Linnocent flunked an alcohol test, she’s due in court today

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This motherchucking DUMBASS. Linnocent has flunked an alcohol test! She’s headed back to court today. This surprises me for several reasons, although I’m not sure why I even bother being “surprised” by the insane extent of Linnocent’s crack shenanigans. First, I was just thinking yesterday how amazing it was that Linnocent’s house arrest was relatively scandal free, and I wondered how long she would be able to keep the crack drama tamped down once it was over. Haha on me. I also thought that the probation department had pretty much given up on giving Linnocent random drug and alcohol tests, which was why her house arrest was going so well. Not so much! Also, it was just yesterday that we read Linnocent’s Life & Style interview where she claimed that “alcohol is not in my house so it’s just not a part of my life.” Haha on the crackhead.

According to Radar, Linnocent flunked her alcohol test on June 12 or 13, and Judge Stephanie Sautner has ordered Linnocent to the LAX Airport Courthouse this morning on a probation violation hearing. A source tells Radar: “Lindsay tested positive for alcohol. The judge in her DUI case, Judge Elden Fox said she couldn’t consume any alcohol while on probation. The probation department has prepared a report, and Lindsay will be in court tomorrow.” Also, the company doing Linnocent’s electric monitoring doesn’t want to continue doing so. TMZ reports that “Lindsay was tested twice last week. Sources tell TMZ … Lindsay tested positive for alcohol on one of the tests and negative on the other. In both tests, she tested negative for drugs. One of the tests was administered just after Lindsay had a rooftop barbecue party.” The probation department wants Linnocent yanked out of house arrest and put in jail. Also, here’s a fun fact: the probation department tried to randomly drug and alcohol test Linnocent in May, but Shawn Holley pulled some stunt and Linnocent didn’t have to take the tests. The probation department is also pissed that Linnocent has been throwing parties too. The hearing will be held at 10 a.m. PST (1 pm EST).

Meanwhile, there’s another crackheaded story about Linnocent’s crack shenanigans floating around. Of course it involves her house arrest! We know that while under house arrest, she films budget commercials for budget auction sites, featuring her budget “acting”. We also know that while house arrest, Linnocent has been “taking meetings” at her home, which I can only assume is some kind of code for “Mother Crackhead collects the credit card number and Linnocent ‘performs her business’.” We also know that Linnocent has been everywhere the past few days – it’s almost like she KNEW that she had flunked a piss test and she wanted to heighten the cracked-out controversy, right? Yesterday, we saw the photo shoot and interview she did with Life & Style. Well, as it turns out, Linnocent had something bigger in mind – she thought she was going to do her delusional crack act for the Today Show. Matt Lauer even flew out to LA and he was physically in her home, prepared to interview her… and then Linnocent kicked him out.

Lindsay Lohan pulled the plug on Matt Lauer last night, just before cameras were supposed to roll for her big sit-down interview.

NBC sources tell TMZ … Lauer flew to L.A. yesterday, and showed up at Lindsay’s Venice loft around 6 PM.

We’re told Lindsay was actually in the makeup chair when things went south. Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ … Lauer’s team blindsided them by saying the interview would be extremely lengthy because producers were planning to put it on “Dateline” as well as “Today.”

Lindsay kicked up her heels, saying she was told it would only be a 15-minute interview, and refused to sit for anything longer. The two sides began arguing — to no avail — and then Matt just packed up and left.

We’re told before Lindsay made her decision, she consulted her publicist, Steve Honig, who agreed it was not the right time to do a televised and in depth interview. Once Lindsay decided to call it off, Honig broke the news to Lauer.

Our NBC sources say producers made it clear to Lindsay and her people before Matt even got on the plane that the interview would be lengthy … because it was servicing two shows.

Matt was not on “Today” today, and he’s just about to land back in the Big Apple.

At least he got some AAdvantage miles out of it.

[From TMZ]

Since when is a 15-minute interview on Today not considered “in depth”? Matt Lauer can move fast, especially when he’s calling out a Lohan on their crack delusions. Lauer has managed to make Dina sputter out of control in less than 15 minutes – he could for Linnocent as well. But I digress… obviously, NBC wanted to do some kind of “Dateline: Linnocent on Lockdown” piece and Linnocent needed to shut it down. BUT… in the wake of Linnocent’s failed piss test, doesn’t it seem like Linnocent did not want Lauer and the NBC people in her house for an extended period of time because she needs to keep up her crack schedule? 1 p.m. Blow. 2 p.m. Vodka shots. 3 p.m. Blow, tequila chaser. 4 p.m. Downers, back to vodka. Etc.

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Photos courtesy of WENN, Life & Style.

 

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103 Responses to “Linnocent flunked an alcohol test, she’s due in court today”

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  1. Sumodo1 says:

    Yeah, I woke up, looked at Radar and went OMFG, who picked this date in the pool?

  2. Gwen says:

    I just do not understand why she isn’t locked up in jail. She violates one probation after another – seriously, this just makes the American justice system look like a joke.

  3. brin says:

    So typical…as soon as she makes a statement, it’s proven to be a lie.
    I’m making my shrimpcracktails extra spicy for court today!

    *waving to my fellow cracktailgaters*

  4. Krissy says:

    I am curious what her excuse will be this time..the tester made a mistake? or maybe she accidentally swallowed some mouthwash…no I’m going with the testing company made a mistake.

  5. csol says:

    IT IS TIME TO STOP GIVING THIS WOMAN PREFERRENTIAL TREATMENTY!!! it is crystal clear that she thinks she is above the law and takes NONE of this seriously!! She will NEVER learn from her mistakes if she doesn’t have consequences for them!

  6. Cuchulain says:

    The Justice system IS A COMPLETE AND TOTAL JOKE! SHE’LL NEVER BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE LIKE AN ADULT….NEVER!

  7. You don't say says:

    I try not to get too angry on these blogs as it is light weight gossip, mostly lies anyway. But what this chick gets away with is beyond the pale. She steals, she drives while impaired, breaks conditions of parole. Instead of being actually punished, she gets to stay in her mansion, throw parties, give interviews and apparently drink. But she will go to court, look pitiful and get another slap on the wrist. Some kid from the wrong side of the track would have been in prison a long time ago. Her special and easy treatment and lack of punishment is a shame and shows that money (and maybe race) can help you get away with an awful lot. That is what is criminal.

  8. Louise says:

    I guess I read on this site because I thought she wasn’t being tested either. Maybe Lindsay thought so too and decided to drink. I don’t see how she can stay out of jail now. Even if it’s just a couple of days.

  9. tanya says:

    …But I thought alcohol wasn’t a part of her life anymore?!? Surely she wasn’t *lying* in that interview? I, for one, am simply aghast!

    Pshhhh! Color me nonplussed… What a joke…

  10. Launicaangelina says:

    What a fucking joke. I have not been following any Linocent stories (including the budget commercial from home) in a while because I can’t stand the bitch. Then I saw this headline and dove in one more time. Fuck her. I hope this is the last story I choose to read.

  11. gee says:

    I freaking love the mess that sorrounds Linnocent.

  12. Jazz says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    *deep breath*

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  13. matt says:

    @Krissy, of course she swallowed some mouthwash! She had an alcoholic dessert! She was disinfecting a wound! She was not drinking and it is all everyone else’s fault and she just wants to WORK okay?!!

  14. Shelley says:

    It’s way too early in the morning to be confronted with The Extensions and The Smirking Lips – akkkkk! Now must eagerly anticipate pending story of how someone forced Linmate to drink Demon Rum, despite her struggles and protests….

  15. Addie says:

    Geez. Does this woman never sit, reflect and actually think how grateful she should be for how lightly she got off and actually obey the rules set for her ATLEAST for her “career” which she claims is so important to her.

  16. Tierra says:

    I also heard on the radio this morning that she wouldnt do the full interview unless she was paid $100,000.00
    I really dont get why these credible reporters waste their time on such a waste of air. Aside from tabloid drama that is fun to read, I dont think anyone has any interest in hearing her lies.

  17. tapioca says:

    Dammit, where’s Ryan Dunn when a girl needs chauffeuring to court?!!

    (Too soon?)

  18. brin says:

    Love the “wtf” Matt Lauer picture!

  19. Seal Team 6 says:

    My guess for her excuse: her assistant, Eleanor, forgot to provide her with clean urine for the test.

  20. Miss Marie says:

    Tapioca, you are brilliant! That is about the best line I’ve read in a while!

  21. Lantana says:

    I just heard Matt Lauer talk about this incident and he gave it very short air time. He said it was an issue about timing and the interview was cancelled, and then Ann Curry said, “Let’s move on.” It really sounded like they were just blowing her off. Good.

  22. Seal Team 6 says:

    WHOA — She wanted NBC to pay her??? I thought they don’t pay for interviews?

  23. Kjune says:

    @tapioca – awesome! And I am going to redecorate my living room to incorporate several life-size portraits of myself. Cause I’m so special, ya know?

  24. OhMyMy says:

    You know with the likes of CS, MG and TC I can file them under “Meh..ignore”. Lindsay seems to push a lot of people straight into full-on loathing with her non-stop Train of Foolishness. Quite a talent there. Incomparable.

    I know I’m dating myself with this line but I can’t resist:

    HERE COME THE JUDGE..HERE COME THE JUDGE!!

  25. DoMaJoReMc says:

    @ tapioca: BRILLIANT!! NOT SOON ENOUGH FOR THIS A$$HOLE TO TAKE THAT RIDE.

  26. logan says:

    And here I thought Matt Lauer and the Today Show had crediblity and class. Who looks the fool now. To fly the whole way to the west coast for this crack head of a flea. This is why she does the things she does. She is NOT worth the price of a budget second class plane ticket. But……..she is back in court, :)

  27. Elizabeth says:

    @ brin
    Sadly I have to go to court somewhere else (for a client). Thus I will miss the tailgate party @ the court. I am heartbroken. I had a 12 pack of Coke Zero on ice just waiting! Sigh!!

  28. dorothy says:

    Not suprised. She should have been locked up a long time ago.

  29. heb says:

    I read about that Today Show thing and wondered about it too…I bet they told her that the seemingly less threatening Ann Curry would be coming out to do the interview and then BOOM Lauer is on the door step.

  30. brin says:

    @Elizabeth…swing on by when you’re finished, our cracktailgates last forever (like Lindsay’s crack binges)!

  31. Elizabeth says:

    @ Addie
    She is not reflective – she is an addict. Every waking moment is focused on how to get drugs/alcohol. Everything else is shut out by addict blinders. The fix is what she lives for and she will tell any lie to get it. I grew up with an alcoholic father, so I know – they will risk anything and everything to get the fix. I heard a reformed alcoholic’s wife on TV and she said “how can you tell an alcoholic is lying? Their lips are moving”. Every time Lohan moves her lips, it’s a lie. Too sad.

  32. lucy2 says:

    Of course. We all knew it would happen, and had her lawyer not blocked the testing last month, she would have been busted then. What are they paying that lawyer with that she’s sticking around?

    Whoever though house arrest would work for her anyway? She needs hard time in real jail, and I doubt that would even work.

  33. Happymom says:

    I’m way more surprised that Matt Lauer would want to interview this piece of crap rather than shocked that she failed her test. What the hell kind of “house arrest” is it when you can entertain?? The whole thing is a joke. And as a pp mentioned, some 20something from the wrong side of the tracks would be in REAL jail by this point. No one else would get this many chances.

  34. Jackson says:

    So much deliciousness in just one post. Thanks, Crackie!

  35. Seal Team 6 says:

    I am making Maryland-style Crack Cakes for today. How many does everyone want???

  36. anoneemouse says:

    And so the Crackie Chronicles continue…

  37. Eileen says:

    Buahahahaha…cracktinis w/percy rims are chillin’ ladies. :D

  38. brin says:

    @Seal Team 6…yummy! Make extra, I have a feeling it’s gonna be a cracktastic day!

    *waving at Eileen…awesome!*

  39. Addie says:

    @ Elizabeth

    Extreamly sad indeed. I guess you assume that the threat of jail and losing an actual movie role would maybe “scare her straight” *Shrug* guess not for addicts like her.

    Sorry about your dad.

  40. dorothy says:

    @Happymon..I’m with you. Why in the world would Matt Lauer want an interview with a ‘has been’ anyway? Thought Today had higher standards than that.

  41. mln76 says:

    Matt Lauer isn’t a good interviewer. He never asks follow-up questions and he’s barely ever prepared with all the facts. He goes pretty easy on his subjects. The fact that Lilo can’t even face him shows how full of it she is. I’m so sick of her.

  42. Cherry Rose says:

    She probably knew she’d get tested but drank anyway because it’s not like she’s ever really held accountable for any of her actions.

    Plus, she’ll finally be getting some attention on her walk-in to court, wearing something else entirely not appropiate for court.

  43. Eileen says:

    I’ll also be bringing a great game to play on the sidelines. We call it “Corn Hole” but I’ve revised it to “Crack Hole” by emptying the corn-filled bags and filling with crack. You play in 2 teams of 2: one can be Team Komucha & the other Team Vodka!

  44. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Boo :( Think I’m going to miss the crack tailgate party as I have to actually live my real life! Only just realised it was today! Cr*p! Can someone pls have some crack’n'cheese on me and down several shots of delusion too!

    Am so p’ssd am going to miss this, to all the lovely tailgate ladies… @Madisyn @Bellaluna et al have fun with the cracknanigans and fingers crossed I make it back in time!

  45. the original bellaluna says:

    All right ladies, prepare your favourite crack-snacks and meet back here right before 10!! *waves to fellow tail-gaters*

    @ Eileen – Oh, how I’ve missed those!

    @ Seal Team 6 – I’d like 2, please.

    I’ll be bringing the vodka-infused watermelon balls. (It’s triple digits here and w-a-y too hot to cook!)

  46. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Kaiser – Open post please? *smiling most charming smile*

    And can hardly wait to see what the Craken wears to court!

  47. Splat says:

    I’ve been having a lot of work-related meetings. Sometimes my friends come over. And I get to see my sister, Ali, which is nice. … When my friends come over, they’re not drinking. Alcohol is not in my house, so it’s just not a part of my life.”

    So I guess lil Miss Strawberry Snortcakes meetings must have been sabotaged by ” Danette Myers” and the rest of the people who are “Out to get Lindsay”… cause we all know that will be one of the several plot lines that ” Team Snortcake” will be trotting out over the next several hours.

    Poor lil Snortcake , more plots to get her then there was to get Osama Bin Laden… and what will the Orange Oprah do know that her little ATM may be one the way to the big house?

    My guess is Orange Oprah Dina will petition the court to let Lil Miss Snortcake have conjugal visits while in jail so poor Snortcake can still see her johns – er- male friends and feel the love that only 500 bucks an hour – er- only true love can bring.

    I also heard Lindsay was asked to submit to and STD test before her incarceration, and she just sent it back with happy faces drawn all over it!

  48. Jackson says:

    I would like three Crack Cakes and a bowlful of vodka balls. Mmm. Sounds like great Crack Picnic fare.

  49. brin says:

    Yay, games too! Can’t wait to play “Crack Hole” (let’s break the rules in honor of Linnocent)!
    I’m bringing plenty of Red Bull & vodka so I’d like to be on Team Vodka.

  50. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Jackson- I’ve got a huge seedless watermelon marinating as we speak!

    @ Splat – Seriously? She drew happy faces on the request for STD testing – lmao @ that one!

  51. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Can someone get me a virgin crack-jito? If you can’t not drink for a month when your freedom depends on it, you are an alcoholic. She has to go to jail this time, right? In NJ, when you’re in drug court, they give you a list of things you can’t have, like mouthwash, certain types of robitussin & allergy pills. They specifically tell you not to eat poppy seed bagels, just in case. The list is a few pages long. I hope Judge Fox doesn’t accept any “Listerine” defense.

    Also, LAX Airport Court? Seriously?

  52. Lizzy says:

    BITCH WILL NEVER LEARN

    Seriously can the American justice system get it together and send her far far way?

  53. OhMyMy says:

    I’ll be dropping off some Crackberry Biscotti with Raspberry Vodka dipping sauce.

    I can’t stay for the whole crack tailgate but I’ll be checking in during the day.

  54. Splat says:

    original bellaluna:
    June 23rd, 2011 at 10:07 am

    @ Jackson- I’ve got a huge seedless watermelon marinating as we speak!

    @ Splat – Seriously? She drew happy faces on the request for STD testing – lmao @ that one!

    @ Bellaluna

    Nope the STD thing isn’t true, but I am sure if the court did actually ask for it, Snortcake would do something like that, becuase I am sure along with her fantasy of being in ” High Demand” for acting roles she probobaly thinks that Firecrotch is just the publics “Pet” name for her ( No pun intended there )

  55. Splat says:

    edit: Whoops, sorry double post

  56. ladybert62 says:

    Put this useless human being in jail and throw away the key!

  57. Melinda says:

    The crack ‘n cheese is in the oven bubbling away. :)

  58. SillyOne says:

    @tapioca nope not to soon…hahahahahahaaaaa f*cking brilliant!!

    @fellow tailgaters I will have mailbu rum with pineapple juice drinks for all and I will be grilling out for the shenanigans..Way to go Lindsay thanks for bringing us all together again.

  59. sapphire says:

    *Hi Ladies* Chip and tmc laced dip for 20? #)?
    I’m not in court today (symapthies @ Elizabeth)so I can leave the screen up.

    Truly, how many ways can you spell “dumbass”? This chick will get it only, sadly, when she dies.

  60. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Splat – Well colour me gullible! :D But I can totally see that happening.

    Can’t wait for the crack tail-gate! It’s been so long…

  61. Seal Team 6 says:

    I think i have time to make Grey Goose-infused cole slaw and hushpuppies with honey crack butter for dipping, to go along with the Maryland Crack Cakes.

    Heading to Whole Foods now.

  62. the original bellaluna says:

    How about some crack-cabobs ladies? I’ll ask hubs to grill some up!

    @ Melinda – mmmm, crack & cheese!

  63. apsutter says:

    Who the F kicks Matt Lauer out of their house?! What a dumb biotch

  64. Eileen says:

    Brin-oh great than I will partner up with you! Team Vodka ALL the way!

  65. Enny says:

    @Krissy – I think they’re going to go with (in Dina’s voice) “The mean probation officers were picking on Linds, they could have chosen any day to test her, and they chose right after her rooftop BBQ! But, the thing is, she wasn’t even drinking! Linds has been working so hard, some of her guests brought some alcohol, which Linds never would have allowed, had she known, and they spiked her punch! It wasn’t her fault, but because the probation officers have it in for poor Linds, now she has to go through this all again. She just wants to put it all behind her and get back to work, but they won’t let her – waaaaaaaah!”

  66. Thea says:

    What amazes me in all this is that a judge, a supposedly educated person stated in the media, that Lindsay doesnt have an addiction problem. The judge really needs to take some courses in Addiction/Recovery and Substance Abuse Issues. I will be curious to see what happens today, but then I know it will be nothing. They should put her in jail, and let someone else out of the jail if it is “crowded” so she can do some time. Because as for rehab, she is never going to take serious, we have all seen/heard that. I do not know how this poor thing can sink any lower. Although I know she can.

  67. Devon says:

    Bitch was getting bored at home and missed her weekly visits to the courthouse. I’m not expecting anything to really happen to her because it’s Linnocent and any jail time would be county. But please issue some jail time so I can watch the crack tears flow!

    I feel kinda bad for her lawyer. Everytime she gets a phone call she answers the phone with a “what has she done now?”

  68. brin says:

    Y’all are out-doing yourselves…everything sounds cracken delicious! The shrimpcracktail is chillin, help yourselves to the Red Bull and vodka Lintinis!

  69. Ari says:

    If she was more honest I think I would take her more seriously. She is such a scumbag liar at this point and I can’t possibly even care if she ever returns to acting. What a waste of space.

  70. Eileen says:

    Where’s Rita with her bodacious Crackin’ Potato Salad??
    I’m going to be sure to brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack before hitting this tailgater. What time’s this bitch heading to court?

  71. bluhare says:

    Oh boy! I had to come over here right away because I knew you guys would have started the party already! I was going to make some pasta with vodka sauce, then I thought what the hell. Who needs the sauce? So it’s pasta with vodka, and parmecrack sprinkles!

  72. mia girl says:

    I guess after sitting around long enough surrounded by Dina’s idea of classy home decor,she figured jail wouldn’t be so bad after all.

  73. Lucky Charm says:

    Your cracktail party sounds awesome!

    Is it too much to hope for that Lil’ Miss Howlohanshego will finally have to do real jail time?

  74. Tiffany says:

    Pork-Cracklins, anyone? Can’t wait until one. 90 minutes until the Cracken arrives!

    Who on earth besides her couldn’t deal with that cushy home sentence beach front with tanning on the deck? What a waste…

  75. Lou says:

    So who won the bet? I was sooooo close, I said it would be Father’s Day.

  76. brin says:

    @Eileen…so glad we are teammates…Team Vodka!!!!

    @Lucky Charm…we’re all hoping for & drinking to that!!

  77. Lou says:

    Will Linnocent’s 6th mug shot be the best one yet???

    She needs to make it so, so her biggest fan, Nicole, can add it to her keychain and coaster collection.

  78. Lou says:

    If I may throw something into the pot for your party:

    CRACKerjacks – Two of Lindsay’s favorite favorites – Crack and Jack Daniels.

  79. original kate says:

    i knew it! we all knew it. where is innocent, i wonder? she has been strangely absent lately. have all lohan’s apologists finally seen the light?

  80. Rita says:

    OMG, let me catch my breath. Looks like I made it before things get really heated. I thought Madysin said we were going to binge-crack-tailgate in the treehouse today. I kept yelling into the tin can, “Can you fricken hear me now?” until I realized the string was cut. My car has a flat so I ran over here in these dam heels. Five miles in 36 minutes…not bad for a 22 year old in heels, aeh?

    Anyway, so nice to see sapphire, brin, bellalluna, and eileen. Hi @sealteam6, I’m Rita. Would sure like a shooter. Sorry everyone but I left the potato salid in the treehouse.

  81. Madisyn says:

    Ok, let me start by saying I got a baaaaaaddddd feeling that this may be only a court date to set a formal probation violation hearing. If I remember correctly, the last time a judge got back a failed test, (it was drugs then but nevertheless, a violation) the judge did throw her in jail and Shawn got her out on a “habeas corpus” motion and because it was a misdemeanor, they had to set bail. She made bail, of course, and that set the tone for the formal hearing, and this latest “house arrest” was the result. So if Judge Sautner tries to throw her in jail, it may not stick. Sh!t, the Judge may not even bother trying, knowing what Shawn will do. But, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

    Now on to the fun stuff.

    @ brin, I’ll start with a shrimp cracktail, please.

    @ Seal Team, 2 crack cakes for me too

    @ Eileen, are the drinks ready yet, I need two. Extra percocet.

    @ bellaluna, I’ll hydrate on those watermelon soaked vodka balls. Those crack kabobs sound interesting.

    @ Melinda, pass the crackeroni and cheese. Did you sprinkle the gouda on top?

    @ Ruby Red Lips, you’ll be missed but like @ brin told @ Elizabeth, stop by after. Theres always left overs tomorrow, as well.

    @ Eileen, missed you. I’ll play on @ brins team Vodka, if thats alright with you two.

    Waving to all the other tailgaters, can’t wait for the festivities to begin. Happy days.

    The post is getting too long, so I’ll post my recipe for 7 Layer Lohan Dip on my next post.

  82. OhMyMy says:

    Her decorating style is Modern Delusional Movie Star with touches of Narcisscism for that “pop”.

    If the jail is too crowded to accept her I suggest letting some poor slub who is already sitting in a jail cell be released to finish their sentence doing house arrest in Lohan’s crack lair. I’m sure there’s someone who will volunteer to hang out with their friends, cook, paint, sun tan on the deck and watch Tron in 3D. Oh yeah, and read Lindsay’s mountain of scripts.
    There you go…open jail cell for Linds.

  83. Obvious says:

    i’ve made crack-cake and crack-cookies, crack-tinis and lemonade. i’m ready for the fireworks!

  84. Madisyn says:

    @ Rita, I’m here at the banquet hall, the tree house for the Tin Can Crew was too small for this party. When the party breaks up, the four of us can go recover in the treehouse, yes?

    My contribution for the party, 7 Layer Lohan Dip, DELUSION REQUIRED!

    1. Weed (bottom layer)
    2. Percocet
    3. Dilaudid
    4. Adderall
    5. Oxy
    6. Vicodin
    7. Crack (of course)

    Bon Crackatit, enjoy.

  85. Lady D says:

    Seal Team 6 sounds absolutely delicious. But I do recommend you try the potato salad. Add couple of Eileen’s craktinis with the percocet rim and you’ll be a happy little camper. Warning, the potato salad had me on the kitchen floor in about 20 minutes. I was there for awhile, you have been warned. And now I’m hungry.

  86. Madisyn says:

    Mornin at @ OhMyMy

    Not to contradict but I was thinking Modern Delusional PORN Star.

    @ Lou, I’m going to have to do some research to see who won. Whoever had Sunday the 12th, I’m going to call the winner, cuz thats when I think she was drinking. Unless anyone takes issue with that?

  87. brin says:

    @Madisyn…your 7 Layer Lohan Dip sounds crackalicious!
    @Obvious…can’t wait to try all the crack goodies!

    *Hi Rita…glad you made it!*

  88. Praise St. Angie! says:

    original kate…strange, isn’t it?

    “Innocent” has been mysteriously missing since that announcement (right after the sentence of home arrest) that LL had replaced her PR team. I think I read it on this site that they wanted a new strategy of laying low, or something, and wanted her mother to stop making “statements” to the press.

    that’s when I noticed that Innocent was gone.

    and Dina is also miraculously missing from her daily press conferences.

    EDIT: “Ok, let me start by saying I got a baaaaaaddddd feeling that this may be only a court date to set a formal probation violation hearing.”

    UGH…you may be right, but couldn’t it be possible that since we already know that she’s violated, they’d schedule a formal hearing BUT also throw her azz in the slammer until that hearing, since it’s clear that her probation has been violated? that is, the formal hearing would simply be to determine WHAT the punishment will be for violating, not to determine whether or not she’s violated the terms?

  89. Seal Team 6 says:

    Craktinis with a percocet rim? Oh.My.God. Yummm.

    Are they homemade, or did you get the mix from Williams-Sonoma???

  90. Melinda says:

    @Madisyn- I mixed the Gouda into the cheese blend. I saved the space on top for the generous amounts of crack sprinkles. Dig in ladies! It’s fresh out of the oven.

  91. dread pirate cuervo says:

    I think since she violated while on house arrest, she has proven that she will take every opportunity to fuck up & needs to go straight to the got damn pokey! No bail & no crack snacks!!! Day 2 of ‘Massive Quantities of Green Tea’ vs ‘My Appetite’ has got me pretty testy (read: crack fiending for LiLo updates).

  92. Boo says:

    Since the judge is so convinced she’s not an addict, she better not send her back to rehab. I can only hope that by saying that, the judge was setting her up for JAIL.

  93. SillyOne says:

    @Boo I don’t think she is an addict either. I think she is a spoiled brat that drinks and uses drugs for entertainment purposes.

  94. Madisyn says:

    @ Praise St. Angie

    These tears of delusion you see on me are because this is EXACTLY what happened when she tested positive for cocaine. They had to set a date, Judge Fox threw her in jail and Shawn got her out with a court order that because it was a misdemeanor, the judge had to set bail. So the Court of Appeals Judge set it at $200 grand, remember? Then Fox said Blohan would plead in front of him or it would be held over for trial in front of Sautner. We all know how that turned out. I’m sorry to be the potential bearer of bad news. But hey, lets look on the bright side, when we have the formal hearing, the crack tailgate will resume and then, FINALLY THEN, we may really have something to celebrate, as Shawn can do NOTHING if Sautner sentences her to jail.

    Remember this is a MISDEMEANOR, not a felony. Thats why everyone was pissed because she can get bail. It was crystal clear last time when she failed the drug test, I’m in agreement with you, why not sentence her, right then and there, and save the courts time. I hope I’m wrong.

  95. Str8Shooter says:

    Dumb twat and equally dumb twat mother will cry VICTIM over this, only a matter of time.

    Throw this stupid bitch in jail already and teach her she is NOT above the law!!

  96. sapphire says:

    Awesome salad and the tini’s are wonderful.

    Ok, this is a probation violation. Different rules, I think

  97. Madisyn says:

    @ Lou

    It looks like we already declared a winner and didn’t realize that it is NOW official. Its, of course, bellaluna. We already declared after the post on the Rooftop Party post, so now its official.

    @ Lou and Blood Red, June 4th Saturday
    @ Blood Red, June 5th Sunday
    @ Ruby Red and Seal Team 6, June 6th Monday
    @ Jeebus and Mary Jane, June 7th Tuesday
    @ Miss Diagnosed, June 8th Wednesday
    @ lilired, June 9th Thursday
    @ Melinda, bellaluna, & Quest, June 10th Friday
    @ Lady D and myself, June 11th Saturday
    @ bellaluna, June 12th Sunday
    @ Miss Diagnosed, June 15th Wednesday

  98. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Madisyn – Yeah! Crack-kabobs and cracktinis for everyone! See y’all on the open post!

  99. girlwithapearl says:

    This bitch is hilarious. Everything that comes out of her mouth is bullshit!

    More than that though, how does she expect anyone to take her seriously when she’s throwing parties during her house arrest. Jesus, what a way to show the court that you’re not the dumb fuck everyone says you are. Truly. Great job.
    Throw her in jail with everyone else. Then maybe she’ll learn her lesson.

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