Snooki promises to quit drinking during the day

43380, SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NEW JERSEY - Sunday August 8 2010. Jersey Shore star Snooki and a new gal pal hit the local amusements in Seaside Heights. Snooki and her new BFF went for a hand-in-hand stroll along the boardwalk before stopping off at the Beachcomber Bar and Grill for some lunch. Replete, the ladies then hit the rides, including Snooki and her low-cut top taking a risky ride on a bucking bronco. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com
After an arrest for being publicly drunk and disorderly a little over a week ago, the squat(test) star of MTV reality hit Jersey Shore has vowed to cut down on her drinking. In a press conference following her arrest, Snooki was nonchalant about it and said “I didn’t hurt anybody – stuff like that happens in Jersey… I had too many tequilas. What are you gonna do?” Later, after a talking-to from her father, she said she “felt bad” about the arrest and would cut back.

My dad was very, very pissed. He’s like, ‘I didn’t raise you like this.’ I just felt really bad, so I’m definitely going to stop drinking during the daytime. And now when I go out, I only have a couple drinks. I learned that I need to calm down with drinking.

That’s a lot of insight considering the source. Snooki was trashed relentlessly in a NY Times profile published a couple of weeks ago. (If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s worth a read.) The author compared trying to have a conversation with Snooki to talking to a child and wrote “You have to come down to her level, and sometimes you almost think you need to bribe her with a piece of candy to coax her to be more responsive. She is really only responsive to her own immediate needs and desires.”

The Times journalist also spoke to her father, who wondered aloud why his daughter was famous despite a lack of talent. He also gave an example of how Snooki is just as loud and attention-seeking off the show as she is while the cameras are rolling. He told an embarrassing story of Snooki visiting him at work, “Instead of standing at the counter and saying, ‘Can I speak to my father?’ she walks in and goes, ‘Daddy, Daddy!’ And people are looking at her. It’s not an act. It’s just the way she is.”

I finally broke down and tried to watch this show. (You can see full episodes online at MTV.com) I made it through a whole 20 minutes of episode two in this second season before turning it off. The cast was dealing with hangovers, going shopping, and fighting. In the last scene I saw, Snooki was clumsily trying to clean up the mess from some marinating chicken that fell out of the refrigerator when she opened it. My five year old could have cleaned up that chicken mess better than she did. It’s just The Real World with some really obtuse characters, and it’s really popular for some reason. It doesn’t hurt that the characters can be fascinating to watch, if only to marvel at how truly dense and witless they are.

Speaking of dense characters, a new girl is coming to the Jersey Shore house following Angelina’s exit. She’s named Deena Nicole Cortese and is an old friend of Snooki’s. At a press conference with the cast on Friday, Cortese outlined her qualifications. “I’m very energetic, I’m going hard and you never know what you’re going to get with me.” I’m sure she’ll fit right in with that petri dish of spray tan chemicals, Axe body spray, and frosted lipstick.

43380, SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NEW JERSEY - Sunday August 8 2010. Jersey Shore star Snooki and a new gal pal hit the local amusements in Seaside Heights. Snooki and her new BFF went for a hand-in-hand stroll along the boardwalk before stopping off at the Beachcomber Bar and Grill for some lunch. Replete, the ladies then hit the rides, including Snooki and her low-cut top taking a risky ride on a bucking bronco. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

43380, SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NEW JERSEY - Sunday August 8 2010. Jersey Shore star Snooki and a new gal pal hit the local amusements in Seaside Heights. Snooki and her new BFF went for a hand-in-hand stroll along the boardwalk before stopping off at the Beachcomber Bar and Grill for some lunch. Replete, the ladies then hit the rides, including Snooki and her low-cut top taking a risky ride on a bucking bronco. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

43380, SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NEW JERSEY - Sunday August 8 2010. Jersey Shore star Snooki and a new gal pal hit the local amusements in Seaside Heights. Snooki and her new BFF went for a hand-in-hand stroll along the boardwalk before stopping off at the Beachcomber Bar and Grill for some lunch. Replete, the ladies then hit the rides, including Snooki and her low-cut top taking a risky ride on a bucking bronco. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

43380, SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NEW JERSEY - Sunday August 8 2010. Jersey Shore star Snooki and a new gal pal hit the local amusements in Seaside Heights. Snooki and her new BFF went for a hand-in-hand stroll along the boardwalk before stopping off at the Beachcomber Bar and Grill for some lunch. Replete, the ladies then hit the rides, including Snooki and her low-cut top taking a risky ride on a bucking bronco. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

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19 Responses to “Snooki promises to quit drinking during the day”

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  1. Lantana says:

    At least she has some fashion sense. And apparently common sense too since she’s going to quit drinking during the daytime and only have a couple when she goes out. I’m sure that will happen because she seems like a real go-getter! It’s a win-win situation for her and the TV show. 😛

  2. maya says:

    Snooki has an awful shape. She has no waist at all.

  3. Skins says:

    Uh, Snook, it is your job to drink and act like a drunken lowlife. If you won’t do it, MTV will get rid of you and find somebody who will

  4. aenflex says:

    Sad fact that many people watching this program are not marveling at the density. They are just marveling.

  5. Kaboom says:

    The fug is strong with this one.

  6. denise says:

    @ Kaboom

    LOL!!

  7. Kittypants says:

    God almighty. She looks like a keg with legs.

  8. poster 1 says:

    Is it just me or does the right boob look awfully different than the other? I know it is normal to have one slightly smaller breast, but wtf???

  9. Feebee says:

    There’s a whole lot of things I’d like her to quit doing during the day.

  10. photo jojo says:

    @Fee Bee – agreed. It amazes me that this girl gets any press at all. She’s not pretty, she’s got a personality akin to a bull in a china shop, she’s a drunken whored out mess… I don’t even find it entertaining in a ‘train wreck’ kind of way.

  11. Just a Poster says:

    And this girl gets attention because why?

  12. kaligula says:

    lol well the bar has been raised. just got arrested. what’s she gonna have to do next in order to stay pressworthy??

  13. Kiska says:

    I’ll admit to watching the show, but, I had it on “mute” However, the closed captioning was on and the dialogue was littered with (BLEEP) ever second word and “Like”

    There isn’t a whole lot of Mensa material in the bunch. Yet, they get paid a lot of money to be so stupid. They’ve hit the reality show jack-pot.

  14. original kate says:

    she looks like a drunken turtle with a spray tan.

  15. Sarah says:

    O_o I guess that cookie diet is not working, lmao

  16. TTKG says:

    Say what you want about her intelligence but don’t bash her shape/size, it’s just ignorant.

  17. Jover says:

    There was a time when MTV was actually worth watching a long time ago in a galaxy far away but that time has long passed; why is it even on the air wasting electricity there must be some tax writeoff advantage for Viacom or whoever owns that mess now.

  18. gg says:

    So who’s the bow-legged tramp she’s hanging onto in the pics?

  19. me says:

    #18

    Aw damn, I guess I’m bowlegged. I never noticed I walked differently until seeing that pic hahaha.