Meh. That’s all I feel about In Touch Weekly’s cover story this week. ITW has done so many Kardashian kovers that I’m now totally over it, and I generally enjoy a Kardashian story. Yes, they’re dumb, and yes, they are insanely easy to cover. We all try to pretend we aren’t paying attention, but we all have opinions. Anyway, this week’s cover story is “Scott tells all.” Apparently, the whole Scott-Disick-is-an-alcoholic-and-Kourtney-is-finally-leaving-him plot line didn’t get everybody enough attention, so the new story is this: Scott hates Kris Jenner (true story), and he plans to sell the Kardashians out in a tell-all book, then launch his own reality show in which he will be the star, and it will feature him being a playboy. My guess for the name of the show? “Date Rape… with Scott Disick”.

Scott Disick used to make a point of smiling for the cameras at public events, but as a miserable-looking Scott walked the red carpet at Taste of Beverly Hills with his girlfriend, Kourtney Kardashian, it was clear that those days are long gone.

“There was a lot of tension, and Scott looked mad. At one point, Kourtney’s mom, Kris, snarled at Scott to smile,” says a witness.

For the Kardashians, appearances are everything — and in this case, an insider says, appearances didn’t lie. Fed up with the Kardashian clan — especially Kris — Scott has been mulling a lucrative offer to write a scathing tell-all about the family.

“He has vowed not to sell out Kourtney personally, but he doesn’t mind talking about the rest of the family,” the insider shares, adding that these days, “he really can’t stand to be in the same room with Kris.”

Desperate to be free of Kourtney’s mom’s “controlling” ways but eager to stay in the limelight, Scott is thinking that writing a tell-all could solve all of his problems.

“He wants to break away from the Kardashian brand and do his own thing,” the insider explains.

Scott is convinced that the tell-all will net him a major paycheck — but the book isn’t the only weapon in his strike-it-rich arsenal. Sick and tired of the Kardashian clan, Scott thinks he’s famous enough to break free of them.

“He now wants to do his own TV show,” says an insider, adding that Scott has always believed his wild party boy lifestyle would play great on the small screen.

[From In Touch Weekly]

I have a great idea for another tell-all from Scott: the interview he does when he finds out that he’s not Mason-Dixon’s father! He could call the book, “How I Got Played By Premo Stallone.” Seriously, reality show producers… don’t ever give Scott his own show. The guy is a total creep and his eyes are like Rohypnol for the soul.

Cover courtesy of In Touch Weekly.