Paris Hilton was on The Late Show last night for the first time since David Letterman gave her a hard time about her jail experience. Letterman really grilled her about her 45 day jail stint during her last appearance in October, 2007 and she dealt with it pretty well but you could tell that the extensive questioning bothered her. She got a little misty-eyed and she told him to move on in the conversation several times. This time Dave wasn’t any easier on Paris and openly mocked her, her upcoming reality show and the latest products she’s hocking. She remained part oblivious and part Paris the saleswoman and laughed and smiled through it all.

On her reality show
Paris said she will be staying in the house with the contestants on her “Paris Hilton’s my new best friend” MTV reality show, and Dave said “you’re going to be staying in the house with these common people for six week?” and she answered “I’m excited.”

Dave asked “You don’t actually believe that the person who wins will be your best friend, do you?” and she said that Nicole Richie has been her best friend since they were two, so she’s her number one best friend, but that she’s looking forward to meeting new people.

Dave joked “I envision…. the show has wrapped, you have a 20 minute party, you hop in the limo and bang you’re gone.”

“No, I will be friends with them.”

On wanting to be Nicole Richie’s sister in law
Dave asked Paris if she would like a baby like Nicole Richie and she said “definitely” that she wanted a family.

Dave said he heard that the father of Nicole’s baby is the brother of Paris’ boyfriend and she said “they’re twins… we’re like sisters and they’re twins so it works out well.”

Dave asked “Can you imagine if everyone got married and had kids and this were a family and stuff, you two would be sister in laws. Do you talk about that?”

“Yeah we do talk about it.” Then Paris launched into her Benji mantra: “I’m so happy, I’m so in love, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life…” [Dave interrupts]

On how she met Benji
“We’ve actually been friends for over six years now and then when [Nicole] had Harlow I started going over to the house and… we just got a little crush on each other and totally fell in love.”

Dave showed a picture of Benji singing with his mouth open and he was wearing a vest but Dave joked that he liked his jacket, which was a reference to his sleeve-like tattoos.

He said “I don’t know.. I’m happy for you, but I don’t know. Does this thing have legs?”

Paris said, “we’re so happy. I know I want to be with him forever.”

They showed Benji backstage in the green room wearing a black fedora and sunglasses. He waved at the camera.

On her champagne in a can
Dave made fun of Paris’ Proseco in a can, which isn’t available in the US yet, but is all over Germany, and when Paris said it was “sexy” he said “sexy, champagne in a can… a quart of bud in a paper bag is sexy too.” Dave shook it up and tried to get it to explode but it only fizzed. He tried again and it spurted a little but didn’t really pop like he wanted it to. The champagne was as impervious as Paris.

On her hair extension line
After the break she showed her Clipin’ Go, which is at Sally’s beauty. He asked if it was real hair, and she said that was microfiber, but they also do the real extensions. He asked “is it expensive?” and she said “No, it’s only $79” and Dave sputtered and faked like that was a fortune. He said “how many cans of champagne do you have to drink before you buy this?”

Then a big burly guy came out from the back wearing the black version and to Paris’ credit it looked like a real mullet.

On her dog clothing line
Letterman showed some of Paris’ dog clothes. She said “I do a line with Little Lilly,” and Dave quipped “Ladies and gentlemen, and you wonder why the rest of the world hates us. There’s your answer right there.” The dog outfit Dave showed was actually the same one that Christina Ricci’s dog was wearing in a photo shown on the Jimmy Kimmel show on Wednesday. It had a faux shirt collar with lipstick on it.

Dave asked “how much is this?” She answered “like $40.”

Paris said she’ll be going on tour with her boyfriend this summer, and Dave asked “forever? You think this is forever?” in a reference to what she said about Benji earlier. She said “He is the most loyal, honest incredible person in the world and I feel just blessed to have found him. He’s changed my life.”

Say what you will about Paris but she really is good at slapping her name on cheap crap and selling it, and she sure can take a beating.

Here are the videos:

Paris Hilton on the Late Show, 5/8/08, Part 1

Paris Hilton on the Late Show, 5/8/08, Part 2

Paris Hilton is shown outside The Late Show yesterday, thanks to WENN. It looks like she swiped Mariah Carey’s wedding ring.