If Denise Richards stops talking about her divorce from Charlie Sheen and her rebound relationship with married Richie Sambora, she will drop off the face of the earth, which is why she never, ever shuts her big yap about it. Ever. Now that she has her Ryan Seacrest-produced E! reality show to promote, the familiar can of worms has been reopened for the pages of Redbook- but nobody told Denise that those worms are dead, dried up and forgotten.

Were there periods when you believed Charlie’s and your relationship could work?
Yes. Like with any disintegrating relationship you always have those moments when you forget about the bad. Then, of course, I discovered I was pregnant with Lola.

Was that scary or hopeful?
I was happy because I loved being a mother, but I was also terrified. Deep down, I knew we weren’t going to make it. Charlie was happy, though, and that made me feel a little better. But I still ended up filing for divorce when I was six months pregnant. That was the hardest day of my life.

Was there a sense of relief when you did finally file?
I remember the day. I called my mom crying and I said to her, “I escaped the insanity.” And that’s how I felt, that I had been trapped.

Do you think that there is a false perception out there that you’re a seductress?
Well, of course, those are only parts I’ve played in movies. It’s funny; it’s taken me a long time to look at myself as a business from which I make my money. I know that when I did Playboy magazine five months after I had Sam, I was selling a sexy image. At home, I don’t think of myself as sexy. I scoop up dog poop and clean up my kids’ vomit when they’re sick. I wake up looking disheveled and throw on a pair of sweats while I make their breakfast. I hope to have a husband who thinks that’s sexy, but that’s not the perception people have of me. They see me on a magazine cover stealing someone’s husband or wearing very little clothes in a movie—but that’s just an image. And I’m made my money selling that image for better or worse.

Can you play the wholesome girl next door?
I’ve tried to play that girl. I’ve battled with my agents about that and they say, “People don’t see you as the type of girl who has boyfriend problems.” And even when I say, “But I’ve had those problems,” unfortunately, that’s just the way it is. I’m the bitchy girl who steals husbands. I’m finally getting to a place where that’s okay if that’s my niche.

[From Redbook]

“I’ve tried to play that girl.” Uh, yeah, Denise. We’ve all seen your acting. You couldn’t even get cast to play yourself in a movie of your life, okay?

As if beating that dead horse wasn’t enough, Denise also rehashes the details of her icky romance with Bon Jovi guitarist/drunken driver Richie Sambora.

Is part of your goal with your reality show to show the world your other sides?
This show is a great opportunity for people to really see me for who I am. And if they want to say, “She’s still that bitch that stole someone’s husband,” then so be it. At least they’ll say, “She’s the bitch that stole someone’s husband, but she likes dogs and has three pot-bellied pigs.” At least they will be able to see that I have different layers.

You started dating Richie Sambora a few months after filing for divorce, and were accused of breaking up your friend Heather Locklear’s marriage…
I was no longer friends with Heather months before Richie and I got together. I don’t want to say what caused the split, but she and I weren’t even speaking then.

She likes pot-bellied pigs. Finally, I understand what she saw in Sambora.

Denise’s reality show airs this summer on E!, and the channel is airing commercials for it every 3.5 seconds. I can’t even stand it! How’s a person supposed to enjoy “The Soup” with her obnoxious mug flashing on the screen all the time?

Denise Richards is shown on 4/29/08 out in Malibu, thanks to Splash News.