Nevermind that she probably can’t sing. Nevermind that she obviously can’t dance. Kate Gosselin is going to shove her “smugface diva posing as working mommy” brand down our throats any way she sees fit and we are going to buy it, damnit. Popeater reports that Kate has grand plans to release a Christmas album in which she and her eight little moneymakers sing. I’m so sure it will be a best seller.

Kate Gosselin wants to show America that it’s not just her dance skills that are a hidden talent. Now, the famous mom and her eight adorable tots want to release a holiday CD packed full of all her favorite religious classics.

“Kate is pitching a CD of holiday songs sung by herself and all her children,” a record executive tells me. “She sees herself as a modern day Maria from ‘The Sound of Music,’ except this time the family singers won’t be the Von Trap family, they would be the Gosselins.”

And it’s not like Kate is the first reality star to release a record. Three of the ladies from Bravo’s ‘Real Housewives’ franchise have put out singles (my ears!) and who can forget that Jessica Simpson, at the height of her reality show career, put out a Christmas CD where she sang ‘The Little Drummer Boy’ as a duet with lil’ sis Ashlee. I swear to you this actually exists.

“Don’t be fooled,” a friend of Kate’s tells me. “Kate sees herself as a brand. She knows her fifteen minutes are not going to last forever and wants to make the most of it. After all, it’s Kate that’s putting the food on the table for all those children.”

Remember my scoop on how the kids actually earn more than daddy?

I don’t know how Kate finds the time to be a reality star, author, dancer, mother of eight and now singer, but let’s all hope that her singing is a touch better than her dancing. Kate will have a little time to practice, as sources tell me that no major label has offered her a deal just yet. But just you wait until they hear those adorable little eight voices singing ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’! How could anyone say no?

[From Popeater]

What’s next for Kate, a country music career, a perfume, and/or a clothing line? Her last book in which she shared personal letters to her kids tanked, so she’s got to come up with something to keep us talking about her. She should get even more plastic surgery and try to land another another reality star or a failed musician. Just wait, she’ll latch on to some gullible dumb guy we’ve sort-of heard of before. He’ll smile and pose with her at appearances until her controlling ways overwhelm him and he slinks away. I do think there’s someone out there for Kate, and that she’ll hook up with a new guy sooner rather than later. She knows her career depends on it, and if she’s pitching a holiday album she’s obviously desperate. The mewling cat Christmas album will sell more copies this year.

Update: Kate’s rep denies this report, and tells US Weekly it’s “absolutely untrue.” Thank goodness.