PURPOSE to garner attention and publicity!
That can be the only reason why she wears these hideous clothes which are so totally wrong for her body.
Since her singing/acting careers are non existent and her TV show was panned; the only way she remains in the public eye is for what she wears (ugly shit inappropriate for her body-type) and what she says (dumb shit).
I guess she figures there is no such thing as bad publicity.
You know things have changed when Ashlee is the hotter of the two Simpson sisters. Love her outfit.
I think Posh looks great here; love the dress and the way her hair is styled.
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js has a case of the ‘mariahs’ on this one…AND!
vicki becks is so horrified by simpleton’s sacriledge of squeezing her sausage into her dress…you can NO LONGER VIEW IT on her website!
hahahaha.
try it…
http://www.victoriabeckham.com/dresses/ss10/
its s/s 10 collection # 35 ‘banded mini’…when you click on the photo it doesn’t enlarge like the others.
perhaps, js should keep her ‘udders’ out of stick-thin model clothes. lol
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Wow, Eva looks like a circus clown….how sad! Her “people” need to be FIRED! How could they let her go out like that! And Jessica? Poor Poor Jessica, good grief who are these women hiring for assistants these days? Elmo?
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Wow everyone wants to focus on Jessica’s weight, she looks ten times better than her sister! Ashlee’s looking bad! And old. l’d take Jessica over that haggard looking stringbean anyday.
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the comments on here are killing me!! haha
i actually like eva’s dress, but i like quirky things…
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no one posted about Jess’s weight they posted she chooses clothes wrong for her body, read much??
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everyone’s looking pretty fug in these pics.
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goddam, eva, easy on the makeup and the 40 sets of false eyelashes. why do these idiots do nude colored makeup, but 7,000 layers of it? the “natural look” this does not create. oh, and now i am yoda.
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I think you are being too harsh. The other day you said Kirsten Dunst was too pale, now these women are too fake-tan! “Jessica’s too chubby”, “Ashlee’s too skinny”… You’re like the Goldilocks of lady critiquing.
I think we all buy too readily into the woman-bashing, product-selling notion that there is always something women should be fixing about their appearance, and preferably spending money to do it.
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Check out the body language between Eva L. and Victoria B. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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i don’t think JS looks really all that bad. yes the dress isn’t very flattering but VB is not good designer. maybe JS just wore the dress as a flattery move? you can tell her body is nice though. she’s no stick like her sister but she’s got a really good shape and if that dress didn’t have the apron and black details then she’d probably look great.
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Ally, are you talking to me? I never said Kirsten Dunst was too pale.
http://www.celebitchy.com/102350/kirsten_dunst_looks_so_much_better_in_beach_photos_than_on_red_carpets/
And I don’t give a shit if Jessica gains weight, but I find it funny that her style is so insane that she doesn’t know what looks good on her body.
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Do these people not realize how this stuff looks on flash cameras?! It’s one thing to look shiny, or corpsey, but to look like this is unacceptable: http://www.cincinnatiwriters.org/images/mime.jpg Eep!
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Eva looks like she fell asleep in a tanning bed with big goggles on. LOL!
Jessica once again wears the most unflattering outfit she can find.
Ashlee does look very skinny and much older.
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lol @ andrea! ~ “goddam, eva, easy on the makeup and the 40 sets of false eyelashes. why do these idiots do nude colored makeup, but 7,000 layers of it? the “natural look” this does not create. oh, and now i am yoda.”
Took the words from me you did. Blame it on that stupid mineral makeup fad. Also, going bald, Poshie is. Those extensions she insisted on for so many years the fault lies in, bet I.
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I feel like Eva looks like a totally different person in every photo she takes. Seriously, I look at lots of her pics for my job and I swear there are actually like 10 versions of this woman running around.
Personally I think Jessica Simpson (and Ashlee, for that matter) looks better with some meat on her bones, but that girl does not know how to dress. I think it’s part her dad’s weird influence, part Southern style (which is fine on its own but when it goes through the Simpson distillery something apparently goes horribly wrong), and part her weight fluctuating so much that maybe she doesn’t remember which outfits fit/flatter her at which dress size?
Honestly idk but those weird darts on the dress give her a quadra-boob that is no bueno.
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Ashlee does look emaciated, not a good look. Jessica looks terrible in that dress, not because she’s fat, but it clearly does not fit her. Who ever said “she has a case of the Mariahs,” was totally right. Perfectly put.
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I just think Ashlee looks so skinny cuz she’s standing next to Jessica. And Jessicals weight is fine, its that dress that is horrible on her. Her boobs look gross. She refuses to accept that she’s gained weight.
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gg – i don’t like the mineral makeup either!
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“A case of the Mariahs” is right. That dress would look fine on her if she wore it in her size. Jennifer Hudson wore a very similar dress (from the Victoria Beckham collection) just in different colors and she looked fabulous. Why? Because it FIT.
I agree with everyone else about Eva Longoria’s make-up. What is with the white mineral halo around the eyes? Please don’t try to make that a “thing” ladies, I don’t want to look like I tried Halloween Zombie make-up and failed miserably. Maybe they are trying to look like Morticia from the Addam’s Family: http://www.kamarox.com/morticiafrump.JPG
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I have to say even though Jessica has put on some weight her face looks WAYYYYY better than Eva, Posh or Ashlees because it looks fuller and she doesnt look emaciated (not a good look on anyone).
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I really hope Jessica Simpson’s show does well… it’s a great concept especially since it incorporated other cultures. I also feel as though she’s becoming her own woman. She looks like she has settled into her natural weight, she isn’t trying to be platinum blonde, wearing tons of make up and seems to be acting less stupid. Basically, she’s not selling out and I hope she does well…
as for the rest of the women on this page… YUCK!
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The dress doesnt fit her bust is all. I dont think she looks stuffed into in anywhere except the chest area & withher chest most clothes must be really snug on top.
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What has Eva done except a d list tv show? She shows up for the opening of an envelope it seems =(
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lilias – good point about jennifer hudson. jess has a great figure, im surprised she doesn’t know what to do with it yet. that gaunt look in the face and also the orange makes peeps look older. also, i am of the opinion that the celebs need to take a break with the turbo-platform shoes and also the wavy superlong extensions. yeesh.
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I agree with the other commentors – don’t blame Beckham just because Simpson won’t wear her dress in the right size. Hudson looked great in a Beckham dress the other day.
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I have to also say…I think Jess has a very nice figure….but the dress is awful on her.
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If Ashlee and Jessica had just switched outfits, they would have both looked better!
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There is just too much wrong with all of these fools to write out. What a day when Victoria B looks the best out of four random women at some random event.
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No need to break out the sailor talk!
When I wrote “you” I meant Celebitchy. Re: Jessica Simpson, clearly the implication is that the dress would suit her if she was thinner, followed by a comment on Ashlee’s weight.
Anyway, I enjoy the -bitchy part of your site for sure, but this seemed a very Goldilocks-y series of posts on the site. Don’t bite my head off. But you’re right, Simpson is style-clueless.
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before i saw eva in desperate housewives, having just seen pictures of her i was like “SERIOUSLY? people find THAT attractive?” all you see when you look at her is white, reverse-panda circles around her eyes. If you need that much concealer, at LEAST make it match your skin color! when i saw Desperate Housewives and they have makeup artists make her up properly i thought she was stunning! but looks like on her own, she cant do makeup at all :/ its a shame- it would be nice to be able to see her pretty face rather than just seeing white concealer.
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@ fizXgirl314 you’re so right!
I actually think this dress looks good on her, maybe just a little tight in the chest area
.
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Posh actually looks like she gained some weight, she looks healthier to me.
Eva’s dress would look 100% better with shoes that weren’t so fussy. It’s way too much with the dress and shoes together…her face is very beautiful despite the crazy white clown makeup.
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Jessica looks out of place and unhappy.
Eva looks just like Kim Kartrashian her bestie, make-up is horrid.
Posh looks the best, wow, that is a change, she normally looks so rigid and stick like but not so bad here, must be the ensure shakes
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ashlee is just awful – all that surgery and her face looks like a foot.
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Stand up STRAIGHT Posh, Jesus. Yes, we see your legs just fine.
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“(probably not the strangest place her boobs have been mounted).”
______
Dammit, kaiser, you owe me a new keyboard. This one just took a bath in diet pepsi.
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ashlee’s chin– WTH!
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Whats with the white makeup under the eyes. Nicole Kidman has same prob. Am I missing a new style or what. I cant do it. It looks weird to me. Maybe I am a hic. I’m going to have to take myself to the barn and do what you do to a horse when its sick if its true. (wouldnt really shoot a horse just in case somebody wants to go off on me)
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“Or maybe she just realized the “bright orange, fake-boobed bobblehead” look isn’t as popular in America.”
Um, I’m pretty sure that look was INVENTED in the USA
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I like Eva’s dress TBH, I reckon it must be all that camera flashed that ironically reveals the concealer!
I do love Jessica, she is a girl you just cant keep down, so kudos for trying, but have you noticed on her pic above that if you look at the top of her arms (where her bingo should be) do you notice they are differnt thicknesses? is this photoshop gone wrong a la SATC??
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I suspect JS bestie gay Ken Paves is not really gay.
Otherwise, he would have her styled much better. There are just too many wardrobe mistakes with her…no way would any gay man let her walk around like that!
-ahem-yes i realize the stereotype–but COME ON!
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Kim Kardashian has been doing the white halo around the eye thing for a couple of years now and no one’s ever commented on it that I’ve seen. But then – it was never – quite – this white. And sparkly.
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The only thing that is making posh look fuller in the face are cheek implants.
Jessica s: looks way happier and healthy compared with her sister…. the sister is like a deflated Jessica.
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Jessica’s boobs look really weird in that dress. It’s sad seeing her let herself go like that. She’s like Bridget Jones now.
Ashley looks great though!
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