Kim Kardashian and John Mayer are probably boning

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I actually like the idea of Kim Kardashian and John Mayer together. They make sense on paper, although they would probably be a total disaster in real life. Kim is in no way Mayer’s type – he likes his girls to be of the “Aryan race” persuasion, because his dick is racist, remember? And Kim rarely, if ever, dates white guys. Still, Kim is a famewhore who is famous for nothing, and she’s always looking for a new guy to widen her “brand.” And Mayer is a famewhore who is famous for being a douche to women, and he’s always looking for a girl with low self-esteem so he can prey upon them like Douche Dracula. So… they would make sense together, right? Let’s make this happen:

Serial celebrity dater John Mayer may have his eye on curvy Kim Kardashian. Sources said Mayer recently was out one night with the sultry star, who’s in town filming her new series.

One source said, “They brought along other friends, but the idea was to see if they would hit it off.”

Kim’s made it clear she’s on the hunt for a new man in New York. But Mayer wasn’t amused when we reported they were seen chatting in the lobby of Sirius XM last December.

He wrote on Twitter, “I see @kimkardashian at Sirius/XM and say hello like a gentleman and you want to spin a story at my expense? [Bleep] you!” Reps for Kardashian and Mayer didn’t get back to us.

[From Page Six]

So they met last December… since then, Mayer had a Playboy douche explosion, he left his Twitter, and he dicked over Taylor Swift, then 19 years old. And over the past ten months, Kim has broken up with Reggie Bush, and then tried to make everyone think that she was over Reggie. So… they’re in different places now. It makes sense that they would go out and see if they could make it work. I patiently await Taylor Swift’s song about Kim.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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44 Responses to “Kim Kardashian and John Mayer are probably boning”

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  1. Yasmine says:

    ‘A preying Douche Dracula’! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
    That line killed me!

  2. SuperSleuth says:

    Mama Kris will never approve. He doesn’t make nearly as much money as a professional athlete.

  3. Fire says:

    is he seriously wearing a shirt that says “John Mayer” ??

  4. December says:

    I know I say this a lot on Kim Kardashian post but…WTF IS SHE DOING TO HER FACE!?!

    I don’t think she can be classified as human anymore. Heck, I can’t even call her cat looking anymore. She is now extraterristial.

    I shudder to think what she will look like when she hits 35. O.O;

  5. Diane says:

    They sound perfect for each other.

  6. brin says:

    Is it 2012 already?

  7. TaylorB says:

    Can someone please explain what the stinkin’ heck women see in this man? He must be one slick talker, because his reputation alone should be reg flag enough for most women.

    Oh, and am I crazy or is he actually wearing a tee shirt with his own name on it (printed upside down) in that concert pic?

  8. Kimble says:

    Is he wearing a T-shirt with his name on it? Is that in case he gets lost, forgets who he is, or in case someone else forgets who he is?

    Match made in douche heaven!

  9. Riley says:

    John Mayer looks like he is giving a blow job in the last pic.

  10. Kitten says:

    She infamously posed in Playboy and he did an infamous interview for Playboy.
    Meh. Seems to work!
    Her face really does look like it’s carved out of Silly Putty. So strange…

  11. heathen says:

    I hate to say this because I’m not a fan of Kim’s but she can do better. Douche Dracula is right.

  12. maya says:

    This is another stunt for their reality show that is shooting in NYC now. John Mayer must be desperate for publicity.

  13. SuperSleuth says:

    @Riley: ROTFL!!!!!

  14. TaylorB says:

    Oops, not printed upside down, yet still stupid. I guess he needs it, my mom always wrote my name in my underpants when I went to camp. Granted I was a child at the time, but I guess since he still acts like a child it makes sense.

  15. Ashley says:

    I sure hope these two dont hook up cus you know how he likes to people his personal business out there and I dam sure dont wanna hear how he effed kim, the tape with her & ray j was pretty dam boring, but what do you expect, shes a total bore!

  16. Anti-icon says:

    These two, while on the surface, seem perfectly suited—both fame whores, etc. This would be a disaster, b/c Mayer is a commitment phobe and KK wants to get married and have babies—although she always picks dudes who don’t want that at all. So, naturally, this affair is doomed.

  17. Jake says:

    Hasn’t that David Duke stuff gotten old? Some people that read alot from the 50’s and 60’s said he said he hadn’t got it on with anyone other than white chicks and he was going to date other races. He talks like an old black man, they said.. It’s funny when people get it.

  18. Sigh. says:

    Ruh-roh!
    Warn your local high schools!
    Hide your 16-19 year old boys AND girls!
    They’re trolling in pairs!

    If you see a non-descript panel van with a spastic, grimy dude twitching to pseudo-blues he’s playing loudly and a half-dressed, putty-faced, big boobed, gargantuan-assed creature writhing across the windshield – RUUUUUUUUN!!!!

  19. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    Ewwwww anyone that has dated either of these two need to go get checked.

    They are both gross to me, no matter how big his dong is.

  20. Marjalane says:

    This could work out- he likes being pee’d on and she doesn’t mind doing it.

  21. Sam says:

    Mama Kris will not let this pairing happen unless she can calculate a large financial gain from these two getting together. Kim’s partners have always been really rich men or at least men who have the potential to earn lots of money. While John Mayer certainly ggets column inches because he’s infamous, he doesn’t actually generate any money. I say these two will never happen unless Mama Kris can get Kim and John on some kind of TV reality show together a la Nick and Jessica Simpson.

  22. Kim says:

    Perfect couple. 2 mindless, unitelligent, untalented people desperate for fame & money at any means. Match made in heaven.

  23. Kim says:

    Any girl who dates John Mayer should tattoo DESPERATE and STUPID on her forehead.

  24. original kate says:

    oh those krazy kids!

  25. a says:

    he should make his name on his t-shirt backwards so when he’s looking in the mirror it looks right.

    he might as well, i can’t say i’ve ever seen anyone else in a john mayer shirt!

  26. Roxanne75 says:

    I actually like Kim. And this is why. She is who she is. Ya, she’s into herself, her looks, clothes, etc…why is that a bad thing to want attention? People get so jealous. She looks perfect like all the time. Good for her…she appreciates her appearance. Women get so catty. reowrr

  27. Toni says:

    Why are people talking about John Mayer when he’s vanished from the public eye? Last time I checked people not in entertainment have STD’s
    At least entertainers know who their partners been with. Correction Kim is his type… He just isn’t hers. When has she dated a white guy?

  28. Eleonor says:

    Her face looks so plastic that you can think to recycle her.
    I don’t want to imagine this two together.

  29. Isabel says:

    GROSS.

  30. spanks says:

    I just dont get the big deal with him, Ive never found him attractive in any way. His music is alright but its not all that.

  31. Rita says:

    Who isn’t she boning? I don’t understand her celebrity at all. Pretty? Yes. So what?

  32. Jenna says:

    LMFAO he’s actually wearing a shirt that says JOHN MAYER

  33. TaylorB says:

    #27 (can’t read the name) “At least entertainers know who their partners been with.”

    What about all the random groupies? Those aren’t in the tabloids.

  34. luls says:

    OMG, she has Madonna cheeks!!

  35. nnn says:

    Kim and John both shared the same nasty tricks with exes : using urine in love making.

    Kim + John + Urine = perfect match.

  36. Toni says:

    I don’t think Kim has groupies and John is too old to bother with groupies. He probably has eff buddies like other dudes. Wrap it up and get tested. When other guys and women are doing the same thing as those in hollywood, talking about STD’s needs to be addressed to everybody out there. At least some of their partners are known.

  37. Whatup says:

    Haha I also love the dracula line too it should become the new Name for him and all other guys of that sort: but omg this couple is BAD news I’m seeing a new Speidi 🙁

  38. Oh goodie goodie says:

    This should be one hell of a sex tape.lol lol.

  39. Camille says:

    I hope this is true and they do hook up, I find it hilarious 😆 .

  40. Tom Paine says:

    Fantastic! Two of the most repulsive people in existence have found love.

    My god, they’re perfect for each other.

  41. birdgherl says:

    Dying for him to kiss and tell on this one.

  42. poopie says:

    Let’s put this creep mayer in a small room with scott dicksick and see who can ‘out douche’ whom !!!!! what a CREEP. Could Kimmie sink any lower?

  43. sisi says:

    I don’t see it happen.

    John preys on innocent girls/women who hardly have any entourage, like Jessica, Jennifer and Taylor. Kim always has her family around to back her up.

  44. Ruby says:

    Well, so much for John disappearing for a while. Now no twitter, he needs someway to keep his name in the tabloids. Maybe he needs some deflection from the Swift story. John please go away make some music (I like his music and no matter what you say hes talented). Hook up with some Russian model who can’t speak English or some indie chick. All this media attention is turning me off his music. The less I hear his name in the gossip files the better.