Madonna won’t let her children or her boyfriend use her toilet

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Here are some more photos of Madonna at the Venice Film Festival – look, she was brave enough to take off her sunglasses! Um… her face. Her face makes me sad. I’m not even gleeful, in a schadenfreude way, about Madonna’s face. Imagine how nice she would have looked if she had never messed with it? In the fantasy world, Madonna’s un-tweaked face would actually look younger than what we see before us. Poor Madonna.

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I swear, Madonna’s lips are worse than Nicole Kidman’s.

*waits for a beat*

OMG, she looks like Hillary Clinton now! I just figured it out.

Anyway, In Touch Weekly has a funny/gross story about Madge’s “crazy” habits. It starts out silly and just kind of “Madge is hilariously OCD” and then in the last line, it turns really, really gross. The gist is: Madonna won’t let her children, or her baby-boyfriend Brahim use HER toilet. No peasants on Madge’s throne! Your move, Gwyneth!

Someone tell Madonna that boy toys come potty-trained! According to a friend, Madge won’t let her 29-years-younger lover Brahim Zaibat use her, ahem, throne.

“Madonna doesn’t even let her kids use her toilet,” a friend tells In Touch. “It’s just her thing. She is very generous, but this is the one thing she doesn’t want to share,” adds the pal, who explains that 53-year-old Madonna is very cautious when it comes to anyone else tinkling in her territory.

Apparently, she’s got no such fears of bed-wetting – because she’s more than happy to share her boudoir with the fetching French dancer!

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Did we need the “bed-wetting” crack? No, no we did not. Because instead of thinking about “haha, Madge is a cradle-robber” it made me think of the wet spot. *shiver*

Here’s the thing: I might be able to understand this toilet thing if it was just about (perceived) germs, or maybe Brahim messing up what I’m sure is an immaculate bathroom, or maybe he just always leaves the lid up. But I really think that in Madonna’s mind, it’s about not allowing her boyfriends to “mark their territory” on her. Because she’s such a control freak and she will not allow a peasant to piss in HER territory.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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93 Responses to “Madonna won’t let her children or her boyfriend use her toilet”

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  1. LindyLou says:

    This is nothing new. I remember hearing stories years ago about Madonna bringing her own toilet seats to hotels she stays at. Her staff installs them for her.

    She definitely has issues with toilet seats!

  2. Marianne says:

    Madonna is finally starting to show her age.

  3. i says:

    is it because she has an elderly raised seat for her toilet?

  4. Ron says:

    I love love love Madonna. Love her. But this look is bad. Everything. Dress, hair, makeup yikes. In the era of high def, all famous women need to have their makeup airbrushed.

  5. Jayna says:

    Spare me. It’s In Touch Weekly. a rag mag that cuts and pastes most of it’s articles and makes up stories. I bought it a few times and realized People and US magazine it wasn’t,

  6. rundee says:

    You´re going to hate me, but I´ll say it anyways:

    She looks good
    and she looks good for 50.

    She´s got something done, yes, but still, I think she doesn´t look too tweaked. She even shows off her elbows and these definitely always tell a womans age.

  7. Pyewacket says:

    She has aged so terribly in the last year, it is scary. She looks way older than her actual age.

    My mom is in her 60’s and looks younger than Madonna, and she has had no work done.

    Eventually fillers and the tox age you more than preserve you.

  8. bagladey says:

    I don’t see anything wrong with that. I too prefer if no-one else uses my toilet. If it’s not an emergency situation (illness) you should make your way to your own (another) bathroom in the house.

  9. jen says:

    Damn! If she’s looking as raggedy as Hillary Clinton-you know it’s BAD!

  10. Heather says:

    I went to her kid’s Birthday party with my ex when Lourdes was a toddler (S Beach), and I sat right next to her and could not help but wonder why she had not had any work done. She needed a facelift then–badly!! Her naso folds were so dramatic in person, and you may not like the way she looks, but I have to say I actually like the way she looks now better (although I have only seen photos). When she got the lift, I was like, “finally!” However, I do think she may have overdone it with the fat injections.

  11. Rita says:

    “…she’s got no such fears of bed-wetting – because she’s more than happy to share her boudoir with the fetching French dancer!

    Is it common knowledge that French dancers wet the bed? Didn’t know that. Is it a cultural thing or does holding it in all day help them keep on their toes?

    btw- Grammatically, I think it should be “she has no fear” but then who am I to correct grammer and spelling.

  12. kieslwoski says:

    Ugh she just looks bad, and for some reason there is a sadness about her and her face.

  13. Turtle Dove says:

    I’m with her on that. My motto is, “Stay the fuck out of my ensuite.” The main bath is down the hall. TMI… even post tumble I don’t share.

  14. Jayna says:

    Madonna’s eyes were her best feature. The DVD I have of her concert was when she was 48, five years ago. Whatever she did to her face back then was minimal and just gave her a fresher look. There were a ton of closeups. She looked amazing. Her eyes were so expressive and big and beautiful.

    Instead of cheek implants, she should have had her upper lids done instead and left her face more heatshaped using just minimal fillers for heavy lines.

    Her next concert when she was 50 she was divorcing and had lots of work done to her face, but no cheek implants. She looked pretty but done if you know what I
    Ean. She looked better the tour at 47, 48. The didn’t even shoot many closeups like before. But after her last tour is when she got the implants and heavier fillers and changed the structure of her face. I hate cheek implants, but theyookike they’ve settled, thank God, compared to at first.

  15. The Other Katherine says:

    It’s those damned cheek implants. They never look good. ON ANYONE. Why do women do this?

  16. Anaya says:

    I think Madonna looks pretty good despite all the work she’s had done to her face but those hands are nothing but the truth.

  17. SkyNet says:

    She’s looking like Beverly DeAngelo (sp?) crazy…

  18. Ari says:

    I have to agree. I love my bathroom albeit I live only with my dog and am single but whatever it always creeps me out when people are over :L

    I actually don’t want to live with anyone unless there are two bathrooms. I like having my own “throne” LOL

  19. Annaloo says:

    Getting back to the issue of the toilet, HELL YEAH if I could not share a toilet with anyone else, I’D BE STOKED.

    I wouldn’t have to deal with someone leaving the seat or lid up.

    No tinkle dribbles, on the seat, on the side anywhere

    Only my germs and cooties

    Would never have to see anyone else’s floaters or other unflushed drama

    kids do stupid things like flushing toys down

    I WISH I never had to share my toilet or entire bathroom.

  20. Ethel says:

    Looks like someone needs an “elbow lift”. The elbows never lie.

  21. Mari says:

    @Ari- I agree with you on that. When my ex and I lived together we had seperate bathrooms. It could just be that I had tons of products, though.
    On another note, her elbow looks like my pug’s forehead.

  22. Princess Lizabeth says:

    All-righty, then.

    Well, to be honest, who would want to use Madonna’s toilet? Might be a bit germy, in my opinion.

  23. 4Real says:

    PUT THE GLASSES BACK ON!

    She thinks her shit doesn’t stink and just doesn’t want anybody to see her skids.

  24. ER says:

    She really reminds me of Faye Dunaway in “Mommy Dearest” in the header photo.

  25. Tiffany says:

    Her cheeks and eyes look so freaky. She would have aged better if she left things alone. I think her “relationships” with her “boyfriends” are so absurd and fake. She is just so obvious and it looks desperate (kind of like the face work).

    Yesterday she “accidentally” left the blinds open while she made out with her bf. It was the same kind of creepy as when Hef makes out with his Playmates. Find some class and dignity, Madge!

  26. hatsumomo says:

    Gasp! AHH hahahahahaha!!!She looks horrendous! Her face. Whats with all the old lady fuzz all over it?! The puffiness! Gosh this has made me feel so happy!

  27. NYC_girl says:

    I think she looked best in the “Like a Prayer” video. Maybe if she got rid of the blonde she’d look a bit better? Maybe? Those cheek implants are horrible.

  28. megan says:

    Didn’t she get the memo about how you need to Botox the Botox lines on your nose?

  29. Redd says:

    Well Madge looks a helluva lot better than Loser Lohan, I will give her that.

  30. John Wayne Lives says:

    WTH? All of it. wth? She looks terrible.

  31. Violet says:

    That is bizarre. I can understand her not wanting strangers or even acquaintances to us her toilet, but we’re talking about her kids and her lover.

    Helen Mirren is 13 years older than Madonna, but I think Helen is far more attractive and youthful-looking. I agree that Madonna would look much better if she’d never had anything done. She looks quite unnatural now.

  32. spinner says:

    I don’t know…I think she looks ok. I think that if people just kept in mind that getting older is a privilege, they would think twice about having all of these procedures. Think Helen Mirren.

  33. Lukie says:

    so they can bang you and sweat all over you and sleep all in your bed with their funk, but can’t use your toilet?

    I don’t get it. Um, that is why God told the Lysol and Clorox people to invent wipes. I keep them in my bathroom. Everyone knows, you sit om my seat, use a clorox wipe when you are done. Even I use the clorox wipe.

    I have the baby wipes so you can wipe up the booty hole too :0) You are all welcome to use my toilet!

  34. regina says:

    I think she looks wonderful and I can only hope to look that good when I am 53.

  35. Diane says:

    So now she’s got a toilet seat phobia. Kinda ironic if you think about the fact that everybody with eyes got to see her hoohah back in her Sex book days. And what’s with those cheeks? She looks like a squirrel storing nuts for winter. She used to be cutting edge; now she’s just pathetic. A not-that-bright chicken hawk with low self esteem.

  36. Embee says:

    @Turtle Dove: Word.

    I will not live with a man again unless this is understood.

    I want to be able to do what I have to do without an audience or a review.

  37. Stacia says:

    The right side of her face looks jacked up. She should have let herself aged naturally.

  38. Calli Pygian says:

    She seems to have some xl chicken cutlets in her cheeks now. And ugly filler texture typical of repeat filler offenders. Ick.

  39. blonde on the dock says:

    She’s 53 and probably going through menopause. Give the woman a break.

  40. DetRiotgirl says:

    Is it just me, or does the left side of her face look significantly worse than the right side of her face? Is anyone else seeing that?

  41. Pamela says:

    If I could have my own bathroom, I would. She is a gazillionaire–she probably has 10 bathrooms in her house. Why NOT have a private one?

  42. japangel says:

    I agree that the problem is those awful cheek implants. Just terrible, Madge. Her eyes are also very lined, more so than my Mom who is in her 60’s and even my grandmother when she was 70. She looked pretty good a few years back, but she messed up her face pretty badly.

    The toilet thing sounds about right for a narcissistic control freak, so that’s not surprising. It’s always funny to hear about OCD-like tendencies with individuals who are/were promiscuous, right? A little bit of a disconnect…but then again, phobias aren’t rational.

    I can’t hate on Madonna for bedding the young boys and actually think it’s refreshing to see that women are capable of being as silly as middle aged men who do this so frequently. She’s just doing what insecure, powerful men have done for eons!

  43. Susie #1 says:

    Sleeves,Visine, hair up or shorter cut needed.

  44. Anastasia says:

    Madonna: LONG SLEEVES. Love, Me

  45. Az says:

    She looks just like Debbie Harry.

  46. the original bellaluna says:

    Lookin’ like a bloated Kirsten Dunstin.

  47. Kara Ann says:

    It just makes older people look so desperate and frightened of aging when they “date” so far out of their age group. I’m looking at Clooney too! Usually, it’s men who do this and it’s so cliche and easy to make fun of. Somehow I expect more of women. Twenty year younger boy toys do not shout classy. BTW, if it’s about the sex then by all means, Madonna & George, enjoy it privately but find someone suitable to drag to photo ops because you look way less ridiculous IMO.

  48. Lady D says:

    I’d give just about anything to have my own OFF LIMITS bathroom. I’m practically drooling at the thought.

  49. Goofpuff says:

    She’s destroyed her face with her insane fight for youth. Sad. She went way overboard.

  50. Seabitchy says:

    I’m sure I’ll look horrible in my 50’s – she really does look good. Her face is a bit like Hilary Clinton though.

  51. Susan says:

    Oh, yeah. What a *bitch* because she wants her own space. She earned it; she deserves it; you’re pitiful. Much better commentary on this alleged story:
    http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2011/09/you-go-grrl-on-your-own-special-toilet.html

  52. Chris says:

    Maybe they kept pissing on the seat. You know what kids and men can be like.

  53. Deeana says:

    Kids, at 66 I would sure not mind looking like she does – except for those sinewy arms of hers. Yeah, time to wear long sleeves.

  54. SEF says:

    Is it just me or is her face hairy? Like, peach fuzz all over her cheeks and chin? Yuck.

  55. Viv says:

    The arms are a little bit scary. With arms like that her behind may be quite wrinkly so her own bathroom sounds like a really good idea.

  56. PhiloSophia says:

    I’m okay with Madonna’s face. She’s 53 effing years old. When are we going to stop condemning women for aging?

    If we were to ever stop doing that (will we ever?), maybe she, Sharon Stone, Melanie Griffith (the WORST offender) and others will stop cutting their faces up.

  57. texasmom says:

    She looks like a well-preserved 70-year-old — so crepe-y! I am just a few years younger than her so this is freaking me out.

  58. serena says:

    She seems and is a old lady..sigh it makes me sad for some reason.

  59. Firecracker says:

    I think she’d look better without the cheek implants too. She doesn’t even look like her former self. The hair color is a little harsh too.

  60. Truthful says:

    that’s where she hides all of her youth enhanced serums and steriods in labeled syringes..

    spooky, she could be hiding a youth blood drained boy in there.
    scary.

    she’s channeling Betty Davis here, in Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte.

    “Blannnnche!”

  61. Mia says:

    LOOKING 53: Kaiser, correction – Madonna would’ve looked so much younger if she hadn’t had a mother load of 20 hour days pushing her body to new boundaries for the last 30 years. She may have redesigned her exercise / diet when she started ageing, but I think we can all agree – that body has had it’s fair share of abuse. If she hadn’t had plastic surgery I think we’d be more than a little shocked at what an old hag she’d become. She’s hardly Sharon Stone!

  62. sofie says:

    ok Kaiser leave her alone…i checked other pics and she looked nice…you only choosed this pics with horrible lighting Gee i wonder why!! if she were to age gracefully she would have looked way-way worse and people would have bitched one way or the other for some reason, so yeah, there’s no escaping it really,

  63. Looks like Debbie Harry says:

    All the tweakers end up looking wierd

  64. Kloops says:

    Too much Botox and fillers, not mention cheek implants, make you look older. Take heed young starlets.

  65. anne_000 says:

    She looks like she’s gained more weight than she’s ever had in her entire life.

  66. Dirty Martini says:

    Is it me–or is she starting to look like Faye Dunaway…..????

    And NOT in a good way.

  67. islandwalker says:

    I’d bet my last dollar she’s going through peri-menopause. I got REALLY chunky and bloated for about 5-6 years, then whooosh…it all calmed down , weight dropped off once menopause hit. ( Menopause is the nice safe place after peri-menopause kicks your arss for years.) You can also suffer bone and massive muscle loss which might be happening to her.

  68. smh says:

    idgi, her face looked super young until recently. maybe whatever procedure she is getting wears off rather quickly, and i think she’s getting that radio wave thingy that Demi Moore gets.

  69. GT says:

    Damn people, she’s 53 years old!!! Why do women have to be so critical of other women?? Who wants to grow old and look old? No one. So I say yay for Madonna if she tweaked something and I myself don’t see anything that jumps out and yells “tweaked” here. I just see someone who is maybe finally starting to age, as will we all. When I read stuff like this I’m just so happy I’m not famous and being ripped apart for how I look.

  70. djork says:

    Every mean, selfish, crappy thing she’s ever done or said has come back to settle in her face.

  71. Deven says:

    If she does nothing else, she should never wear a short-sleeved dress again. So unattractive.

  72. texasmom says:

    islandwalker — thanks for the insight. I am at the chunky part (year three) which is distressing as I have never been overweight before… but looking at Madge I am dreading getting thin again if I hafta look like that. Well, at least I am free to cover my arms and keep my smile lines and happy crows feet!

  73. Mitch Buchanan Rocks says:

    She looks like Heather Mills.

  74. coconut says:

    is she hiding her hands on purpose??

  75. rrrooow says:

    She prob doesn’t want them to use it because she does really stinky poos, so bad that the smell lingers and she doesn’t want to risk their health by exposing them to her old person poo stench. She also may leave stains in the bowl that may turn her young bf off and potentially scare her kids- my advice would be to buy a strong toilet brush and some air freshner- industrial strength.

  76. Tazina says:

    Who on earth cares? I’m sure there are more than enough toilets to go around. This is just so ridiculous.

    rrooow seems to have some kind of weird bathroom fetish. You are one complete whack job.

  77. Flim says:

    She looks like Betty White’s less fortunate sister.

  78. april says:

    She looks like she’s in the midst of menopause.

  79. Priscilla says:

    I haven’t read all of the comments, so maybe someone else has mentioned this. But she really bears an amazing resemblance to Faye Dunaway now.

  80. strang says:

    DOod,
    I don’t even like Madonna, but she was born in 1958 (wiki).
    That makes her … calculator … 53 years old.
    And you’re criticizing the way she looks.
    Nu-uh.
    She looks fine. Put the magnifying glass away. She’s getting older. It happens to the best of us.
    ~S

  81. tmbg says:

    Well, I don’t like sharing my toilet either, and fortunately it works out in our house that we each have our own. 😀

    Madonna’s face had settled in nicely from the overdone filler last time and she was looking good, but now it’s doughy in appearance. She also made the mistake of apparently getting Botox under her eyes or around her eyes, which can freeze everything up, but the lines remain and look stretched out and strange.

    Botox and fillers can be done naturally, but I don’t know if there’s a doctor in Los Angeles who can do it right.

    If she’d just get a little lasering done instead of whatever other thing she’s doing to her eyes and laid off the heavy foundation and powder, it would take years off. A better eye makeup look would help too. The heavy liquid liner gets aging after awhile.

    She still has a rocking figure and her hair looks nice here.

    PS – and I think saying she’s “destroyed her face” is going overboard. From every picture I’ve seen so far, it looks like she’s had the temporary stuff done and it does deflate with time.

  82. not says:

    You know, Catherine Deneuve used to say that, after a “certain” age, a woman has to choose between her a## and her face.
    I think she was right. This lady had to mess up with her face and to fill it with any sort of s°°t because of her compulsive gym routine and her absurd diets.

  83. mamakowalska says:

    I totally understand the fear when the wrinkles start to come………one must go through it………accept it……..find other reasons to be happy in life……..

    YOU CANNOT STAY YOUNG FOREVER, IT’S NORMAL TO AGE!!!!!!! DO IT WITH DIGNITY for crying out loud!!!!!

  84. Christ, by 53 I hope I am judged by my achievements in life rather than my wrinkles.

    As a group of women commenting on women, this chat saddens me, what are we doing? First we bitch about the state of her surgery, then we bitch about the state of her un-surgically enhanced parts and how much she is daring to exhibit her aged body. Older women can’t win can they when they read hypocritical crap like this. Sorry, in bad mood today, but come on!

  85. Rubenesque says:

    If I could, I’d have my own bathroom. Anyone have little boys? Yeah, I should buy stock in Clorox wipes. Plus guys are gross. My husband isn’t as bad, but some of his friends are disgusting & beer doesn’t improve their aim. I swear one of them closes his eyes & spins around like he’s playing pin the tail on the donkey. Blerg.

  86. the original bellaluna says:

    Okay, this is my (soon-to-be-patented) idea:

    Men’s bathroom: All metal. (EVERYTHING. We’re talking “no seat-having metallic toilet” here. Think “prison.”) Floor drain. Floor is slightly angled to drain into said floor drain. No shower curtain or door. Just one big metal “that’s fine, pee all over it” surface.

    But the piece de resistance is the sprinkler system. After said man/boy/male guest is done, the sprinkler system shoots out bleach and hot water.

    A truly “self-sufficient” bathroom cleaning experience.

    (Invented because I cannot tell you how many times I’ve said “If I could afford it, I’d go in there in a hazmat suit and hose the whole thing down with bleach.” 3 boys, 1 husband…you do the math.)

  87. mary simon says:

    WTF? All her plastic surgery dissolved overnight. Had she aged naturally, she would look far better than she does now.

  88. Ginevra says:

    Maybe her makeup/styling is accentuating things, but she doesn’t look 53 to me. She looks close to 70. My mom is 57 and she doesn’t look nearly that aged.

  89. The Original Ashley says:

    I have my own bathroom and I ain’t going to hate on her. I’m a germaphobe so that’s it but I don’t know about not letting your significant other not use it? Seems kind of odd. But if you can afford it, have at it.

  90. Ja says:

    No, she does not look that bad. In fact for her age she looks damn well. And that includes whatever help she has had. Get your eyesight checked if you think otherwise. Or a look into the mirror could do, if you have a brain. Rant over!

  91. Ja says:

    @coconut: I don’t blame Madonna if she doesn’t like to show off her hands. I’m 35 and also have lots of visible veins on my hands – that happens to be from playing sports and manual work over long years. It can happen to anyone and it’s a sign of those hands being used just like intended. Any other stupid questions without any real point?

  92. Munkey says:

    @Ja: Agreed. I’m 35 and my hands have looked rough for ages (from years of working with horses). There isn’t enough hand cream on earth to make these things look smooth, but I see my callouses and cracks as hard won badges of honor!

  93. Jooks says:

    OK, so, yeah — she’s got some major-extreme mega-celebrity “quirks.” However, this one I get! I have my own bathroom in our house and I must admit I get a little annoyed if my husband or [teenage] stepson use it. Call me “Madonn-insane.” I will say, though, that while her bod and hair look pretty above, I agree on the face thing… and why is she dressed like a nun?