A company called “Garment Guard” sells thin disposable cotton underarm inserts that stick to clothing and absorb perspiration to prevent an embarrassing wet mark. The small layered pieces of fabric are useful for protecting clothing from sweat stains and damage and were used on the set of The OC.
The latest offering from Garment Guard sounds like a joke, but the company claims it’s a real product that works as advertised. “Subtle Butt” activated carbon anti-microbial inserts promise to absorb and neutralize gas and odors before they escape from your clothing and permeate your surroundings, effectively hiding your intestinal distress from the people around you. They’re smaller than a panty liner and are meant to be placed strategically for maximum effectiveness:
From the brilliant minds at Garment Guard comes our newest product, Subtle Butt. This pack of 5 saving graces effectively filters the odor caused by flatulence; Simply stick it in the right place and you’re ready for a chili cook-off.
Each 3.25″ square filter is made of soft fabric with an antimicrobial treatment, on the side touching the skin. The fabric is impregnated with activated carbon, which faces the underwear or the pants and has a vast surface area for bad odors to adhere to and get neutralized. Two adhesive strips are strategically placed so you know which side is which. And at around 1/32″ thick, you will never know it’s there.
[From GarmentGuard.com via Funny or Die newsletter]
If those little sticky swatches work as advertised those people need to get a Nobel prize. There’s no way that tiny piece of fabric can get rid of stinky gas unless it’s made of space age material. If it works, technology really has come a long way.
Here’s their promotional video. It looks like a joke, but again this is a real company and their underarm inserts are well known: