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A company called “Garment Guard” sells thin disposable cotton underarm inserts that stick to clothing and absorb perspiration to prevent an embarrassing wet mark. The small layered pieces of fabric are useful for protecting clothing from sweat stains and damage and were used on the set of The OC.
The latest offering from Garment Guard sounds like a joke, but the company claims it’s a real product that works as advertised. “Subtle Butt” activated carbon anti-microbial inserts promise to absorb and neutralize gas and odors before they escape from your clothing and permeate your surroundings, effectively hiding your intestinal distress from the people around you. They’re smaller than a panty liner and are meant to be placed strategically for maximum effectiveness:
From the brilliant minds at Garment Guard comes our newest product, Subtle Butt. This pack of 5 saving graces effectively filters the odor caused by flatulence; Simply stick it in the right place and you’re ready for a chili cook-off.
Each 3.25″ square filter is made of soft fabric with an antimicrobial treatment, on the side touching the skin. The fabric is impregnated with activated carbon, which faces the underwear or the pants and has a vast surface area for bad odors to adhere to and get neutralized. Two adhesive strips are strategically placed so you know which side is which. And at around 1/32″ thick, you will never know it’s there.
[From GarmentGuard.com via Funny or Die newsletter]
If those little sticky swatches work as advertised those people need to get a Nobel prize. There’s no way that tiny piece of fabric can get rid of stinky gas unless it’s made of space age material. If it works, technology really has come a long way.
Here’s their promotional video. It looks like a joke, but again this is a real company and their underarm inserts are well known:
Written by Celebitchy
Posted in Photos
- The Blemish interviews Carmen Electra [The Blemish]
- Rumer Willis joins Pretty Little Liars [Lainey Gossip]
- Morgan Freeman falls asleep during interview [D-Listed]
- Fug or fab: Isla Fisher [Go Fug Yourself]
- Tamra Barney confirms spinoff [Reality Tea]
- Movie franchises that rebounded [Pajiba]
- Why Dylan McKay is the perfect boyfriend [Buzzfeed]
- Saoirse Ronan could have been a Lohan [Evil Beet]
- GIFs from Cannes [Popsugar]
- Cat massages a dog [CDAN]
- Heather Graham is so pretty [Celebslam]
- What is Lucy Hale wearing? [Moe Jackson]
OMG! This is in the ‘your job can not suck that much’ category! It’s like the rectal thermometor (why can’t I spell thermometer?) tester job. GROSS!
I really didn’t need to see the thong insert either. I think I would have been able to handle it more with a plain ol’ cotton panty. I mean… how would that thing feel in t…. yeah never mind
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Houston is a disaster. More than half the city is still without power and water. Why hasn’t Obama “rolled up his sleeves” and come to help anyone yet? Same question for McCain.
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Yes, can see how unpleasant hot air might bring these two to mind (although one more than the other.)
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farts are funny.
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This was actually a product that was featured on a show a few years ago on nbc called next biggest thing….or americas best inventor….something like that. It was a competition type show about inventors. The judges told the guy that “invented” this that he was stupid……wonder if this company stole his idea or its that guy.
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I don’t know why I find this hysterically funny. But if it works, I will be anonymously sending a case to a couple of the lawyers in this office who seem to have no problem with standing beside you while you sit at your desk and letting ‘em rip.
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Danka.
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Anni & Syko, you both crack me up, thanks for the well needed laugh this morning, you guys rock
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If you need this, you probably should be seeing a GI specialist; or really overhauling your diet!
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cara: it´s “danke”. with an e. if you meant thanks in german.
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Just in time for the holidays!
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I think it’s the name “Subtle Butt” that’s “crack”-ing me up. What’s next?
Quiet Butt, Freesia Butt, Neutralizer Butt?
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just take beano. works like a charm and you don’t have to deal with, um…well, stinky butt pads.
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Holy sh*t!! I haven’t laughed this hard since…well, since I watched the SNL skit with Tina Fey.
I need a tissue, my mascara is running now.
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This is great! I’ve got a couple guys I’d like to give a case to at work too. Christmas is coming up and we do anonymous stockings at work… this will be perfect!
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OMG, the lulz!! This is killing me. Guess what my Dad is getting for Christmas?
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Wonder when these will be available to consumers. My Hubby and all 3 boys are getting these!!! I live with the family that loves to eat eggs and stuff just because it will make them gassy!
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Hmmm, so someone came up with a way to make farts smell nicer? Well that takes the fun out of farting in an empty elevator.
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Maybe Jessica Simpson could be the ‘face’ for this product?
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Syko, we have the EXACT SAME PROBLEM! Lawyers. lol
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OMG! Farts ARE funny! Reminds me of the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles.
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A great product…for those who need it and fun for the passers by…Great Invention….
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