Here at Celebitchy, we laughed our asses off at Dina Lohan being named a Top Mom by some Long Island housewife association. Apparently, Michael Lohan doesn’t share our sense of humor- in fact, the whole thing has him pissed off and ranting to the media, talking trash about his ex-wife and her mothering skills. Oh yeah, he went there.

Michael fumed, “Are you kidding! Top celebrity mom? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. I guess they forgot to mention how this top super-mom leaves her kids alone at night and even parties in their presence. Just wait until we go back to court.

“She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling ‘Oh, [bleep],’ when she saw the paparazzi,” Michael raged to Page Six.

He also ranted that his ex missed their weekly family therapy appointment in order to attend the award ceremony Tuesday night in Bethpage, LI.

But Dina responded to Michael’s remarks by calling him “infantile.”

“He’s a loose cannon,” she declared. “We speak to a therapist once a week and I’m not required to be there. My kids want me there, so I go. Obviously with our [TV] show and the event, [daughter] Ali and I reschedule.

“I’ve allowed him visitation once a week, so I don’t understand why he’s doing this. He’s jealous that I got the award. He even called the organizers and tried to talk them out of giving it to me.”

[From Page Six]

In typical Dina Lohan fashion, she goes on to say that the last time their rapidly aging starlet daughter Lindsay was in town, she had to hire extra security to keep her father at arm’s length, and that she believes Michael will violate the restraining order she has on him. Notice that she never directly addresses his claims about her bad parenting- instead, she deflects that and paints herself as a victim. You see where Blohan learned that shit? As for Michael, everyone knows he’s just seething with jealousy over the media attention his ex-wife gets. From the accounts I’ve read, his parenting is just as questionable. If ANY of the Lohan kids make it to adulthood without a criminal record, a sex tape, or an addiction of some kind, it will be a miracle.

Note by Celebitchy: Michael Lohan is shown with his girlfriend, who looks a little like his daughter when she was pretty, outside the Waverly Inn on 3/10/08. Thanks to WENN.