Nick Lachey is attempting a Jedi mind trick on Jessica Simpson

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As we all know, Jessica Simpson being the dumb bunny that she is, rushed through a haphazard and poorly planned engagement announcement just days after her ex-husband Nick Lachey announced his engagement to long-time girlfriend Vanessa WhatsIt. It was Farty McObvious’s sad attempt to engagement-block her ex, and it blew up in her face because just days after Farty’s announcement, Kate Middleton and Prince William announced their engagement, and now no one cares about Jessica. Anyway, Jessica’s official story is that she and Eric Johnson got engaged on 11/11/2010. And many of the tabloids claim that because of complicated numerology reasoning, Jessica will marry Eric on 1/1/11. New Year’s Day. I kind of believe this theory – I think Jess will get married sooner rather than later, although the tabloids are now backtracking and saying that Jess and Eric are going to wait until the summer or something. Okay, that was all backstory – while everyone was paying attention to Jessica and (mostly Kate Middleton), Nick Lachey has been very quiet about his wedding plans. When asked, he deflects, and when he’s asked about Jessica, he is very gracious. Until now! During an interview on Wednesday, Nick seems like he’s trying to pull a JedI mind trick on his ex:

Nick Lachey took his time proposing to gal pal of four years, Vanessa Minnillo, 30, but it looks like they may be racing down the alter.

On The Rachael Ray Show Wednesday, The Sing-Off host, 37, hinted that they may wed before the new year.

“We’re going to be in Cincinnati with family, and hopefully having a white Christmas,” said Lachey. “We’re going to be in Tuscany for New Year’s. Who knows, we may be married in Tuscany, too!”

Other than that, though, the singer admitted he’s not that involved in wedding planning.
“I just basically told her, I said, ‘Tell me where to be, when to be there and what to wear, and I’ll be there,'” he said.

As for his ex Jessica Simpson, who announced her engagement to Eric Johnson in November — just a week after Lachey’s — she’s taking an equally low-key approach to her nuptials.

“I have not set a date and I can’t even think about putting together table settings at the moment,” Simpson, 30, recently told UsMagazine.com. “I’m just gonna enjoy the engagement and we’ll get married the moment we feel like it.”

[From Us Weekly]

Doesn’t it seem like Nick is daring Jessica to get married on New Year’s? Like he’s challenging her to try to one-up him and throw herself a haphazard New Year’s wedding? I think that’s what he’s doing. I think Nick and Vanessa want a long engagement free of Jessica’s drama, and that Nick decided to drop some fake “clues” about when he and Vanessa are going to have their wedding.

And you know what? Ten bucks says Jessica falls for it.

*waves something shiny in front of Jessica.*

“These are not the droids you’re looking for.”

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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35 Responses to “Nick Lachey is attempting a Jedi mind trick on Jessica Simpson”

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  1. bite me says:

    hehe, love it

  2. normades says:

    Excellent star wars reference lol

  3. brin says:

    Echo that….love it!!!! You gotta watch out for the quiet ones! Jess must be going wackadoodles…go Nick!!!

  4. Jaye E says:

    That pic of Jessica is so unflattering.

  5. Sophie says:

    haha, I’m liking this guy more and more lately

  6. Po says:

    Kaiser I love your scenerio. Let’s make Nick Obi Wan so Jessica has got to be Jar Jar.

  7. susanne says:

    Nick looks So Dumb. Nuthin’ going on in that space behind the sparkly eyes. So dumb.

    Vanessa looks crafty though, right?

  8. ziggy says:

    @susanne, i had to hoot at your ‘nuthin going on in that space’ behind nick’s eyes!! so true!!!

  9. Marjalane says:

    Oh kaiser! You are giving Nick Lachey WAY too much credit! I don’t think he’s capable of outsmarting anyone….except possibly Jessica….so maybe so.

  10. Praise St. Angie! says:

    “*waves something shiny in front of Jessica.*

    “These are not the droids you’re looking for.””

    and THIS is why Celebitchy is one of the best celeb gossip blogs around.

    Kudos, Kaiser.

  11. flutters says:

    Oh Kaiser, I love it when you bring the lolz!

    You know it’s bad when even People magazine is snarky to Jessica about the timing of her engagement announcement (check out this week’s Best/Worst issue).

    Nick’s the host of the Sing Off show right? He might have a tiny amount of career momentum right now, although probably still not enough to get an album off the ground.

  12. guesty says:

    oh kaiser…LOL!!!

  13. LittleDeadGirl says:

    Ha ha Kaiser you are giving WAY too much credit to either one of these two people but I can ALMOST believe that he is doing that but I think that’s more cause you keep giving him your voice and devious mind when I don’t think he’s bright enough to do something that funny.

  14. LisaMarie says:

    Haha, reminds me of a frenemy my parents used to have. He always had to one-up everyone he knew, so my dad would always mess with him. When my parents were building a house my dad went into great detail about how he was going to put a huge game-room in the basement with an expensive pool table and all that stuff. Anyway, he never actually planned on doing it, but within a week the frenemy had gone out and bought a huge pool table and turned his own basement into a game room. My parents still laugh about it 20 some years later.

  15. lucy2 says:

    That’s hilarious, but I too doubt either of them are capable of mind games.
    If she does get married that soon, she’ll be making a big mistake.

  16. Sunnyjyl says:

    He’s just going to show up? Isn’t this the big reason Jessica left Nick? He didn’t emotionally connect and want to be a part of planning their life and sharing all of the important moments together. Doesn’t sound like he grew from the break up. I sure hope his new wife doesn’t care about that sort of thing.

  17. LittleDeadGirl says:

    LisaMarie: I bow to your father’s deviousness man … I am IMPRESSED … all of us has a friend like that and we dream of doing the same but your father did it. Kudos to him!

  18. C-Love says:

    Love the scenario, but I doubt Nick gives two shits when Jessica gets married or what she does. After having moved on to someone whose father doesn’t insist on a relationship 3-way all the time, he’s likely to be so thrilled about being free of her and her absurd famewhoring that he barely gives her a second thought. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference, and I believe he is mostly indifferent to her. And I’m sure it drives Jessica cuh-raaazy.

  19. anoneemouse says:

    Hilarious post! And probably TRUE

  20. mln76 says:

    @#19 Nick is aware of what he is getting into, he has been with Vanessa for years you sound like the bitter one.

  21. Iggles says:

    Sunnyjyl – I complete disagree.

    He sounds like a no drama groom! He’s wants her to have the wedding of her dreams and isn’t fighting her on the details! What’s the problem with that? Better to have a supportive husband/fiance than a groomzilla primadonna!

    To me it sounds like he realizes the wedding is just ONE DAY out of the rest of their lives together. He’s aware of that instead of gunning for the flashiest wedding.

  22. guesty says:

    @susanne…she so does! ha.

  23. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    He’s an evil little troll..

    I never have found anything remotely cute about him, but he may very well indeed be taunting her.

  24. Kim says:

    NO it doesnt seem like Nick is challenging Jessica at all. I dont think he gives a rats behind about Jessica and even less so about when she gets married.

  25. vanessa says:

    I bet he looks at Vanessa and thanks God everday he and Jessica split up, otherwise he’d be waking up next to that farting, belching, wooly mammoth.

  26. beanie says:

    I think Nick has been over Jessica and is just throwing hints to the press. I do think Vanessa will want a full tilt wedding complete with photos of them everywhere, though.

  27. Hakura says:

    Heh, this is great. It would be hilarious if she really did fall for that… though even I would feel a bit bad for her to realize she’d been duped, totally intentionally.

  28. Bitter fruit says:

    Whoah Jessica still has tards?

  29. Dana M says:

    Love it, Kaiser!!! Thanks for the LOLs!!!

    “Wave something shiny in front of JS” Ha!!! “These are not the droids you’re looking for” LOL!!!

  30. I Choose Me says:

    Hilarious write-up Kaiser. I lol’d from beginning to end.

    “Farty McObvious.” Snicker. Snort.

  31. lol says:

    & you know whats even funnier they could get married & no one know it too for a very long time. There is the confidentiality clause in Cali as living together & previously married is all part of it.. They can sit on it for years so who is the joke on really. I can see this happening for sure. Everyone thinks Jess will make some big announcement but what if she doesn’t. You will never know. lol

    Actually its kinda a neat law isn’t it.

    There also is a very good reason Jess has not spoken to Nick in five years & Joe will continue to be the scapegoat on that but its not all Joe.

  32. Hakura says:

    @lol – It is a neat law.

    And I may be completely wrong, but for some reason I can’t see Jess sitting on anything without making the world aware of it. (And… that came across in a way I didn’t mean for it to. xD But WTH.)

    She just comes across to me as needing reassurance… wanting reactions from people. She’s been in the public eye for so long that it almost seems like she may not know how to function without it.

  33. Trippin says:

    They remind me of J-Lo and Ben Affleck, he’s so doughy looking.

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