Oh Johnny Depp, why do you have to have foot in mouth disease all the time lately? I used to love you so. (See this post.) Anyway my former lover Johnny gave an interview to The Guardian explaining that on one hand he didn’t really give a toss whether Rum Diary did well at the box office, and on the other that he thinks it will do better in Europe, because “it’s an intelligent film. And a lot of times, outside the big cities in the States, they don’t want that.” So you can accuse me of misquoting him in that title, but that’s pretty much how he was quoted in the Guardian. He also complained about not being able to smoke in America, but said he wasn’t going to accept residency in France because he’d have to pay taxes there. The highest tax rate in France is 40% while the highest tax rate in America is 35%. (Roughly.) Johnny should have moved to Switzerland. Here’s more of what he said, and he came off badly here – again.

“In Los Angeles, the hoity toities, the beautiful people, will sit on Sunset Strip and have their meal at these kind of fancy restaurants where no one can smoke – but you can inhale car fumes all you like.” He shakes his head. “I mean, that to me says it all….”

Early US box office returns suggest The Rum Diary may not break even – but he says he couldn’t care less about the money. “No, God no, no. It’s always a crap shoot, and really if you have that in your head while you’re making a movie the process would become something very different. No, I couldn’t give a rat’s arse really, not really.”

The publicity blitz in the past week might make cynics suggest otherwise. But the film is Depp’s homage to Thompson, who died in 2005, and also the first release by Depp’s own production company, which would account for his uncharacteristically energetic media campaign. “I believe that this film, regardless of what it makes in, you know, Wichita, Kansas, this week – which is probably about $13 – it doesn’t make any difference. I believe that this film will have a shelf life. I think it will stick around and people will watch it and enjoy it.” Does he suspect it will go down better in Europe than the US?

“Most definitely. It’s something that will be more appreciated over here, I think. Cos it’s – well, I think it’s an intelligent film.” He leaves a meaningful pause. “And a lot of times, outside the big cities in the States, they don’t want that.”

Depp’s well-documented love affair with all things European has always had a hint of hero worship about it too. I ask if there’s anything he doesn’t like about Europe, and he thinks hard for a while. “No. Not that I can think of, no. It’s a very old and beautiful culture, people know how to live. You know, here you have Sunday roast or the pub lunch, that kind of thing. It’s comforting. We don’t have that in our culture in the States. Sunday is football day, so it’s chicken wings and pizza…”

So when I ask if he could ever imagine living [in The US] again, his reply comes as quite a surprise.

“Well, I kind of do. I’m between wherever I end up on location, and then the States.”

What? Hang on a minute; why did he leave France? He makes a sour noise, part grunt, part hurrumph. “Cos France wanted a piece of me. They wanted me to become a permanent resident. Permanent residency status – which changes everything. They just want,” and he mimes peeling off notes in his palm. “Dough. Money.”

If Depp spends more than 183 days in France, he explains indignantly, he’d have to start paying income tax. “I’m certainly not ready to give up my American citizenship. You don’t have to give up your American citizenship,” he adds sarcastically, but then he’d have to pay tax in both countries, “so you essentially work for free.”

[From The Guardian]

It’s not true that you can be taxed twice, by a foreign country and the US, if you are a US citizen. You do get credit for taxes paid to a foreign country. I’ve lived abroad for six years and I sort-of know what I’m talking about. (No matter where you live outside the US or for how long, if you’re a US citizen you have to file taxes in the US.) I double-checked and if you’re in Johnny’s league, it can get incredibly expensive and complicated though. So I guess I don’t blame him for not wanting to become a French resident. I do blame him for bitching about his taxes, for claiming he would be working for “free” if he paid more taxes, for acting like the existence of car exhaust somehow excuses smoke fumes or makes people who are adverse to smoke fumes hypocrites, and for saying that anywhere outside the big cities in the US we don’t want “intelligent films” and are somehow uncultured compared to Europe. He really bugs me lately, and he’s been talking a lot of smack. Does he think we don’t read these interviews he does with the British press or does he just not care?

Here’s Johnny addressing the Oxford Union at Oxford. He looks like a Johnny Depp impersonator. You know one of the last celebrities who spoke in front of that illustrious organization? Katie Price. Credit: Fame