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Before I get to Star Magazine’s “Zomg, Xenu broke them up!” cover, I’d just like to begin with this little story from Life & Style – according to eyewitnesses, Katie Holmes let Suri walk into Toronto’s Sephora and “picked out more than $1300 worth of products.” Which Katie then bought for her. Do you believe that? I do. What I don’t believe is that Suri understood what she was getting. She probably just picked out the prettiest bottles and Katie just bought everything like a zombie.
Okay, now for Star’s story. Honestly, this seems like a filler – like Star didn’t know that there was going to be three big breakups this week, so that just went with a standby TomKat story. The basic gist is that Tom and Katie are fighting about babies and renegotiating their marriage contract and face-time with Xenu.
Katie ran off the set of her new movie, after getting a “distressing phone call” from Tom’s sister. We don’t know what the call was about, however.
Katie visited Tom in Prague on the set of the new Mission Impossible, and wanted to spend a relaxing night in the hotel, but Tom insisted they go to dinner with some Scientology “big wigs.” They slept in separate rooms that night. DUN DUN DUN.
They had another fight later, about her not wanting to try and have a second baby. Tom accused Katie of reneging on her marriage contract. Katie reminded Tom that he’d promised her a movie deal. He snapped that her acting wasn’t good enough! Then she stormed off and walked the streets of Prague alone. She’s unhappy, but she doesn’t want to do anything rash — she’s afraid Tom will somehow end up with custody of Suri.
[From Star via Jezebel]
Wouldn’t you love to hear that fight? Tom: “You need to have another baby. We shall prepare the Xenu incubator.” Katie: “I don’t wanna. I wanna do a movie! You said you would make me a star!” Tom: “You’re not good enough, hon. Now spread your legs while I go get the baster so we can make another little Travolta/Hubbard spawn.” Katie: “What should I wear?” Tom: “As much as possible, please.”
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise
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49 Responses to “Katie Holmes won’t have another baby because Tom hasn’t made her a star”
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That flowered thing is worse than Zach Galifianakis in his swimsuit.
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Tom/Xenu seems to suck the life out of his human but Stepford wives…Nicole is much happier now that Tom is out of her life. Run from Xenu, Katie!
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O what misery.
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I hate that stupid half/side smile
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It’s amazing to me that she always manages to pick the least flattering clothes. Or that Suri picks them anyway. WTF is that flowery thing?
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please it’s not that he hasn’t made her a big star. it’s she can’t act her way out of a paper bag to save her life. why doesn’t Katie no talent Holmes just shut up and have another child. Patircia Neal had two daughters by the time she was Katie’s age and would have one of them pass away and have 3 more in the next 8 years of course her only son was also left braindamaged by an accident as a baby
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Man, Katie CANNOT dress to save her life. She looks ridiculous.
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NOPE!!! I will NOT comment on Suri and Sephora–not today!!
A baby would mean more publicity for Tom’s already failed movie..
do we really need another MI?? or to see his bare tucked in crooked torso wearing LIFTS?? uh, hell no.
Katie, have the kid, leave Suri with him and flee while pregnant! LOL
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Wow. That dress is horrible.
Katie, get out and DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER CHILD. You would then have 2 children bossing your around.
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Tom hasnt made her a star? Isnt that up to her and her own talent? I dont know what kind of an arrangement she has with him and Xenu but I have NO sympathy for her.
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Please i still don’t beleive Suri’s Tom, that’s why i beleive Katie won’t have another child from her husband.
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This woman is pathetic. She’s awfully smug for someone who’s married to a gay midget. I wonder if it ever occurred to her to take that bag of Sephora product to a woman’s shelter and introduce Suri to the concept of sharing.
And I still hate that God awful name: “Suri”. Always makes me think of the song “with the fringe on top”.
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This union has always creeped me out.
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she looks really depressed on the cover photo! she needs some of that icecream
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… But he has landed her on the cover of Star plenty of times. I do believe a lot of this though. I can imagine him making her go to dinners when she would rather chill, and I bet she does worry he will take control of their daughter. Look at the children he as with Nicole Kidman. It seems he must’ve brainwashed them and now they have very little to do with her. I am surprised Nicole let them go so easily but who knows what or whom she was up against during their divorce.
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That hideous dress and that smug smirk are horribly at odds with each other. If any of y’all know why this girl is branded as a FASHION GIRL, then fill me in because I’m not getting the joke.
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heh, if Katie had not married Tom Cruise, she might’ve been in The Dark Knight instead of Maggie Gyllenhaal.
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“They slept in separate rooms that night.”
and how is that different from EVERY OTHER NIGHT?
and Tom TRIED to make her a star…how do you think she got the Batman-franchise gig? which she was then fired from, due to her SUCKY acting.
ugh…I want to feel sorry for her, but I can’t. she knew what she was getting herself into. effectively sold her soul for fame and fortune.
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Star says Tom&Kate are separating/Suri is a brat/Kate is hysterical: that’s surely true, let’s comment on that! Star says Brandegelina are separating/their kids are brats/Angelina is hysterical: what a bunch of lying haters. How dare they!
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I think Katie and January Jones should have a glum-off. Who would win?!?
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Katie, don’t be glib. Tom is runnin’ that sh*t so just be a good girl and comply with his wishes like a good lil’ Stepford Wife.
*be-bo-bop*
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OMG!! Suri WALKED? on her own?
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Jesus H, look at that giant cup of ice cream that Suri has. That’s, like, the biggest cup Baskin Robbins has. No kid needs that much ice cream. She probably couldn’t even finish it. That kinda pisses me off!
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I hate the ugly flower dress. But in the top picture her hair and make up look pretty. She looks healthy at least. I don’t get this story because Katie has been really busy working on movies for TV and theaters a lot lately. It’s not Tom’s fault she’s not a big star – it’s her fault for bad acting. She should get some kind of award for acting like Tom’s “happy” wife… now that’s GREAT acting..
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@fabgrrl
HAHAHAHHAHAHA… I was thinking something like that, but you put it soo much better
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Does she have a facialis or something?!
I want to know what is wrong with the right side of her face because it is pretty obvious that there is something very wrong with her fashion sense!
P.S. Somewhere Nik is laughing her ars off…
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i hate that smile too….she used to look happy – now all she ever does is smile like that….looks like she had a mini-stroke or something that freezes one side of her face, how else could she hold that same smile for 5 years?
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Tom hasn’t made her a star ? I didn’t know Tom runs a star making factory on the side. He’d be lucky if he kept his own hat on.
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According to Gawker only 9% of Star Magazine Covers have been true in the last 2 years, the lowest of any US tab.
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I didn’t know that Laura Ashley did a hooker line. Quite fetching for a gal looking for Johns on Hollywood Blvd in 1895.
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#29 (sorry can’t read your name)
I am surprised they actually got 9% correct, as far as I could tell the only mags that were more full of s*it were The Weekly World News and the ‘Letters to the Editor’ section in Penthouse.
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I stopped taking these Tom / Katie stories seriously a long time ago. The ONLY thing we can confirm in this relationship is:
1) They belong to a crazy ass cult
2) Tom is weird and manic
3) Katie is fug and brainless
4) Suri likes to be carried
Other than that, it’s pretty much a closed book. I honestly don’t believe the gay rumors with Tom, either. If anything, he was purported to be a homophobe back in his youth. Might be something to the Travolta gay rumors, though.
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I would say that Tom did make her a star. Making her an actress is a different issue.
And that floral dress is really bad. I didn’t like the first picture, but then it got worse. But that’s par for the course.
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That dress hurts my feelings.
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I wonder if he wears his high heels in bed.
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Is she wearing one of Suri’s dresses?
She’s not a star because she’s a lousy actress. Period.
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Sorry to ask such stupid question, but what is Xenu?
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She knew Tom didn’t think much of her acting talent when they hooked up. Didn’t they say they met while Tom interviewed her to be his girlfriend, I mean, for a role in Mission Impossible III? She never got a role in that movie. So clearly Tom was not impressed with her “acting” talents. And I have to say, neither am I. I’m just sorry she had plastic surgery to please him for nothing. She looked better before.
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and Tom is the all powerful Oz afterall…
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Is she wearing that flowery thing for a remake of The Sound Of Music?
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They are creating a monster; that Suri is going to be one crazy ass adult.
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I think she’s an idiot and don’t like her, but I have to feel a little sorry for her. Nobody should have to be married to him.
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Maybe she saw what he looks like without his shirt, and said “no thank you.”
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She has Bells Palsy. That’s why she smiles like that. She can’t help it.
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Hard decision! Tom OR another kid OR career? The career route is lame – bad actress already, we all know this! Another kid? – Might calm her focus on Suri. Means more prolonged time with Tom. I would Run! Hey,the girl chose this. Dumb workings to be a star – Backfired Bitch!!!
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Who makes these random fashion “things?” Him/Her/Suri? Just stop with the outings and go private.
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Bells Palsy freezes an entire side of your face, making your eyelids not close on the affected eye. She doesn’t have that.
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Very strange when the story about her running off set in LA never produced a follow-up story. You would have thought a major emergency had happened but nothing in the news. Not another word. Strange. Suri will be called Surly when she gets older. She will be a difficult one to please.
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@lu – $cientologists believe that an evil overlord called Xenu put all of us on the earth as thetans trapped in human bodies. Or some shit. Xenu is $cientology’s version of the devil. Or something L Ron Hubbard pulled out of his ass.
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