Madonna wants you all to know she really, really isn’t planning on getting a divorce. She also isn’t involved with Alex Rodriguez, and thinks that newspapers and the internet are full of shit. Which is kind of funny, since that is what most newspaper and internet writers think of her.

She has issued this statement to People magazine.

In it, she says: “My husband and I are not planning on getting a divorce. I know Alex Rodriguez through Guy Oseary, who manages both of us. I brought my kids to a Yankee game. I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study.”

“I have learned over the years not to take accusations and the many false reports about me very seriously. I also appreciate how fiction and fact seem to be perceived as one and the same by people who read both newspapers and the Internet.”

Given Madonna’s reputation for being extremely guarded and controlling about her public image, I actually thought the wording of this statement was interesting. Firstly, she is ‘not planning on getting a divorce’. This would fit in with reports that Madonna and Guy are not comitted to a divorce yet, for the sake of their children. I think that a custody agreement could get complicated given that Madonna’s eldest daughter Lourdes is not Guy’s biological daughter, but from a previous relationship.

She also says she is not romantically involved with Alex Rodriguez, not that she has ‘never’ been involved with him in the past, ever.

Alex’s wife Cynthia will be filing for divorce this Monday, according to her newly employed attourney Earle Lilley. Lilley leaves no doubt who is the cause of the divorce, telling ABC News affiliates that “The relationship with Madonna was the final straw for Mrs. Rodriguez.”

Note by Celebitchy: What amuses me about Madonna’s statement is that she’s not complaining about newspapers and the Internet being incorrect - she’s suggesting that people who read newspapers and the Internet are incapable of telling truth from fiction, as if it’s a personal failing to pay attention to the news at all. In a haughty appearance on Oprah defending her illegal adoption of David Banda, she was all too proud to announce that she doesn’t watch the news, go online for news, or read a newspaper. This is f’ing ripe from a woman who spends tens of thousands of dollars a month on water that’s been blessed. Because smart people don’t take in information from different sources and use critical reasoning skills. According to Madonna, smart people pay someone else to tell them what’s true.

And it looks like she’s teaching Alex Rodriguez to pay an authority figure to tell him what’s true too. His own personal trainer says he’s been brainwashed by Madonna. Whether she screwed him or not, she surely screwed his marriage by helping him buy into the same belief system.

Alex Rodriguez is shown leaving his apartment on 6/7/08. He stopped and signed an autograph for a little kid in a Yankee shirt.