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One good thing seems to have come out of the Dina Lohan school of parenting: the entire world is now aware of exactly why it’s a bad idea to try to be your kid’s friend instead of their parent. Very pregnant Jessica Alba gave an interview to People magazine in which she talked about the downsides of pregnancy, and what kind of mom she plans on being.
Now I never really saw Jessica Alba as the couchie-coo pushover type filled with sweetness and light, or someone who would really care about getting anyone’s approval of her parenting skills. Certainly not her own kid’s. And it turns out I’m right, because Jessica says she won’t be her daughter’s friend.
Until Jessica Alba and fiancé Cash Warren’s baby girl arrives this summer, the pregnant actress is stopping to smell the roses – though she’s aware of the serious challenges she’ll soon face.
“At the end of the day I am so tired I can’t function or speak and my eyes glaze over,” Alba, 27, tells Fit Pregnancy magazine for its June/July issue, “but this pregnancy has seriously mellowed me out, which is nice. I’ve been going, going, going for so long, it feels nice not to take things so seriously.”
And though she finds herself craving citrus products during her pregnancy, when it comes to what she’ll allow as a mother, she says: “I don’t want to be my child’s best friend; I want to be a mom. But I do want my child to come to me when they have problems and need to talk, so it’s going to be about treading that line.”
[From People]
Thank you, Dina Lohan. Okay to be fair, Jessica Alba never credits/blames Dina for her parenting philosophy, but I’m pretty sure there’s a direct correlation. Most people seem to know that they shouldn’t be their kid’s friend, but the desire for approval (or in Lohan’s case, the desire to act like a moron/reclaim her lost youth/act like a moron) sometimes got in the way.
But now there’s this famous wreck – Lindsay Lohan – that we can all look to as a guide for how we don’t want our kids to be. Anytime anyone has a parenting decision, they can ask themselves, “What would Dina Lohan do?” And then do the exact opposite. As long as Jessica Alba sticks with that, she’ll be a pretty good parent.
Here’s Jessica Alba leaving Champagne restaurant after picking up some take-out food on April 10th. Images thanks to WENN.
Written by JayBird
Posted in Babies, Dina Lohan, Jessica Alba, Kids, Pregnant
10 Responses to “Jessica Alba says she doesn’t plan on being her kid’s best friend”
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At least she recognizes that there’s a balance. My mother was always my friend, but I never doubted who was the parent.
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what I´ve learned from my mother is…
be a mother first, friend later!and that will come (AND ONLY)with the years, with maturity…but while raising me she was very firm and strict, and we had our issues, MANY of ´em!!!!But all that turned out for the better!!!And now I am just starting to see that…
It´s important to set boundries and its important for a child to understand their own limitations…and that for eveything that you do, good or bad, there will be consequences!!!Or else they grow up thinking theres NONE!
And the world out there doesn´t work quite like that and we all know that!!! Our relationship (me & my mother)today is totally different than it was 10 years ago…we have so much more in common and MUCH more respect for each other as individuals…and the love that have always been there just gets BIGGER and BIGGER,even tho is hard to believe that can get any bigger, but it always does! -
It’s refereshing to see someone in the public eye who isn’t afraid to say that they’re putting their job as a mom ahead of being their child’s friend.
@Larissa - I couldn’t agree more or said it better myself.
My mom was also pretty strict with me growing up and said countless times that she loved me but she wasn’t here to be my best friend. Since I’ve moved on my own we’ve gotten much closer - more like friends. And since I had kids our bond is even stronger.
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See, my mother and I never had that tension, even when I was a teenager, because I knew that she was both my friend and my mother from the very beginning. There are lots of ways to raise good kids and have good relationships with them, depending on the personalities and needs involved.
Also, while it’s good to hear a celebrity say this, it’s also true that lots of people have theories about how they’re going to parent–right up until they become parents. Here’s hoping Jessica Alba sticks to this one, and can carry it out well.
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ugh - i can’t stand these “my kids and i are best friends” type of parents. newsflash: the only reason teenagers are “buddies” with their parents is so they can get away with more crap. children need a parent while growing up, they have enough friends. when kids are out of college and are adults themselves, then they can be friends with their parents. like my sisters and me with our mom. now she is our friend and we sometimes include her in girls’ nights out, etc, but when we were growing up she was the long arm of the law and we respected that, even if we didn’t like her for it at the time. our dad was a dad then and now - with 5 girls and no sons he pretty much sat at the door with a loaded shotgun!
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I agree with Larrisa. My mother gave me the same advice.
Be a parent first and foremost. They can get friends in school and in the neighbourhood.
When I left home and had a child of my own I would say now that my relationship with my Mother is more friendship than mother daughter but when I was younger, she was definately Mum all the way. -
She probably decided to have the kid cause it’s trendy now for celebs around her age to have one. Anyway…NEXT!
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@ Kate, you took the words right out of my mouth. I don’t have a need for a 12 yr old friend, but I am a parent of a 12 yr old. My child has her own friends, what she needs from me is unconditional love, disciplne (sp?), boundaries, a shoulder to cry on if needed, etc., which she will not get from her friends. We can be friends when she grows up, parenting first, friends later.
My child and I have a great relationship, we talk, laugh, play and have good times together so you can have a great relationship with your child without trying to be their friend.
This my opinion, and what works for me. Everyone is different and does things different.
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“My child and I have a great relationship, we talk, laugh, play and have good times together so you can have a great relationship with your child without trying to be their friend.
This my opinion, and what works for me. Everyone is different and does things different. ”
DivaStar, I definitely agree with that last paragraph. But if the one preceding it is true, how are you not her friend as well as her mother? Your friendship with her is different than with other people, of course, but how is it so different that it isn’t even friendship?
Enonymouse:
KateNonymous:
Larissa:
kate:
Rianna:
paris herpes:
DivaStar:
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Parents can be parents and share a friendship with their children at the same time, it is a way of sharing a mutual respect with each other.
Dina Lohan’s parenting problems may not be because she is friends with her daughter but it is because she likes to act her daughter’s age, there is a difference. Good parenting and friendship do in fact go hand in hand, more so when the child is older. Some parents just do not know how to balance that though. Being a strict parent and having all this rules does not always equal being a good parent.
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