You’d think that Billy Ray Cyrus’s mullet would be enough to for this post – I mean, I could talk about this monstrosity for HOURS. Did he return to the mullet because Tish was boning Bret Michaels? Is this a mullet hairpiece? Sigh… no, I am going to attempt to cover the winners and the fashion in this piece. I never know if you guys really want to know about country music people, so it’s always a struggle to figure out how much detail to give when summarizing what happened during one of these country music awards shows. Personally, I don’t have a dog in this hunt, and I don’t know who most of these people are (no disrespect). If you want a comprehensive summary of the show, this is not your site. I will suggest some links for you – People Magazine has a piece about last night’s big CMA winners, Miranda Lambert and Brad Paisley. And here’s the list of winners:
Entertainer of the Year: Brad Paisley
Female Vocalist of the Year: Miranda Lambert
Male Vocalist of the Year: Blake Shelton
New Artist of the Year: Zac Brown Band
Vocal Group of the Year: Lady Antebellum
Vocal Duo of the Year: Sugarland
Single of the Year: “Need You Now,” Lady Antebellum
Album of the Year: Revolution, Miranda Lambert
Song of the Year: “The House That Built Me,” Miranda Lambert
Musical Event of the Year: “Hillbilly Bone,” Blake Shelton and Trace Adkins
Music Video of the Year: “The House that Built Me,” Miranda Lambert
Musician of the Year: Mac McAnally, guitar
And the rest will just be devoted to fashion/styling…Like Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, and Nicole’s poor face. Damn, did she get it jacked especially for the show? Also – Nic’s booty is looking especially cute in this dress. Good Dolce & Gabbana dress, although I think she‘s too old to do the “virginal white lace” thing. The shoes are all kinds of wrong, though.
Miranda Lambert & Blake Shelton on the red carpet… Blake is kind of a hottie, right? And Miranda is really pretty. She’s got a really Southern look.
And here’s Miranda’s performance change – I don’t like this dress at all. It does not flatter her figure.
LeAnn Rimes just can’t dress for sh-t, can she? And the makeup and hair is even more hideous than the dress. Ugh.
Leighton Meester wore a MULLET DRESS to the CMAs! She’s so clever.
Here’s Gwyneth’s red carpet arrival dress – I’m not a big fan of ombre, but it’s not hideous. The cut-out is just WRONG though.
Call me crazy, but I thought Katherine Heigl was one of the best dressed women… for the occasion. Not in general. Heigl chose a simple blue strapless Farah Angsana ball gown and jacked her hair and her tittays to Jesus in heaven, which is completely appropriate for the CMAs. Does this age her? Sure. But every woman at this event looks like they’re on the hard side of 40.
Carrie Underwood had a bunch of costume changes, but this Talbot Runhof strapless was probably the biggest show-stopper. Some women like lots of ruffles – I don’t. It’s a personal choice.
I hated Sheryl Crow’s dress, mainly for the hem. Kimberly Williams, that color is too garish. Stop.
Kelly Pickler looked cheap. That’s all.
I like Gretchen Wilson’s outfit if she was going to a kegger/mullet party. But it’s too dressed-down for a major country-music awards show.
Lady Antebellum’s Hilary Scott looks very Eva Longoria – and that’s not good. Hilary’s pretty and she’s got a nice figure, but she needs to try a different silhouette for her body. Something sleeker, perhaps with a deep V-neck, fitted through the bodice.
Martina… girl, get it together. She looks like she’s wrapped in tin foil.
Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles is cute as a button. One note: if you’re wearing an ice-blue gown, you don’t need to wear ice-blue eyeshadow. Otherwise, it’s just fine.
I forgot Taylor Swift, just because I already did her in another post – I like this dress, but it’s too “mature” for her. Still, it’s a good color for her. I’m just happy she’s not wearing pastel.
We started on a mullet, and so it’s poetic to end on a dirt bag. I know you bitches love Kid Rock (who are you?), but really? A JIM BEAM t-shirt to an awards show?
When it comes to fashion critique, it is so easy to become condescending and catty. I will leave the intellectual shredding of loin cloth to Mr. Gunn, for today I choose to take the high road. Today, I reject the mean-spirited giggles at Raccoon McPantless (cracks me up every time) as well as spurn the shock and awe of disgust at Lady-slaughter house-Gaga. In this moment, I stand shoulder to shoulder with LeAnn Rimes to support her persona mystique (or is it non grata?). With my head held high and chest out (boobs slightly drooping to each side), I say this of LeAnn’s entire look at the CMS’s…….. If she doesn’t care, why should I?
That Carrie Underwood is one classy young lady.
Most everyone here looks decent enough.
Why so many photos of LeeAnn Rimes? UGh, if I never see her again it will be too soon.
Kid Rock looked the best. That is how bad the others were, although I liked Paltrow’s dress.
KH looks like a bridesmaid. For Christ’s sake she has a CRUMB CATCHER on her dress. GP’s dress could have been fab if not for that cutout. Jennifer Nettles looks fab, except for that cheap Cover Girl looking eyeshadow. And LR…she looks masculine. Her legs spread like that? It looks awful. Country music stars need to learn how to dress!
Leann looked like someone puked pewter all over her…and look how she is standing in that one picture…lol.
Kellie looked cheap & old.
Carrie is stunning.
I just can’t with GOOPy’s dress. Would have looked so better without the cut on the side.
Kelly Pickler, bless her heart. I’m not going to say anything bad about her because she was abandoned her by her white trash mom, but she seriously needs a stylist. I’ve seen her look very cute. Trailer, but cute.
Martina McBride looks like she’s trying to use her food stamps to buy cigarettes at the Piggly Wiggly after a 3-day bender. I’ve never seen her not look pretty, but I guess she’s hit the wall.
Kathryn Heigel (I know I spelled it wrong and I don’t care) looks like someone who isn’t going to age well. Two years ago she was pretty, now she looks a good 10 years older.
I swear to God the Country Music awards tries to kill me every single year. They want me to gasp with horror so many times that I faint and bang my head and die.
Nicole and Katherine could have done so much better.
I am feeling Kid Rock’s Jim Beam shirt though.
Something is going on with Kellie Pickler. She has gained a bunch of weight and I hardly realized it was her when she was presenting last night. Pregnant maybe? Don’t know but the weight gain isn’t going good for her at all. And I really like her.
I might respect the county music awards more if everyone acted and dressed like Carrie. (I’d personally like it more if the top layer of ruffles was moved down further, accentuating her curves.)
It’s one thing to be dressed badly in an awards gown, and another to be dressed badly in a situationally-inappropriate garment.
Pretty much agree with you Kaiser. Uhg. There are people here in the South that can dress. Wish they would get invited. I guess that’s just more evidence that Nashville is really really out of touch.
Hope the Fug girls are in good form today!
Gwyneth, Leighton, and Heigl are the best dressed and thats probably because they arent country stars. lol Country singers have awful tacky taste. Though I actually think Jennifer nettles was dressed nice and I dont mind the ice blue eyeshadow that much.
Leann went for sexy. she and Goopy are clearly vain about their bodies.
Well that was some Honky-Tonk Hot mess!
Wow Leanne is looking a little . . . uh . . . trannylicious there.
I am not a fan of the shoe style that seems popular with everyone these days. The bootie/shoe thing….I think they are ok with pants/jeans, but with dresses? Yuck! Not flattering at all.
Kinda think Twitter Rimes looked like a grey owl. Also, loved the infidelity song by Brad and Carrie and the next presenter….homewrecker Rimes! Just priceless.
The only dress I really like is Taylor Swift’s. Great color. Fits like a glove. And she is nearly 6ft tall… which means it drape’s correctly on her body. She is not 15. She is nearly 21 so I don’t understand the need to keep her in kids clothes.
Love the dress Miranda has on… pretty color… and she obviously visited the tailor and got it fitted for her. She is really short.
But she would have avoided those tragic chunky silver platforms. As should most women in general. Avoid those awful chunky platforms.
I always find Carrie Underwood to end up in things that are over powering and normally ill fitting. Just like this dress she wore on the red carpet. Ugh.
I still love Nicole Kidman. And I love those red shoes. But not with that white dress. And the dress is a cute dress. (for Spring) Just needed different shoes.
Maybe I missed something… but what is Heigel doing there? After all the crap she put ABC through… why would they ever let her near anything they are producing? haha! She must be desperate to drum up a little positive press.
And Blake Shelton… if you want to see him looking good… youtube this song… “She Wouldn’t Be Gone”…
@JJ….lol, that was good….wonder if leann even noticed.
My BF forced me to watch about an hour of this before I fell asleep. While I will admit to loving the Mandrell Sisters show when I was a just a wee pirate, I usually hope that if I pretend country music doesn’t exist, it will go away. I must ask, why were most of these people dressed like they’re in an emo band? Just give Pete Wentz his hair back & go put on your fat Elvis outfit or plaid shirt & Wranglers or something more “country”. Also Zac Brown looks like a hobo.
LeAnn’s dress looks like it’s made of sweatshirt material.
and GAH! Kidman’s lips are STILL freaking me out! it’s really a shame how she ruined her face…those brows – eek! when she smiles, she looks like a villain-ness from a disney movie.
Why was Heigl at the CMAs? Josh Kelly is not a country singer. She looked really good though. So much better than Paltrow. WTH was she thinking with that dress? Look at me, I’m so sexy. No you’re not Goopy! And Kidman with that 90’s lace dress. Oh my heavens. I liked hte top of Leann’s dress, it just needed a little more on the bottom. All that being said, I think it’s awesome that both Miranda and Blake won. I would have loved to see them together when their names were announced.
Not into Kuntree at all, but that blue eye-shadowed girl, Jennifer Nettles, is adorable! And why does Sheryl Crow look so YOUNG! She must use the same “sunscreen” as Nicole Kidman.
I actually liked that Leanne Rimes had on something blousy and non-tight. And Holy Hell! That Gretchen Williams(?) sure do be a redneck woman! Dang!!
Leann needs to find a real stylist every thing she wears is pitiful looked like a sack dress and that hairstyle on her horsey face was just plain terrible Maybe she could hire Brandi to tell her how to dress and loved the Ode to infidelity Brad sang and then out walked LeannWonderful T.V. really glad Brad won this year love him and Carrrie
Since when did the CMAs go uptown? Where’s Dolly? Reba? Minnie Pearl? Flatt and Scruggs?
most of the dresses look like either curtains or doilies.
taylor’s dress was fab…just not on her.
whoa Pickler’s boobs are terrible and did she put on weight?
no pics of the Zac Brown Band? i loveloveLOVE the singer and his beard!
thanks for the country love 😀
@Rachel Josh Kelley is on tour with Miranda Lambert. He is doing country music now. Also he is the older brother to one of the Lady Antebellum guys.
Carrie Underwood’s dress looks like a fancy sink scourer
oh nevermind
Le sigh, I love Kid Rock, I just can’t help it…
Hey y’all….it’s fashion forward, not backward.
Musician of the Year: Mac McAnally, guitar
McAnally? i’m not a country music fan, but it sounds like this dude needs to secure himself the services of Tobias Funke, Analrapist!
Compared to how he usually looks, Kid Rock actually looked pretty good. LOVE Taylor Swift’s look. Beautiful. The rest not so much and Leeann, awful.
I love BR, so no mullet hate here, plus I’m loving Kid Rock and his always dress like Kid Rock thing. The rest, for the most part, sucky and not fun. Carrie Underwood is gorgeous, though. Goopy-I.Just.Can’t.
boy they all look terrible! is it the backdrop or the lighting??
i cant figure out why leAnn looks so unattractive. when i look at her face, at the features, it looks like she should be pretty, but somehow the whole look is not attractive.
also, the secret to eddie and leAnn is that they look the same. people are drawn to others with similar features…and they have the same eyes. good on him, but some how they dont work on her.
the sad part is, you could put me in a Kid Rock/Mullet sandwich and I’d be totally cool with that.
NOT cool, however, with how most of those ladies failed to bring it last night – bad bad bad all around. Also: keith urban…wearing as much makeup as nicole? ugh.
ALSO – as someone who gets told I look like Kimberly Williams(Paisley) a lot….I could have done MUCH better than that. Move over, Kim – I’ll take it from here. OK, so it would be a Kid Rock/Mullet/Brad Paisely sandwich. Mmmm.
So glad to see Miranda Lambert won some awards. She is crazy talented, and she’s a good ol’ southern gal…love her. Plus she and Blake are freakin’ adorable together…they hunt together and everything. Love.
Kelly Pickler looks like a girl who moved to Vegas hoping to be a showgirl, got lots of cheap work done, blew a bunch of producers and still had to pack her cat and her baby boy up and move back home where she wound up stripping at a Dolly Parton themed strip club right outside of DollyWorld.
BTW – I meant Dollywood – sorry about that I guess I got confused with Holly’s World. Yikes!
Were there best dressed? Cause I don’t see them
God I love Miranda Lambert. I wish that pink number was hitched about an inch higher, but she gets a pass due to her radness.
@Kaiser: This post was hilarious and just wanted I needed to read to forget a stressful morning. My favorite lines: “hard side of 40,” “the MULLET dress (ha ha ha),”Some women like ruffles. I don’t. It’s a personal choice.” I love old time country and bluegrass and listen to it often: Willie and Waylon, Johnny and June, Dolly and Loretta, Emmylou Harris, The Stanley Brothers, etc. etc. I don’t know too much about modern country (after the Dixie Chicks got all crazy I kind of stopped listening). I was pissed though because I was looking forward to watching Modern Family last night only to discover it wasn’t on. These day it is the small things that make me happy: Modern Family and a glass of wine, Glee and a glass of wine.
i am not a country music person but i love love love miranda lambert. she would be adorable in a potato sack. and is it just me or does sheryl crow’s face change alot? she either got “work” or she’s lost too much weight or something. i can never recognize her anymore.
I like that Kid Rock is Kid Rock, take it or leave it, that’s who he is.
OMG…the only one that looked halfway descent was Taylor Swift. Martina honey, mini’s are for the under 30 crowd.
Nicole – where to start? White Lace? It’s very Ladies who Lunch but not red- carpet worthy and the shoes do not complement. Heigl’s hair is hideous but I agree she looks good in her gown. Carrie Underwood – Nice colour but I can’t stand ruffles so I’m not gonna like it no matter what. Swifty looks great, the sanctimonius little git but I still wanna slap her. Big fat fail for Sweater dress Gretchen, Hilary and Martina. I like that Jennifer chick’s gown but I’m with Kaiser. You don’t match your eye-shadow with your outfit. I actually really like Leighton’s gown despite it’s mullet-ness. I’m going to take a page out of Rita’s hilarious book and ignore the fugness that is LeAnn.
Wow, these women all look so hard and much older than they are (although admittedly I don’t know who most of them are, so their ages I don’t know). Yikes.
I usually feel sad when I look at Nicole Kidmans face. She used to be so fresh and pretty, now, well her face looks like it is made of playdough 🙁 .
I am sorry, but Carrie Underwood’s dress is hideous. It doesn’t look as bad from the side as from the front, but it’s hideous.
I am not a goop fan, but she does look good in her dress.
And I think Nicole better stop F-ing w/her face! She’s beginning to look like a witch and I don’t mean Glenda. She is too old for that dress and the shoes don’t match (though they are NICE)
LMAO @ “Crumb Catcher”
Taylor Swift looks good, but I agree, it’s a little too grown for her.
As for the rest, well, it is the CMAs….
Oh dear, in that second photo of Nicole, you can really see the damage that has been done to her lip. She’s also looking significantly heavier – I wonder if she’s trying to get pregnant again?
It’s the country music awards, y’all. Frankly, I’m disappointed with the lack of glue-on sequins, rhinestones & denim.
Is LeAnn’s dress hosed down with paua shell? That would weigh a bit.
Meester looks like a zombie. Terrible makeup.
Really diggin’ Meester’s whole look; outfit, makeup and hair. Cute!
The CMA’s must have had difficulty finding presenters. LeAnn Rimes worked Casinos & small rodeos in Canada the majority of this year with poor ticket sales. Her fashion sense now borders on Skank/Confused.Her career is in the toilet and she doesn’t seem to care. BTW I ‘used’ to be a huge fan
Nicole Kidman looks plastic.
Do any of these people have stylists? Scary…
Fashion Police on E is going to rip these guys to shreds (especially Leann).
Kelly Pickler looks like she has a few pounds on like shes preggers
Hmmm, maybe LeAnn does have the flu after all. She does not look very well at all in these pics.
I can’t stand gwyneth, but I thought her dress looked great – even the cut-out – and she has a terrific voice. I still think she’s a horrible person, but I’ll give credit where it’s due.