Swizz Beatz is funny: “You can’t enjoy love without spreading love”

44291, NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Wednesday September 1 2010. Pregnant Alicia Keys walks hand in hand with her husband Swizz Beats in Tribecca District. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

Here are some new photos of a very pregnant Alicia Keys and her husband Swizz Beatz in New York yesterday. Alicia looks cute – when is she due, I wonder? Probably a few more months to go. Sources say the baby is due in November… sure, I’ll buy that. I get the feeling that Alicia is a smug bitch about being married and knocked up, don’t you? Like she looks at all of her girlfriends and says sh-t like, “I just feel like all of this is such a blessing, I pray that you could feel this way someday.” And her girlfriends are thinking, “This bitch and her f-cked up baby-daddy who has three other babies by other women! Jump-off, please.” But that’s not stopping the whitewash of the circumstances surrounding her relationship with Swizz. There will be no Oprah tell-alls for Mashonda, or Jahna Sebastian. Instead, we get People Magazine crawling up Alicia’s ass:

Alicia Keys and husband Swizz Beatz returned to one of their favorite N.Y.C. spots – Via dei Mille – for a romantic, and healthy, dinner. The expectant singer and her hubby shared a Caprese salad, mixed vegetable plate and sea bass.

“They seemed so in love,” an onlooker says of the two, who held hands off and on during dinner. Says the onlooker: “There was not a moment of silence between the two.”

[From People Magazine]

Yeah, that Alicia can talk anybody’s ear off. I guess that’s what they were saying. Speaking of, apparently Swizz did an interview with MTV UK a few days ago, and he talked about his new marriage and everything:

“It’s a blessing,” Swizz told MTV.com. “I look at my relationship with my wife as a union that’s just connected… spiritually. Love is a word that’s powerful but the feeling is even stronger. To identify that feeling is something that’s amazing because it doesn’t only come from your partner. It comes from your love for music, your love for people, your love for a lot of things, and I think that once you identify the feeling of love, you’ll be a better person. I’m a better man. I think that having love in your life, it just has that effect. Because then you spread love. You can’t enjoy love without spreading love.”

[Swizz’s comments, via The Daily Mail]

Jesus Christ. I would shoot myself if I had to live with that. Also, I get the feeling that “spreading love” is what Swizz thinks he was doing with Mashonda and Jahna. Spreading his seed, aka “the love.” Gross.

44291, NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Wednesday September 1 2010. Pregnant Alicia Keys walks hand in hand with her husband Swizz Beats in Tribecca District. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

44291, NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Wednesday September 1 2010. Pregnant Alicia Keys walks hand in hand with her husband Swizz Beats in Tribecca District. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

44291, NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Wednesday September 1 2010. Pregnant Alicia Keys walks hand in hand with her husband Swizz Beats in Tribecca District. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

44291, NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Wednesday September 1 2010. Pregnant Alicia Keys walks hand in hand with her husband Swizz Beats in Tribecca District. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

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40 Responses to “Swizz Beatz is funny: “You can’t enjoy love without spreading love””

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  1. Lisa says:

    She has legs of an elephant….

  2. Jen says:

    He just looks so gross.

  3. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    I don’t think he meant spreading love as in sharing his seed and sleeping with other women. I think what Swizz means is that when your in love and your happy you feel…really good. You want to spread your happy, lovely dovey feeling with everyone. Your happy, your nicer to people. I think thats what he means.

    They do look very happy together. I wish them all the best.

  4. mln says:

    the key is to make sure you steal a man from someone who isn’t famous (even better if she is of color) then no one will give a hoot.

  5. Justine says:

    Just wait your turn homewrecker, he’ll be spreading that love with someone else soon.

  6. bizzy says:

    i just … ok, my taste in men is ATROCIOUS (cough!sean bean), but i do not get the headlong stampede to conceive by these losers.

    your love for a lot of things

    ‘things’ being vaginas, presumably.

  7. Bored@Work says:

    He’s and a$$ and she is a pretty homewrecker. I feel for those women who he has left in the dust to start his new life as if nothing else matters.

    I have no respect for Alicia Keys. None for Swizz Cheatz.

  8. Green Is Good says:

    He’ll be spreading the love to some other piece in 6 months.

  9. Praise St. Angie! says:

    he is fug.

    regarding the whole “not a moment of silence” thing…

    I think it says more about a couple’s comfort level with each other if they ARE able to be together without filling every moment with conversation.

  10. whitedaisy says:

    She should not wear footwear that erases her ankles, it gives her some serious cankles and then some.
    When you man-steal you must be camera ready at all times.

  11. Kaiser says:

    Praise – *applause* I like sitting quietly and eating as well. I like to concentrate on my food.

  12. Kitten says:

    “I think it says more about a couple’s comfort level with each other if they ARE able to be together without filling every moment with conversation.”
    ________________________________________

    Definitely. Comfortable silence is such a rare and special thing.

  13. Missfit says:

    As for her legs, she’s pregnant for crying out loud and it’s summer time and it’s normal to retain lots of water weight and get swollen during the summer heat and what not, geeze. I think she looks cute, cause usually some people get really huge and she seems just right and everyone is different, some get swollen water weight, some don’t. Her shoes are ugly though. As for him? Uggh, that is not the right comment for him to make right now.

  14. Milan says:

    I hope the child inherits Swizz nose. Maybe that’s too mean, s/he is innocent after all.

  15. Stronzilla says:

    He used the word love 9 times.
    Swizz Beatz = Jizz Cheatz.

  16. Isa says:

    I agree that she shouldn’t wear shoes that cut off her ankles. I follow the same rule.
    I also think that people should wear shorts past the spot where their inner thigh fat starts rubbing together.

    And I hear y’all about the food. My husband and I have been together for five and a half years. We will be chatting away but when the food comes we get silent–too busy stuffing our mouths.

    “When you man-steal you must be camera ready at all times” I LOVE that whitedaisy! Buahahahaha.

  17. Fluffy Kitten Tail says:

    Her legs have always been huge. I am sure the pregancy has added to their size, but Alicia has never had pretty legs.

  18. Heaven-bound says:

    Her legs are just gross.. water retention or not, yuck!!

  19. Ron says:

    Everytime I see a pic of these two I don’t get him. He’s um… well…. not attractive at all. I understand that intelligence and funny etc make up for pretty but I am guessing he has a giant pu**y squealing d**k…spreading the “love”.

  20. D says:

    I’ve said it before…he looks like Squidward.

    To borrow a bit from Stronzilla, I’m going to start calling him Squidward Jizz Cheatz

  21. Jess says:

    If Big Bird and Gonzo from the Muppets had a baby- it would look like Swizz Cheatz. Alicia Keys will end up on Oprah* crying in a few years.

    *since we all know that we haven’t heard the last of Oprah.

  22. Leticia says:

    @Whitedaisy, hilarious comment!!

    She and Katy Holmes look better when they cover their legs.

    If I were Mashonda, I would at least get satisfaction out of the condition of Alicia Keyes legs, which always look like this, even when she is not pregnant.

  23. DetRiotgirl says:

    Lol@whitedaisy! It’s true too.

  24. Sans says:

    Do we even know for sure he has a third. From the supposed third baby momma she gushed about these two. Anyway I’m over it’s done, but they both need to be quite. Swizz is a chatty cathy.

  25. ahoymatey says:

    ugh, those shoes! i have never worn sandals & thought “damn, my ankles are cold. i wish they were covered up”

  26. lrm says:

    She looks ridiculous!
    I’m all for se*xy and pregnant, but dress to enhance your figure, not just for a statement…Not everyone is cut out to wear that dress, and even fewer while pregnant!
    Then again, she always seems to dress semi-trashy, and her figure is fuller, especially lower half-so she could class it up by dressing for her figure.

    I used to like her b/c her voice and music are beautiful-but after all this-blah. blah. and more blah.
    what a joke.

  27. Crash2GO2 says:

    Those ankle sandals were so not a good idea. Does she not own a full length mirror? Of course it doesn’t help that she is walking next to a man with legs like twigs.

    LOL @ Bizzy’s post.

  28. RHONYC says:

    they look like siblings.

    ew.

  29. K-Love says:

    I’m reading the body language and I am not seeing a lot. She is holding on too him like an old woman being escorted across the street. No smiles in any of the pictures. The words he tried to use in expressing his love were strange at best. He talked about things he loved, but not her. I still believe she will regret getting married to him as a person. The only good thing to come of this union will be the child, which is always a blessing. The whole thing is wrong on so many levels and they have their heads in the sand if they believe anything different. This will not end well. Mark my words. It may take some time because they have to prove everyone wrong. But in the end it will not end well…..

  30. K.at says:

    all i can say is chicken legs

  31. Jeri says:

    So agree Kaiser.
    “You can’t enjoy love without spreading love.”

    Just an excuse to screw around. How smug will Alicia be then.

  32. KellyBrynn says:

    swizz beats look like his legs are skin and bones, therefore when you’ve got a woman W-O-M-A-N standing next to that, of course she’s going to look bigger. that being said, those FUG ASS SHOES don’t do ANYONE any favors. how is it that we scrutinize people for having cankles and then some designer makes shoes that give you cankles. those shoes and ponchos should have never been introduced to fashion. EVER.

  33. chachinscoby lawrence says:

    i have always been a fun of keys not a fun of sweez i think keys look great with her preg but not all woman look like that i hope it will be a baby girl just like her mom. love you keys fuck all who say shits about you keys i wonder how they look.

  34. canadianchick says:

    Just few more inches needed on those shorts. I agree he will spreading more love elsewhere soon.

  35. a says:

    longer shorts please.
    yes, both of them.

  36. Michelle says:

    mrs cheats..she does no favours for the cause of fuller figured women..unlike pple like JLo. Has she not learnt that shorts do nuthing for her. Who remembers that unfortunate short jumpsuit..lol. Rhino legs are rly not sexy. The only solution is wide leg pants.

  37. Mouse says:

    “Squidward Jizz Cheatz”….<3 it! LOL

  38. parisfab35 says:

    OMG, Alicia and Swizz Beatz is a cute couple, I would vote them “Best Couple of the Year”. Thier relationship will be forever! DUECES!

  39. aenflex says:

    Ole girl needs to skip the daisy dukes. She looks worse than Snooki.

  40. jemshoes says:

    UGH, this guy reeks of insincerity and thinly-veiled misogynism.