These are some photos from yet another magazine shoot and profile of Tilda Swinton, obviously. It’s always difficult to say that the camera “loves” Tilda, but it’s not like the camera hates her either. She’s such an unusual woman, and such an unusual-looking woman – I think she could probably look gorgeous in photos with a little effort, but in her mind, she thinks, “Why put in the effort? I’d rather be unusual and handsome.” Is it wrong that I have sexual fantasies about Tilda? It’s not like my attraction to Sofia Vergara or something – I fantasize about Tilda like she’s a man. Like she’s going to come over and seduce me. I think I would enjoy that, honestly.
By the way, did you know that Tilda is 50 years old? She turns 51 in just a few weeks. She doesn’t seem to age, on top of everything else. She really is an alien, right? RIGHT? Anyway, here are some interview excerpts from some additional press Tilda has been doing for We Need To Talk About Kevin. She references some previous stories, like when she talked about how every mom worries that she’s given birth to a psycho, and how Tilda wanted to kill her baby brother. There’s also a random reference to a schoolmate of Tilda’s – the then Lady Diana Spencer (OMG!).
Tilda on acting: “I’m not really interested in acting. I’ve given up waiting for an epiphany of interest to strike. Acting is a red herring and a major mistake and I’m still trying to get back on track. Every time I’m in a film I’m determined it’s the last I’m in then I’ll fall into a conversation with someone and we’ll cook up a new scheme. Basically it’s gone on for 20 years but I’m hoping to pull it to a close shortly.”
What she would rather be doing: “I would like an opportunity to have a good sleep and get on with some writing.”
Does she ever feel monstrous? “Does one ever feel it,” she says, “or is one simply monstrous? I mean, I’ve been monstrous, I think.”
She talks about wanting to kill her brother again: “I was going to kill him because he was a boy, naturally… and I already had two brothers, and that was just too much to bear.”
On “evil”: “Whenever there are children killing children, or perpetrating great acts of violence, there’s always this word ‘evil’ pulled out of the top drawer. Not even the bottom drawer. It’s a very quick response. And I’m always struck by it, because from the age of four and a half I have known that it ain’t in no drawer. It’s at closer hand. Isn’t that the triumph of civilisation? That we manage not to be monstrous?”
On We Need To Talk About Kevin: “He’s playing out her detachment. His lack of empathy is her detachment. All those early incidents she feels so tortured by, like mocking him through the bars of his – cage, I was going to say – but the bars of his cot, saying, ‘Mummy was happy before little Kevin came along, now Mummy wakes up every morning and wishes she was in France’ … That early image of her holding up the baby, when he’s screaming, and that terrible, inauthentic smile she gives. I mean, wouldn’t you scream if you had a mother doing that? I would! It’s that feeling of inauthenticity, of her having edited out the majority of herself in this relationship; and it’s hard not to sympathise – to use that word – with his, um, efforts to get her attention.”
Does she think the movie will inspire women to NOT have kids? “I don’t see why it would,” she says sunnily. “It’s a fantasy. It’s never going to be that bad … Everybody thinks for one moment when they’re pregnant that they’re actually carrying the spawn of the devil.”
On being sent to boarding school at the age of 10: “So it’s a weird moment to go, ‘OK, we’re going to distract you from all that useful evolutionary work, and lump you together with a lot of people on a desert island called school and leave you to it.’” She was excited at first, “because I was happy to be amongst girls, having been in a family with a bunch of boys. I was going, ‘OK, fine. So now I’m a girl.’” But overall, she really didn’t enjoy boarding school. She was bullied and homesick: “I don’t think I spoke for five years.”
On the idea that she was “groomed” for marriage by her education: Were thehe girls were expected to become wives of the establishment, a notion borne out by the marriage of her classmate, Lady Diana Spencer? I ask if there was a sense of being groomed for marriage, and she bristles. “I’m wondering about the word ‘groomed’. I’m also wondering that we’re sitting talking, for the Guardian, about Diana Spencer. I can’t quite believe it.” We bat this about a bit. I explain I’m interested in the wider idea of women being expected simply to marry. “It was a holding bay,” she says finally. “We managed to survive. Most of us.”
I mean, obviously, she’s brilliant and strange and wonderful and weird. Is it wrong to think she would be a great flirt too? I’m seriously having fantasies about her, like she’s coming in second (after Fassbender) in my “dream lover” sweepstakes. What do you think? Tilda Swinton: Would you hit it?
Photos courtesy of The Room, via The Fashion Spot.