'08
Some people have a weird way of measuring their success. While most of us would use money or happiness, Chris Martin uses karaoke.
He apparently said: “I’m really determined that there should be more Coldplay songs in karaoke bars. I’ve been into them and you open the lyrics book and there are a million Beatles songs. There’s dozens of ABBA, Culture Club and even Bucks Fizz, but Coldplay? There will be two or at most three.”
But Martin has a solution: “If we could just get eight in every bar worldwide I’d be happy. I would know we’ve made it. I think there are three karaoke possibilities on ‘Viva La Vida’. It surely has to be the ultimate measure of success.”
Chris, if it makes you feel better I once had a car named after you. It was yellow. It was also a pile of crap. It was also back in the day when people didn’t know who you were, and your lovely wife Gwyneth Paltrow was going to marry Brad Pitt.
I had completely forgotten that she was once engaged to the man-half of Brangelina, and for the first time Chris has spoken about what it is like to be married to a woman who used to date Brad Pitt:
Despite it all, Martin can’t stop feeling like an underdog. “You’ve got to be hungry,” he says. “If your wife went out with Brad Pitt, you’d want to prove yourself, you know what I mean?”
I think if you really thought about the fact that your wife once bedded the sexiest man alive (back when he was in his prime), it could really bother you. You might wonder how you shape up next to that shirtless wonder.
Then you’d have to get one of the world’s biggest ego boosts – my wife could have married the sexiest man alive, but she chose me.
Written by Helen
Posted in Brad Pitt, Chris Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow
- TV Shows that outstayed their welcome [Pajiba]
- Goopy and Cameron Diaz went to a Coldplay concert [Lainey Gossip]
- The bacon milkshake! [D-Listed]
- Ashanti looks... good? [Go Fug Yourself]
- 20 great songs under 2 minutes [Fark]
- Snooki and J-Woww on notice [IDLYITW]
- Jennifer Aniston through the years [Popsugar]
- Kirsten Dunst looks so pretty here [Evil Beet]
- Mila Kunis without makeup [Celebslam]
- The awful cover letter all of Wall St. is mocking [Gawker]
26 Responses to “Chris Martin feels competitive with Brad Pitt”
Leave a Reply
By commenting you agree to our comment policy
Use the "Report this comment as spam or abuse" link to ask the moderators to delete a comment if it's offensive. If your comment disappears, it may have been eaten by the spam filter. Please e-mail cbcomments at gmail.com to get it retrieved.
Get an icon next to your name by signing up for a free Gravatar
I’d take Chris over Brad any day. Swoon.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Rock god?
The definition of the word must have been changed in the last 30 years to account for the increasing blandness and wussification of American musical culture.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Thank you vdantev! Look how little Coldplay is printed compared to his name. I smell a crappy solo album in the works.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Don’t get the attraction of either of these guys so I’ll pass. And I’ll second the Rock God thing – particularly laughable when a genuine 100% Rock God is mentioned on the same cover.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
He’s a Thom Yorke wanna-be.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’ve chosen skinny geeky musician types over studlies before… sometimes they just DO it for you. … and then trample all over you.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Was that really necessary? “A pile of crack”? I’m not too fond of your postings at all.. And do research first, it wasn’t the first time he talked about Brad Pitt, he said in interviews years ago that he has to live up to Brad-Pitt-standard.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
How in the hell is Chris Martin a Rock GOD?? I’ll second what Geronimo said re. Bo Diddley; when Ifirst saw that cover I immediately thought – why on earth isn’t Bo Diddley’s portrait gracing the cover of Rolling Stone? Coldplay is a good band, they’ve got O.K. music, a few really pretty songs – they’re certainly no Radiohead or even close to it, but they’re not that bad -However, not for a glimmer of an instance would I ever have thought of Chris Martin as a Rock “God.” That is just egregiously absurd.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
What a douche bag. Your bean stalk wife married you, Brad has a ring through his nose that links his chain to Angelina Jolie and you are fretting over their relationship that was over long ago? What a wussy. He needs bitch slapped, that might put things into perspective for him.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Please. Brad hadn’t even gotten near his prime when he was with Gwen. His prime was most definitely around the Fight Club era when he lopped off that ridiculous barbie doll hair and actually started looking like a man.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Well, as they say on 40 yr old virgin, “y’know how I know your gay??? you listen to coldplay”. This guy’s a douche and the chick that is “swooning” over him, well, you may need some professional help. One last thing, you should never mention Coldplay and the word rock in the same sentence. That’s like calling the emo Fallout Boys heavy metal.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’m not a Coldplay or Chris Martin fan, but he has a major dry and self-deprecating sense of humor and I totally believe this interview was done almost entirely tongue in cheek.
Unfortunately, no one is picking it up that way.
It’s unfortunate, too, that Rolling Stone has become so commercial and pandering that they would call Chris Martin a “rock god” (even stretching “rock” to it’s furthest limits, this man is in no way, shape or form a deity of the genre, or any genre, hell, he’s not even a “girlie, U2-wannabe, pop, celebrity ‘god’”, he’s just a girlie, U2-wannabe, pop, celebrity guy.) and then blip Bo Diddly in the bottom left… sad, sad, sad.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Yes, he is not a Rock God — not even a Rock Angel, but if a Coldplay song is on, I listen to it.
But Chris’s statements on Brad are really funny. Gwyneth must talk about Brad at home more than she talks about him in public. Ha!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
This is hilarious when you’ve got Jen who was married to Brad for 7 years– I guess Chris must not have a “dominican” like John Mayer.
I like Coldplay, I’ll say it. The piano is amazing in so many of their songs, and I’m told they’re amazing live. I for one don’t think I could take all of his crazy face contortions, but I dig the music. I also find it hilarious and awesome that his number one goal as an artist, is to be in every Karaoke bar.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Chris Martin is such an idiot. First he says Coldplay is the best band in the world EVER (better than the Beatles – yeah, he in fact mentioned that to make it even more ridiculous) and then he gets this crap out of his mouth. What an arrogant bastard, you just now know why Gwyneth (who I can’t stand either…
)spent so less time with him together in public. She is afraid to get embarrassed by his ridiculous comments. How can he – after years and years of marriage, a couple of kids included, still be unsure about his position towards her? How insecure he must be when he still deals with Brad as her ex? He is such a stupid douchebag… Grrr… 
Chris, one hint for you: Maybe your songs and your band just aren’t as great as the Beatles, and maybe that’s the reason why they still outrank you by far in Karaoke bars… just an educated guess from my side…
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Well someone is buying their CDs. But I guess I’m the only one with the backbone to admit it. Knocking Coldplay is so 2003. They write amazing melodies and Chris Martin puts on a great show. But I guess everyone’s too busy buying tickets to see Miley Cyrus and The Jonas Brothers to notice.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Hating on Coldplay is kind of like hating on Justin Timberlake or Timbaland or Beyonce. Everyone loves to talk about how overrated or over-exposed they are but you just know they’ve got half a dozen of their songs on their iPods. I just don’t buy it anymore.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
If I ever decide to kill myself, coldplay will be in the background.
And for the record, I have alot of crap in my playlist but not a single coldplay song.
Boy is pretentious at best which is probably why he and Gwyneth have lasted so long. He’s two years away from heavy rotation on AC radio.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’ll freely admit that I have Coldplay on my iPod. Chris Martin irritates me (even if he was funny on Extras), but I like some of their some songs.
But I do now nor will I ever have in the future a Justin Timberland, Timbaland, or Beyonce song. Whole different ballpark.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Come on, people!
The guy is trying to be funny. He was making a joke. You think he would actually say something like that if it were true?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I love Chris Martin, he’s hysterical!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Can’t say I love Coldplay but Chris Martin is soooo funny on the deleated scenes in Shaun of the Dead so he’ll always be alright with me.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Swoon? Come on! He’s an average looking guy nothing special, just like his wife. Some people become famous due to various circumstances. He is so sexless, again, just like his wife. Two very unsexy, plain ol’ people.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
“And I’ll second the Rock God thing – particularly laughable when a genuine 100% Rock God is mentioned on the same cover.”
You mean John McCain, of course.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Ha! In his dreams. Good name for a band, tho’, don’t you think? Wounded Psyche.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
You guys all fail is you seriously think Chris Martin is not a rock god. You all probably think the definition of “rock” is loud, wailing electric guitars that are unpleasant on the ears. You guys think just because a song is catchy like coldplay’s music, and has commercial success, it can’t be rock. Well, you guys are wrong. There are many types of rock and Coldplay is one of them. They are alt. rock. Coldplay haters will just have to suck it up and face the fact that they’re the most successful rock band of our era.
Report this comment as spam or abuse