I get that Julia Roberts is a “dirty hippie”. She’s a Hindu, you know. She has the beads and everything. In my mind she smells like Patchouli, day-old foundation and butterscotch. Of course I know that Julia has never been stylish – generally, she doesn’t seem to give a sh-t about being a fashionista, or using the red carpet to her advantage. I kind of admire that, because it makes me think that Julia is like, “People will come to see the movie because of me, not because of what I wear to the premiere.” So, with that in mind, I present to you Julia’s latest outfit on the promotional tour for Eat, Pray, Love.

Now – I already know that some of you are going to be like “Oh, that outfit is cute, you’re a dumb whore, Kaiser.” True. But think about this – this is Julia in Rome, one of the major cities featured in Eat, Pray, Love. There are Eat, Pray, Love tours full of Julia-loving women coming through the city right now, waiting in line anxiously for their gelato. This isn’t just film promotion – it’s the motherload of cross-promotion. You’d think that Julia would really bring it, wouldn’t you? Even if she was just classing the sh-t up with a really gorgeous suit. But no, instead we get Julia in leggings, dominatrix sandals and a glorified muumuu, with a THAT’S SO TACKY belt. Minus the shoes, this is what you wear lounging around the house, or to pick up your groceries. The muumuu’s pattern is disturbing too – it looks really, really cheap. And it’s like a faux crocodile print too, right?

I will give Julia one thing though – her makeup does look really good here. The hair? Not so much. She needs to stop parting it down the middle. It makes her face longer and (more) horsey. But, hey, she’s standing next to Javier Bardem and I’m not, so what the f-ck do I know?

Julia in Rome on Sept. 16, 2010. Credit: WENN.