Nov 3
'11
Snooki says she saves her money, but The Situation is already broke

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These are photos of Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi looking even trasher than usual; but to be fair, they were taken at a book signing for Confessions of a Guidette (which CB has already discussed in terms of Snook’s claims that she can be a role model) that took place on Oct. 30. Still, she just looks like herself only with more exaggerated eye makeup. This is pretty much what someone would wear if they intentionally threw together a Snooki costume for Halloween.

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At any rate, Snooki also sat down with GQ to talk about her new book. The interview took place immediately after the wrapping of “Jersey Shore” Season 3, so it was before the cast had wreaked havoc upon Florence, Italy. Among other things, Snooki (oddly enough) seems very aware that fame (especially for reality stars) is fleeting and that “Jersey Shore” will soon be over. After all, the cast members are currently scoring over $100,000 per episode, but their reign of terror will end after Season 5 when MTV recasts the show. So in that aspect, at least, Snooki comes off as possessing half a brain in this interview, but that’s about the extent of the intellectual display that occurs:

On Books: “I don’t read. I don’t like to read Harry Potter or anything like that. It’s not my style.” (The interviewer points out that Snooki is a New York Times best-selling author.) “Yeah, doesn’t mean I have to read. We were supposed to read in high school but I never did because I just used the CliffsNotes, books were too long.”

On Her Next “Novel,” Gorilla Beach: “Well, Gia and her cousin go to the casino and they end up stealing something very important from the casino owner. It’s just a lot of drama but in the end, of course, they always win.”

On Her Acting Career: “I did cameos in two movies already that should be out next year but I would love to be on a sitcom like ‘The Office.’ I would have been the one to replace Steve Carell and take over. I could be a boss.”

On Our Current President: “Um, I didn’t vote for Barack Obama, but I’m supportive of him obviously because he is our president and hopefully he can fix this country because it sucks right now. I voted for McCain. Donald Trump, I would vote for him. Trump would make this country better I feel. He gets sh*t done.”

On Her College Major: “Veterinarian tech. Test me and bring me to a hospital. I can induce an animal, do surgery, do anesthesia, and take blood. So if you want to tell me I’m stupid again, let’s go to an animal hospital. I used to wear leopard scrubs at my internship. I did dogs and cats. I’ve actually worked with ducks, drew blood from a horse, and stuck my hand in a cow’s ass. I would love to go back to school and get my vet tech license. I loved the teachers at my school, I’d go there. It’s small, they have a great vet tech program and it’s cheap.”

On What She Does With Her Money: “I save it. Jersey Shore is going to end soon. I’m not going to spend money like Mike [The Situation]. He’s already broke!”

On Whether She’ll Marry: “Yeah, but not any time soon. I want to have four kids. Frankie, Isabella, Giana, and maybe Jionni Jr.”

[From GQ]

Ugh, Jionni is such bad news. The only thing that guy has going is that he’s basically the same height as Snooki, but he treats her horribly; yet she puts up it, so I guess she likes it that way. Still, Snooki seems savvy about money (which is believable since Jessica Simpson recently displayed some branding-savvy chops too), and I’m not at all surprised to learn that Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has blown his monetary wad already. Maybe that’s why he’s so eager to endorse everything from formal wear to lollipops these days.

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Yes, I hereby predict that The Situation will soon carry on the legacy of Spencer Pratt in that, in just a few years, his agent will refuse to take his calls. Snooki probably has a bit more lasting power with her fake-authoring gig, but while we’re at it, let’s predict the rest of the cast’s fates. Paul “DJ Pauly D” DelVecchio probably has the greatest shot at longevity. After all, he easily earned $100,000 for a series of gigs over Labor Day weekend, and his Halloween earnings were just as lavish according to Page Six, which emphasized that Pauly demanded, “absolutely NO use of MTV name/logo and ‘Jersey Shore’ logo” on his rider. Meanwhile, Vinny Guadagnino will continue to try and break into acting before giving up and heading to law school. Ronnie Ortiz-Magro will develop his own line of weightlifting supplements but eventually get arrested for tax evasion while continuing to break up and make up with Sammi Giancola, who will persist in being a boring drama queen. Deena Nicole Cortese will make a seamless transition into lesbionic adult films, and Jenni “JWoww” Farley will continue marketing her own tanning lotion and star in a series of best-selling exercise videos before giving it all up to be a stay-at-home mom.

Here’s another odd piece of news (that arrives by way of Ghost of a Flea) — The University of Chicago will soon be hosting a conference on “Jersey Shore” studies. Seriously.

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Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN

Written by Bedhead

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Posted in Jersey Shore, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Snooki


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37 Responses to “Snooki says she saves her money, but The Situation is already broke”

  1. MellaYella says:

    I’ve always thought that Snooki was aware that fame will be over when your just a reality star. Un like Kim Kardashian, who thinks she is a real star.

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  2. Rhiley says:

    “I did dogs and cats.”— Joel McHale would love that line.

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  3. Kaboom says:

    I’ve had conversations with smarter bricks in my day.

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  4. Lisa says:

    What an airhead. Still I prefer her over the Kardashians anytime of the day.

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  5. Happy21 says:

    She seems like such a twit. I have never seen the show and am glad, I need all my braincells…

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  6. Silk Spectre says:

    Was she dressed up for Halloween or is this red light district get-up her usual clothes?

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  7. Iggles says:

    Yikes! Enough with the bronzer! Aside from Vinny, they all look overcooked!

    Personally, I don’t get tanning at all! But then again, I’m black so I’ve always had a natural one ;-)

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  8. gab says:

    The quote about reading is going right to my teens to read! Read your books or end up dumber than a bag of hair like Snooki.

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  9. Mikki says:

    It pains me that someone like this has a book published (not written by her of course)…yet so many truly talented writers struggle to get that privilege.

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  10. Smokey says:

    I can’t look at her anymore without thinking of Southpark’s Snookie monster wanting “smoosh-smoosh”.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5QSpmP0SSY&feature=related

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  11. jamie says:

    The interview actually made me like her a little. She seemed honest and I appreciate that.

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  12. Hautie says:

    I really do hope Snooki has realize that the money will stop.

    And having saved now, will mean she can be financially comfortable for years to come. If not retire before she is 30.

    But so few people ever spend wisely. When they receive so much cash, in a short time period.

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  13. flourpot says:

    ‘I don’t read, books are too long.’

    I stopped there. That this amazing bit of trash can be on TV and making fantastic money constantly blows my mind.

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  14. Pyewacket says:

    She really thinks a lot of herself, doesn’t she?

    She sure is an ugly little troll.

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  15. RobN says:

    I’m with jamie, I like her a bit more, now. She’s aware that she’s playing a role and doesn’t take any of it seriously. That’s actually kind of refreshing.

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  16. Jover says:

    Flourpot I fully agree but here’s my point; this brainless trash is all over the late nite talk shows, morning “news” shows, covers of mags (ROlling stones “hangs head”), and is treated like royalty; while Sarah Palin is trashed; first, i’m a lib and I have no use for Palin or her views and this isn’t a perfect analogy by any means but she was elected to office, and conceivably could run for prez, and is rightfully so lampooned while snooki is not laughed at to her vacant tangerine little face. Even if we don’t like a political figure, how can a “reality show star” be treated better. I just don’t get what’s going on with our pop culture anymore.

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  17. Faye says:

    Hmm, this interview makes it sound like she does have some sense. Most Americans don’t bother saving, so apparently, she’s already ahead of the game there. She realizes that Jersey Shore isn’t forever and is trying to set herself up for whatever is coming next. I’ve never watched the show, but perhaps without the booze and sluttery there lies a girl capable of making good life decisions.

    Feel free to tell me I’m being overly optimistic, because I might be.

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  18. gee says:

    The “where will they be” thing was SPOT ON. I bet like all the dollars that you’re right.

    I may or may not be a reletive of one of the show cast memberssss weeeeeeee

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  19. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    I think she gets a pass because of her ephemerality and lack of real world importance. I just learned that her first name is Nicole, but there was a time when you couldn’t turn your head without someone shoving Sarah’s pap smear results in your face–and that was before it became plausible and wise to tune her out. Baby Snooks, or whatever, is gross but if you turn your head and ignore her, there’s no risk of missing anything important or coherent. People are still angry at Palin’s presumption that she could catwalk into office when she couldn’t be assed to do anything that would make her qualified enough to merit being there. And she’s a victim. With Snooki, you can toss some pistachios at her, or maybe just salt her, and she’ll go. Our retinas will re-attach and we’ll sally forth.

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  20. Tiffany says:

    I finally caught a episode of Jersey Shore, it was the most craptastic thing I have ever watched, and don’t even get me started on the other episode I watched. * hangs head at .computer* Yeah, this sucks you in and proves that no one, as much as you want to deny it, is above watching this show.

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  21. kimberly says:

    snooki is so much smarter than Kim Kardashian. . . prettier too!

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  22. Quixotic1205 says:

    Not to be a snob but seriously?! What does it say about our society that a person can have a new york times bestseller and be almost proud of the fact that they don’t read books?! I’m ashamed.

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  23. Lllllll says:

    I like sparkles, sequins, and glitter just as much as the next women (maybe even more), but I imagine the photographers went blind after that group shot of the guidos.

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  24. Jayna says:

    Jover, Snooki is what she is. Sarah Palin was never smart enough to run our country if McCain died in office. What a horrible thought. Cabs called Hillary Clinton a whiner and said it’s not good for women. Lol Hilliary is tough as nails. All Sarah did is whine. Then she quits in the middle of her first term as governor to go chase money. She deserves to be lampooned.

    Back to Snooki. I don’t watch the show, so I don’t care about any of them.

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  25. Miffits says:

    Huh, the girl realises her fame has a shelf life, saves her money and would like to go back to school. I daresay under all that bronzer and horrific dress sense there’s an actual human being with the potential for trace amounts of sense. Good for her! I mean that. If ANYONE was going to be one of those tragic reality stars out-staying their fifteen minutes my money would have been on Snooki.

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  26. JaneWonderfalls says:

    She’s a stupid whore and example of most American public school systems. I love the question about politics, I doubt she even reads let alone registered to vote. She’s a dumb whore and I;m glad these smuts fame is fleeting. People like her don’t deserve any attention, I put her in the same category as the Kardashians. It’s not different fame whoring is fame whoring.

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  27. LittleDeadGrrl says:

    Vet Techs don’t do surgery and since I work at an animal hospital I can tell you I have met plenty of STUDENT vet techs that were dumb as bricks, went to shitty schools, and couldn’t pass the license. So Snookie I still hereby dub thee moron. I just want to throw up at the fact anyone has bought her book …

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  28. DarkEmpress says:

    OMGawd! What is she wearing??? I like leopard and I get that it is halloween, but its just horrible! Nonetheless, I like Snooki and I dont even watch Jersey Shore!

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  29. Kevin says:

    So Janewonderfalls, your saying all the American school systems produce are stupid whores? That’s what you just said.

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  30. Venefica Delirium says:

    People really emphasize way too much virtue with being “honest” about what you are. While being a liar seems worse by comparison, these people act like proud of what they are. Nobody from this show tries to be a better person, despite the criticism they receive? Why does “honesty” deserve any more of my respect, when these overpriviledged assholes tout their “honesty” as a bragging right, basically an excuse to rub people’s faces in the fact that they don’t have to lift a finger to make hundreds of times more money than many hard-working people ever will?

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  31. Erinn says:

    Snooki wasn’t great to Jionni, either. I’d say they’re a fair match.

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  32. jc126 says:

    Yuck. I hope they all go broke, and go away.

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  33. sally says:

    When did it become acceptable to say that you don’t read? Shouldn’t she be embarrassed about that?

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  34. Rachael says:

    On Her College Major: “Veterinarian tech. Test me and bring me to a hospital. I can induce an animal, do surgery, do anesthesia, and take blood. So if you want to tell me I’m stupid again, let’s go to an animal hospital. I used to wear leopard scrubs at my internship. I did dogs and cats. I’ve actually worked with ducks, drew blood from a horse, and stuck my hand in a cow’s ass. I would love to go back to school and get my vet tech license. I loved the teachers at my school, I’d go there. It’s small, they have a great vet tech program and it’s cheap.”

    I’m not going to lie, this made me laugh my ass off. Not that Snooki necessarily meant for it to be funny.

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  35. normades says:

    I think the Situation is the answer to that blind about what JS member is a big coke addict. He’s blowing his money on blow.

    Good for Pauly for turning this short gig into a career. JS gets play in Europe and people will pay to see this greasy dj. Hell, I would. It’d probably be a lot of fun.

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  36. G. says:

    @Gee: Which member? I do love me some Pauly and Vinny.

    I admit to watching and loving the show, not because I think they’re redeemable human beings, but because when you’re having a bad day, Jersey Shore will inevitably make you feel better.

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  37. CeeCee says:

    is there a petition to get rid of these fools off the air same as the Kardashian one?

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