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Eva Longoria just can’t get anyone interested in her post-divorce exclusive tell-all interview. There were rumors that she was supposed to get a full People Magazine cover at one point, but I think her “exclusive” just ended up on some sidebar. And now she’s trying to do a big, splashy post-split magazine piece… only Vanity Fair wouldn’t take her calls, I guess. So she ended up the April cover girl for Allure. Which… honestly, isn’t so bad. It totally could have been worse. She could be giving her story to Steppin’ Out Magazine.
Regarding the cover shoot – eh. I’m still focused on what is different with her face, because I think something’s off. I think she had some “breakup Botox” or something. The cover shot in particular is unflattering too – she looks like she’s mid-snart. Go here for the Allure slideshow, and here are some interview excerpts:
On how women have helped her through her divorce:
“You know, some people collect plates and stamps and coins. I collect people; I collect amazing, smart, interesting women.”On her life post-divorce:
“I’m kind of having to find new patterns because I’m not used to having … I’m used to always being on a plane and flying to a basketball game… It’s been … every time I talk about it, I want to cry. It’s been hard. Very hard. I’m just trying to get through it as gracefully as possible without any drama.”On her next phase in life:
“I’m in a transition stage, settling into a new routine, and I welcome it.”On being racy in past interviews:
“It’s hard for me to censor myself, because I like to be honest and free and say exactly what I’m thinking or feeling. Unfortunately, so many things are taken out of context, and [now] I’m a little more cautious about what I say.”On being proud of “Desperate Housewives”:
“‘Desperate Housewives’ was groundbreaking for Latinos in television because the Solises were the richest people on the block — and they’re Mexican.”On her first job:
“My first job ever was at Wendy’s. I still remember the order to put things on the burger: mayonnaise, ketchup, pickles, onions, tomato, lettuce, mustard. Would you like some fries with that?”
[From Allure]
God, Eva makes me want to smack myself in the face with a hammer. Can she be any more obliviously cliché? It’s like she’s trying to borrow heavily from The Post-Split Aniston Handbook, but Eva doesn’t realize that NO ONE gives a crap, and we never really did. Eva says, “I’m just trying to get through it as gracefully as possible without any drama.” No, you’re trying to build up drama because that’s what you are: a drama queen famewhore who would sell your mother if it got you the cover of a better magazine.
Oh, and No-Drama Longoria was making out with Eduardo Cruz for the paparazzi yesterday. It’s like the third “accidental” public makeout session they’ve had this week.
Photos courtesy of Allure.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Eva Longoria
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39 Responses to “Eva Longoria in on Allure, trying to convince us that she’s not a drama queen”
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She’s so impressed with herself. Bwhaaa.
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I think we forget she was married to a french basketball player. She had to keep up with his drama.
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“I collect amazing, smart, interesting women.”
I see it all now. She wants to record a country music album.
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I can’t stand this woman, ugh.
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I’m sure her friends would appreciate being thought of as possessions one would collect.
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Has she done a nose job?
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ugh those eyebrows.
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She looks very much like Vanessa Marcil here, except for her usual rodent face in the first pic.
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I’m not even joking, when I scrolled down I thought that last pic was of Penelope Cruz. I think she’s trying to look like her jumpoff’s more famous sister. And failing of course.
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Kaiser, her face looks different bc her eyebrows we filled in. Not a good look for her at all. Makes her look older.
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This woman bugs me. I can’t even put my finger on what it is about her… everything, I guess. She’s just so FAKE and seems totally unaware of it.
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#6: I was about to say that.
Kaiser, I do think her nose looks different…
ps: yay, i am able to post here again, cheers!
I never liked desperate housewives because I tend to believe she is playing herself…
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Wasn’t she somewhat famous once?
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What fills me with rage about Eva is that she is so damn pretty and yet her personality is like a puddle full of dirty water.
This chick is taking the path of so many famewhores before her: the disingenous interview that casts her as the poor suffering misused flower, crushed under the heels of men who don’t appreciate her.
Please. Eva has a heart like a cast iron skillet.
Over at CDAN, they have pointed out that she does participate in a lot of Latino charity work so I will give her that bone.
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@ Kaiser “a drama queen famewhore who would sell your mother if it got you the cover of a better magazine” Ouch that hurts but it is right on.
What I liked more in her interview is ““I’m in a transition stage, settling into a new routine, and I welcome it.”
Transition stage is going from a married man to a lover in just a few months (was she the one that said she was really really hurt as she loved Tony so dearly) and making out in public. That is Eva’s transition, you can’t blame the girl
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I wish she would just go away, no one is interested in her…
she should take acting lessons for a couple of yrs and then try again but for now..
we’ve heard and seen enough of her media desperation.
Well she’s besties w/Kim K. so I don’t think she’ll be going anywhere, she’ll just become more annoying.
til she’s stoned out of the temporary spotlight.
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Um this is not Eva’s first divorce, its her second in like ten years. She was married to some soap actor and then when she got on DH and became more famous she dropped him for JC CHASZ or whatever from NSYNC. HMMMMMM i think i detect a pattern of divorce and then dating a younger man to fill the void.
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That “collecting women” quote just makes one want to barf.
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Everybody now looks like somebody else, and every brunette at some angle now resembles Kim Kardashian, because they all keep mixing, changing and exchanging facial features; it’s a friggin’ fiasco.
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In the first pic where she is driving a car, doesn’t she look like a mexican version of Sarah Michelle Gellar?
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Somehow I think that for Eva, no one caring about her divorce is worse than the divorce itself.
She has irritated me for a long time. She apparently does do a lot of charity, and does most of it under the radar, so I give her credit for that, but in terms of her personal life and career, I find her very annoying.
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She celebrated her 36th Birthday party the other night with her close friends the Kardtrashians. (according to the Daily Mail)
No sign of Oscar winners Penelope Cruz & Javier Bardem then eh Eva? Yeah, they probably just want you to go away as much as I do.
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@ Queen of Cheap. (Sis?) I was thinking that too.
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I guess by “transition period” she means “finding another man who will overlook my lack of personality and fame”.
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She’s a total fame queen; she looks fantastic in these photos, I must say….reluctantly.
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Wow, she looks like Shania Twain in that bottom photo!
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It’s the eyebrows! They are filled in and much thicker than she usually wears them. Eyebrows can change the whole dynamic of a person’s face- just ask Brooke Shields, Camilla Belle, or Megan Fox
It’s also alot of heavy makeup contouring around the nose and cheekbones
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Ewww. Stuck up diva. Have heard lots of stories…
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sorry, i don’t get her appeal, and tying to sound humble, is just that, trying, not actually succeeding, she has no substance, and truth is,. no one did care about her divorce, she is as phony as they come and it shows, stop trying to stay relevant an continue to fade into obscurity, thanks, we all appreciate it.
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I collect women??? BITCH.
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I love Wendy burgers. I miss Wendy burgers.
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She looks like Elisabetta, George Clooney’s piece.
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I was thinking that, in the photo with the white top and one while “driving,” she looks like Vanessa Marcil!
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Bunch of haters, STFU, she’s beautiful and proud to be Mexican, I love her so much, and she donates so much to charities, do you, haters, donate? Didn’t think so!
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She looks like she would be a sweet lady with that big smile, but according to you all, those looks must be deceiving, huh?
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Looks like her old nose job is collapsing.
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@Maritza, exactly what I was thinking! A slightly darker, sultrier Shania!
@Rita, maybe you’re right about the country album ambitions, then? ; )
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I think she’s great!!! she’s beautiful and smart! What’s wrong with you people????????
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I’m sorry but whoever wrote this is horrible! How can you say that about someone so genuinely nice and caring! Look at what she has done for the latino community! So she’s friends with Kim Kardashian, that doesn’t mean she a bad person! If you look it up you will see her having dinner and being friendly with Obama! She went through a tough divorce cause of her ex husbands ways. Have some compassion! This post is actually causing the drama!
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