Yesterday, Star Magazine came out with a cover story about the Duchess of Cambridge and the current state of her womb. According to their sources, Kate is pregnant – with twins! A boy and girl. Yeah… it was fishy, but as I said yesterday, if Kate isn’t pregnant already, she will be soon. For now though, we just have to make due with this oddly-worded denial from Buckingham Palace:
Kate Middleton and Prince William aren’t ready to become parents — at least not anytime soon.
Though a tabloid recently claimed the 29-year-old Duchess is pregnant with twins, a palace rep tells Us Weekly that she is not currently expecting any children.
“Suffice to say that were it true, it would be us that announces it, not a gossip magazine,” the couple’s rep tells Us.
That doesn’t mean that William and Kate aren’t looking forward to the day they finally become parents.
“I think we’ll take it one step at a time,” William, 29, said in November. “We’ll sort of get over the marriage thing first, then look at the kids. But obviously, we want a family.”
[From Us Weekly]
Let’s parse! “Suffice to say that were it true, it would be us that announces it, not a gossip magazine.” I take that as a half-assed denial. They want to stop the “twins!” speculation nonsense, but they also don’t want to come right out and say “She’s not pregnant… with twins. Try again.” They’re also saying that they’re confirm the pregnancy at a certain point in time, and that denials will flow like wine until that time.
By the way, Kate was spotted this past weekend shopping for “cake supplies”. A source says, “She bought a rather nice cast iron kitchen roll holder, but mainly she was buying baking trays in a few different shapes.” The stories have been trying to make her sound all housewifey, like she just spends her time baking little love cakes for William to celebrate their fairy tale union. But Pippa’s birthday was a few days ago – isn’t it more likely that Kate baked Pippa a cake? If my sister had just married into royalty, I would expect more than a homemade cake, though.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
What if the baking supplies are just presents? She could be buying presents for friends or such.
I doubt she actually cooks.
I HATE, LOATHE, and HATE bumpwatch because I’m always wrong and it really seems like none of my business….but here’s my opinion they are probably trying but not expecting yet….and she’d wait until the 2nd trimester to confirm if/when she is pregnant since it’s a matter of national import. Of course I think people should leave her alone remember how the Japanese princess had a nervous breakdown because she couldn’t produce a son for the ceremonial throne???
Goofpuff – I doubt she eats cake either. 😉
Let’s hope that a future child inherits her hair.
Man, she has a head of hair…so thick, full and shiny. Sigh…
Maybe Wills said: “Dang, Woman! Get your flat butt in that kitchen and make me a cake!” in a very rough, redneck voice.
I think she had great hair! But she is way way too thin…stress must be getting the best of her…when I stress I eat…I don’t think I could ever starve myself
digging that rooster hat!
Did someone on the first thread really tell her to chop her hair? Because that mane is her best feature. Oh well, no babies, Star strikes again. Hasn’t Anniston been pregnant about 47 times? Sandra Bullock is made out to be pregnant too in the rags, but then the headline isn’t the story. I get my news here, DListed and The Soup. It’s way more fun that way.
She probably baked the cake and then her and Pippa just sat around and looked at it, then threw it away.
She probably baked the cake and then her and Pippa just sat around and looked at it, then threw it away.
Anti, do you mean the maple leaf hat she wore while in Canada, on Canada Day?
@ irishserra Can’t stop laughing at your comment. People in my office are looking at me funny.
@anti: “rooster hat”, perfect!
Ahhh, royal intrigue.
I think she’s so pretty!
Cosign on laughing out loud @ irishserra’s comment. Especially since I live in a region with just that accent.
“Suffice to say that were it true, it would be us that announces it, not a gossip magazine,” the couple’s rep tells Us.
Thats what I said yesterday.
irishserra & cmc inspired this. I couldn’t help myself, I swear.
**********************
“Look, Pippa!” squealed Kate as she ushered her sister into the airy kitchen. “I baked a cake!” She pointed proudly at her lopsided creation, coated thickly with navy blue icing. Navy blue again, wailed Pippa inwardly. Aloud, she asked, “Why did you bake a cake when you can order one from a bakery? It would probably look better,” she added before she could stop herself.
Kate looked wounded. “Wills asked me to. He told me to get my…” (here she coloured slightly) “…flat butt into the kitchen and bake him a cake. He just doesn’t understand the sacrifices I make to look good for him.” A look of genuine befuddlement passed over her face. “He said it in the strangest accent I’ve ever heard. For a moment, I could have sworn he was covered in grease and chewing on a bit of hay. It was weird.”
“He’s just overworked, is all,” said Pippa, following her sister, who was carrying the cake to the handsome oak table in the corner. Kate plopped the cake on the table’s center. “I always told you the Palace would overwork you both. You must be exhausted! I can’t imagine having to talk to people all day.”
“Oh, it’s miserable,” said Kate, sitting across the table from her sister. “I never know what to say! And all the walking I do, it’s so tiresome! At least it’s great exercise. Flat butt, indeed.” Her voice rose with indignance. “It isn’t flat, it’s toned! Let him trot about in heels all day.” She looked up into Pippa’s eyes. Gosh, she has beady little eyes, thought Kate wonderingly. I never noticed that before. And all that eyeliner makes it worse. “Actually,” she said conspiratorially, “I caught him trying to squeeze those big feet of his into my favourite pair of navy pumps the other day. It was really quite awful of him. They’ve not fit properly since.”
Pippa giggled. “You know what they say about big feet!”
Kate cackled and said triumphantly, “I don’t call him Big Willy for nothing!”
“Speaking of tring things on, do you remember when you turned twelve and we pigged out on your birthday cake and tried on Mum’s wedding dress?” asked Pippa.
Kate smiled. “My, but I do! The dress was miles too long for me. ‘Course, I’m much taller than Mum now.” Her tone turned wistful. “I miss the taste of cake.”
As one, the sisters looked sadly at the cake, then at each other. Wow, her eyes are so small and beady, thought Pippa. I never noticed that before. And she needs to watch it with the eyeliner!
Kate leapt up and seized the cake. She hurled it across the room, aiming for the trash bin. With a satisfying thunk! it landed more or less in the bin. Pippa looked on in amazement. “What the devil do you think you’re doing? What are you going to tell William?”
“Oh, I’ll tell him I burnt it. He hates navy blue, anyway.” Kate rounded on her sister and turned the full wattage of her smile on the hapless Pippa. “Shall we have some lettuce?”
Pippa blinked, then grinned. Together the sisters chanted, “You can never be too rich – or too thin!”
Hilarious Nymeria. Brilliant.
Okay. I’m snorting my laughter. Well done.
That girl hasn’t had dessert since the early 90s.
Flat butt and man shoulders is not attractive.
I think the palace’s comment is deliciously b*tchy!
Nymeria, that’s wonderful.
Isn’t the Middleton brother the one with the bakery, or supplies shop or whatever?
@ Nymeria: Too funny! On thing though: shouldn’t it have been at least radicchio or lollo rosso instead of just lettuce for the birthday? Something special to make it stand out from all the other days when there’s lettuce on the menu?
She’s so skinny that perhaps she ate an olive and people thought she had a baby coming… but they already know that is twins, their names, the name’s of their future spouse and etc… gossip magazines are so lame!!!
All I got from that was that they’re not happy with someone scooping them. I know Kate doesn’t have any friends (which is odd by the way) besides Williams, but maybe someone in his inner circle let it slip?
All this cutesy “she’s such a housewife” crap makes me nauseous. Like Kensington Palace doesn’t have full kitchen staff *eye roll*
Nymeria, thanks for the laughs!!
You should save your comment and copy & paste it onto the comments on the Daily Mail’s website next time they run one of their ridiculous Kate stories. I guarantee you that the response will be overwhelmingly positive. Think about it – dailymail.co.uk
This story was what I was getting at in the last Kate post. The Palace will decide when the announcement is made. I read the Tina Brown book on Diana, and she pointed out when she did a Diana cover story for Vanity Fair back in the 80s, the Palace attacked back hard, even questioning the Brown’s marriage even though the article was true.
And, it makes sense really for them to control the story. They have to control the aggressive media , not the other way around. In the end, the Palace PR is for the royals, not to tell the public the truth. That is, if she is pregnant. Really, I think it’s a 50/50 chance.
@irishserra 🙂 So funny!
@Nymeria If you aren’t writing for a living, consider it. Your talent is obvious and entertaining!
The rep’s statement sounds odd to me. “…it would be us that announces it” — the grammar’s weird and surely any real rep would say “the Palace” or “Their Royal Highnesses who…”and not “us”? It really sounds made up.
Okay, I hate to split hairs (heirs?), but…
Did anyone else notice that the prim, proper, and snobby palace spokesperson made a grammatically-incorrect statement? (Queen Victoria must be rolling in her grave!)
It should read :”…it would be WE that ANNOUNCE it, not a gossip magazine.”
@ Justalark – I thought the same thing – about splitting hairs, that is. Since the statement is using the subjunctive, it should be “…it would be WE WHO [because “who,” not “that,” refers back to person(s)] announceD it…” (I am assuming the Palace was attempting to use the past perfect continuous subjunctive. However, if they were using the simple past subjunctive, then the statement should read, “…it would be we who announce it…” I will say that it’s been a while since I’ve studied the English subjunctive in depth – anyone who knows better, please jump in!) Anyway, we all make linguistic errors (I made a few in my little “story” up there), but you would expect better from Buck House. 🙂 Nice pun (“hairs” vs. “heirs”). I do love puns. They’re (forgive me for this) punny.
Thanks for the compliments on the silly writing piece 🙂 irishserra & cmc came up with such good material, I had to run with it. As for the lettuce… well, I have a feeling these girls are hard core about their lettuce.
So Buck House denies the pregnancy? It must be true! 😛
And seriously, Catherine buying baking supplies? That would indicate she bakes. But then she’d have to touch food, and that’s just “eww” for her (remember the way she acted when she got that plate of food at the Canadian Ranger post?).
Speaking of baking supplies, where in the world is brother James? It’s like he disappeared and we’re stuck with picture after picture of sister Philippa!
I wish we wore more hats in the USA. I occasionally wear a summer straw hat or a baseball cap, but never do we get to pile on the fun! I wore a little feathery mini-fascinator thing to a wedding and was eyeballed like someone wanted to shoot it off my head. Granted, we were in the hills of Tennessee (insert banjo music here) but still!
@Nymeria: Sending a pile of field greens your way (after all, you probably wouldn’t appreciate it if I sent you a cake!)
@ PrettyTarheel – *looks crushed* But… but I love cake! Pretty please? 🙂
Reading between the lines, I’m guessing she’s pregnant, but NOT with twins. That means the denial isn’t an outright lie, right? *winkwinknudgenudge*
I don’t know about the cake thing though. I’d take one of my mom’s homemade cakes to ANYTHING that could be purchased. (Chocolate Angel Food cake that melts in the mouth, with her homemade chocolate genache drizzled over it…or her lemon cake with lemon genache…or her homemade German Chocolate cake with homemade pecan coconut frosting…)
Yeah, I’ve got the recipes! 😉
@Nymeria: I wholeheartedly agree, if you’re not currently writing for a living you should seriously consider it. I very much enjoyed your short story and would venture to say you have a pretty good grasp of the english language even if you haven’t studied it for a while, lol. Kudos! I’ve never posted here but as an avid reader I had to add my 2 cents with all your other fans 🙂
I do very much agree with the Buckingham Palace: they should be the first to announce such news, since it is their “heir”.
And besides, who wants a bloody gossip column to be the first to announce such beautiful news.
Rather pathetic!
Nymeria! Seriously… Your meaning in life is either to be a writer or joining the Middleton sisters.
Tanx for making my friday so… friday-y!
BTW Original bellaluna: i wouldn’t mind it much if you posted these recipes somewhere and i could, i don’t know, maybe give them a spin…
I always imagine Waity doing nothing but exercising and watching daytime, so a baby will give her something to do. @nymeria, the reality probably isnt so far off from what you wrote 🙂
It could be something really awkward like she was pregnant with twins but lost one? Anyway, some people have boob jobs, some people have liposuction, she’s had a hip-ectomy. She’ll miss ’em when she actually is carrying….
Gees, why are the media so OBSESSED with her? Why can’t they leave her alone? Haven’t they learned anything from what they did to Diana? They are just an ordinary couple and not that interesting and not worth the constant attention the paps give them. I wish they’d leave them alone and focus on something more interesting.
“But Pippa’s birthday was a few days ago – isn’t it more likely that Kate baked Pippa a cake? If my sister had just married into royalty, I would expect more than a homemade cake, though.”
What the $^$# do you know about making a birthday cake? If you knew anything, you would also know that most people cherish the idea of having someone spend the time, effort, and care to make a birthday cake for them. It is one of the most special gifts one can give.
Anyone can go to the bakery and pick up a generic cake at the last minute, but it takes love and kindness to: plan and choose the theme and decoration for the cake, buy the ingredients, spend the time to mix and bake, trim the cake, make icing, colour the icing, mark out the design, spend hours decorating and perfecting it.
My daughters’ birthdays were greatly anticipated by the friends and guests wondering what theme the birthday cakes would display each year. I received so many compliments and expressions that they wished their own mothers could make cakes like that.
If Kate did in fact make a cake for her sister, I am certain it would be greatly appreciated. If you haven’t tried it, don’t knock it!