OK! Magazine is back to doing hokey Twihard fan-fiction cover stories again. This one is especially hilarious – you see, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson just filmed Bella and Edward’s wedding scene. Thus, “JUST MARRIED” on the cover. Just in case you thought K-Stew and The Sparkler would get hitched without inviting YOU. Anyway, the cover story excerpt is totally written by a 13-year-old Twihard who just learned how to masturbate using a photo of The Sparkler duct-taped to a pillow and some blanket friction:

It was a scene as lush and romantic as every Breaking Dawn reader had imagined: Rob Pattinson as vampire Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart as heroine Bella Swan, nearly naked in skimpy swimsuits, frolicking together over a waterfall in tropical Paraty, south of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, on their honeymoon. Under a searing afternoon sun on Nov. 8, Twilight’s on- and off-screen lovers laughed giddily.

When Kristen hopped up on Rob’s back for a lift over the falls, there was no doubt the two actors were having fun. It was a moment sexy enough to make any Twi-hard swoon. And it was all in a day’s work: Rob, 24, and Kristen, 20, were in Brazil to shoot steamy scenes for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, the fourth installment of Stephenie Meyer’s vampire series. And, as always for this couple, art and life were hopelessly intertwined.

“Rob and Kristen were in a world of their own, rehearsing and running the scene,” an on-set source says. “They were so cute together, looking very much in love — when they were filming and when the cameras were off.”

[From OK! Magazine]

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t give a crap, but this comes just days after a breakup report got some wider circulation. I know, I know, there are breakup reports all the time, but this one was allegedly started by some alleged quotes from an alleged Summit Entertainment executive (Summit produces the Twilight films). According to Limelife:

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart wasted no time hustling to Brazil to film their sexy wedding and honeymoon scenes for “Breaking Dawn.” We now have word why Summit Entertainment felt the need to hurry the taping — they’re afraid Rob and Kristen may split.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart spent approximately a week off the coast of Brazil to film their wedding and honeymoon scenes for “Breaking Dawn.” The pair traveled with an exclusive pack of film crew and ultra-high security before returning to Baton Rouge, Louisiana to continue filming with the rest of the cast.

Why the big production for the big production? An Irish website is citing a Summit Entertainment source who revealed that studio execs are still really nervous Rob and Kristen could break up, and if they do, it’s going to make filming intimate scenes between Edward and Bella really sticky. “Breaking Dawn” director Bill Condon said:

“Often times on films the sex scenes and the intimacy (between actors who are real-life couples) are shot first to get them out of the way … There’s always that ‘Oh s*** factor’ – what if they break up and we haven’t shot all the intimate stuff yet? It would be awkward for everyone involved.”

Condon added that filming the love scenes early also helps keep press leaks at bay. What happens if paparazzi have time to plan and get some really good shots of Stewart and Pattinson on set for a sex scene? “You’re at risk of wrecking an entire movie,” Condon said, “especially one like ‘Breaking Dawn’ where the fans are dying to see these sexy moments between Edward and Bella.”

[From Limelife]

Did the director just utter some ominous words directed at the heart and loins of Twihards everywhere? Or did someone just state the obvious – it’s more fun to shoot intimate scenes before the two leads are sick of each other? TWIHARD CODE RED.

OK! Magazine cover courtesy of OK!.