There are all sorts of stories about Jesse James and his epic lying and cheating in the tabloids this week. Kaiser and I were debating whether we should give the douche any more attention after some of the ridiculous and transparent things he’s said while promoting his ego fest of a memoir. I think it’s still worthwhile to point and laugh, but if you disagree just let me know.

First off is this story about Kat Von D, Jesse’s fiance who he claims understands him so much better than Sandy ever did despite the fact that she was married to him for five years and cared for the children he had from two other women. Star got some very catty and funny quotes from Kat’s former office manager, who says that Jesse and Kat split up this fall for a few months as has been rumored, and that they canceled a wedding date they’d scheduled a while back. This is consistent with a report drom Radar this February that Kat and Jesse were going to get married within a month.

Liz Friedman, a former shop manager on Kat’s TLC show, told Star that the two canceled a secret wedding date. “They were supposed to be married months ago,” Liz dished. And she believes Jess is not the right man for Kat. “If I had to bet, there’s no longevity there,” she told Star. She also revealed that Jesse and Kat quietly parted ways in the fall and remained apart for a few months. “[Mutual friends] told me that she was fed up and done with him but then they got back together,” Liz continued… So what keeps them together? Liz offers a brutally candid assessment. “I think she’s very lonely and doesn’t have a lot of friends. And I think with Jesse he’s kind of rebounding from Sandra.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, May 30, 2011]

This one will implode and Jesse will look like an idiot, after which he’ll go to any outlet that will talk to him and will trash Kat. It’s predictable and will probably happen before the year is out.

Meanwhile both Radar and The Enquirer have quotes from Jesse’s porn star ex, Janine Lindemulder, who is writing a tell all about her time with him. She’s a shady character and has spent time for tax evasion in federal prison, during which Jesse took the opportunity to take custody of their young daughter. He’s been working to keep Janine away from her daughter ever since, although it’s hard to tell if she’s the wronged party as there is evidence that she has a drug problem.

The Enquirer has Janine saying that Jesse cheated on her while she was pregnant no less, with Sandra. His side of the story is that they were separated, and that’s probably the line he fed Sandra too. A “source” claims that Janine and Jesse were having problems but that they were still married, together and trying to work it out. The article claims that Jesse and Sandra were dating for at least a month before Jesse split up with Janine.

To Radar, Janine said that Jesse called her up in a panic about two weeks after he married Sandra claiming he’d made a mistake. She also alleged that he tried to send her sexy text messages, as was his M.O. She’s said similar things in the past about how James kept hitting on her after he was married to Sandra, so I don’t doubt her. We’ve seen what a scumbug he is, it’s just a shame that it took so long for Sandra to find out about it.

Header photo from 3/29/11. Photo of James alone from 5/5/11. Credit: Fame. He’s also shown with Kat on 1/16/11. Credit: WENN