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Just on the personal stories here, I’m glad to hear that you got out and have regained your self-esteem Modesty.

I’m also glad for your family’s sake, if nothing else, Devilgirl that your cousin got out of that relationship. But what gets on my wick is that it took for him to cheat on her for her to leave.

I just don’t understand the mentality that will forgive being used as a punchbag and laugh it off when it happens to someone else, but not tolerate having her man “stolen” from her. I know self-esteem is a huge issue, as is co-dependency, but still…

I see it in all the homewrecker threads that adultery is the worst thing in the world – and while it’s devastating, it just doesn’t compare to domestic violence and murder.

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I was luckier than most — I didn’t marry the b&stard and got out while I still had some self-esteem left.
Although I didn’t have a lot to start with (self-esteem wise, I mean), it is truly scary when I think back now and realise how he systematically broke down all my self-confidence.

It’s difficult to leave if he tells you no-one else will ever love you…and you believe him!

And to reply to RAN: I think this is such an emotional issue — people everywhere know someone who has fallen for a loser. And oftentimes it’s the clever ones who get fooled: as kind of a nerd (not sure how intelligent I really am), I was definitely looking for someone to love me! I realise that now… So, RAN, that’s why peeps kill the messenger. This hits close to home for many.

Lee

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Her mother owned that house outright and I think she probably wanted Jennifer to save her money. Undoubtedly the woman had lived in that neighbor for years, so why should she move.

For all appearances, it looks as though the son, the ex-son-in-law, and the child’s ex-con father were to blame for all this. It’s a sad shame, but it shows how horrible and pervasive drugs and crime can be.

My prayers to the J-Hud…Keep your head up!

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devilgirl, that is a sad story, and I am happy your relative was eventually strong enough to leave, but unfortunately his 2nd wife wasn’t so lucky. In Long Island NY just this past week, a teacher was reported missing on her way to work, and the husband was on TV crying his eyes out, and asking the public to help with finding her. By last night he was in custody and charged with murdering his wife after her body was found at the side of the road. Now a friend is saying that the wife had been complaining about problems in the marriage. Some men only seem to know of one way of settling problems, and their anger is almost always directed at someone else.

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I think it has to do with their own insecurities or emotions over the situation. People like to react to things in the extreme without reasonably summing up the intent.

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I have a question for everyone else though… or maybe it’s just a comment.. I’ve noticed that every time someone comments on the circumstances leading up to this tragedy, other posters tend to jump up and down (various forms of ‘rage’) like the original poster was being a jerk – which I don’t understand. I asked the same thing a few days ago and it was CLEAR that people didn’t bother to read my post thoroughly. I didn’t say the victim’s were to blame, but I DID wonder how one can allow this type of filth to become a permanent fixture in her life. The way other poster’s reacted was just a little over the top, so I was curious about their thought process.

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