Goop: ‘I can be 38 & have two kids & wear a bikini b/c I work my f’ing ass off’

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We get it Goop, we’re all eating too much and spending too much time watching you try to sing and pose on the TeeVee now that your movie career has gone to sh*t. You work harder than us, your kids are better clothed and more talented than ours, and you’re skinnier and richer than we are. You hold the keys to our happiness and only you can tell us how to live, eat and shop so that we’ll taste a small fraction of the happiness and success that is your everyday life. Oh Goopy, tell us how to BE you so that we may bask in your hungry sweaty glow.

“The reason that I can be 38 and have two kids and wear a bikini is because I work my [expletive] ass off. It’s not an accident. It’s not luck, it’s not fairy dust, it’s not good genes. It’s killing myself for an hour and a half five days a week, but what I get out of it is relative to what I put into it. That’s what I try to do in all areas of my life.”

[Via PopSugar]

Thank you so much, Ms. Paltrow. Thank you! You must also know how to have a happy marriage, since your husband actually showed up at something you were promoting. Oh and you’re so hip and cool and you’re down with the black people. We admire that too. Show us the way, Goopy, the way to sanctimony and know-it-all, the way to sell, sell sell when you’ve got nothing left but your lifestyle to hawk.

Kaiser e-mailed me this and I must add it. “I’m surprised Gwyneth didn’t say something about her ‘very best dear friend, Gangster Rappers.’”

We don’t have access to a lot of the recent photos of Gwynnie, but you can see them on Popsugar and Lainey Gossip here and here. Her Botoxy face is lighting up the place.

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83 Responses to “Goop: ‘I can be 38 & have two kids & wear a bikini b/c I work my f’ing ass off’”

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  1. Toni says:

    All of that work and her husband still cheats on her and refuses to be seen with her.

  2. Lala11_7 says:

    I will NEVA understand the “haterade” that folks love to sip on regarding her and Anniston…I’ve always liked Gwinney…

    That being said…she DOES work her a– off…to get that body…and perhaps she should rethink that…because she currently dosen’t have…an a– to speak of…

  3. Cokie says:

    I think she forgot to mention that starving herself and not taking in enough nutrients by being on a wacky diet has just as much a part in it.

  4. Sigh. says:

    “Kaiser e-mailed me this and I must add it. ‘I’m surprised Gwyneth didn’t say something about her ‘very best dear
    friend, Gangster Rappers.’”

    H@h@h@!
    I snorted so h@rd when I re@d th@t, I sucked the “@” key right off my keybo@rd, @nd up my nose.

  5. Rita says:

    Soooo, apparently the vote went against Kaiser a few weeks ago when she suggested we lighten-up on Goopy. Yesterday I read a thread that asked, “Why does everyone hate Gwen?”. CB hits nail on head.

  6. TQB says:

    Look, I know it’s mean, and I know many disagree, but I have the same reaction to all of her garbage as CB does. She’s either trying to convince me she’s just a regular gal or gloating over her perfect life.

    I just don’t get how she can be confused about how this stuff sounds – you look great because you work out 5 days a week. Terrif, you do realize that the average working mother of two would LOVE to have 8 free hours a week to work out, right? She just really cannot shut it off.

  7. brin says:

    …You can also be quiet, just sayin.

  8. Anne says:

    I used to really like this woman; maybe because I was younger then and less cynical and bitter. She really grates on me now, she’s so up herself.

    I remember Aniston makeing a similar comment, minus the kids, about ‘not eating shit everday’ being the key to her keeping her great figure. They are both right but they don’t mention the other ‘help’ they have had along the way.

  9. Quest says:

    Maybe Goopy eats Sweet Potatoes as well…lol

    I never heard it said – she couldn’t wear a bikini at her age.

    I would definitely say that “I DON’T WANT TO SEE Goopy in a Bikini” – there is a big difference

  10. NJMDPS says:

    She certainly is fortunate to have an hour and a half five times a week available to exercise. So I guess for the rest of us slobs who do not have that amount of time to devote to self improvement we deserve our bodies. What a self righteous b*tch.

  11. devilgirl says:

    Who said she couldn’t wear a bikini at 38? If you have a body for it wear one at 50 for all I care. I have seen plenty of 20 yr olds who shouldn’t be wearing bikinis.

  12. gobo says:

    Y’know, I would just love to see her do a wife swap show with a normal working mom with a regular household budget. My guess is she wouldn’t last two days.

  13. michkabibbles says:

    i usually find her insufferable, but this quote didn’t bother me. i get tired of late 30s/ 40 something actresses saying it’s all ‘good genes and sunscreen’. i at least like that she’s admitting to the time she’s putting in, even if i do think it’s excessive.

  14. Amy Lynne says:

    Good for you! You have a good body! Yes, you’re right, that is the most important thing in the world! You have no marriage, you’re disgustingly self centered and you have no compassion or kindness in your shrivelled body, but yes, you have a good body. Yuck. She’s hideous. And the thing is she’s not even that pretty.

  15. Elizabeth says:

    Re : 1.5 hour workouts 5 days/week

    I have my own business too and a life I really “invested in” too (I even foster abandoned dogs, for heaven’s sake!). But I do not have 7.5 hours per week to devote to exercise with a private trainer – and I don’t even have a husband or kids to schedule in. Same old complaint – Goopy is a pretentious, out of touch bitch!

  16. dread pirate cuervo says:

    I can’t hate that she’s saying she works for her thinness & doesn’t attribute it to ‘good genes’. I am of the opinion that too many people are overweight b/c they think taking a pill or drinking diet soda is going to mitigate the fact that they don’t get off their couches. I workout almost every day. It’s hard & it’s not always fun & I would much rather be on my couch. But I’d rather be healthy than watching reality trash on tv.

  17. AngelMay says:

    Yes, because every other woman with kids weighs well over 300 pounds. What a staggering accomplishment.

  18. and on this happy note you can stop covering any news on Goop coming in the future because NO ONE CARES

  19. 5girls says:

    Come on y’all, lighten up.

  20. Nanz says:

    Ok, ok. I’m not a fan either, but SHE IS RIGHT about this one small, tiny thing. I’ve been counting calories and just saw that the Cheesecake factory dessert I had last night was 900 CALORIES! Of course, I enjoyed every bite of it and don’t look like GP, bit I’m sure I would I I suffered* as much as she does.

    *By “suffer,” I mean paid a personal trainer to kick my a– everyday.

  21. Amy Lynne says:

    AngelMay- HA! Totally agree. I had four kids and still wear a bikini (okay, it has a little skirt but my abs look good) and most of my friends have rocking bodies. Geez, not everyone is 300 pounds. Lots of us like me run and exercise everyday- in fact, love to workout and find it a hobby BUT we don’t think it makes us better than everyone else and that it is the centerpiece of accomplishment in our lives.

  22. original kate says:

    LMAO! let’s not forget this is a woman who, in addition to working out at least 8 hours a week, fainted due to an extreme diet, subsists on some insanely low caloric intake and poops it all out regularly with cleanses and detoxes. oh, and also? goopy botoxes the crap out of her face.

    ugh. someone needs to shut her pie-hole already.

  23. AngelMay says:

    And yes, I’m suprised she didn’t bring up her very dear Negro friends, Beyonce and Jay-Z. Sometimes I stick up for Goopy but not today. Her body’s not even that great. She’s looking lumpy like Kelly Bensimon.

  24. Jenny says:

    Helen Mirren wears a bikini at 60, but you don’t hear her going on and on about how much she has to work at it. Most people have to do work at staying healthy by eating right and exercising. Most of us don’t have thousand dollar a day personal trainers to make sure we do it though or access to other “sources”. Her extreme diets and frequent “cleansing” also might have something to do with her slender figure.

  25. daisy says:

    her and Giselle would be a match made in heaven.

  26. Merijaan says:

    Wash your hair, you idiot.

  27. mummy says:

    Oh my g-d i had such a laugh reading this post- cb n kaiser u make my day with ur goop-postings, it’s charitywork.

  28. mln76 says:

    Well I work out 5 days a week and count calories etc but I am not ‘skinny’ because I am top heavy, have a large frame, and an underactive thyroid. So yeah your genes do count for something.

  29. Marjalane says:

    All that and she STILL has time to beg Ryan Murphy for more time on GLEE. You ARE quite the woman, Goopy.

  30. Amanda says:

    I guess being thin and having a “good body” (debatable) is part of her job so I can accept that for an explanation. Can’t she get some muscles or something though? Her body is so… like thin and white and noodle-y.

    She’s on Regis and Kelly right now and looks really pretty. Thank god she doesn’t have that waist length hair anymore, from a few years ago.

  31. Eloisa says:

    She is being honest, I like that she said she needs to work out hard and is not “good genes” or “lucky” like other famous people said(i really hate that), making “normal” people feel bad. She is right about that, i appreciate it

  32. Lithe says:

    “…what I get out of it is relative to what I put into it…”

    Too true, too true. Too bad I hate exercise. Good for you Gwyneth.

  33. OXA says:

    As I was channel surfing this morning and she was on some show cooking. I heard “its really simple all you need is some duck bacon” then I clicked eff off on my remote.

  34. whatyousay?! says:

    stop whining you pansies. even with kids, or while playing with kids you can find a freakin hour and a half during the day or evening (during their bedtime) to exercise…

    the lady was trying to say shes not perfect, she works for it…and you try to knock her down for working for it?! because your too lazy to get off your own ass? You prefer her to just say “yes i think i’m perfect” but you’d tear her apart for that too. confused here.

  35. karena says:

    She gives off this vibe of someone who is so desperate for attention. Is it because her husband ignores her and cheats on her? Is it because she is having an early mid-life crisis? Does she eat too much fanciful food? Please Gwynn, go wrap your legs around Matthew Morrison’s back, cut back on the botox,
    eat a roll of cookie dough and leave us all alone for a while. Then we can talk.

  36. hstl1 says:

    Sorry but her interview with Jay-Z on GOOP.com a nd Jay-Z’s Life & Times site is the real story here.

    http://lifeandtimes.com/straight-outta-compton

    She astounds me with her total BS and I am usually the one saying leave her alone.

  37. danielle says:

    Yeah, stuff like that makes me hate her. Try keeping that workout schedule when you work 40 hours a week, spend another 5 hours in your car commuting to work, and no one watching your kids. Dumb*ss. (That’s not me – no kids, so I do workout 5 days a week – but not 1.5 hrs, and I’m not that skinny – I’d rather look decent, but not like a knockout and eat).

  38. mia girl says:

    @gobo #15 I love your idea of Gwyn on the wife swap show with a normal working mom with a regular household budget It is inspired!

    If she can pull that off… regular budget, regular schedule, carpools, no fishmongers or cooks, etc. I will promise to never say anything bad about her again.

  39. Melanie says:

    I agree she comes off as pretentious, but it is true that you have to work out after children and being in your mid to late 30′s if you want to keep the old belly fat in check. I can’t figure out if she is really insecure or a total egomaniac though.

  40. Sigh. says:

    Let’s not ignore that her industry almost DEMANDS that she be fit ‘n’ trim, right or wrong. Most our paychecks do not depend on our youthful and svelte appearance. Hers does. How many actress (not actors) who are size 10+ (which is not big) have been top-billed in a non-animated/-comedic movie, deemed “World’s Most…” or “Sexiest…,” or been solo on any fashion mag covers this year, or even in the last 5 years? Two, maybe three? And where are they now? Exactly.

    I do agree that it ain’t easy being thin and HEALTHY, and A LOT of excuses do get tossed in the face of self-discipline. But her admitted deprivation (cleanses, detox posts on GOOP), a supportive paid staff, and a direct correlation to pay/career I’m sure has a prominent hand in her bikini-body as well, and would better motivate even the fattiest-pattiest of us if we were in the same situation.

  41. The Bobster says:

    What? No photo of her boney ass in a bikini?

  42. Rachel says:

    Wow, you ladies are VICIOUS! You sound so resentful about someone you don’t even know. I don’t see what is so bad about saying that you work your ass off for your body, better than saying it’s all genes like most of them do.

  43. Qtwerpy says:

    Okay, really? How many times do you hear people complaining that celebrities won’t be honest about how hard it is to stay thin, and wouldn’t it be nice if they would stop with all the “oh, I’m lucky, I can eat anything and stay a size 0″ nonsense? Yet when GP does it, it’s offensive? I’m so sick of the Paltrow hate, and actually really put off by how much girl on girl hate this site is perpetuating over recent months. Let’s be honest, if Sandra Bullock had said this, everyone would be scrambling all over themselves to talk about how great she is, and how true it is that you have to be really committed, and part of her job is staying in shape, blah blah blah, as opposed to assuming that she is condemning YOU in particular.

  44. Catherine says:

    I don’t see what is so bad about her comment. She has the right to rock that bikini after working out that much. The fatties on the beach in the bikinis should be the ones hiding their head in the sand, not her.
    With that said, most of her comments do come off as self-serving and elitist, but then she probably learned that snotty attitude from Madonna and Jessica Seinfeld.

  45. moon says:

    I’m 47, I “work out”, as well as ride my bicycle everywhere I can, because I really love cycling, I’m in good shape but I don’t wear a bikini, hell, a tank top is about as revealing as I get.

    I do want to say, I really dislike it when women wear their pants over their shoes like that, I don’t care that some moron made it a trend, I like shoes, boots more so and I would never hide them. Maybe she has bad taste in footwear and is too embarrassed to show her ugly shoes.

    I do agree with #46 Qtwerpy, sharing an opinion is quite different than the constant bashing I too notice here.

  46. DGO says:

    Most mothers wouldn’t count that much gym time as “work”.They would count it as a break from their real jobs.

  47. Turquoise Blue says:

    Yes she’s snobby, but I like that she’s honest and not spouting that “I eat everything I want and just do yoga” bullshit you hear from a lot of celebs.

    Seriously, who are all you people who don’t have one hour in the day to spare? Are you running Fortune 500 companies or what?

  48. YAY says:

    Most people do have an hour a day to spare for working out. Here’s an idea – watch TV shows on an iPod while working out at the gym. It works! :)

  49. Mingy says:

    @Sigh, I love “fattiest-pattiest” lol

    As for Gwyneth, anything she says at this point gives me reason to despise her.
    I felt like cussing so I read that Jayz interview when Michael K posted it..holy sh*t..the ass kissing was too damn much, I couldnt read it all.

  50. Embee says:

    @michkabibbles et al – exactly.

    I read this as her saying she HAS to work hard to look ok in a bikini.

  51. Cleo says:

    Wow, this was not an interesting post. I know suburban moms who work out everyday too but they don’t come off as suffering as much as she does. Maybe she is doing a boring workout. Too bad acrobatics are more dangerous than pilates because I bet a lot of moms would enjoy having their lymph nodes drained hanging upside down in the air instead of doing some vinyasa.

  52. meg says:

    Wait- didn’t she admit her diet was so out of whack that she already has osteoporosis? We’re supposed to be impressed with that??

  53. Racheal says:

    I’d work my ass off, too, literally, if I had the luxury to do it. Maids, cooks, nannies, oh my. Personal assistants, trainers, minions, and money, oh my.

  54. lrm says:

    I wish she’d stuck with acting and maybe ventured into fashion…a clothing line I would have accepted from her. she often has great style and she is superificial and vain.
    instead, she has to do this foodie healthy holistic life thing, and the gym,and the music bizness…ugh.
    i enjoyed her when she used to do movies for a living….and i think she is naturally beautiful, didnt need the sleezy botox and surgery ish look, nor the hard body madonna thing….
    anyway, what’s done is done.
    she did not take the path i’d chosen for her.
    LOL

  55. YAY says:

    You don’t have to have personal assistants, trainers, minions, and money to workout. I think this mentality is sad and unimaginative. :(

  56. CG says:

    Well, I can’t stand Goop, but I’ll give her credit for actually admitting that she works out a lot instead of trying to play it off like “oh, I just have really fast metabolism” like a lot of female celebs do. So I’ll definitely give her credit for admitting that she actually has to work at it. Too bad she doesn’t work as hard on changing her attitude, too.

  57. madson says:

    At 38 after 2 kids you HAVE to work your ass off to look good in a bikini, it’s easier for celebrities though because of all the help they have with assistants, housekeepers, nannies etc.

  58. RHONYC says:

    her pontificating bony ass needs to stfd & stfu!

    victoria beckham has:

    ~(soon) FOUR great kids
    ~(arguably) ‘THE’ hottest hubby on the planet who adores her
    ~an ICONIC fashion line
    ~a MASSIVE branding empire
    ~an IMPOSSIBLE size 0/2 figure
    ~more CLASS in her well-manicured pinky finger than this poser

    & i have NEVER, EVER heard her go on like this.

    point- there are lots of rich, successful broads who can still ‘rock’ a bikini, but doesn’t make it a f*cking crusade to rub people’s nose in it.

    bragging is for high school ‘mean girls’ and is just wack & tacky.

    shoving your good fortune in people’s face is a total d*ck move.
    she is grosser than gross in my book.

    goopy is a turd that i wish someone would flush down the toilet. :-(

  59. YAY says:

    I agree with @RHONYC – Goopy is a total turd.

  60. Emma says:

    I am usually the first to jump on the bashgoop bandwagon, but this quote actually made me smile a little. I’m so glad she didn’t use the ol’ “I have a very fast, warp speed–seriously, they’re thinking of studying me at NASA– metabolism.”

  61. IAM says:

    @RHONYC PREACH ON SISTER!! Your comment made my day/afternoon/evening…

  62. OtherChris says:

    I wonder what she’d look like without all the help? And I mean from everything, whether it’s her plastic surgeon or trainer, or the dupe who’s holding her luggage. Most people look older because they’re tired and don’t have that kind of money.

    Oh wait, even with all that money, her face still looks old. But yeah, she’s skinny. Sometimes that’s not a compliment though.

  63. J.D.M.J. says:

    Who said she couldn’t wear a bikini at 38? If you have a body for it wear one at 50 for all I care.
    ************************

    Well said!

  64. Shoe_Lover says:

    At least she didn’t try and claim her body is naturally like that due to good genes. I thinks it good that she said she works really hard for that body- its better young girls hear that then the usual cr@p celebs come out with like “I eat whatever I want and don’t exercise. I’m just blessed with good genes”

  65. Ruffian9 says:

    “…because I work my [expletive] ass off…”

    She’s swearing like a commoner, she must be serious.

  66. Dana says:

    GP should hang out with Gisele Bundchen who also like the point out the shortcomings of any human beings who aren’t her. BFF’s 4-ever!!!!!!!!!!!

  67. Patricia says:

    She used to be so beautiful but I think she looks more and more masculine every day now. Just like Tracey and Madonna and countless other h’wood celebs.

    I think she needs a little less working out and/or a little more food.

    I do admire her work ethic and attempt to be fit and healthy but she has drained the beauty and softness right out of her face by overdoing it.

  68. Camille says:

    Meh @ her body. Sorry but I just don’t think her body ‘is all that’. *shrugs*

  69. Becky says:

    I am so, so tired of her! Why does it seem like she is everywhere lately? Why couldn’t she have just stuck to doing a movie or two a year? It’s not like she needs the money. Her need to self-promote and stay in the spotlight is really annoying. She must be extremely arrogant to think that the world really needs GOOP, a Gwyneth Paltrow cookbook and an album. Enough, please!

  70. Ginevra says:

    I can’t stand her and these comments sound snotty coming from her, but I must admit that I hate the other actresses who go on about how the post-baby weight just melted off, that it was all just breastfeeding, or other celebs who put on these airs of just naturally looking perfect all the time. At least gwyneth was honest.

  71. jemshoes says:

    Goopy is thin, but she honestly does NOT look healthy. Her hair and skin look brittle, her eyes look tired. The evidence doesn’t lie (unless we’re taking about magazine covers and Photoshopping!), so not much that she advocates on GOOP in the area of MAKE has any pull with me.

    In this instance, I read Goopy’s comment as her trying to “keep it real” when she talks about having / needing to exercise to stay thin … yet we all know she has resources (ie money and time) available to her that most of us don’t.

  72. kazoo says:

    ““…because I work my [expletive] ass off…”

    She’s swearing like a commoner, she must be serious.”

    HAHAHAHA. well, she is on her relating to the peasants tour right now.

    i do agree with some others in that it’s good that she actually points out she has to work on staying skinny. however, i don’t understand the point of her commenting on this. like, did someone imply she didn’t work out? she sounds so defensive and haughty when speaking. it’s odd.

  73. JenJen says:

    Is there really proof that she is “38″? I am thinking, NOT.

  74. Peanut says:

    As much as I usually hate her… I agree on this one. I’m 29 with one baby and I worked my f-ing ass off to be comfortable in a bikini.

  75. DrM says:

    If I didn’t work 7.5 hours a day, manage two teenagers, clean my own home, cook my own food, make time for my husband and myself, shop, socialise (when I get a minute) and work on my own projects I’d work out for 1.5 hours per day too!! A more self centred, elitist, out of touch woman I can scarcely imagine…oh and what you’re getting out of it Gwynnie is a distinctly unpleasant outlook and personality…

  76. janie says:

    i have no problem with her being rich and out of touch with most people in terms of finances. i have a problem with her being a liar and trying so hard to be every woman. wasn’t it just last week that she was spouting how mario batali just was talking about how she is the only person he knows who eats more than he does? please. you exercise obsessively and dont eat.

  77. Racheal says:

    @ YAY: It certainly does help to have staff take over kids and time consuming chores. As a single parent of five kids, and their idiot dad refusing to help in any way, I don’t have time to work out. Goop and I can switch places for a few days.

  78. Hotsassiness says:

    Get it together people, I don’t find anything wrong with what she said. You’re not in her world where every move you make is documented. So you have to bring your A game at all times. You’re the sames ones who will also criticize her if she looked like crap. Oh by the way, why are she and her hubby never seen together? hmmmm!!

  79. Newbie says:

    I don’t understand. Literally. I keep checking my calculator, but by all calculations, there’s really no need for such viciousness. I very much appreciate the fact that she admits she has to work hard to keep her figure. And while we’re all different and we all view beauty differently, it’s amazing to me that anyone can see her body as disgusting. It’s not. Maybe it doesn’t do it for you in particular, but it’s not gross by any stretch of the imagination. She has always been a really beautiful woman, and though she’s aging, she still looks it. Wouldn’t it be more frustrating if she went on and on about how she doesn’t have to do anything for her body? Most of them say that. Unless someone on this board can give me a good reason why she’s so obnoxious, I’ll pass. She likes cooking. I LOVE cooking. She’s no more pretentious than any other “cook”. How many times have other chefs or hell, even Martha Stewart, mentioned an ingredient that you hadn’t heard of? Does it make them elitist or bitchy when they talk about it? Thought not. Why is she any different?
    And as for her husband-while I don’t know for sure (and neither do any of you) that they’re together or they aren’t, I remember reading about how private they were in the way they deal with their relationship/press. If I understand correctly, they’re not only not photographed together much today, they weren’t when they were first dating and married, either. If they’re trying to protect their relationship from constant scrutiny by being out of the public eye, then good for them.
    Correct me if I’m wrong.

  80. Laura says:

    It’s sad that she refers to her workouts as killing herself. I love my daily 6 mile runs and crave them like I used to crave cigarettes. Maybe that’s why I’m not as skinny as her…or maybe it’s my love of beer and fries :)