America’s favorite cockroach with his cock out, Charlie Sheen, is heading back to the set of Two and a Half Men in just two weeks, according to his hardworking lawyer. We heard this was happening, but there was still the glimmer of hope that Charlie and his many enablers would get the message that an extended stint in rehab was necessary to recover from the scandal of hiring 19 year-old hookers from the “Barely Legal” porn series to hold drug fueled orgies. In Charlie’s case people expect him to be even worse than the character he plays on TV and somehow he’s gotten a pass. The guy did “at home” (read: nonexistent, keep your head down and hire more discreet prostitutes and drug dealers) rehab and he’s going back to work very soon.

The actor’s attorney, Yale Galanter, exclusively reveals to E! News that the actor will be returning to the set of Two and a Half Men before the end of the month.

“We are thinking Charlie will be going back to work two weeks from today,” he said.

Galanter refused to comment on Sheen’s current rehab whereabouts, but he did say, “Charlie is fine healthwise and doing really well. Things are looking good. Everybody’s intentions are to get him back in the swing of things as soon as possible.

And despite recent troubles, Sheen’s family is sticking by him.

“They are a very close-knit family,” Galanter tells E! News. “Charlie has seen all of his kids since he was in the hospital. He is even spending time with the boys today.”

[From E! nline]

I hope “seen all his kids” and “spending time with the boys” means while they’re accompanied by their eagle-eyed mothers. Both Brooke Mueller and Denise Richards have been incredibly quiet during this whole scandal, with Denise simply tweeting that she wouldn’t let an adult film star watch her kids. Charlie pays his ex wives a lot of money to keep his secrets, although the people he pays to f*ck him and sell him drugs don’t give him the same courtesy.