On Friday I wrote a kind of editorial lambasting Jennifer Aniston for using the word “retard” in reference to herself during an interview on Regis & Kelly on Thursday. Taken along with all I’ve seen from her in interviews, her casual use of that cruel word was the last straw for me. Over two days have passed and Aniston has not issued any kind of apology or explanation. Is her publicist, Stephen Huvane, on vacation? How could her people fail to see the need to address this in a timely way? They were all over Bill O’Reilly’s ass when he criticized her for some throwaway comments on single motherhood. This is a PR issue, and it should have been dealt with on Friday at the latest.
I was inspired to write this by a comment that the people from the Special Olympics made on the earlier Jennifer Aniston story. It’s the same statement that they’ve made about this to multiple outlets, but I’m glad they visited us and it reminded me that Aniston still hasn’t issued a response. I also finally visited their website, the r-word, which asks people not to use that word and tries to help us understand how hurtful it is. Here’s what they wrote, which is worth re-reading even if you’ve already seen it:
Special Olympics is always disappointed when the R-word is used, especially by someone who is influential to society. The pervasive use of the R-word, even in an off the cuff self-deprecating manner, dehumanizes people with intellectual disabilities and perpetuates painful stereotypes that are a great source of suffering and negative stigma … We hope everyone will take our pledge to stop using the R-word and promote the inclusion and acceptance of people with intellectual disabilities at www.r-word.org.
[From Comment on Celebitchy]
Sarah Palin has a son with Down’s Syndrome and she was understandably angry at Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel for using that word earlier this year. (It’s too bad she doesn’t have a black kid or maybe she would get that the “n” word is just as bad.) Emmanuel used it behind closed doors in a meeting, but it was reported in the Washington Post and seemed to be accurate. Jennifer Aniston said it in an interview and there’s video! When you do a search on Jennifer Aniston, one of the Google auto-fill recommendations is “Jennifer Aniston r word.”
Emmanuel had a private meeting with representatives from the Special Olympics and apologized. (Which Obama also did after comparing his bowling ability to the Special Olympics.) The people at the Special Olympics would surely welcome a sit down with Aniston. Is she ever going to acknowledge her mistake or try to rectify it? Yes it was a mistake and I think it’s clear from everything we know about her that she didn’t know any better. Now that she (presumably) does, is she going to own up to it and try to make it better? Or did she think she could ignore and it would just go away? If she’s not careful, the same thing could happen to her career. As I’ve said before, I to judge celebrities based on what they say and do. In this case Aniston’s lack of a response has revealed a lot to me. I would like to see a concerted effort from her to make it right. She’s not holding a political office, but she’s an international celebrity and people pay attention to the things she says.
If you’d like to learn more about this issue, I encourage you to visit the YouTube channel for the Special Olympics’ campaign on this issue. Their website is r-word.org.
Carl Lewis, Miss Teen USA, Evander Hollyfield and Alonzo Mourning on the r word (they also have videos with Joe Jonas and other celebrities, but this one explains it better)
Johnny Knoxville
Special Olympics message
And here’s a profile of a Special Olympics athlete from South Africa. I just found it pretty moving and wanted to post it.
u cover this and not the speidi sex tape!?!?! JUST KIDDING
Taken along with all I’ve seen from her in interviews, her casual use of that cruel word was the last straw for me.
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For me, too. I have seen first hand how the use of that word can hurt. My sister (who once visited the set of “Along Came Polly” when I was working on it and got to meet Aniston) is developmentally disabled and has autism. She is on the mild range of intellectual disability and has been called words like that. And it hurts. It hurts my sister to hear the word used at all, even out of context. Jennifer Aniston’s insensitivity has sucked most of my good will towards her dry.
People havent cared for a while.
Wow, she’s an amazingly nice woman and guys are totally turning on her. It’ obvious to me and the rest of the world that the intention on her part wasn’t to cause any controversy or what not. I use the word in my daily vocabulary and see nothing wrong with it, along with 99% of the population of the word. If you people can’t stop being PC and super sensative then screw off. JA deserves better from you people.
I think she should acknolwedge the problem but I don’t think it was her intention to hurt anyone by her comment. She’s pretty clueless but not cruel or mean spirited.
I think it would be the right thing for her to apologize for it, but I also think some people’s reactions to it are going overboard. She’s not hitler, for heavens sake. Many of the people who are continually bashing her for it weren’t big fans of hers in the first place. If you look for reasons to dislike a person, you’ll always find them.
This is off the subject, but I’m totally loving the bottom pic of Aniston biting her hand as a giant bus with Angelina on it rolls casually by. What a kodak moment! He he he he!
Pull up your pants Daniel, your self entitlement is showing.
As a member of ‘the population of the world’ at large, I can tell you I do not use the word, nor would I dare tell people who are upset and offended that they are in the wrong to feel this way. It’s not ‘PC’ to take care and consideration over the words you chose to say. It is a little matter of respect and empathy. That you don’t have any just means you are that little bit lower on the totem pole of humanity.
Stupid americans
I’m wondering if she’s going to wait to see if it all blows over…. Thanks for posting the Special Olympic’s stance on the word.
i dont know about this guys… on the one hand, i am pretty progressive and i am all for inclusiveness and i believe public officials should be very aware of their words, but this is jennifer aniston for cripes sake… there are better things to be angry at her about like, for example, her terrible acting in clone rom-coms for years…but she isnt running for public office, shes no Rahm…
i treat her like i treat all my celebrities: like entertainment, if i dont like them or they stop entertaining me, i stop supporting them
it just seems like we are so quick to demonize people for off the cuff statements that were made with no obvious malice
i am all for groups like the special olympics using this as a teaching moment, but to sit and condemn someone who i never really had respect for in the first place?? meh.
Haha, my thoughts maxx
Only in America people start a frenzy over such a minor thing like this.
i, like most people, dont think there is anything to apologize for.
I think it was an insensitive comment, but I think she said it so quickly that it seemed as though she paused afterwords after realizing her comment. She’s going to be targeted due to her celebrity status, and she should have definitely thought about what to say being in her position.
I just think her comment seems very childish, kind of like how some kids used to say “that’s so gay” – gay referring to something stupid. Seems like her “retard” comment is more referring to it being something silly or stupid than a person with disabilitieis, but she’s 40 years old.. she knows better. It is still a very irresponsible/ignorant use of “retard.”
As someone with a sister with a special needs, I promise you I will not be seeing any more of Jennifer Aniston’s movies, nor buying any magazines with her self absorbed face on the cover. It’s not acceptable. For those who say it doesn’t matter and we are all being PC, I challenge you to spend a day with us. To hear someone use this hateful word in front of my inspiring, loving sister, watch her face fall, and say “nope, no impact”. You can’t – you won’t, and frankly…..you don’t deserve to. It shows a lack of education and understanding. When I hear it used I know immediately the person I am talking to will not have as much grace in their whole body as my sister has in her pinky finger. I have worked with Special Olympics for years, and I strongly support their campaigns, as well as the statement they released about her insensitive comment. It has never been said that someone handled a situation with too much grace, and I think at 41 Ms. Aniston should know that.
well i don’t like her, and she is not that innocent, and if this is what it takes to get this non talent hack to go somewhere and stop making those god awful low rent movies, with her rocks for brains, well so be it, i personally am not offended, but if it hurts others, she should apologize.i like jason bateman, but i can’t watch the same performance from her any more, so i skipped her movie once again.
She has not issued an apology because they are gaging the negative. To me if she will respond to eating baby food or rumors about who she is dating. This should have been addressed on Thursday. This is obviously a word she uses in her speak. And I know it is a word her fans use to describe children. Well certain children.
This is not an AMERICAN thing. And that statement is offensive. Lives can be changed with a word. This is from the Foundation she is suppose to support.
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The Lili Claire Foundation’s mission is to help every expectant parent bring a healthy child into the world working to help parents of children with neurogenetic conditions such as Williams Syndrome, Down Syndrome, or Autism. The Foundation helps to ease the challenges these families face by providing a unique and comprehensive blend of support services.
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One of the many challenges facing these families is ignorance of and bigotry against those children and adults living with Down Syndrome, Autism, etc. The thoughtless use of derogatory and insulting names based on mental disabilities such as “r.e.t.a.r.d.” as epithets or in jokes is one of the major barriers to acceptance into the mainstream of society.
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Anyone one who takes such foundation work to heart or even gives it one serious thought would NEVER use the term Aniston used on the Regis Show – not even in private. But to use it on national television during a marketing junket for your product just to get a cheap laugh is unforgivable.
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Jennifer Aniston needs to resign from the Honorary Booard of the Lili Claire Foundation and quite frankly any other board that deals with the special needs of children or adults.
I don’t have a special needs child. So the word has a different feel for me. But I don’t use it. But for the people that do have children, or friend/family it means something. Just because she didn’t mean it in a malicious manner does not make it right. Aniston is not a 16 year old. She is a 41 year old woman. She should know better. And the fact that some are defending her as naive just proves that she is considered an unintelligent woman that needs yet another pass.
It is offensive, of this there is no question. And when you put yourself into the limelight, ill intended or not, you have to be accountable for your statements.
As my opinion of her intellect has taken an irretrievable tumble over the last couple of years, no apology is going to change that.
However, this is a public relations failure and her representative should have dealt with it in a more timely manner as Ms. Aniston seems incapable of doing so on her own.
Ooooooo Holly that was super creepy. I don’t think thats an actual picture of Angie since she never wore a necklace with that yellow dress she wore to Cannes. I think that may be a wax figurine of Angie. However thats creepy.
While Aniston didn’t say the R word to be mean or make fun of anyone, its still inappropriate. It was wrong. Plain and simple no body is gonna convince me otherwise. I am not an unreasonable person. We all know what the R represents. It doesn’t mean silly, doesn’t mean looking funny, doesn’t mean calling yourself an idiot. We know exactly what people see when the R word is mentioned, don’t bullsh*t yourself and pretend that you see anything different than someone who suffers from a mental disability. Thats the fact of the matter. This isn’t about being PC, this is about whats right and wrong. Aniston was wrong.
I don’t know if Aniston will issue an apology, her movie already came out, I doubt it. No body seems to care, very few people. The only thing I can say is Aniston will make a bigger slip up and when she does make her next, even worse faux pas, it will be the straw that breaks the camels back.
As the mother of a child with a learning disability, I believe Jennifer should apologize for her hurtful comment. For all the people who say there is nothing wrong with the r word, how would you like it if someone calls you a stupid Idiot every day. That is how someone with disability feels when they are discriminated on daily for something they have no control over.
For those that use the r word on a daily basis, you clearly are showing what limited vocabulary and intellectual range you have.
I hope not, this idiocy has god to stop.
@ daniel- do you have any links or stats to back your claim of 99%?
also, it’s “sensitive”. If you are going to chastise, it is best to spell correctly, yes?
Of course it is very sad that some of you have (a) familymember(s) that have a disability and are hurt by that word. And I get that.
But that doesn’t mean that you can’t say that word anymore at all. There are already too many words in the USA that cannot be said because it is ”hurtfull” or something.
And she didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Just a slip of the tongue.
The people who are bashing her the most, are the ones who call her “Maniston” and continually run her down..give it a rest haters!
I agree that she didn’t say the “r” word with a malicious intent. BUT all she has to do is issue an apology, she doesn’t even have to write anything,just have her publicist issue a statement. It shows her character, I think any sensitive grown woman in her place in the spotlight would be horrified to think she may have hurt someones’ feelings but obviously she doesn’t care.
Pleister:
You know, I’ll admit, the r-word used to be part of my vocabulary when I was a kid. I didn’t really think about it, and it seemed like a funny way of describing something stupid. Years ago, I started to realize that it was hurtful (which should have been obvious to me), and I worked at not using it. It was pretty easy, actually. Not much of a hardship, to be honest. Like I’ve mentioned before, the English language is pretty varied. If you can’t find a word that replaces it, then I suggest you work at expanding your vocabulary.
Well you know, Jen D, English isn’t my first language so I don’t use it (the language) on a daily basis. Words like sh*t, f*ck yes I use, it’s part of our language too now (luckily it isn’t peeped away, because watching tv would be unbearable). And I can imagine that some people use ”the r-word” daily (native English speakers). Because for them it has the same meaning as the synonym.
Same as I use the word ”idiot” (or something with the same meaning) when someone does something really stupid (can I say that hm?)
Don’t you think all those censored words look dumb, everybody knows what it says? Kind of immature I have to say.
I already hate that you have to say ”r-word” because otherwise people are offended. Come on… that list is already way too long.
Well said, Jen. I often judge people on the words they use. If they’re 30 and still saying gay and retard as “funny slang” and throwing a “fuck and shit” in every other word, they’re not worthy of my time. The English language is beautiful and if you’re not using more words than those, you’re doing it wrong. Time to grow up, don’t you think?
I think it is “creepy” that love angelina knows what necklaces angelina wore with what outfits….stalker-esque, no?
I don’t think she should apologize. Groups are getting all sorts of publicity over this that they normally wouldn’t. Maybe they should send Jen a fruit basket as a thank you instead.
Words don’t offened (unless hypersensativity is taken into account) intent does. So it’s actually being called the “R” word now? Oh brother.
People need to stop being so politically correct. It is just a word. It was a simple mistake.
OMG! it’s the R word, it’s the D word, it’s the S word. You never say shitty speller, it’s called being “word challenged”. Seriously, this is what we have come too?
Every person here has probably said something very wrong and I did not see your press conferences on tv about it. Chill the f*ck out.
It’s Down Syndrome, not Down’s Syndrome (in the US). Something I’m corrected on all the time in education.
I don’t really care whether Aniston apologizes, even though it was a moronic thing to say. People that still say “that’s retarded” or “that’s gay” are just proving that they don’t have the brain power or vocabulary to generate a different response. She’s not worth the fuss.
Samigirl I think its more a case that I am in to fashion as well as a fan of Angelina. Also this dress was quite popular because it was this bright yellow dress (also I am sure that is an Angie wax figurine because the dress doesn’t even really match the one she actually wore), a stunning pop of color, and Angie doesn’t usually do bright color. Everyone talked about it. There were many pictures as well. If you look at any of them Angelina isn’t wearing a necklace.
I don’t think you know what the word stalker means either because it clearly doesn’t apply to me (Not even stalker-esque). However seeing some people defend Aniston’s use of the R word, I am guessing reading a dictionary or trying to expand your vocabulary isn’t something alot of people consider important.
Pleister:
Not sure your point about English not being your first language, but you seem to have a good handle on complaining about all the words you can’t use. Let’s see – people usually use the word “retard” to denote stupid, right? So, here are a few synonyms:
dumb, brainless, stunned, unintelligent, dull, foolish
There are more, but that’s a start. Plenty of other words for you to use. Once again, I don’t find the list too long at all. What, exactly, are you referring to? The only word I can think (other than the obvious derogatory racist terms) is saying “that’s gay,” another phrase that’s never been hard for me not to use.
@caz, how could your sister be offended with JA calling ‘herself’ a ‘retard’ ? does your sis have a way that she is referred to by family friends or herself? surely not ‘retard’, so why would she associate that word with herself? just asking.
@ flourpot
Agreed.
Pleister – it’s a little different than English slang “cuss” words because retarded is a medical diagnosis. Idiot is slang. It is mocking those with a medical problem, not just someone who did something dumb.
If you’re going to argue about the English language like you know what you’re talking about, then you should probably know what you’re talking about first.
It was a stupid comment made while she was poking fun AT HERSELF! Who has never blurted out something they with they hadn’t? I think it’s been covered enough and was not the end of the world like people carried on about it. Let it go already.
she is in the spot light of her own seeking, that comes with responsibility, you can’t just say something all willy,Nelly lol (without thought), you are being watch and critiqued on every thing, it comes with the territory, she should just grow the f**k up, and expand her vocabulary and apologize.
I love how people are trying to censor others because a word…..a WORD…..hurt their feelings.
She has the right to express herself anyway she wants and if people don’t like it and she chooses not to bend to others and issue a fake apology…..and condescend to the masses by meeting with reps like others who do this mea culpa…..Mel Gibson and his “apology” to Jews comes to mind…..well poor you.
Does this affect your day? No! How about focusing your outrage at something worth being outraged about……like helping these kids. Sheilding them and trying to change others is not going to always work. This word will most likely always be used. Preparing these children and adults how to deal with these said people might be a better way to deal with it and make it really so in that simple childhood rhyme:
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.
Grow a pair people. The world stops for noone and takes sympathy for noone. We shouldn’t allow a harmless statement to affect our wellbeing.
I also will have less respect for JA if she actually apologizes. It’s a word.
I, for one, can’t stand how popular this word has become, to the point that even in a professional work environment, people think absolutely nothing of saying it, and every time, I cringe.
I am not an easily offended person, but I really don’t understand how this so easily rolls off the tongue of people who were around when this word very much so became unacceptable.
I think she should apologize because it was stupid and insensitive, but I also think some of the reaction to it is a bit over the top.
Thank you for this, the video brought tears to my eyes.
This is the same woman who uses “cool” and “not cool”
The pot smoking has already limited her range of words or maybe she is that stupid and ignorant
BTW I think Alonzo Mourning is so sexy (I needed to get that out)
I think the reactions are over the top in part because they have to be. I admit, I used to use this word a lot, but we’ve dropped it from our family vocabulary. I have two teenagers, both with diagnosed mental disabilities and while they don’t outwardly appear disabled, they are. The word is hurtful and if you choose to use it, expect a reaction.
I think she spoke quickly, the word flew out, and she should just admit that and move on. It happens, I doubt she meant to be hurtful, so just say it was a mistake, you regret it, and you’re going to remove the word from your vocabulary.
I’m actually surprised she hasn’t said anything yet. It wasn’t just picked up by blogs – advocacy groups came out against it and it was on some larger news programs (abcnews.com for one). One thing they did point out, and something that I will say in support of Aniston, was that it’s been said before by celebrities (they mentioned Howard Stern and another one, I’ve already forgotten the name). I guess we do hold Jennifer Aniston to a higher standard than Howard Stern, but she certainly doesn’t deserve to be the only one blasted about it.
She should apologize, though. She’s arguably one of the biggest celebrities (at least in North America) out there. The apology doesn’t have to be negative thing – it sends the message that yes, the word is commonly used, but that doesn’t make it correct.
@CB
Thanks and I am just floored that she is being defended.. Wonder if the enlightened ones would be so quick to stand behind others if they had said the same. NOPE.
She is TWIT. looking at her interviews is like listening to fingernails scratch a board. She can’t string together a comprehensive sentence. And YES this is the way she talks. This is her daily speech. She should have said something Friday or Thursday. There will be something addressed because she needs to keep that squeaky clean image; that does not really exist. Look at who her friends are. YOU ARE THE COMPANY YOU KEEP.
@Snarf
“words don’t offend, intent does.”
I just saw her interview on Regis and what I was shocked about, after hearing all the hype, was that no-one skipped a beat.
Not one reaction from anyone on set.
Technically shouldn’t Regis be getting flack as well for laughing when she said it? Which he did.
She said it so non-aggressively and without intent to harm that the intent got across in the moment and the actual word seemed to slip right by.
So many extra things people are heaping on her as a person for making a mistake.
It appeared to me that she was comfortable and spoke without thinking of the reaction of individuals who are sensitive to that word.
I’ve done the same thing in my own ways and I don’t know anyone who hasn’t.
I’m gettin too old for this. I didn’t even realize there was a controversy over retard. Not a word I’ve used much since I was a teen, still First Amendment rights guarantee your ability not to be put on trial for “hate speech”. This type of reaction to one word and 30 others is guaranteeing that you and me are being desensitized to the higher right to say whatever you please. Folks, today it’s someone else’s ox whose gourd. Tomorrow it will be yours. Be very careful what you wish for! Big Brother and Sister are building those gulags for all of us.
I know it was an off the cuff comment and she was speaking about herself,but the r word is one of those words in the English Language that we no longer need to use.
Sorry but we do live in a country of free speech.
You can choose to be offended or not, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to choose which words should and shouldn’t be retired.
You can choose who you associate with and support, but the last time I checked being insensitive to others is not a crime.
@Jen D
I agree that her apology can be a positive thing to point out that it is a word that is commonly used by some and that it does hurt or offend others.
I don’t think for a moment that she will stop, (nor should she stop) using it in her private life, she will just craft her public image better.
The funny thing is that she said it so casually and didn’t even stop and realize. Then she said something about how Wally should have had the balls to ask Kassie out. She is not very classy and when she goofs, she can’t gracefully apologise. That my friends is an egotistical person. No one is perfect, but we should all try to be sensitive and when we make mistake apologise sincerely for them and move on. She is fine with her pr written statement to O’Reily adding her little smack and trying to rally behind single mothers but she has no humility when she is made aware that she offended a group of people, especially a people who have to put up with alot of stereotypes. You know they say ,you can run but you can’t hide. I think we are slowly getting a glimpse of what Ms Aniston is all about. She has been packaged and branded as the person she really is not. I think that is the problem and now how can she show her true self without it seeming like “what happened to Jennifer?”
Oh dear, the free speech argument again. Isn’t it a bit much? Can we save that argument for people who actually express an opinion that isn’t popular? Or who publish or post something controversial? You know, someone who actually put some thought into what they did?
Guess what JAs actions and words don’t influence how I live my life or what I say. I would hope the rest of you are intelligent enough it doesn’t either.
What does affect my words and actions is the insanity of this reaction. I don’t generally use the word, although I’m sure I have since I can be well spoken and crass in the same conversation, but the idea of you’re offended so I shouldn’t say it makes me want to exercise my right to say and word I want. So it wouldn’t be all over the news right now if people who were soooo offended werent making a big deal of it.
She said it once. I’ve seen it used across multiple blogs by people —-spelled out mind you—- by the same people who it offends. Aren’t they just as wrong for using it to illustrate their point? Or are they special and can use because it supports their cause and context.
Oh wait anytime this is brought up it brings attention to certain causes…..hmmmmm…..just throwing that out there.
Nope! Free speech doesn’t apply just to what you think it applies to. You have the right to be offended, but there’s nothing in the constitution saying anything about being PC with the freedom of speech.
Everyone can be as bigoted and racist and hateful as they want as long as it doesn’t harm my opportunity. I can choose to ignore their views and they can choose to ignore mine. I normally see that it pisses someone off when I choose to disagree.
But I’m in the military. I can’t always say what I think but I will say I may not agree with what you but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
@ Daniel- I find it unfortunate that you use this word in your “daily vocabulary.” But, as it has been pointed out, we live in a free country and one can choose to be as ignorant as he or she sees fit. However, I question your arbitrary statistic of “99%” of the population not caring about the use of that word…. If you can back it up with reputable poll results that would be helpful, though I have my sincere doubts you can.
I agree with the sentiment that words have the meaning one gives to them. They are “just words,” after all, and have no real power. Or do they? One who is cognitively impaired may have an opinion over whether such a word is harmless.
It can be argued that certain words in society just should not be thrown around casually. Certain words have connotations and a history that make them particularly hurtful. One who is educated, or at the very least was raised with conscientious mentors, will likely know enough not to use those words.
Though my parents raised me to be tough and sassy, and they certainly did not emphasize the modern PC point of view, they also had a household where manners and respectability were emphasized and the use of these particularly offensive words was not acceptable. I find it sad that some people were not raised with such standards, but that is an unfortunate reality. I certainly do not censor myself, and one could argue my language can fall into the vulgar end of the spectrum at times, but there are some words I just do not use.
It ultimately requires personal responsibility; one can choose to use the words or choose not to. But if one chooses to use these words, one can expect a response from those who take offense. Such is the responsibility that goes along with freedom of speech.
She was foolish to use this word, and she should acknowledge that is was foolish, but I won’t hold it against her forever. I don’t generally watch the movies she is in, as they tend to lack explosions and buff guys doing karate, and so I certainly won’t be boycotting her.
But I would be nice for her to say “I was a fool, sorry!” Surely she can’t put down the bong long enough to mutter those simple words.
@me
“Nope! Free speech doesn’t apply just to what you think it applies to.”
Not sure if you’re referring to what I said, but if you are I never said free speech only applies to opinions. I think it’s silly to apply it to something Jennifer Aniston said. No one’s getting ready to throw her in jail. We can say she should apologize, but it’s her choice whether or not she wants to do it. It’s also the public’s choice on how they want to view her based on her actions and what she says. See, the nice the thing about freedom of speech is that we don’t have to accept what the rich and powerful say. We get to call them on it.
I get you there, but at the same time Many are aghast that she even has this particular word in her vocabulary.
And yes we can call those rich people (how dare they do better then us) on it. Yay! But who really cares? Will it solve anything? Look how many have come forth denouncing her on this! What a waste of energy. I wish other things could commend such public outrage where perhaps it could be harnessed for good.
“And yes we can call those rich people (how dare they do better then us) on it.”
This isn’t about being upset at people for being rich – just not allowing people who have a bigger voice to get away with everything. Who really cares? Well, you and I care enough to continuously comment on it.
I do agree with you about an earlier point you made about the hypocrisy of just going after Jennifer Aniston. I think a huge motivator in attacking her instead of other celebrities is because she’s just not really popular right now, which, to use one of her expressions, is really “uncool.”
Since her divorce from Brad Pitt Jennifer Aniston have been on a personal mission to destroy Angelina Jolie, her R, snarky comment was probably well planned ahead of time, because of incenuations coming from JA fan base about the Jolie twins. Shelsea Handler mocked the Jolie-Pitt kids on her show and sat down with JA rediculing Jolie. Aniston is about to find out the hard way, that when you dig a grave for somebody you should also dig one for yourself.
Sorry, she should NOt apologize. She’s a person like all of us, she used the word referring herself. She could’ve used a different word, yes.
Retard, idiot, moron, inbecile, cretin.should we scap all of these too?
Grow up people.
This is sooo over the top. It’s ridiculous.
I think most of you who are so offended are Jennifer Aniston haters to begin with. You are using her use of the word to justify your irrational dislike of someone you’ve never even met or really know very little about except what the tabloids put out there for sensationalism. Love Angelina, you come to mind. Not only that but if no one cares about Jennifer Aniston why are there so many hits on posts that have anything to do with her? You are always on them.
By the way mentally challenged is the correct terminology not mentally handicapped.
36.gretchen:
@caz, how could your sister be offended with JA calling ‘herself’ a ‘retard’ ? does your sis have a way that she is referred to by family friends or herself? surely not ‘retard’, so why would she associate that word with herself? just asking.
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I can’t speak for caz, but my sister is developmentally disabled and she has heard that word used to describe her many times by kids in her school (she was mainstreamed). So now, when she hears it used casually, she doesn’t think it so funny or innocent. She knows it is a word that has been used to put her down and hurt her feelings. We never shielded her from the cruelties of the world, she’s tough. But being tough doesn’t mean that hearing an actress that you love and got the chance to meet casually bandy about a word that has been used to hurt doesn’t hurt. I would imagine that it does.
Yes, it’s just a word, but unfortunately, words have power and meaning and while it is someone’s right to be as ignorant and insensitive as they would like to be, it doesn’t mean others can’t have a problem with it.
(And off topic: Gretchen, you wanted to know about my friendship with Peter – click my name and read the “Dearly Departed” entry on my blog.)
I actually enjoy the discussion because it’s good to have conversation where people have verystrong views but it hasn’t denigrated to name calling. Both sides have great points, but most likely people won’t change that gut check on what they feel.
I don’t like the word. I’ve used it though. I’m sure even recently, although I am careful around the company I use it in. I run with a group with a Jewish friend who can make jokes about how hot ovens are or that we have a few “f-word” hags and queens and the whole gamut. If you’re offended you speak up to the person. But that rarely happens.
My ex boyfriend wanted to take back the “n word” and while initially offended even with the context (he’d call white people the n word) I finally subscribed to he can say what he wants
and take the consequences…..even if it was a beating due to how charged the word is to many.
But to universally say what is right and wrong in speech…..that gets me going. But you always face the consequences no matter what you do and dont say. You have a choice to say something anything you want, but it can still
negatively impact you. Perception can impact you as well.
In the end we the people will never get over what these words mean if we don’t discuss it. It continues to impact us because we can’t face it head on and take the sting out of a word. You can put any of those words you hate within this context.
What is funny these days is how we adjust. What can be said on tv now is very different then a couple of years ago.
Also if you go to other countries they don’t always bleep the n word out of movies, but they do other lesser negative conotated words. My jaw dropped when I realized it. And then i was amused because i didn’t know if it was an intentional slight or a cultural issue.
@dvalery: I don’t think Aniston’s comment was intended at Jolie or Jolie’s children, never mind that her fan base has tried to label the three youngest children as “retarded”, “autistic”, having Down syndrome etc., with nothing to back it up. It’s just spiteful snarking. I think Aniston used the word off the cuff without any intention of hurting anyone and without any clue that the word would be seen as offensive.
But that’s exactly her problem. She’s clueless about so many things. And at 41 years old, it’s not cute or funny, it’s ridiculous. She’s not a teenager any more, although she seems to try her best to dress and act like one. She’s a grown woman who opens her mouth and continually shoves her foot into it. I keep getting the impression that if you opened her head you’d find nothing inside but vacuum.
So you are saying taht JA planned all this just to get to Angelina…wow…you give her a lot of credit! By your way of thinking she is a rocket scientist to have such a complicated plan to get back at Angelina.
She said a word, not a good word, but a word just the same. Was it wrong, should she apologize, sure, will she, who knows. But the people that are all up in arms about it are making it a bigger deal than the person who actually said it.
xxodettexx said it best.
It’s not okay to use the word with malice, but I’m not going to demonize JA at this point. I still use the word occasionally without thinking and I’m glad there are people out there bringing it to my attention that it’s not cool.
Agreeing w/ many here. Never saw tedious controversy over words until I lived in America; it’s comical that they don’t see it as ridiculous like the rest of the world. Too busy being PC self righteous Americans, I guess?
Look, Americans, I love you guys I swear, but when you ask us what it is about you we find abrasive? Dear Lord, this one is up there.
My husband is Canadian and he brings up a good point. He thinks (and I am inclined to agree) that they get it from their Universities; seemingly a very ‘who can be the most offended’ sort of environment.
AMERICA: A word does not convey an opinion. Context & intention, these convey opinions. Opinions are or are not offensive, not the words used to express them. And she did not have a bad intention here. Stop giving simple words so much power, you’ll find it as annoying as the rest of us do one day, trust me.
Holly that was funny! Neither Grandma and I noticed that pic at first glance.
Celebitchy: Do not even try to compare the n-word with retard. The n-word 40 years ago was always said with a sense of malice, a sense of anger and loaded with cruelty. It was meant fully and completely to dehumanize and demoralize people. I’ve been called the n-word and I can’t even say the level of hurt that comes from a word with such a history-those people basically told me that in their opinion, I wasn’t worth living because of my skin color.
Retard hurts some feelings but it is in no way the same historically or meaningfully as the n-word. No one calls someone a retard intending that their life is worthless.
Retard is no longer a medical diagnosis. The word has multiple other meanings that have nothing to do with being challenged mentally. The n-word is the n-word. Period.
I’m just wondering; are people saying that we should totally get rid of the word “retarded” or just when used to say someone is stupid? In other words, if we use “developmentally delayed” now, when do people use the term “retarded”? Is this a word that people want to get rid of in the English language?
Many public figures received A LOT of flack for using this word, or saying inappropriate things towards those who are mentally handicapped (like President Obama, Rahm Emanuelle, that movie which used the word a lot, The Family Guy, etc.) And, they’ve all addressed the issue publically, and/or apologized.
But, somehow Aniston is a special case? Why? Because she’s so cute and didn’t mean anything? So let’s ignore it? Nope–sorry. 🙂
Her silence speaks volumes here. I mean she addresses every rumor there is about her (eating baby food, the pregnancy rumors, the dating rumors, Bill O’Reilly, etc). WHY is she saying nothing now? She can talk about baby food but not about this? Ok 🙂
Sorry, no excuses here. She’s a public figure and should be able to talk about her own language choices. She’s the one who is always in the public eye begging for our attention. Well, she’s got it now. She really got it.
I am going to fess up to using this word and not really thinking much about it. I watched those videos and I got a different perspective and so I am going to choose to put that word in a catagory of words I don’t use because they are hurtful to others.
For the defenders of her use of the word, free speech means you can say what you want with out the goverment coming after you. But you own what you say and she said it and hurt some feelings and she needs to own it.
Even Dr. Laura was aware enough to realize that by using the N-word she had hurt people, and was therefore wrong to have used it. Surely if Jennifer is not intelligent enough to figure out why this word is offensive, at least Huvane should be, and script her an apology. If she does not gracefully apologize, she will lose me forever.
The tongue is sharper than the sword. That is why we must wield our words carefully, IMO. The issue is not whether or not I have the RIGHT to say whatever I want (of course I do) it is whether I should say whatever I want.
Don’t you think that once JA is made aware of her mistake and how hurtful that word is, she will feel terrible? She’s notoriously nice and kind-hearted, so I’m sure an apology is on its way.
I can’t wait until any of you people on here make a mistake. Seriously, your lambasting will come back to haunt you. God forbid you have a slip of the tongue or unknowingly say the wrong thing here or there. You must be perfect!
I can’t wait until any of you people on here make a mistake. Seriously, your lambasting will come back to haunt you. God forbid you have a slip of the tongue or unknowingly say the wrong thing here or there. You must be perfect!
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I’ve made plenty of mistakes. And I own them and apologize when an apology is due. That’s all anyone is asking of her.
dvalery, you sould like a full fledged nutcase! Did you really type that? WOW!
I hope you’re on Jolie’s payroll because it’s not very lucrative just being a deranged fan!
I can’t stop laughing at your post even though you obviously didn’t mean to be funny.
Quite frankly I think people haven’t made such a big deal about it because it seemed to be a quick comment about herself and she wasn’t trying to be mean about it. The President got in trouble because he’s the President. Rahm got in trouble because he’s a politician.
She’s an actress who made a stupid comment on a morning tv show. Actors say stupid nonsense all the time. And believe it or not, the n-word and retard are just not in the same category for most people. For most people, retard just isn’t that bad of a word, especially when used in a sort of random casual way that didn’t really mean “mentally challenged”.
Thank god everyone isn’t famous, with special interest groups watching our every move and demanding we issue formal apologies every time we say something off-color. I’d be in meetings with groups until the day I died.
I don’t think Jennifer Aniston should have to apologize for anything, and she certainly doesn’t need to sit down with the Special Olympics people. How needlessly sensitive are we going to get as a country before everyone realizes that words don’t mean shit, it’s the meaning you put behind them.
@Cruisin Through: No kidding, huh? LOL “@I hope you’re on Jolie’s payroll because it’s not very lucrative just being a deranged fan!”
Good Lord, people are way too sensitive these days.
The entitlement of people for the “right” to say words that cause pain is unreal!
The ignorance as to what the 1st Amendment says is equally unreal and embarrassing. It has nothing to do with whether someone can say ugly words and not get slaughtered in the public opinion about it. You should read our Constitution before you use it to defend anyone who uses words that cause pain and don’t apologize. Because that’s where the biggest problem is at this point… we’ve all slipped at one point or another in our lives, but we’re grownups now and take responsibility and CARE if we hurt others (well, clearly not ALL of us) and make apologies as necessary.
And I don’t think “people are too sensitive these days”… people used to be more sensitive to OTHERS and not feel entitled to do things that hurt other people. People aren’t more sensitive about words and things that offend them, and people are DEFINITELY not more sensitive to the feelings of others.
Why do I get the feeling that the people defending Jennifer would attack Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts, Jesse James, etc if they used the word or that these posters use the n,c-word all the time? I don’t think Jennifer was trying to be hurtful but I’m surprised she doesn’t feel she should apologize. It’s a minor controversy but she and her people must have known and been contacted about this.
A) I agree with everyone that says that the “r-word” and the n-word are NOT at ALL on the same level. Comment #73 summed it up beautifully.
B) I agree with everyone saying that there comes a point where words are just words. Comment #35 gives a lot of synonyms for the “r-word” that are less offensive; so if I went up to one of your loved ones who is “mentally handicapped” and called her “dumb” or “brainless” that would make me me more proper or less offensive? No… it wouldn’t. Because of my INTENT. Really if we wanted to be PC we’d realize that it’s inappropriate/harmful to insult anyone’s mental faculties because it could be hurtful to them. Please realize that I am NOT trying to fight for the right to use the “r-word,” I’m simply trying to point out that words themselves are not what is hurtful to you, but the meaning that YOU and/or your sister/mother/friend attribute to them, and the meaning that the USER intended to have attributed to them.
And to everyone who is outraged that we shouldn’t say anything to offend or hurt another, I agree with you. In an ideal world none of us would ever have to feel inferior or hurt, but unfortunately there will always be someone to be hurt/offended/outraged at something that another person said. If it wasn’t the “r-word” they would find something else to take up arms against. Sure, if she was actually calling someone besides herself the “r-word,” and meant it to be derogative, that could be offensive. But I’m of the opinion that while we should all try to be considerate, I’m not personally responsible for making sure that you have a comfortable, pain-free existence here on Earth. I believe that is your own responsibility, so you’d do best to grow a thick skin and get over it, especially when no intention of harm was meant.
I personally think this whole conversation is rather “mentally challenged…” :/
@Liana, I read your blog post and i’m sorry to hear about the passing of someone who was such a wonderful friend. I’m sure you consider yourself lucky to have been blessed with that kind of friend. Here’s to the crying coming less often and the memories staying bright and strong. Thanks for sharing 🙂 I enjoyed your writing
It’s a really dumb thing to say, but out of curiosity, was there this outrage when Guy Richie called Madonna “retarded” in an interview? I’m just curious.
I wonder if Brad Pitt’s comments about the death penalty in relation to BP oil spill will get the same amount of comments.
she should have apologized, but if she does it now it will seem not sincere.
“The entitlement of people for the “right” to say words that cause pain is unreal!”
“people used to be more sensitive to OTHERS and not feel entitled to do things that hurt other people.”
Well said, Diva!
Why would anyone want to use those words? To deliberately cause pain, because they are nasty pieces of crap.
I’m downright offended that a person should presume to defend himself against my campaign to not bother to avoid offending him. The nerve of some provincials, huh?
*sensitivity chip malfunction status: full power*
OC lady: & Diva: Well said ladies. Great comments.
In the way/context of how JA used the r word, it was derogatory, no 2 ways about it. If you can’t understand that then your understanding of the English language isn’t that great. She may not have intended it in a ‘mean’ way, but it still did not come across well at all. It was a stupid thing to say, and glaringly showed her lack of maturity and intelligence.
I love how her fans will defend her no matter what she does. If anyone else had said/done the same thing, you can bet there would be a heck of a lot of nasty comments. Especially if she-who-must-not-be-named had done the same thing.
On a superficial note, I really hate that dress that she is wearing in those bottom pics.
I never comment (I don’t usually have the time or inclination) but I wanted to thank you so much for posting this story. I teach drama and creative writing to adults with intellectual disabilities and the Special Olympics and the end the R- word campaign are programs that are so close to my heart. Language can make a big difference and the casual use of any word that demeans others hurts the fundamental core of the human spirit.
@The Hamm is My Dream Man: Well perhaps, to some people this word is as hurtful – historically, as well as currently. It’s not for you to judge what’s ‘worse’.
It’s like any word that has been commonly used to denigrate a population, whether they are a minority or not. Whether it be race, sex, gender, caste, physical or mental disability. They (we) all have rights. Those who are in the public eye have a certain responsibility.
Edit: These comparisons bring to mind M.I.A’s music vid with all the red haired kids.. and how a lot of people didn’t understand that.
@Gretchen: Thanks. THAT was the Peter Steele I knew. Well, I also knew the “big idiot” kill me now cuz everything dies version, but you know…
@Jo Mama Besser: I think you broke me.
@Sally
I started to write a response, but you did a much better job. Well said!
sally: *applause*
i don’t know where the “free speech” argument is coming from. no one is saying she should be thrown in jail for what she said. the fact that she said whatever she felt like, without censorship, IS free speech. she is free to say offensive words and we are free to dislike it and to express that dislike.
i suspect she and her PR people are staying mum in the hopes that this will just go away, be forgotten. there’s no way they’re unaware of the fact that there have been several calls for her to address her use of the word. that means the silence is intentional, either because they want it to go away – or they are quite busy calculating up some way to respond. either way, it says a lot.
Jen will apologize when she finds a way to come across as the victim.
“For most people, retard just isn’t that bad of a word, especially when used in a sort of random casual way that didn’t really mean “mentally challenged”
That IS what they mean by it, when they are using it to self-deprecate. They are putting themselves down, in what they think is a humorous way. “I’m such a retard!”
That’s WHY it’s so offensive and hurtful.
I don’t get it. It is an actual word. What if she meant she felt “slow or delayed in reaction.”
What was the context? If she said, “I felt like a retarded person.’ That is one thing, but if she said, “I felt retarded” then it is an actual adjective. To take that so personally is just pathetic. Is she supposed to only say quotable, suave things? She is only human.
JA is old enough to have been around when this word became unacceptable, and did actually pretty much disappear from vocabulary.
I’m not sure of where or when the resurgence of it started, but I do somewhat understand its use within a younger group, who perhaps have little knowledge of the word’s history. What I don’t understand, are the older people who’ve picked it up, instead of maybe, I don’t know, mentioning that the word has a history of very negative connotation.
I’m not being “too PC” here (that’s not me at all), but I was always under the impression that this word in particular was one of the biggies and off-limits, so this all baffles me. What really, really baffles me are the people who can still defend its use even in the face of testimony from those affected.
@orion: it’s because people still don’t believe that those who are intellectually disabled HAVE feelings or are capable of understanding. They are not taking into account the vast range of intellectual disability – from borderline to profound.
I’ve always been an advocate for the intellectually disabled population and always will be, through my own family experience and the experiences I have gained from working at camps for the intellectually disabled and working with Special Olympics. I am not perfect (and quite often very much NOT PC), but this is one area in which I try to do my best to be sensitive and to help educate others where possible.
@Me
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.”
That is a completely untrue saying, and if you actually believe it then you are ignorant to the core and have apparently no human experience to draw from.
You obviously have no empathy in your heart, so it will be hard to explain to you, but think back to when you were a bully in the schoolyard, and try to remember the pain on the other kids’ faces. Did taunting the human kids make them cry? Yes, it did. Make a note. Humans feel, sociopaths do not feel.
Please, CB, say this isn’t true….
http://www.mirror.co.uk/most-popular/2010/08/21/jennifer-aniston-secretly-dating-john-mayer-for-the-third-time-115875-22502251/#ixzz0xMeaM76S
I think JA meant no disrespect, BUT when she said “A Retard” it made it personal to a large community of people. It also brings to the forefront hateful comments. Look at some websites and see for yourself. One of the most disgusting, “The only ones that care are relatives of retards.” It has become incinerary, although that was not her intention. If your words incite and hurt others then you are responsible for them no matter your intent. She needs to acknowledge that.
She sits as Honorary Board Member of the Lili Claire Foundation which is a organization that is fighting against the use of the word. THIS is an example of a celebrity putting their name to charity organizations and not knowing anything about it. IF she was actively involved in this group she would have been aware of how that word offends them. But I am sure she has no clue about this group or anything else. Just putting her name to something to look good on paper.
Let Sandra B, Angelina or some other celebrity have said this. the attacks would have been brutal Why is Aniston looked at as a wide eye doe that does not know any better. When does a 41 year old woman expected to grow the hell up.
We are talking about a woman who banned her the woman that raised her – her own mother, from her life (a single Mom who raised her on her own, shelter, food, clothing – and who it is reported, let her daughter live on her dime, well into adulthood). The woman gives a magazine interview, and Aniston boots her from her life – she is not invited to her wedding, she never meets Brad Pitt (that I wouldn’t forgive if I was her Mama) and proceeds to not talk to her for 15 years. Not for abusing her, not for attacking her, not for stealing from her – but because her Mom gave an interview to Inside Edition – that was an automatic, banishment. This is a woman who despite her fake ‘warmth’ that she puts on for people she wants to like her, really is quite cold. So if you’re waiting for her to apologize, or end a long running grudge, you’ll be waiting a long time.
I’m a bit mixed on the issue because I’ve never called someone who was learning, mentally, or developmentally challenged a retard. Truthfully I’ve only used it to refer to someone of higher intelligence who did something silly. I’m 30 so I have reference to when it was used as an actual title. I have an aunt who is developmentally challenged and she’s about 50 years old. The family didn’t send her away and she’s always been a part of family gatherings. I don’t remember anyone ever calling her a retard as long as I’ve been alive.
@CB Rawks
You probably shouldn’t call people
“ignorant to the core”
“obviously having no empathy in their heart” and “nasty pieces of crap” when you are taking the position of being kind and conscious with the words we choose..it’s pretty hypocritical.
The difference between you and Jen is that she didn’t intend to hurt anyone with her words while you on the other hand deliberately used your words with anger and with the intent to hurt.
You aren’t doing much to prove that you’re any better than the people you are attacking for being insensitive and negligent with THEIR words when you are insensitive and negligent with YOURS.
I sometimes visit this site and I end up shaking my head due to some comments made. Often CB will describe somone with known mental issues has “LOONY”or “Crazy” this to me as someone who works with adult that are strugling with mental disorder, it’s as offensive as Jennifer using thr “R” word. We are all guilty of making remarks not because we mean it, but because the society has made it ok. Walking a mile in their shoes will help us uderstand the huge stigma people with disabilties faces.
@orion70 – Exactly, a new generation have taken up the word and have decided that it means something new.
“Retard” had its origins in the late 1400’s, where it meant to be slow or to loiter. Hence, we call people “tardy” when they show up late. To “retard” in the musical sense still means to “slow down” the tempo.
Later, it evolved into a word to describe the mentally handicapped. Now, it’s evolving again. If people simply allowed this evolution to happen instead of constantly bringing up the word’s outdated definition, we could all move on. Words change meaning over time.
I disagree. Pointing out that someone is cruel, is not the same as being cruel yourself.
I stand by my opinion, and yes I delivered it vehemently against someone who apparently has no empathy at all.
That commenter doesn’t believe that words can hurt, and suggested everyone “grow a pair”. That shows zero empathy. I disagree with what he said, and I have every right to say so, including listing my reasoning.
I believe bullies should be taken down a peg and told off.
I also believe that murderers should be executed, to protect everyone else in society.
Why would I be sensitive to someone who is obviously cold and insensitive themself? They won’t hear or understand that. If they had functioning feelings they wouldn’t BE bullies.
And no, it’s not negligent, I stand by my comments and the words I chose.
You were bothered that I said people who use the word retard were “nasty pieces of crap”. Obviously you are a person who uses the word retard. Can’t help you with that one, that’s your problem.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.”
That is a completely untrue saying, and if you actually believe it then you are ignorant to the core and have apparently no human experience to draw from.
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Of course it’s true, that’s why it’s been told to generations of schoolchildren- if it hadn’t worked for each generation, it would’ve been abandoned.
Okay, my response is to the post above, but I think it can be stretched to cover this thread’s actual topic:
Most of the time (demagoguery & such aside, obvsly) words only have the power that we allow them. That’s the overt meaning of that old saw. Another message it contains by implication, is that we can just stop caring about the opinions of the name-callers. That might seem unfeeling but it is also eminently sensible. Not everyone you meet as you go through life will like you, or even respect you, and not everyone will treat you with courtesy & respect. Of course you expect good manners in polite society, but you have to also remember that the majority of our society is not polite, and never has been.
I also think we should call a moratorium on the ‘sociopath’ tag. It’s overused enough already, no need to encourage it.
Edit: Since this post is already ridiculously long… I agree, comparing ‘retarded’ to the n-word is a straw man argument. For all the reasons The Hamm so eloquently explained.
I have another “r” word for you: RIDICULOUS!
As the mother of a daughter with disabilities, I can say that I am neither appalled nor mortified by JA’s use of this word. Why? Because in our culture today the word is widely used as a synonym for “stupid”, “idiot”, “dumb”, etc and nothing more. JA clearly used it in this innocent (although arguably ignorant) context. She did NOT use it to bash the mentally challenged.
RIght or wrong, I don’t think most people in our current culture even associate the “r” word with truly disabled and/or mentally challenged people any more than they associate them with its synonyms – like “stupid”, “dumb”, “idiot”, etc.
I am all for thoughtful, tolerant speech, but the public reaction to this situation is ridiculous. JA’s “misstep” was clearly taken out of the context in which it was spoken. And while I agree that it wasn’t the best choice of words, she certainly doesn’t deserve the public outrage she has received. (As one poster mentioned: why is Regis remaining unscathed?)
I think some people take pleasure in finding reasons to be offended.
Her movie, the Switch, bombed at the box office (n°8!!!!). So, it’s true that Karma is a real B**ch!!
She should apologize for using this word, but she also should apologize for being paid millions and millions for such bad movies….
Sally: It isn’t about which is “worse”, I never said the n-word was worse. The two words are different, have entirely different histories; entirely different thought processes behind them.
The n-word has ALWAYS been used to indicate lower social standing, poor character, general unworthiness to exist and to give the user of the word a sense of entitlement and superiority over the people they called the word. The n-word is used to threaten people, to degrade people, to “put people in their place”. It tells someone that they aren’t human. That they exist on a lower plane than those who use it. The word means nothing else. The n-word was created as an insult-a cruel way to control and degrade others.
The word “retard” has multiple meanings that have evolved a lot over time. It still means a number of different things beside mentally challenged and even then, it is an accurate word for the disability. “Retard” means slow, delayed, hinder, impede.
Developmental delays are retardation, just based on the pure definition of the word. It isn’t an insult in and of itself; it wasn’t created as an insult. People changed the original meaning to be something insulting.
And now the meaning is changing again. It means the same as imbecile, which is apparently inoffensive now even though it used to be an even more offensive thing to say than “retard”. It is increasingly becoming just another word for stupid or dumb not literally mentally handicapped. Or should not use stupid or dumb either because those words might refer to those with developmental delays?
Saying either word is not funny or cute or appropriate but comparing the two is silly. The n-word is not the same as “retard”. It never has been, it never will be. The words are different. The histories different.
I did not, and will never, say that no one’s feelings get hurt when someone calls them retarded or uses the word to denigrate them. The point I was making is that you can’t compare the two words. I was not saying one hurts feelings and the other doesn’t.
EDIT: Sorry for the rather long comment. I just figured this was more of a discussion topic than a normal celeb post.
when you sit on the board of a foundation that is speaking out against doing something, and you do it, you should apologize. Plain and simple.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.”
i disagree, respectable decent people and senstive human ,will never ever eccept harsh words or bad ones backing that , since centuries people lose thier life over honore or respect whn been attacked phiscylically or verbally.
to my mind , stabbing with knife is te same as insulting me by word bacz usually me and people who i know raised very well n worked ard in thier life therefore no one deserve to be called names or using bad words.
to the subject now, i agree so much with someone said always using bad or insestive words its lack of manners and knowlodge .
to jennifer anniston in particular , yes she is retard otherwise she would not used this word on public because she is defently slow and handicap in her whole interview. if she will disagree with calling a real retard maybe she will understand how its painful a person born with such symptoms feels.
from now on i will call her jennifer retardson
and i want specially tell her none of her all movies ever touch me in heart as a smile of those people with disabilties .
thanks
Ms Anniston’s behavior wrong and strong.
4 days, a simple apology would’ve sufficed but no she has to wait on her publicists to guide her, oh well.
ITA @ The Hamm. You summarized the difference between the two words PERFECTLY. Thanks for that.
I’m sure she didn’t say it with any ill intent. But I’m VERY surprised we haven’t seen an apology. I agree; her PR firm must be on vacation!
Much ado about nothing, IMHO
This is going to be a long post but I think there are two different discussions going on here. One discussion is about whether Aniston should have said the “r-word” and whether it is a “big deal”. The other is about whether she should have a right to say it. To those questions, I would answer “no” and “yes” respectively. Whether you like it or not, arguing that nobody should have the right to say a certain word that offends you IS a free speech issue. In fact, free speech is the very precious right that allows you to argue against someone else using a hateful term in the first place.
I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t be offended by a word-but why can’t you be against a word that offends you without saying it should be eradicated from the English vocabulary? And yes, this is a VERY American thing–half my family lives in France and they don’t even understand why this is even up for debate. Americans tend to take everything personally and often have an inability to separate personal opinion from the inherent rights of others.
A good example would be the potential construction of a mosque at Ground Zero. Now to me, this is a HUGE F-U to those who died on 9/11 and personally, it completely offends me and I’m disgusted that Rauf would not have enough respect for this country to build it elsewhere. However, at the end of the day, I believe in religious freedom and as such, believe they have a right to put their mosque there. Yes, it is a total asshole move but religious freedom means religious freedom. My personal feelings aside, constitutionally, it is fair. There are a lot of words I read on Celebitchy and hear daily that offend me (sl*t, wh*re, h*) but I don’t preach to other posters about how offensive that language is, nor do I demonize others for saying them. Because at the end of the day, I recognize that free speech is special and rare. It is what allows us to speak out against what we think is wrong and as such, I will defend it till the day I die.
That being said, I agree it would be nice if Aniston apologized because she makes a living off of being a likable actress and she clearly offended so many. BUT it is a slippery slope to start banning words from the English language based on peoples’ subjective interpretations.
Kitten: “A good example would be the potential construction of a mosque at Ground Zero. Now to me, this is a HUGE F-U to those who died on 9/11 and personally, it completely offends me and I’m disgusted that Rauf would not have enough respect for this country to build it elsewhere. However, at the end of the day, I believe in religious freedom and as such, believe they have a right to put their mosque there. Yes, it is a total asshole move but religious freedom means religious freedom.”
@Kitten: I also have the same mix of feelings/beliefs regarding the location of the mosque, agree 100%
Not everyone understands how the use of these words affect other people. Kids / people for instance call other kids/ people “fatty” or “mongo” and things like that.
It’s funny to those who don’t know because it’s the “unknown”
Don’t be so hard on her – i am sure she wasn’t out to upset anyone – it’s just her way of talking. She may not personally know anyone that is mentally challenged and it might be “unknown” to her and that’s why she uses the words – Geez get off your “Sensitive horse” already people!
@ Gretchen : Agreed, the Mosque on Ground Zero is a BIG FAT SLAP IN THE FACE! It’s disgusting!
@ Gretchen-My parents are 100% against it and it’s been interesting debating it in my family. It’s such a complex issue that I’ve changed my mind 100 times so far. It is especially scary when you start to research the sketchiness that is Rauf. Ultimately, I decided to attempt to stay consistent with my stance on religious freedom. Still, I am unable to form a reasonable argument (beyond “religious freedom”) in support of this. And yes, personally, I find it abhorrent.
Kitten, Gretchen, and Lway:
Would it make a difference to you to learn that at least one cop who died at Ground Zero was Muslim? (Didn’t get to hear much of the program, but his mother was on DemocracyNow! last week.)
I think everyone needs to chill.
Tried to edit but it was too late.
Not a cop- my bad- a police cadet and EMT, and apparently he wasn’t on-call when he died. Still, there were victims of all religions, and I guess I just don’t see why including a mosque should be a problem. Islam did not attack the Twin Towers.
Jennifer needs to monitor her language more carefully and Chelsea, Aniston along with their shared PR GURU needs to stop with the attacks on Jolie, Pitt and their children. Are they that desperate to keep them relevant? Can’t these women stand on their own talent? It just eggs the rabid fans on that attack innocent children, who do use that R-word on innocent children when they are not and even if they were, so what? It’s sad how low some in Hollywood will sink to appear cute, funny and stay popular. As we can see, not helping to sell movie tickets or helping ratings on E!.
Kitten, I think your post was well thought out and expressed very nicely. You make some excellent points about free speech and freedom of religion. These are sticky issues and I guess we’ll be arguing them forever in one form or another. Maybe that’s why I don’t think what JA said was a big deal…there are so many more things that deserve our attention than a thoughtless comment by an actress.
And I really, really, really do not want that mosque to be built there. But I am also a constitutionalist and so I am torn, like so many others. It’s hard to know what’s right and wrong sometimes.
“Jen will apologize when she finds a way to come across as the victim.” (by Anna)
Exactly!
Yes, Anniston let the word slip. A little apology would be nice. But look at the reaction to Jen’s sentence by the brunette filling in for Kelly– she thought it was totally hilarious.
“Yes, Anniston let the word slip. A little apology would be nice. But look at the reaction to Jen’s sentence by the brunette filling in for Kelly– she thought it was totally hilarious.”
That’s exactly why it shouldn’t be said at all. Because it offends many people, but some (or even many) still think it’s funny to relate a mental disability to depreciation or mockery (whether if it’s self-deprecation or not).
I can’t believe how many people are commenting on this! This is so stupid!
Jeez, overreacting much, people?
Kitten, Gretchen, Lway: Not all Muslims are the same just as not all Christians are the same. The people who destroyed the Twin Towers and murdered thousands of people are not the same people are those who want to build a mosque and community center a few blocks away in an old Burlington Coat Factory.
The only thing the two groups have in common is a religion-and both groups seem to interpret the religion in different ways. It is extremely narrow-minded to think that building a mosque (not a terrorist training center, or a temple to Al Qaeda or Osama Bin Laden) two blocks away is some kind of slap in the face. There is actually going to be a 9/11 memorial in the place-one that Americans haven’t even bothered with building yet nearly 10 years later.
@kitten: yes i understand where you’re coming from as my feelings about this seem to ebb and flow. my thought process seems to run along these lines… Yes, religious muslim extremists hated enough to think about and carry out such a horrible terrorist assault on innocent people, and an entire country as well…but all muslims are not terrorists and should have the right to practice their religion in peace…however, I don’t think the proper place for their mosque is anywhere near ground zero because of the pain this would cause to so many…yet maybe if we allowed them (do we have a choice anyway?) to build there that would show the world that we are tolerant and not judging an entire religion and people by the actions of some….so that’s how it goes for me, just glad i am not in charge of the decision.
Thanks, Sammyhamm 🙂
@ The Hamm-Did you read my post? I said in the end I support construction of the mosque because I support freedom of religion (or freedom FROM religion in my personal case). I never said all Muslims were the same so please don’t put words in my mouth. I don’t have to like Rauf and I have every right to point out the fact he is an insensitive jerk for building the mosque RIGHT there. I am not a fan of his, nor am I a fan of the Pope or any religious leader for that matter.
@ Statler-no it wouldn’t make a difference because I’m not anti-Muslim. Please people READ my post before you jump all over me.
@Gretchen-I agree. I was thinking that it’ll be decided by NYC in the end and I think that’s the way it should be.
Ugh, opened up a can of worms with that comment. I was simply trying to draw a comparison with something I think is wrong on a personal level, but that I will defend because of its constitutional relevance. I think this post was about JA but at this point I’ve lost track! 🙂
BTW Kitten-LOVE your pic! Looks like my Sammy!
kitten: I know “in the end” you support it purely because of your belief in freedom of religion but the point I’m trying to make is that it isn’t insensitive at all for them to build a mosque nearby. Why is it insensitive? Because some radical Muslims that have nothing to do with them killed thousands of people nearby?
Why is it abhorrent? Rauf might be a bit sketch but he didn’t kill thousands of people nor is he aligned with the people who did.
‘A good example would be the potential construction of a mosque at Ground Zero. Now to me, this is a HUGE F-U to those who died on 9/11 and personally, it completely offends me and I’m disgusted that Rauf would not have enough respect for this country to build it elsewhere.
‘Yes, it is a total asshole move but religious freedom means religious freedom. My personal feelings aside, constitutionally, it is fair.
‘And yes, personally, I find it abhorrent.’
_________________________________________
Guess I didn’t phrase my responses very well- I never meant to come off like I was jumping all over you. Quite the opposite, I’ve enjoyed many of your posts. The above did surprise me, and since I don’t understand it, I’m curious as to why you’d feel this way. Not your official position, but why that reaction?
Re: digressing. Further proof we’re bored with Aniston. I’ve enjoyed several of the digressions on her threads 😉
@SammyHamm-thanks! I knew you were a cat person 🙂
@ TheHamm-Exactly. In the end I support it because it is a matter of religious freedom, not personal opinion. Personally, yes I find it insensitive. Just like I found it insensitive, when visiting Ireland, that St Patrick built a church on the Hill of Tara, which is a sacred Pagan site. It seemed like there were plenty of other places to build a church (which he did), why chose their sacred land? I’m not Pagan, I’m not Catholic, I am not Muslim-I am a humanist. I understand and respect your point, I just disagree that’s all. I drew the paralell with Aniston because so many were offended and outraged by the use of that word. Many argued that the meaning of the word is irrelevant, the basic idea being that if it offends people, then we shouldn’t use it. I am saying that the idea of a mosque on ground zero is offensive (abbhorent may be too strong of a word) to me. It is insensitive in my opinion (emphasis on MY OPINION 🙂 )
but I don’t think that because I find it to be insensitive that they shouldn’t build it.
And I’m certainly not saying you should find it offensive, we can respectfully “agree to disagree” (as my mom says ad nauseum!) I like a spirited debate but I’m not likely to change my mind about this.
EDIT: @ Statler-Ugh sorry about that. This just serves to support the idea that I would SO much rather have these discussions in person! Seems like the internet makes everything so much more difficult 🙂
Anyway, see above 🙂
kitten: I totally see your point and I can totally agree to disagree 🙂 I was also, like statler just curious about why you felt the way you did about the mosque and such.
The internet is a difficult place to have a proper discussion without things being misunderstood. I’m sorry if you felt I was jumping on you, that wasn’t my intention at all. :/
How is it we’re talking about mosques on a post about Jennifer Aniston saying the r-word?
Get a grip, people…and lighten up.
@Jen – I know, right? This post sure got derailed.
@Kaiser – I feel compelled to write a comment only because this is a subject the really bothers me. My sister has cognitive delay, so I am certainly sympathetic to how badly people can be treated for no reason and are incredibly bright and beautiful people. HOWEVER the word retarded to me is as meaningless as a reference toward my sister and anyone with disabilities as are the words idiot, imbecile and moron. I doubt this would have even been noticed if she had said like a moron. But they historically mean the very same thing. I think words have power when we give them power. to say “I feel so retarded” etc or I feel so dumb is the EXACT same thing. So I am just saying I find it extremely hypocritical. To me my sister has a medical condition, it is an impairment. These words are slang and do not apply. And also please remember the intent factor. I am a woman, if a friend calls me bitch sarcastically – no offense taken.. if someone seriously calls me one – there is a level of maliciousness/hatred behind it, therefore I will be offended. Bottom line Jennifer Aniston clearly was not targeting anyone and had no ill intent. Bottom line NO apology necessary.
no apology is being made which should suffice for her supporters.
I use this word all the time for people who should know better but do stupid things (myself included). It means ‘slow or arrested development’ and doesn’t refer to people with genetic or accidental problems. Special Olympics needs to reconsider their understanding of our culture.
this is totally blown out of proportion….i don’t give a shiz and people should stop over-reacting to something that was said without malice
Doesn’t Ms. Aniston have any family members or friends with disabilities/mental illness? Surely she is not that isolated or ignorant. When speaking publicly, everybody should use some caution and good manners. She was completely rude and should apolgize. If not, she has revealed her true character.
Regardless of one’s stance on the word (I’m not a supporter, but moving on), the thing I’m finding interesting is notion of sensitivity and how it is considered to be a sort of milquetoast, fidgeting tendency that is sending us into decline. My question is, if not sensitivity, then what, and I guess, why? Okay, *questions*. Is it a request to return to the older standard practices of relating to historically-maligned groups or underclasses? The further you go back in history, the crueler the communications, so who benefits and why is it better? This isn’t a rhetorical question, but the phrase ‘I know my rights’ usually prefaces a powederkeg.
I’m not a fan of hers–but not for nothing my bro has slight Autism and I wouldn’t consider him “Retarded” For people that are so offended of the word, take a look at yourselves on a count of the first thing you think of when you here the word retarded is a disabled person. It’s considered mentally disabled these days–if your still associating the word with the mentally disabled there’s something wrong with you….
I have a person with Down’s Syndrome in my family and love her with all my heart. But I still think this whole story is ridiculous.
her nipples smell like omlettes and taste like ham and eggs…
I’m sorry but people still think of mentally disabled people when they hear retared? Doesn’t that say more about them then Aniston?
Keep up the good fight, thank you to all who saved Baby Joseph!