Denise Richards was a guest on the Jimmy Kimmel show last night. I had a hard time paying attention to the things she said because she was boring as usual and I was mesmerized by the glow emanating from her skin. I swear I could hear it buzzing faintly in a recurring pattern. Cooked turkey-looking Denise was promoting her new memoir, The Real Girl Next Door. She told the same story we’ve heard from her before, about how she figured out that she was surrounded by hookers and johns that fateful night at dinner at the Plaza Hotel in New York when her ex Charlie Sheen wigged out on a prostitute. In Denise’s version she’s both naive and open minded about the situation, which is how she tells it in her book as well.

Denise described her book as a “tell some” instead of a “tell all” and said that Charlie was fine with it. Of course he is, this woman makes him look better every time she opens her mouth. I’m sure it pays off for her to be on Charlie’s good side as well. She’s skirting a fine line between acknowledging that Charlie has issues and not pissing him off at all and so far she’s done that wonderfully. If only she could reach that same kind of balance with her fake bake. Denise explained “I have Charlie down, I know how to take care of him. But not that way. We have a brother and sister relationship now.”

When I first saw these photos I thought that the lighting must be off to be making Denise look that cooked. Check out the videos below though. She really is that fried.

Denise Richards on Jimmy Kimmel Part 1. Denise tells the hookers at dinner story around 2:00

Part 2. She talks about Charlie’s porn family at around 1:00. “At first he wanted me to move in with them, which was a kind invitation but I’m like, ‘this I cannot explain to the kids.’”

Here she is in June with a normal hue:

Fake bake photos credit: Pacific Coast News. Other photo credit: WENN