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This story comes via The National Enquirer’s gossip guy, Mike Walker, the infamous “goat-footed, wheezy old queen” (trademark: Alec Baldwin). Walker has some good gossip sometimes, but lately there’s been a hell of a lot of old news and gossip tidbits that are discredited before the Enquirer even went to press. Anyway, I want to believe this story from this week’s column – allegedly, John Mayer lost his cell phone. And apparently, his cell phone held photos and videos of his exes. Please, Jesus. Let it be.
John Mayer is sweating bullets – he’s suddenly lost his cell phone! Worse, reports My Spy, Mayer’s telling pals: “OMFG! There are things on that phone that could get me – and some my famous friends – in serious trouble!”
It’s not just a matter of some stranger accessing his VIP contacts and prank-calling A-List pals for Mayer, who has made no bones about his skanky-panky with rich and famous females.
Revealed a close friend: “He told me his cell contains personal photos – and videos – of some of the famous women he’s dated.”
Insiders say that when John realized his cell was missing during a New York trip, he desperately backtracked everywhere he’d been – nightclubs, eateries, limos, etc – but came up zippo. So… will The Sexophone surface in evil hands?
My Spy: “John’s just frantic over the missing phone. He hopes it’s lying on the bottom of the Hudson River!”
[From The National Enquirer, print edition]
DAMN. No mention of anything truly juicy, like specific women and positions and levels of douchery. Also, no mention of Mayer-on-dude action. You know that if he has videos of ladies, he’s probably got videos of dudes too. My guess? John Mayer lost his phone at the “spa” where he was meeting the male lover he shares with John Travolta. F-ck, now I have this video playing in my head of Travolta and lithe young man frolicking on each other while Mayer films them. GROSS.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Gross, John Mayer
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29 Responses to “Enquirer: John Mayer loses cell phone with sexy pics and videos of his exes”
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He is scared because it will show him with another guy!
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Jesus, he makes guitar playing fug. That takes serious skill since I am usually all over anybody who so much as picks up a guitar.
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Does John swing both ways? I thought he was just into vadge.
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and I believe in Santa
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ohgod ohgod looking at his face in the top picture makes my skin crawl. and given the level of douchery that i find positively sexually attractive, that is really saying something.
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Always the worst pics of him. LOL Put that video in my head, it sounds hawt. I just love how the writer says “skanky-panky.” I love having new words to use, its exciting. I also don’t think there is much water to this NE story.
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Do you have any pictures where he makes normal expressions? Whenever I see a posted picture of him here he looks like a troll, I actually forgot what he looks like normally.
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Google the a photo and he’s not a 23 year old starlet. Losing phones….please. Watched the live stream of Mayer in Red Rocks…. great show.
Theword douche is very 04′…. find a new word people. Put a cute of john up there.
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he would, so people will post the photos and he can look manly/straight.
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As long as John Mayer is famous, the word ‘douche’ will live!
Love the photos. Please, please continue to post only douchey pictures of JM. Let me guess- you weren’t searching all morning for those, were you?
Didn’t think so!
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How much do you want to bet he never really lost, it but the photos will turn up anyway…desperately trying to stay relevant.
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Mayer would look so way majorly better with dreads!
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Stay relevant? He ranked #2 behind U2 for ticket sales. If you spent time on more than gossip sites you’d know. Try genuine entertainment news sites. He looks cute in the last two shots. You’d act like a groupie if he said something to you, otherwise you wouldn’t comment.
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Why would it be bad exactly for him to be with another guy?
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He’s got granny curls. Time to cut it short.
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@aenflex: Why would it be bad exactly for him to be with another guy?
because it would make teh gays look bad.
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“the sexophone”?
i wouldn’t put it past this douchenugget to deliberately “lose” his phone (after editing its contents a bit)
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@Sans: seeing as how you don’t know me personally it’s that amusing you think I’d act like a groupie if JM ever spoke to me.I don’t happen to like him and that’s my opinion ,which I am entitled to have. You seem to like him, yay for you.
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Mayer’s travolta’s bottom? Now there’s a rumor I can get behind. ahem.
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BWAH! that bottom photo is awesome. awesomely bad, i mean. yay!
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Douche.
He reminds me of an aging frat boy. Let this be a lesson to anyone who has a fling…Don’t let him photograph or video tape you because it can come back and haunt you in the future.
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Great head of hair and he can fill the venues. Not appealing to me but loads would have him.
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I hope not. Poor women. They will be so humiliated if that crap really does come out. I mean, sure it is stupid to let someone tape you during sexy time, or sending nude photos of yourself, or whatever, but still. These days—with the internet—a person can’t make a mistake, learn from it, and move on.
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Lilred … it’s funny how you assumed that comment was totally for you. Unless he’s being linked to some bimbo why comment? JM is boring that’s why he doesn’t get hits. Aging frat boy. He looks 25 sometimes 20. He has a babyface. He’s there performing for a load of people, cause a great talent and continues to work with legends.
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As MK would say, Escandalo!
If this is true, I’d believe that he really didn’t lose it but would purposefully leak some of the compromising pics/vids of his ‘famous female friends’ and claim someone else (the mysterious and gleeful thief) did it.
John’s gotta find a way to get back into the public eye; he’s been gone for a while now since DukeDickgate.
Watch out Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Taylor Swift and Jessica Simpson!
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UGH. Really can’t stand this guy – to the point where I can’t even listen to his music!
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Maybe he’s trying to 1 up Spedi with his own sex tapes. Lol, why does every celeb have a sex tape?
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Has anyone heard the theory that the face you make while playing guitar is also your orgasm face?
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This makes me glad I’m married and when my husband wants to see naked pictures, he looks at online porn like a regular person.
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