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Ashton Kutcher is the cover boy for the February issue of Men’s Fitness. Unlike past cover models, like Rob Lowe, Charlie Hunnam and The Situation, Kutcher does not deign to pose shirtless either on the cover or in his pictorial. (Boo!) They only use a shirtless picture of Kutcher from that terrible Killers movie, with what’s her face – Katherine Heigl. Inside, Kutcher discusses why he works out like a fiend, and it’s all because he wants to be able to save his family in the event of an apocalypse. The journalist claims that Kutcher discusses this in all seriousness, and the way that he goes on about it suggests he really does think some massive world-crushing event will happen in his lifetime and that only the quickest and strongest will survive.
Kutcher says he trains because he believes all hell is going to break loose someday, and when it does, only the meanest, smartest and strongest will survive. He intends to be among them.
That’s why, as he jogs up the steepest of grades at Runyon Canyon near his Los Angeles home, he pretends he is being chased by wild boars or aliens, whatever civilization-crushing beings the 32-year-old mentally conjures up that day. It’s why he endures hours of blazing hot Bikram yoga, pretending he’s in the desert with no water. And it’s why he started learning Krav Maga, a hand-to-hand combat technique developed by the Israeli army and taught to special elite forces around the world. All of it in order to be prepared – for anything. “If the sh*t hits the fan,” Kutcher says, “you can get out of the sh*t…”
He says that in the practice [of Krav] he found his purpose: saving his loved ones from Armageddon.
“It won’t take very much, I’m telling you,” he says passionately. “It will not take much for people to hit the panic button. The amount of convenience that people rely on based on electricity alone. You start taking out electricity and satellites, and people are going to lose their noodle.” He continues with exasperation. “People don’t have maps anymore,” he says, his voice rising with incredulity. “People use their iPhones or GPS systems, so if there’s no electricity, nobody has maps.
“And people are going to go, ‘That land’s not yours, prove that it’s yours,’ and the only thing you have to prove it’s yours is on an electric file. Then it’s like, ‘What’s the value of currency, and whose food is whose?’ People’s alarm systems at their homes will no longer work. Neither will our heating, our garbage disposals, hot-water heaters that run on gas but depend on electricity – what happens when all our modern conveniences fail? I’m going to be ready to take myself and my family to a safe place where they don’t have to worry.”
Talking to Kutcher, it’s easy to think that maybe his end-of-the-world rant is just another big Punk’d prank, but he’s serious. So serious, in fact, that one of his favorite memories in years was last Christmas, when he and his family lost power for 14 hours at their Southern California mountain cabin. “It was 20 below zero,” he says. “I got my guns out. We made a fire. We went to the grocery store, and the doors were open because they’re all electronic. People were rolling in and out, clearing out the shelves.
“I’m telling you, it was like a preview [of what's to come]… All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I care about.”
[From Men's Fitness, print edition, February, 2011]
People should use whatever works for them and motivates them to work out. I picture myself in a bikini by the pool. It’s probably not as vivid a scenario as running away from a pack of flesh-eating zombies, hence the easy excuses I make for skipping the gym. I get how scary an apocalypse seems. For me the more I watched Walking Dead and read the comics the more realistic an end-days type of situation seemed. Now that it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve seen a Hollywood zombie, I realize that it’s totally foolish to be scared by a creative story and some excellent special effects. But I did look closely at this one year emergency supply of dried food at Costco. It was $3,000 for four people and has since sold out. That would last Ashton and Demi over a decade. They probably purchased enough food for 30 years and have a whole underground bunker prepared, complete with stockpiled Kabbalah water, a gym and a backup personal trainer who lives down there waiting to be of service when the world as we know it ends. Maybe it will end up being a big cosmic joke to Kutcher when only the fattest people are immune to the “virus” leaked by the secret biodefense lab.
Photos from Men’s Fitness print edition, where there are more.
Written by Celebitchy
Posted in Ashton Kutcher, Fitness, Photos
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56 Responses to “Ashton Kutcher works out to save his family from Armageddon (really)”
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A lot of people are thinking the way Ashton is though. You would be surprised.
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If any hell breaks out around Ashton, Demi will be saving him from getting his ass kicked by some 9th grader.
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LMOL! Sounds like he’s confused and possibly internally competing with Bruce after watching Armageddon and the Tribulation series! Someone should let him know that Armageddon was just a movie and perhaps he SHOULD watch the The Tribulation series, b/c if he wants to avoid that kind of chaos physical strength wouldn’t be the anti-dote. I wonder if this is in any way related to his current religious teachings? Or perhaps he’s fronting and actually training for self-defense when Demi decides to give him a beat down over all his alleged indiscretions!
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I think he is a nut.. but I agree on some level. I have a paper copy of everything important in my life. EVERYTHING. People do depend too much on electronics. When the power goes out a few hours people loose their minds. I pull out the grill and keep my coals just in case. And yep I have maps.. tons of maps. so while I go huh..I still think people need to become more aware and learn to live without the computers and all these devices. If they lost their cell phones many would need medical assistance.
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None of that will save him from the zombies.
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Well, I guess if you don’t have brain power, you need to make it up with muscle power.
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“If any hell breaks out around Ashton, Demi will be saving him from getting his ass kicked by some 9th grader.”
that’s exactly what I was thinking
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“Maybe it will end up being a big cosmic joke to Kutcher when only the fattest people are immune to the “virus” leaked by the secret biodefense lab.”
Genius.
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Love the prominent featuring of the wedding ring and the description of the dedication to saving his entire family. Like if this were to really go down, he wouldn’t quickly snag a skanky club girl & save her from the Armageddon with… A big ArmagedDONG..
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Me thinks the super power of photoshop was involved in this cover.
I don’t know if it will be Armageddon, but it wouldn’t hurt anyone to be a little more prepared than we are. This is a bizarre world. I started a garden last year- just not sure how long we can survive on basil and thai peppers.
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keeping fit in order to kick the *ss of the next person who makes fun of rumor’s potatoe head !!!!! yes grasshopper….
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zombies eat brains, no?
I think they’ll both be OK
The terrible thing is that those two will repopulate Earth later….
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Even if you actually thought this, would you be such a moron as to express it in an interview?
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This interview is definitely a farce. He clearly can’t be serious for one second. I don’t know how anyone can take this cradle baby serious if he can’t do a serious interview for Men’s Health. I doubt he is a stupid guy, but immature, most definitely.
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@Happymom — yes, yes he would.
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i wish he’d save me with his “armegedong”! HAHA.
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sounds like ashton has been watching a helluva alot of movies!
btw…that wiki guy…he had a full on bunker. think i saw that on regis & kelly when nick lachey was co-hosting.
guess some peeps seriously believe in 2012 being the end of it all.
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He is a ridicules human being.
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You think that his need to protect his fam could have anything to do with his ex-girlfriend being murdered at her home ?
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It’s true that a lot of people are expecting some day, although it could be many years from 2012, that there will be some sort of turning point in earth’s history, in which we’re set back to primary basics for a while.
So to learn how to be self reliant like growing your own food and being able to deal with situations without the help of electronics isn’t such a bad idea. Some even are predicting a period in America where martial law is at hand and those who are “unprepared” will not make it.
However, it might not even happen in his and our time. A lot of what he’s stating is based on old prophecies and since kabbalah has not proven to be very reliable, I doubt that AK will be able to show off his Krav Maga skills to anyone, besides in this editorial of Men’s Fitness.
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“It’s true that a lot of people are expecting some day, although it could be many years from 2012, that there will be some sort of turning point in earth’s history, in which we’re set back to primary basics for a while.”
i’m still amazed a disease like the plague hasn’t spread out like in the Middle Ages. Can u imagine a violent airborne virus these days? shit would spread really fast! And one the plagues killed more than half of the population. And add to that fact the someone could release somrthing on porpuse!
That’s why I’m scared of riding the nyc subway, it makes me think of bio terrorist attacks. i just keep thinking the next time they try something that’s the way they’ll do it. maybe its those damn “if u see something, say something ads.”
ok i sound just as ridiculous and crazy as ashton now. sorry
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and if something was released in the subway, not riding it would not save me anyways since it would spread fast so i guess it isn’t rational
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You have got to be effing kidding me.
You have to shoot the zombies in the head, not plummel them.won’t work!
What has he been smoking? He sounds crazy..
Guess what Ashton,
I have a map!
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work on your brain or acting instead
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@ Rita
If any hell breaks out around Ashton, Demi will be saving him from getting his ass kicked by some 9th grader
=========
Thank You for that laugh. priceless
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his body isnt attractive though
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He is an idiot.
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I hate to admit it, but I’m riding the crazy train right along with Ashton. I don’t put much stock in civilities. It isn’t going to be a plague or a natural disaster that threatens humanity – we’re our own worst enemies.
I’ve been marathon training with the sole intention of pushing my body to its physical limits. . . “just in case”.
I’ve also been gardening and composting year round, drying and canning reserves – and the boyfriend and I scout locations and “remind” each other of important camps/meeting places. We each have our survival gear/maps packed and ready to go in case of an emergency.
You may think it’s stupid or superstitious, but I don’t trust mankind. We’re an overwhelmingly narcissistic, opportunistic (read: “inherently bad”) collective of animals, and when the shit hits the fan, I want to be able to depend on myself for protection.
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“only the fattest people are immune to the “virus”
Ha! Genius! Guess I don’t have to work off the holiday feast. Well, I didn’t eat much since I had a root canal on Thursday. NOT planned! I got the Walking dead comic book series for Christmas! Hope It hold up to the hype! Can’t wait to start it! Any 1 heard when it’s coming back? Please NOT October!!!!
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Good luck.
I dont think anything is gonna happen anytime soon, so, if you want to get in shape, do survivalist stuff and live your life in fear, then go ahead.
I would rather meet my maker when my time is up then to live with zombies and disasters.
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Who knows if this will ever happen, but whats the harm in having a “Plan B”?
Worst case.. ZOMBIES DEATH AND DISCTRUCTION! okay seriously.. natural disasters, terror attack ect.. And they live in earthquake country.
Best case.. you are in shape, have a plan and are very organized.
Lets face it.. as 2012 comes closer, some people will loose their ever loving minds, and some weird shit will go down. (remember the Hallies comment bunch? the Y2K crazy stuff)
Maybe I kinda get this line of thinking, because I grew up in earthquake country, and now live in Tornado Alley.. but I always have a “Plan B” in the back of my mind.
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So pretty, yet so douchey.
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Who cares he’s such a has been and I used to think he was so hot.
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He also clearly stated on “Real Time” that he is a republican and he was raised conservative in iowa or somewhere. Demi and Bruce W. have all kinds of land in idaho and all over the place, they are all conservative whack-a-doos. Smoke a spliff and chill out dude, almost every culture in history has thought there lifetime was the end of the world, and yet here we are. It’s celebrities and public people like him that instill fear in people by acting all paranoid. If he wasnt rich and was saying the same thing on a street corner people would say he belongs in a mental institution.
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Oh, it’s also funny to think someone who is training for an end of the world militia type thing would stop and pose for Men’s Fitness along the way and get his make up on and his hair did.
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My personal approach is to do the minimum. That way, when all hell breaks loose, my fat ass will be one of the first to die, saving me the agony of terror of trying to survive.
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LOL-birdgherl. Great comment.
All you have to do is a quick search of doomsday predictions and you will see that some people are doing crazier things in order to survive. I think one man moved to a certain place in Africa that is supposed to not end up covered in water.
I took a class in Evolutionary Biology and we learned about how viruses and bacteria are evolving and becoming resistant to drugs.
And then there are the doctors keep prescribing antibiotics for the sniffles and people keep popping them like candy. That worries me.
I think that perhaps he should spend less time in the gym and more time learning to be a bit more like McGyver. I mean, what’s the point of all this training if you can’t fasten a flame thrower out of a toothpick and a rubber band?
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I agree that at some point our current way of living will fail. Those that will survive will be those who know how to live off the land. Indeed, the West looks down upon Third World countries but those people know how to look after their basic needs without electricity, a GPS, or blackberry. Both my parents grew up on farms and know how to hunt, fish, garden, can their food, ride horses, shoot a gun, and build fire without aid of matches or lighters. What can I do? I can program their PVR, fix their printer, and configure their GPS.
Whose going to survive?
They will.
However, I have the handy cyanide pill just in case of emergency.
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Mr Liana is like such a McGyver. Honestly. It’s scary. Our cabin in upstate NY is solar and we compost and have a garden both upstate and downstate. We pretty much live close to off the grid upstate. Eventually, we’d like to move our whole base of operations up there. Then the only zombies we’d have to deal with are the summer tourists.
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He’s so smarmy. So totally obnoxious in those camera ads. Now what…he’s trying to prove he’s a real grownup man? If it wasn’t for twitter, he and Demi would have a very boring life.
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Ugh. And this idiot has over 6 million Twitter followers? What is wrong with people.
Don’t worry Ashton, you won’t have long to wait. The Rapture’s a-comin’.
http://www.tennessean.com/article/20101201/NEWS06/12010350/Nashville-billboards-claim-Jesus-will-return-May-21-2011
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He’s a douche.
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“Lets face it.. as 2012 comes closer, some people will loose their ever loving minds, and some weird shit will go down.”
Yup, this is a 2012 freak out. I can’t believe he gave an interview to a national magazine where he’s basically saying, “OMFG, the sky is falling!”
In the late 90s I knew people who were actually picking up and moving to a higher elevation to avoid the floods that would somehow happen when Jesus came back in 2000. This is the same silliness.
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Please stop spreading the 2012 bullshit. Not those who get that it’s crap, but for those out there who go off spouting this crap and believe.
Read up, the Mayans were not very good at predicting anything, thought mass human sacrifice was the way to appeasing their gods which failed, and the History Channel will show any Doomsday/Atlantis/Nostradamus scenario that gets them a rating in between somewhat more real shows. 2012 is just yesterday’s Y2k only with zero reasoning and many a misinterpretation of Mayan beliefs anyway. Please use brains.
As for Ashton, yes, he’s both stupid and douchey. I know my limits — no way will I ever know if this was a Punk’d, or Ashton’s brains on Kabbalah. I wonder if it’s just Demi’s mind control? He said in interviews she’s disappointed his body is not up to it’s “potential” so maybe she found a way to scare up some hot muscle to ride? Even without 2012 b.s., celebs do give us so many great mysteries.
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He is gorgeous
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@ #44:
great comment. I personally came across a lot of people who are so into this whole 2012 lie, when most of the information is false and just lives inside their heads.
I think it’s good he gave this interview, so it will give others a platform to discuss and warn against these harmfull ideas, which tend to drag people into a negative spiral of fear and feelings of unsafety, therefore creating a self fulfilling prophecy.
The more people believe this shit , spread it and act upon it, the more it will serve those who want to disrupt our society.
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The significance of 2012 is, according to Tibetan monk remote viewers, that is when the aliens will reveal themselves to humanity.
Obviously, an event like that would be the “end” of the world as we know it. Makes perfect sense that would be as far as the Mayan calendar will go because a completely new “cycle” of human existence will begin.
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@TruthzBetta #44- ITA. I’m constantly shocked at how many people so easily buy into this crap, even when they lived through the whole ‘Y2K’ insanity, only to realize it was complete bullshit.
You think people would learn.
And am I the only one who doesn’t think Ashton looks ANYTHING like himself, in these pictures? It looks like they photoshop-ed the hell out of him. I’ve never been able to stand him, he always comes off so full of himself.
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Southern California mountain cabin. “It was 20 below zero,”
Southern California … 20 below zero???
What California is he talking about? It was probably a record cold of 20 degrees above zero.
You haven’t seen cold till you spent some time in “fly-over” country (Midwest), and yes the blizzards can kill the electric for a time, and yes we all get through those outages.
This boy probably does not know a thing about roughing it, Southern California can do that to you.
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Just to prove my point:
SoCal low = 27 degrees in 1946 & 2010
http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2010/11/26/record-breaking-cold-sweeps-through-california/
Ohio low = -39 degrees in 1994
http://www.ohiohistorycentral.org/qf-weather.php
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Hmmm…I studied Krav Maga for over a year, and never once thought about the apocalypse. I’m wondering how learning a useful martial art leads to that kind of thinking?
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I’m a huge end of world movie fan and joke about it but to honestly prepare for it? Really?
First of all there is no way to prepare for a disaster it’s why it’s a disaster. If it’s natural causes, a plague, or nuclear bombs and the chances are that 60 or 70% will die what makes anyone believe they will be in the 30% that live? I go with stats and presume I will die so no need to prepare. Even if you live and since most people are talking about humanity is shit how are you gonna outrun the bullet your neighbor puts in your head for the shit you have in your house?
Come on people, how is running gonna help you in the case of a nuclear war or a plague? You can’t outrun a virus. It’s gonna be chance and pure grit on how you’ll react in such a situation which none of us know until it happens. But keep stockpilling those cans of beans and water -thumbs up- Also why would I need to learn to make a fire to old fashioned way? How about I buy a gun and some matches? Matches still work when electricty goes out …
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Ashton, 14 hours is NOTHING. Try 14 DAYS with no water, electric, or phones in the middle of nowhere.
And is anyone else concerned that this man owns firearms? BTW, everyone knows that the cities will go first.
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Hate to tell you Ashton, but all the martial arts in the world won’t save you from my Sig and the pair of 32 round mags I’ve got for it…THEN who’ll have the food?
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DUM ASS HE IS JUST TRYNA PROMOTE A MOVIE AND PLUS IF HE WAS A NORMAL PERSON HE WOULD KNOW THEIR IS PROOF A MELTDOWN WONT HAPPEN THE SUN HAS BEEN HOTTER AT LEAST UP 2 10,000 SUNS B4 N LOOK WE STILL HERE ALL WE GOTTA DO IS MOVE SATELLITES UP N USE BACK UP GENERATORS N SHIT ASHTON IS AN EX MODEL IDIOT ANYWAY LOL
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ASHTON UR AN IDIOT LOST IN SHOWBIZ YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED OF HOW MANY REAL NORMAL PEOPLE DAT DONT HAVE CELLS N DO HAVE A MAP DUMASS! PEOPLE THOUGHT STUFF LIKE THIS IN 2000 REMEMBER LOL
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