Over the weekend, I experienced a very horrible awakening at my gym when, to my dismay, I noticed that a gang of orange-skinned, Rave-hairsprayed guidos had infiltrated the corner of the building where the weight equipment resides. To make matters worse, every single one of them were wearing “G.T.L.” t-shirts, but the really troublesome aspect of this phenomenon is that I don’t live in New Jersey or, for that matter, anywhere close. Instead, we’re talking about Tulsa, Oklahoma. Things are really starting to feel like that “South Park” episode where (warning: autoplay) everything East of the Rockies transforms into West Jersey, you know? Fortunately, my gym doesn’t permit bare midriffs, so the dudes had to keep their shirts on. Small mercies, folks.
In that regard, two members of the “Jersey Shore” cast took over Las Vegas this weekend. First, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi hosted a poolside party at MGM Grand Hotel & Casino’s Wet Republic club. In typical fashion, Snooki looked like pure Smurfette trash on a fake-tanned stick:
Meanwhile, Ronnie Ortiz-Margo and his roid-enhanced biceps, triceps, and deltoids hosted a different pool party at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino’s Rehab club. On the red carpet, he did his best imitation of Jersey Frankenstein’s monster:
Then, he whipped off his shirt because, well, of course he did:
On one hand, the “Jersey Shore” phenomenon is slowly driving me crazy, but I do realize that before my last associated synapse misfires, these kids will be over just like the cast of “The Hills.” In other words, Snooki, Pauly D., The Situation, J-Woww, and Ronnie shall soon be replaced by an even worse group of individuals, so we might as well laugh at them while we still can. Really, the most unfortunate aspect of this past Jersey-tained Vegas weekend is that neither of these guidos were wearing Abercrombie & Fitch clothing. Now that would be a true Jersey thing.
Photos courtesy of Fame
Wow, Snooki’s lost a lot of weight. I have no love for anyone on that show, but good to see her and JWoww shaping up and taking charge of their health (at least, somewhat).
I hate to say this, but Snooki is looking almost hot. I said almost. As for him, how can he even go out in public after his pathetic displays with his girlfriend? Dude lost his mancard long ago. What a tool!
Snookie = cute. ronnie = manboobs.
I was in Vegas 2 weeks ago. We had a spa treatment at the Hard Rock Hotel. Ummm….everyone in that hotel – but us – were Jersey Shore wannabes. It was like they were dressed up in Halloween costume, only these people were serious and thought they looked hot. Also, it was about 3 males to 1 female. Unintentionally hysterical.
I have to stab myself in the eye now.
My cousin is like them.. it’s terrifying but entertaining as hell to watch. Side note – complexion is about as tan as elmer’s glue.
Jersey Shore is my guilty pleasure. I don’t think that these are people who necessarily deserve respect, or who deserve to be adored the way that they do. But I REALLY enjoy watching it on tv. It’s a good, funny, mindless thing for me to watch. Do I want to be like them? No. Do I even act vaguely like they do? No. But somehow I got sucked in to watching it.
I actually think Snookie looks pretty good. If she was a tiny bit less orange, and went a little lighter on the makeup she’d actually look pretty damn good. I feel bad for the amount of mocking she gets, though she does bring a lot on herself. Some people are just unnecessarily cruel about it. She’s done really well with her exercising.
All of these people need to disappear. Snooki is fat, ugly and orange.
Wet Republic is nothing more than a filthy giant petrie dish of every known STD out there. Chlorine can’t battle the disease in that place. If it were the only swimming “hole” on earth, I still wouldn’t dip my toe in it.
@Mary jones – exactly what I mean by unnecessarily cruel. That girl is not fat. She’s short, so it makes weight show more on her frame, but she is certainly not fat. Orange, yes. Ugly- not so much. She’s not a classic beauty by any means, but fat and ugly? I don’t think so.
That top with that dress/skirt (whatever) is TRAGIC.
Almost as tragic as these idiots making hundreds of thousands of dollars for the sake of being idiots.
They will eventually and hopefully be replaced. Can’t wait!
dying at the jersey shore infiltration of your gym, bedhead; i noticed the same thing happen at my gym. again, NOT in jersey – in seattle. bizarre tans, scary outfits and the jersey hair… not sure what’s happening.
Snooki is starting to look really good like when she was in HS (yes I did see her when i was 17 episode lol…) so kudos for her – she is the best person on that show (for what its worth)
just so you know, new jersey isn’t really like that. the state isn’t swarming with guidos.
Ok, i’ll come out of the guilty pleasure closet: I like Jersey Shore, and i like Jerseylicious, too. And i really like Snooki, she is so adorable, and looking better than ever here, you go gurl!
Tulsa, eh? I’m originally from OKC. As for the gym trolls…Jersey in Jersey is one thing, but elsewhere, it’s Halloween. ESPECIALLY in Oklahoma. My gawd.
@erinn I think shes ugly orange and round. You may think shes not. People who put themselves on a tv show and act like idiots are fair game for critcism.
I have to start by saying I’m from Jersey and this show gives us all a bad name.
Bedhead, I’m in Tulsa too and you wouldn’t believe how people I know are OBSESSED with Jersey Shore, even asking if I knew some of these people. Besides the age difference between myself and the JS trolls and the fact that i’ve lived here 14 years that question blows me away. I wish they’d get blown away to their own private island to be forgotten. Tragic and embarrassing.
How tall is Ronnie? He looks about 5’4″. I don’t think one of those Shore boys is taller than 5’7″.
….those people were ALWAYS at the gym…. long before the jersey shore show… most people just didnt notice them before!
WTF? Jersey Shore is one of the most down grading and pointless shows out of all these reality shows. I dont understand what is so “cute” about Snookie. Shaking your ass on tables in a night club/getting wasted and wearing dresses that show your huge amount of lard isnt cute. When you step on a show like this you are set up for failure. Maybe these little punks on here should go and get a job like the rest of these human beings on Earth and stop thinking their something special and they are so different from any other reality star. Like seriously how old are these people? Grow up! The show will end when Snooki turns on the show and does interviews saying Jersey Shore ruined her and she knew there was so much more to life and Jersey Shore was limiting that so she decided to quit and persue her acting career and start a clothing line called snooks. I could handle the first season but now its overrated. The only girl I can tolerate on that hell of a show is Jenni.
Oh wait never mind. I forgot the only audience this show has is a bunch of little kids,low life teenagers and young adults. Mainly 11-25……hahaha
Wow. That bathing suit with THAT cover-up…talk about a clash of the mini-titan!
@rachel
I think you meant ‘degrading’.
Age has nothing to do with the amount of class you show. I’m 21 and I have a hell of a lot more class than a lot of ‘adults’. Good for you if you don’t like the show, or the people in it. You don’t need to trash people for liking something that you do not. Nor do you need to categorize them into a certain group. You obviously have an inflated sense of self-worth just because you’re not included in the ‘little kids,low life teenagers and young adults. Mainly 11-25’. Maybe I could take you as a serious adult and ‘better’ than that group of people if you could bother to not sound like a self absorbed, obnoxious in your posts.
Ha! I love that Sammi was forgotten in the list of castmembers who will soon be fading into obscurity. Probably because, with the personality of a doorjamb and intellect of a box of hair, she already has.
@MJ
A box of hair might even be stretching it, haha.
EDIT: Also, my previous comment was meant to say “sound so” not “sound like a”.
wow, did she really think that dress went with that bathing suit?? oh, snooki…
You can see the deodorant under Ronnie’s arms. : (