Comments on: Gwyneth Paltrow begged Madonna to reconsider divorce

By: lara

lara — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:52:36 +0000

Of course Madonna wouldn’t listen to GP — would you listen to someone who is capable of nothing aside from imitating you? They even have exactly the same shade of blonde for god’s sake.

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By: Lauri

Lauri — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:08:31 +0000

Tiki is correct in that divorce does more damage to kids than staying together in an unhappy marriage. Think about it; almost every marriage has crises. What married person doesn’t get to a point where they wonder if they made the right decision marrying this person…etc.

The thing is, when a couple decides to stay together NO MATTER WHAT (see, that’s what commitment is), they tend to realize that hey…I’m stuck with this person, so I’d better figure out how to make it work. The usual end result is a couple that has worked hard to make a marriage work, and they wind up eventually having a much higher level of happiness in their marriage. They teach their children, by example, lessons about true commitment, compromise and how to problem-solve.

Much better than teaching your kids that when you get bored it’s time to bail out, which sadly happens way too much.

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By: Cahaya

Cahaya — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 06:12:21 +0000

Plot : what you say is true…my husband (and lots of others I know) do spend a lot of his free time with the kids. Though, it helps having servants and babysitters (most households here would have a live-in servant and babysitters)so we can still go out just a couple and leave the kids at home.

Sissou : Not just your parents..your whole big family is involved if something goes wrong. My own wedding was kinda like the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, it costs the earth (imagine the budget of having 1000 guests!) so you at least owe it to both your family to make it work, right?

TM : Yes, divorce rate is slowly rising but maybe this only applies to large metropolitan cities? It’s good that women are more independent now but I think many would still think 1000 times before the word divorce exits their lips….

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By: TM

TM — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 02:25:26 +0000

please…. no matter where you live…when a marriage does not work , you either get out or suffer silently. Divorce rates in south-east Asia has been steadly climbing. Previously the woman had to stay with the husband becoz many of them did not work or chose to give up their career when they got married. Nowadays a lot more women has choosen to work due to the economy or simply they want to so if the marriage did not work they could choose to leave.

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By: Jeanne

Jeanne — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 05:44:37 +0000

I Agree with vdantev. Wait til she moves permanently to New York. Her accent will change and she’ll try to pass herself off as a real New Yorker. Jeez, what a phony!I predict we’ll also be seeing more of her on American tv soon.(Sigh) Lucky us, we get her back!

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By: vdantev

vdantev — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 16:57:51 +0000

Those faux Britons really stick together.

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By: Janilou

Janilou — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 15:44:00 +0000

flying in the face of a hedonistic, self absorbed society:
1. love is choice not a feeling that is beyond our control … we decide to love someone and we decide when we don’t want to anymore. Attraction is chemical but real love is a choice. “I couldn’t help it …” is for immature people who try and blame cupid or fate or some other such nonsense on their own selfish decisions..
2. staying together for the sake of the children does not mean “I hate you and hate being forced to live with you because of the kids so I am going to be bitter and snipey for as long as we are punished with cohabitation”. It means “You are now someone I would not choose to love, but we have children who need a stable, loving home so I will find whatever good or attractive thing there is about you and build on it so that on a hourly, daily, weekly,yearly basis we can enjoy something about each other and the time we are spending together raising these beautiful children we created. If after they’ve grown and left the nest we cannot find anything we want to base the rest of our lives on, then I will wish you well and move on – but until then I will make the best of our relationship and know that it’s a very good and loving thing we’re doing for our kids.”

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By: Qraig

Qraig — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 13:42:03 +0000

Codzilla: Actually, I have been following Madonna’s career for a long time. She is highly involved with many charities where she donates a lot of her time, money and energy. She also lends her name to many more. I’d say that is pretty unselfish. But, I am sure you will probably say she is just doing it all for the attention.

I doubt the charities and people she helps are bothered by her ‘selfishness.’

Now, I must return to my planet where my kind judge people on their merits and not on how the media tells us to judge them. Zooooooom!!!!!!!!!!

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By: sissou

sissou — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 12:19:53 +0000

Cahaya, it depends on how low your ego has to go to make it work.

In my country most divorces are initiated by women. In my case, the hubby told me every other day that he was just waiting for the other woman’s marriage to crumble to elope with her. I kept doing my best to make it work for about 1 1/2 year, for the sake of the 3 kids. I had no ego left back then, that’s for sure. I even let him invite the woman (with her unsuspecting husband and 3 kids) in our home for new year’s eve 2006 (though I didn’t let her near my youngest one, 9-months-old at the time).

Then when my baby hit 2 and the hubby was still ranting about his regret of the other woman, while fiercely maintaining his so-called “private life” was none of my business, going out late most of the week because he needed to “have fun”, and sleeping in another room, I decided that was it.

I hear in Southeast Asia a grown up will listen to his parents when there is trouble in his/her marriage, so maybe there is a way his/her ego can be lowered and the marriage saved. Here in the West parents have no influence on grown ups (often already none on teens) and anyway his mothers’ advice was for a divorce – since she didn’t want him being unhappy with me.

Hope it helps you understand the West…

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By: Plot

Plot — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 11:49:10 +0000

Cahaya, I’ve had Indian colleagues in arranged marriages ask me the same question – why do Americans divorce so often?

Really, the discussion often goes on for hours because the lives of these women, and their marriages, are so alien to my own.

One aspect in their marriages, which is gone from ours, is how involved both families are in the arranging and the sustaining of each marriage. If a husband goes out drinking all night, you can bet his family finds out and chastises him within hours in order to save face with her family. Both partners are expected to live up to a standard for the sake of the families which brought them together in the first place.

2nd, the children become the total center of their lives – no private vacations or nights out with the “girls”. If you can’t take your kids along, then YOU shouldn’t be there. I’ve always been impressed with how Indian fathers (actually fathers in Germany, France and Spain, too) are so involved with their kids – no escaping after work for relaxation activities. They want to go home and be with their families, it relaxes them – SHOCKING from the US perspective. And they don’t veg out in front of the TV all night in a stupor either.

It’s far more complex than this, of course, but those are just a couple of the things I’ve noticed living in foreign countries.

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