Gwyneth Paltrow reprised her role as substitute teacher Holly Holiday last night on Glee. Like her last performance, she was an ok actress and a decent singer. It was still full of cringe-worthy lines and the pungent odor of try-hard that surrounds her like those clouds around that dirty Peanuts character. That’s true about Glee in general though, so maybe this time it wasn’t Goop’s fault that her character had to conduct a pelvis-grinding jazzercise class, teach sex ed and say lines like “sex, it’s just like hugging only wetter” and “we’re going to get under the covers all together and get the ditty on the dirty.” Glee has become a parody of itself, and Gwyneth is a symptom not the cause.
I’m not going to recap Glee, it’s too exhausting to try and I could only stand to watch half of it. I’m truly over that show. You can read a recap on the NY Daily News and watch it on Fox.com if you’re interested.
Meanwhile there’s news that Goop landed a whopping $900,000 recording contract with Atlantic Records for her first country album. According to E! that’s just a rumor, Gwyneth is still in talks with record companies and no deal has been signed yet. I’m glad to hear that isn’t true. Even for a star like Gwyneth those numbers sounded too high.
Here’s Gwyneth singing “Do You Want To Touch Me There.” She launched into this after her character gave a very brief sex education intro. It was ridiculous. Do you think Chris Martin sees Gwyneth doing this and is proud of her? (This video only plays for US visitors.)
Ugh…blah.
Poor Gwennie! She is just trying so hard to be sexy. . . and she has failed miserably. Some people just have “it”, and some people just don’t. I feel sorry for her, and I think her hubby must feel awkward. It’s like she’s going through a mid-life crisis–akin to some beer bellied bald man getting a hot sports car and thinking he is so hip.
it was awesome. just fun.
Landslide was nice.
ugh…30 seconds and I am out. She has got that private school snooty nasal thing going on.
Her mother is so lovely and down to earth, and a fantastic actress…..she needs to emulate her more.
Singers are paid by the number of downloads ($0.08) or albums they sell. If her album goes platnum, then she could be paid $900,000. For an untested singer, it better be really good music.
I have always hated the scripts on Glee but I think they have gotten worse,which is disappointing. I didn’t think Gwyneth was as annoying in this episode as she was the first time.
she’s not going to stop, it’s hard on people if they’ve had some success and then no ones cares any more, they can not handle that, they will die trying to get that high ,status back again, especially the large ego ones, i could name a few others, Jen A. j.lo,charlie S. one hit wonders, etc. they make fools of themselves and when we point it out, we are jealous?
Her singing “Do you want to touch” was AWFUL! I wonder what Joan Jett would think about that?
she totally murdered that song. I cant imagine anyone telling her she sounded good.
Aside from that, Im probably one of the few that does like her as an actress but thats it. I dont watch this show to know what else goes on but I hope they dont have her sing songs like that any more, how embarrassing for those around her.
Okay throw rocks at me but I thought she was good on Glee, I find her character funny and laid-back, which is good when the show starts taking itself too seriously.
Her singing was okay, but hey the song got stuck in my head so I guess it’s a good thing.
I’m looking forward to seeing more of Holly Holiday.
I’ve been avoiding this, but it really wasn’t that bad. The first minute was fine and kind of cute. After that it got long and a little wincey, but honestly I think they know it’s campy and a bit off, that that was part of the point. I’m a Xena fan so I have a sense of whether that’s deliberate or not. And I thought the closing line was zingy and not too stupid.
Oh Dear God I need to pour bleach in my ears. Why did you let them do this Joan? Why? I can understand I love Rock and Roll. That one was over played even when it was new. But not this. AAHHGGG!!! I told myself not to click, but did I listen?
I never got around to pointing this out in previous articles about this glee performance. But, that song is actually by Gary Glitter. The Joan Jett version is a cover. So, Joan really doesn’t have any say in the matter.
Anyway, Glee is the very definition of shark jumping. I mean, that show practically uses the shark as a trampoline. So, nothing they do really surprises me.
Goopy’s version of do you want to touch me is majorly cringe inducing. But, I like her 80s looking leotard in the top picture. It reminds me of the totally leotarded challenge RuPaul’s drag race did a few weeks ago.
At first I thought wow Im embarrassed for her… then I watched it again. It’s a very fun parody. It shows she can laugh at herself. I would LOVE to dance around and “murder” a song like that one! Lucky bitch.
Her next step ought to be a romantic comedy with Gerard Butler; He could play like, a bounty hunter who has to arrest her and bring her in! and they could fall in love! What? Really? already been done? And it was incredibly bad? Oh……
Yeah. Her bit on Glee was THAT stupid.
barf
I loved it.
I bet, all you haters notwithstanding, last night’s ep got high ratings. Gwyn was simply fishtastically awesome.
Loved her, loved the songs, loved Glee, loved how the storyline moved, and I felt so bad for Santana (!) Britana forever!
That said, Gwyn should get her head checked if she thinks she can make it as a real singer, and any exec who signs her should be fired ASAP.
There is something about her that just isn’t sexy. It’s not that she’s unattractive. It’s just that you can be beautiful and not sexy, and I find her to be one of those people. Also, the try hard was extreme last night. Glee is one of those shows that I honestly don’t know why I watch it anymore, it’s so bad. I put it on in the background now.
I have to say about the episode that I thought the Neon Trees cover was really bad and really not sexy. I’m not sure that was the best song to use for that moment, although I like the song in general.
She was kind of hard to watch. Kind of.
I mean, some of it was light and fun, and I’d LIKE to think she was pokign fun at herself, but I’m not so sure these days.
Though, the part where she goes “Girl-FRIEND!” – I died. In a bad way.
I don’t watch Glee, but I love Gwyneth Paltrow.
I love gossip, partly because most of the time the subjects deserve the derision that we dish out, with their outrageous behavior, a la Lindsay Lohan. But I cannot nor do I participate in the napalming of GP, in fact if you haven’t noticed I tend to defend her.
You might not like her looks, her voice, her acting, her blog, her sense of fashion, her choice of spouse, the names of her children, etc. However, all of those things that she is mocked for are superficial, basically petty and pretty insignificant. In this business, I applaud the image she has created and maintained, and for her ability to avoid most run of the mill scandals that make this gossip business run.
We’re all allowed our opinion, so I hope you’ll respect mine. I continue to watch, subscribe to GOOP, and listen to whatever music she releases because she entertains me.
I will reserve my criticisms for much easier and more deserving targets, which deliciously are given ample air time on this site.
God. No one should ever try to be sexy. If you are sexy, then you aren’t trying, you’re just being. And if you aren’t… this is the result.
Lame-o.
She should retire.
I can smell the desperado from here.
Her album is going to be HILARIOUSLY awful 😆 And her subsequent meltdowns over it flopping are going to be enormously entertaining. I hope she tries to tour it.
@katie I agree the cover of the neon trees song was awful. That mess has been stuck in my head all day. I still like Glee. It’s just on my priority list of things to watch like it just to be.
I used to be a big Gwyneth fan. I watched Emma probably hundreds of times. I remember when she won the Oscar for Shakespeare in Love. She made those roles. Helen in Sliding Doors. She was such a girl to watch, telling stories from the girl’s perspective.
Ever since Iron Man, I don’t recognize Gwyneth’s career.
What happened to Margot Tenenbaum?
Frankly, this new Gwyneth bores me. *Yawn* It looks like she’s playing a dumbed down role that any actress could have be substituted in (no pun intended) for Goop, without notice. She’s bringing nothing to the role. She’s so bland, the role is so bland. I’m dying from the blandness.
The ironic thing, is she claims that she works less because a project has to be really good to tear her away from her kids.
Huh? Where did her personality go?
This all seem so desperate. It looks like Paltrow can’t make her movie career work so she wants to try a singing career. This reminds me of Jessica Simpson. Jessica’s pop singing career started flopping then she tried to make movies that bombed then finally tried singing country music which also flopped.
There’s a point where satire stops, parody gives up and both exit stage left. I think it’s already happened to Goopy but she’s not going to take the hint. 🙂
I used to love Glee but they’ve gone so over the top this year. Gwen’s role is a good example of that. There has been a few great episodes but it’s starting to get lame. It’s not really realistic.
I also liked her as an actress back when she was doing really good stuff. I even liked that role she had in “Proof” or whatever. She CAN be a good actress, she’s just not doing it right now. Which is sad. She was pretty good in her day.
Yes, the song was originally by Gary Glitter, (interesting song by a pedophile, right???? especially played for “school” kids), but it belongs to Joan Jett. I kept hoping she’d come in, slap Fishy and bust up the choir room. That show is so full of suck now, it’s time has come and hopefully will die soon.
Good grief, when will Goop stop? I swear this is the female version of a mid life crisis. None of it comes off as genuine. It SCREAMS of insecurity and desperation to stay relevant. Time magazine had a review of last nights episode and the writer summed up Goop perfectly, “Since becoming Academy Award® Winner Gwyneth Paltrow, she’s been on a quest to prove that she can do anything she sets her mind to and that the world has to let her. She can become our lifestyle coach! She can sing—real singing, with a real recording contract! She can do a guest spot on that wacky singing show, because she’s still down with the kids! It’s as if she’s a relative’s precocious child, putting on shows in her living room, and we, all of us, are the house guests who have to politely cheer.”
OMG That.Was.Horrible!
Painfull to watch
“Glee is the very definition of shark jumping. I mean, that show practically uses the shark as a trampoline.” LOL DetRiotgirl! Too true.
I stopped watching Glee a few weeks ago, and seeing a few brief moments of Goop’s second episode, am glad I quit. She is just everywhere right now and it’s too much. Overexposure alert!
the show was great and every one one it was great!
So Gwyneth is playing a high school teacher singing an inappropriate song by Gary Glitter – a known pedophile – to underage kids… way to go, Glee.
I thought this was one of the best Glee episodes ever. Especially since “Uncle Jesse” was on it! Can you dig up a little dirt on John Stamos, please? Like…who is he schtupping right now? Anyone? Young girls? Old girls? Anyone?
Whatever. I like her and clearly she’s having fun on the show. I think she navigating aging out of ingenue very well, god knows it ain’t easy. And btw, 900K is NOT a lot to break a new record, in fact it’s a bit below average. I refer to a studio backed album, not an independent
So, I was away on vacation and I see that I have a lot to catch up here. I wanted to check HGF first, but then I checked this thread… Here I go:
She is trying too hard. The singing is good, but please do not become a dancer. If she gets a bit stiff and dye her hair I will think she is Elisabetta Canalis, haha.
@crumbcake: agree with you, she was trying too hard to be sexy… lame!
@Lisa Turtle: I have no clue where her personality went, but it sounds like mid-life crisis or nostalgia of her teen years (which brings back to mid-life crisis again)…She was a very good actress, Sigh…
Katie@18-I agree!Only Goopy is neither sexy nor attractive.
There are a lot of good looking women who aren’t sexy like Sandra Bullock-I love her but she’s not sexy,Nicole Kidman,Meg Ryan,Keira Knightly,Kate Moss.
being sexy is not necessarily a good thing. when people tell me i look sexy or hot it makes me feel cheap. imo looking sexy is a desirable quality only for s*x workers and glam models or women who make a living one way or another off selling their bodies….
sadly, i don’t think goop was parodying herself here. i saw “country strong” and girlfriend really is that deluded. her performance in that movie was majorly cringeworthy, all the more so because she was trying to act her ass off in a “remember me at oscar time” kind of way.
Joan Jett should punch her in the face.
“So Gwyneth is playing a high school teacher singing an inappropriate song by Gary Glitter – a known pedophile – to underage kids…” Is this true??
Ths video disgusted me, and I am a laid back mother who’s teen tells me everything (even the TMI stuff).
Why does hollywood INSIST on sexualizing
children. We need to be really asking ourselves that….and what we are going to do about STOPPING IT.