Comments on: Joel won’t marry Nicole until she converts to Christianity

By: mamma

mamma — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 20:42:57 +0000

Mary’s comments are the most intelligent of all. Vedantev is very bitter. What’cha so angery bout ‘dantev’, old boy?

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 03:09:12 +0000

I have often joked with my friends that, when you have a child, they give you a shot before you leave the hospital that changes the way you look at just about everything. Your child doesn’t change THE world, but he or she most definitely changes YOUR world. It is not at all uncommon for people who were raised “churched,” but who have drifted away from those influences–especially if it was at the time a positive influence–to recollect their childhood spiritual practice and to see, in retrospect, how valuable this early influence has been in the course of their lives so far–and to begin to consider how they can provide this child who changed their world with what was provided to them. Nicole’s young life was chaotic: very early drug abuse, very early sexualization, usually irresponsible and sometimes selfish behavior, and profound fixation on clothes, being seen, being photographed, being treated like a VIP–all obvious elements of self-involvement but probably hard to shake all at once. Since her child has been born, she has shown much more awareness of the needs of others and displayed generosity and concern. She is working to meet her obligations and become a responsible young woman with better perspective as a foundation for better choices. In many people, such shifts in perspective and behavior originate in love for one’s child. But she is very young, and of course she is still adjusting, and of course there will be tough spots when she will yearn for the reckless freedom of her pre-Harlow days–the personal attention she received, the always-open options, etc. Joel is Harlow’s father, and he has every right to bring those things he considers positive–based on the role they played in his young life–into the conversation about how they will shape their lives and raise their daughter. They are young; they are trying to figure it out, and they are doing it with almost no privacy. How well would any of us fare under those circumstances? How about we send them the love and understanding that we needed when we were young and sometimes overwhelmed by our new responsibilities rather than “offering” the snide remarks that are being made because those posting can remain anonymous–which is just plain childish and cowardly. How would any of you like to live under microscope and have every jot an tittle of your life dissected by the public? In this case the old saw is perfectly appropriate–if you can’t say something positive, keep it to yourself.

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By: Jim

Jim — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 01:24:23 +0000

The REAL reason why nicole won’t marry Joel now is because of Paris. She knows if she do it, Paris will force benji to do it.

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By: Nikki

Nikki — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:04:40 +0000

you are all crazy. LOL

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By: Amanda

Amanda — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 14:02:53 +0000

Okay, I am reading far too many, “baby out of wedlock isn’t Christian” and “too late now,” comments here. I agree that those are definitely sins…but isn’t Christianity all about forgiveness? Everyone’s sinned and fallen short of the grace of God…EVERYONE including all of the people that are posting self-righteous comments. None of us have the right to judge either of them. Who cares if they have a tattoo? That doesn’t mean it’s too late for either of them to accept Jesus into their hearts. Those sorts of judgemental attitudes are exactly the sort of thing that makes non-Christians not want to become Christian. Why convert to a religion where you’re constantly judged? Focus on yourself and, “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Holla.

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By: Jo

Jo — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:44:45 +0000

What does religion have to do with anything? Why does Nicole need to be a Christian- I am seriously confused as to what problem this is going to solve.

Nicole didn’t do drugs, and drink and all that other stuff because she isn’t Christian. She did it because no one expected better of her, because she never expected better of herself. This woman was not raised to be a mature, independent, resourceful woman. And a lack of religious belief had nothing to do with that. That is a crutch**. And please, please, understand what I’m saying when I’m saying that, “crutch”, ’cause I know some hackles were just raised. What I’m saying is, you don’t do something because “god” says to, you don’t do something because it’ll get you into heaven. You do it because it’s right. He’s asking her to use a religion as a crutch. He’s pinning their relationship on something that isn’t part of the problem or solution.

Nicole needs to believe that she can be a good mother. Which means that she needs to believe that she can be smart, independent, resourceful. It means she needs to believe that if Mr. Fucking Rock Star decides that her heathen self isn’t good enough for him and their child, that she can survive and raise their child without him.

**I’m calling religion as a problem solving tool a crutch, not religion itself.

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By: Greg

Greg — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 22:01:10 +0000

Oops, I meant @22… Sorry.

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By: Greg

Greg — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:59:12 +0000

@21: I must disagree. Whether or not you believe it, to successfully pass through all of the rites to become Catholic requires one to have a fairly comprehensive knowledge of the bible, the church, it’s beliefs (and to differentiate between other religion’s beliefs). Attending a Catholic school as well virtually guarantees that if one has passed all of the rites and graduated from a Catholic high school, then one has accumulated a fairly comprehensive knowledge of Catholicism as well as the belief systems of the mainstream Christian religions, as well as Judaism (from which Christianity was evolved). I, for example, don’t believe and never have but 40 years later can quote chapter and verse with just about any bible thumper of any stripe and this is not unique to me at all.

The worry that the relationship won’t last since Nicole is being required to ascribe to a new belief system is valid. Who hasn’t seen relationships based on person A “saving” person B from themselves fail because person B sees themselves as passing through a kind of gatekeeper process and once past, returns to their old habits?

Faith can, however, be found (as well as lost) and if she finds it then more power to her. True or not, religion provides a moral compass that is not at all difficult to read. Most mainstream Christian sects believe that to be forgiven of all your sins, all one must do is embrace Jesus of Nazareth as the son of God and personal savior and you’re set - even for having out-of-wedlock children.

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By: Leah

Leah — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 16:44:47 +0000

I think that we all make mistakes that go against what we say we stand for, so maybe we should give some people a break.

Everyone’s a hypocrite.

I hate people.

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By: Kris

Kris — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 06:10:37 +0000

Ok, wait….you get a woman pregnant THEN later on, won’t marry her, because she’s not Christian? Wouldn’t it be moreso “Christian” to marry her, specifically because you LOVE her and have created a child together? You don’t get converts by coercion or ultimatums. If your religion works for you, cool. The key is, don’t preach…if asked, then elaborate on how your particular religion has been an asset to your life. You might or might not get a convert.

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