It’s no secret for permanent Gerard-loonies that the man gains and loses weight very rapidly. Some (many) men are like that – they can lose weight with such ease, it kind of makes me sick. After last New Year’s gut-and-moobs explosion, Gerard quickly got back into shape, and was forced to admit interviews that he loves his junk food and butter and candy, and everything dipped in butter. Gerard’s weight fluctuations are so common, I barely notice them. Take his appearance this past summer, working in Michigan. All I could really see was “Mullet”. But it turns out, he put on 30 pounds by eating six meals a day, and he’s had to drop the weight in a hurry now that the film is done:

Sexy Gerard Butler, once known for his amazing abs and perfect pecs, packed on 30 pounds to play a middle-aged biker in his latest film, Machine Gun Preacher. But the 41 year old is no longer stuffing his face with six meals a day to beef up.

Now, to prepare for a new role playing 18th-century poet Robert Burns, Gerard is frantically trying to slim down and shed the excess weight.

“He stopped eating pastas and sweets, and is working out,” says a close friend. “In two weeks, he’s dropped 15 pounds!”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Yeah… about five of those pounds were “detachable mullet”. But Gerard has been looking good lately. And he’s been feeling good too, as evidenced by his trolling for strange at Victoria’s Secret shows and general groping of blondes. UGH.

But I am looking forward to seeing him play Robert Burns – he doesn’t really look like Burns at all though. You know who looks like Burns? Gasp – Robert Pattinson.