George Clooney always has a mysterious “injury” with each new “girlfriend”

Back in the day, when George Clooney was dating Sarah Larson, the two of them got in a “motorcycle accident” which left her in a cast and left Clooney scuffed up. Then a few years later, in 2009, Clooney was with Elisabetta Canalis when he “injured his hand” and had to wear some kind of cast for a little while. The explanation that time was that he had “shut the car door on his hand.” I cannot emphasize enough how much I do not believe these explanations. I cannot emphasize enough what a kinky bastard Clooney is, and how (in my mind) he’s into rough trade and he’s not afraid of bruises. Just last week, Clooney got all excited when describing how big and burly Stacy Keibler is and how she can “kick his ass” easily. And now this… a (sex) injury. Clooney was spotted at the Baltimore Ravens game on Sunday sporting some kind of elbow cast.

Stacy Keibler tweeted about it too, writing: “You kno its love when your boyfriend has elbow surgery 2 days ago and takes u to a #ravens game…especially when he’s a Bengals fan.” LOVE? Ugh. Also, People Magazine notes, “There was no word on why Clooney needed the surgery.” Can’t the answer just be “because he’s a kinky bastard”? Like, that’s the answer to everything. Why can’t George Clooney find a nice, smart girl and settle down? Why hasn’t Clooney won the Best Actor Oscar so far? Why does Clooney bring rent-a-dates to the Oscars? Why does every new “girlfriend” come with a new “injury”? BECAUSE HE’S A KINKY BASTARD.

By the way, Lainey notes that Stacy used to have this photo (below) on her Twitter page, and she seems to have deleted it. Hooker over-stepped!

Header photo courtesy of Jonathan Ogden’s Twitter. Additional pics by WENN.

 

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78 Responses to “George Clooney always has a mysterious “injury” with each new “girlfriend””

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  1. Rita says:

    For a man constantly in back-pain, this guy has a lot of injuries not associated with his crippling back injury.

    Did George dump Stacy for the black girl in the top picture? He’s getting a “tall gurl” fetish.

    • Elizabeth S. says:

      I think people might be reading too much into this.

      He always has a long term “girlfriend”. He’s always out livin’ his batchelor lifestyle. He’s been too old for that for a long time, and he gets injured.

      The fact remains that, of all the injuries he feels he has to admit to, he has a, um, partner. Because he has one all the frakking time.

  2. brin says:

    Kaiser I hope you aren’t hinting at elder abuse, that’s a serious thing.
    (yes, I’m being sarcastic).

  3. carrie says:

    he rides motorbikes and many bikers have accidents

  4. Reece says:

    Clooney meet Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon “I’m getting too old for this sh*t”

    Yes you are.

  5. NM9005 says:

    “Why can’t George Clooney find a nice, smart girl and settle down?”

    I bet the MiniVan would love that but that ain’t going to happen. Nevah…

    Who cares if he’s a kinky bastard? It’s well established by now that he’s a dirty old man but that doesn’t take away that he’s a good actor, intelligent and a nice guy in general. At least he’s being true to himself, not talking all the time about his private life to stay relevant (he doesn’t need to do that), living the good life without having to worry about love, children… His love life is just a fraction of who he is and not everybody has the same generic socially accepted sex and why in the bloody hell must he admit that he gets his injuries during sex??? Ewww seriously. You know how sick that must be when he would be making statements like “Clooney and Keibler had a bit of a violent sex romp which caused him to…his…”. Yuk.
    I wouldn’t want to hear it from Clooney or other people I don’t or barely know! My friends, ok. Celebs: NO! There’s a line of reading about celebs and that would be crossing it gravely…

  6. lamplighter says:

    guessing he’s right-handed and had to have surgery for self-pleasuring carpel tunnel. or self-pleasuring tennis elbow. or she broke his arm after catching him self-pleasuring. any or all of the above.

  7. daisydoodle says:

    yeah Ravens! who cares about Clooney…

  8. juicyjackie says:

    errrr as someone who well and truly sits in the kinky box and has a very broad taste in BDSM I cant imagine WTF he could do to hurt his arm in a kink way. The most I get is welts, bruises and err sore bits.

    He probably has early osteoporosis
    which he cant disclose because he will be a less sexy leading man and be more expensive to insure. The guy is 50 after all.

    If you break bones during a sex act its not BDSM / Kinky, its self harming and needs psychiatric attention

    • Hautie says:

      I am more inclined to believe, that George keeps falling off his step stool. While trying to master, using that sex swing that hangs from his bedroom ceiling.

      Maybe he should try wearing his sneakers to get a better traction. So he can stop injuring himself so much. And the step stool is not so slippery.

  9. Jules says:

    Love my ass, the only thing Clooney loves, is Clooney. This old dude is become too predictable and boring.

  10. Kimbob says:

    Well Kaiser, your hypothesis certainly does kind of explain things and fills in the gaps as to these strange injuries…that’s for sure!

    Me…I’m kind of still wondering whether or not he’s actually straight, a switch-hitter, or straight-up gay. After all, it’s kind of obvious by now that he has Contracts w/these “girlfriends.” And these Contracts have expiration dates. It’s all so fishy/sleazy/murky to me.

    These “injuries” could also be explained away w/same-sex trysts that could get a little out of hand, as well.

    Again, thanks Kaiser for your wonderful imagination. I’m right there w/you for the ride!

  11. considerit says:

    she looks so much better in jeans and a baseball hat than dressed up in her barbie clothes, slathered in make up.

  12. Mandi_So_CA says:

    He looks so old in the photos above!

  13. Marjalane says:

    I’m sorry but those pictures, armsling notwithstanding, make Clooney look like someone’s dumpy middle aged father. I know that’s unkind, and that we all get old, but I have about the same respect for Clooney as I do Demi Moore. Own your age! Be glad you’re not dead!

  14. LucyOriginal says:

    “You kno its love when your boyfriend has elbow surgery 2 days ago and takes u to a #ravens game…especially when he’s a Bengals fan.”

    Love???!!! AF IF…

    I understand now why she is called cray cray. Delusional much?

    Clooney is trying to change his PR strategy, but it’s not working. This ‘relationship” screams PR all over it (hate to admit that!). She gets a huge push for her “career” (150% increase and what else…) and he is trying to get her h*rny male fanbase to watch his movies.

    @Kaiser: you did not see her interview at NBC? She talks about the relationship and why people should watch The descendants (which she was unable to give a reasonable explanation, ha!).

  15. GUEST says:

    Either he is crazy about her or crazy that he felt he had to go to football game after surgery. What I don’t get is how dating her is going to get him an Oscar? He says his personal life is his own business, but he keeps making their relationship public. So what is it? I have seen some of her tweets and she is a real name dropper and has a real need to prove that they are going out? Why should she care what the public thinks if they are going out? The only thing that I can see is she is using the relationship to get her name out there? They both deserve each. other.

  16. Orange Cone says:

    and you know what else he ‘always has’? a back-up girl for his up and coming break-ups.

  17. truthful says:

    DANG!!!

    she is desperate, please tell me she did not tweet THAT!!! I thought he told her to cut down on the damn tweeting.

    really to be honest, I am getting sick of the whole revolving door w/him.

    Yet the thought of Elisabetta being angry at all of the attention, tickles me to pieces!

    ****is there something new going on here, there is a neat lil box around my post..I don’t know, it just looks more organized and cute on the site–in the response area–shrugs

  18. Canuk says:

    Ha! To Pitt: I’ll see your baseball and raise you a football AND an injury…

  19. sally says:

    Maybe it’s something as innocent as he likes to be taken care of? Maybe he likes his new girlfriends to be a nurse to him before he is willing to really let them into his life. Sort of like a test? I know it’s gross, but not as gross as bone breaking sex! lol!

  20. Turtle Dove says:

    Good catch, Kaiser. I didn’t notice the “injuries” until you pointed them out. Perhaps George tries to get a little showoff-y with his new piece and fails miserably.

    BTW, Lainey quite frequently posts and removes, so she’s in position to criticize anyone…

  21. mln76 says:

    Lainey has an old blind about George insinuating his injuries are extra-curricular in nature. I really can’t imagine what he’s doing though.

  22. Dani says:

    No Stace, I don’t think that’s love.

  23. Jaime says:

    Not an elbow CAST – it is a scoped post-op brace possibly due to dislocation/subluxation or ulnar nerve movement. But again – NOT A CAST!

    • Intercontinential says:

      Spot on, he could be getting pain radiating down his arm from his neck injury. Maybe the ulnar nerve is trapped in the neck/shoulder area and that’s what his op in Feb is? He had a black strap around his arm just above the elbow in the golf buggy pictures from Cabo a couple of weeks ago, that can also be a pre-op form of treatment.

  24. Meanchick says:

    Aaaaaw. That’s cute. She thinks she’s his girlfriend.

  25. GirlyGIrl says:

    He and Jonathan Ogden look like a cute couple…

    that’s right I know a bit about football,

    …quit judging me!!

  26. GiGi says:

    NOOOOO!!!! To Clooney’s casual wear! That man can rock a suit but his casual look is just so Land’s End Senior line!

  27. spinner says:

    I think Georges’ adoring fan base is turning on him. They are tired of his dishonest & very telling antics. I see his popularity taking a plunge.

  28. Denise says:

    Keibler elf probably had him in a wrestle hold with his arms pinned. His bones are probably a little brittle.

  29. Kit says:

    Just the thought that he is a really kinky bastard makes me like him a lot more! He’s suddenly more interesting again lol.

  30. Sumodo1 says:

    He always hurts himself playing basketball. But, that’s too normal for George, right?

  31. Devon says:

    Regardless of how he injured his elbow, the fact that he’s up and around wanting to go out and socialize 2 days after surgery is amazing. 2 days after my last surgery, all I wanted to do was lay on the couch watching bad movies. Granted mine was on my hip but still! Surgery is surgery and wowzers.

  32. Sigh. says:

    “Kinky bastard?” More like clumsy bastard.
    He’s been freaky with too many for too long for him to have forgotten that proper stretching and form and semi-annual equipment inspections are the keys to safe sodom-, er, you know where that goes (yes, yes, that’s what she said last night…).

    But I’m not buying the fab sex life with this one. She’s striking me as a “Holly” to his “Hef.” They just don’t bring the hot, IMHO.

  33. fabgrrl says:

    Eh, maybe he just tries to impress his new girl-of-the-month doing something stupid? He gets older, but they stay the same age. He probably wants to still seem young and vivacious and not like an old guy with bad knees, shoulders, coordination, etc.

  34. Jenn says:

    I think there may be some method to her madness. Now that she is “official” and he is deep into his shameless awards season campaign, she may feel free to do what she wants. He would not want the negative press about a messy break-up when he is trying to woo everyone with how great he is. Maybe being with her won’t get him an oscar, but dumping her might cost him one.

    Just a kooky theory as to why she is getting away with so much more than the others.

  35. shawn says:

    It’s all just part of his Oscar campaign. He’s playing the sympathy card, again.

  36. Intercontinential says:

    Aww, look, flying sky blue pink with multi coloured polka dot Clingons..whey heeeyyy! Oh dear gossip friends, it seems delusional is the order of the day..!:-)

    And yet..such a magnificent conundrum don’t you think? You’d be forgiven for thinking GC himself, being a huge word game player, had a hand in it, but not the right one, obviously..!

    Isn’t the ‘L’ word normally the first step to count down…? Mmm..

  37. madpoe says:

    This is just my opinion.
    But if you’re getting injury during sex, even kinky sex, I don’t think you’re doing it right. Or maybe you’re just no good at it? Unless the point is to have an injury. Than success!

  38. Elm says:

    Kaiser – you are funny and I totally agree with you – these ‘injuries’ are so odd!

    When I saw the cheesy top pic, I thought Clooney had finally come out and was pictured with his b*tch – they both look so happy, lol

    Notably Clooney does look small and wizened – suddenly he’s aged a hundred years in a week…. is he ill or does having a huger gf who looks like a teen just comparatively date him?

    I agree with Lainey – Clooney is from a different generation, and old-time romance simply does not work with the social media generation …. Clooney’s PR team seems to be fumbling and ineffective – Clooney is no longer hot

    Cray Cray is allowed not only to tweet but discuss their relationship on media networks whereas the last gf was fired for doing the same? … what, more reactive and clumsy PR!

    IF, as Stace claims …. it is TRUE LURVE (yup – in your dreams) … well good luck to them – but I don’t get those vibes … I expect her prices will plummet when he dumps her
    - next fashion faux-pas please Stace!

    • Carolyn says:

      Cosign. If I knew nothing about Clooney and was playing photo assumption…I would have though he and the chap in the first photo really like each other. Look at their genuine smiles and body language. I also don’t find him attractive anymore.

  39. LeeLoo says:

    Seriously, who cares if Clooney is a kinky old bastard? The rumors about his twisted sex life have been going on for years. Everyone knows, nobody cares.

  40. Chrissy says:

    Wow, Clooney looks OLD in those pics!

  41. Aqua says:

    O.K. that picture of the injury does leave a lot to ones imagination so I just going to leave well enough alone.

  42. Michelle says:

    Yes one should do that. hahahahah

  43. C.Lynn says:

    That group picture from the game is a photo with Stacy’s parents.

    The man on the far left (next to George) is Keibler’s father and the woman to the right of Stacy is her mother.

    What I find hilarious is how much younger Keibler’s dad looks than Clooney. When you see the two men stand side by side like this, it’s really noticeable. LOL!

    This is also the photo from Keibler’s twitter account. This trick really wants to prove to the world that she’s important GC and she’ll use a private family photo to do it. She may have deleted it now, but not until it made the rounds all over the internet and the tabloids first.

    I also love this bit … “You kno its love when your boyfriend has elbow surgery 2 days ago and takes u to a #ravens game…especially when he’s a Bengals fan.”

    She conveniently left out that this was a Ravens vs Bengals game. George was there to see his team play, as well. But it’s doesn’t make her look as special if people know Clooney’s team was also playing.

    People have mentioned that Clooney’s PR is failing miserably on this and I agree. However, it’s worthwhile to note that Keibler’s clumsy PR is failing just as badly. When will celebrities learn that the more you tweet about your private life the worse you look?

  44. JaneWonderfalls says:

    The sad thing is, I know she will be replaced soon! Unless George is calming his ways he always has a new girl lined up.

  45. Gemma says:

    it must not have been a serious surgery for him to go into a crowded arena with the possibility of jostling and bumping. football while the all american sport is really quite boring and i find people obsessed with this sport to be boring as well.

    btw, has anyone seen the clip of her dancing to that new video game? quite quite lame

  46. samira677 says:

    I’m almost positive there were photos of the motorcycle accident. At the very least the paps were witnesses. I don’t know why people think his injuries are from sex games. Wouldn’t he have bruises if he was into s&m?

  47. Eden says:

    Jack was nimble, Jack went limp, Clooney tried to wake Jack & broke his wrist! :)

  48. Charlottean says:

    Hmmm…he looks much happier posing with that guy than with any girlfriend he’s ever taken a picture with.

  49. Hmmm says:

    Clooney is a soulless freak. What else matters?

  50. wunder says:

    Here’s a ‘blind vice’ exposed Lainey item called ‘Doctors Orders’ re Clooney’s sexual inclinations and physical injuries:

    http://www.blinditemsexposed.com/search/label/George%20Clooney

  51. Annie says:

    I can be as snarky as anyone…but please,please
    explain the Clooney hate!!
    Perhaps he has a vigorous sex life and he dates or beards with young’ns but his work in Dafur definetly trumps these shenanigans in my book.
    He’s shined a light on a desperate situation and does his best to curtail genocide ( installed a satellite for Christ sake)
    Lay off my Georgie!!

    • Brit says:

      I don’t get the hate either. Especially since I am not sure why he would fake an injury to win an Oscar, that just doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t see the Academy saying, “Oh let George get nominated because he is dating a younger girl and has a broken arm.”

  52. Mitch Buchanan Rocks says:

    George Clooney and Madonna would make a tabloidtastic duo.

  53. kikay says:

    Whatever the heck George is,i think it’s just his age catching up on him.

  54. Anne de Vries says:

    Wait, why would being a kinky bastard preclude somebody from finding a nice smart girl and settling down? Plenty of nice smart girls are kinky bitches..

  55. Shit happens! says:

    I don’t remember watching any other a – list actor making such a fool of himself except maybe Tom Cruise on Oprah’s couch!
    By the way I have the same doormat vibe from both Stacy and Katie.
    He’s pathetic i can’t believe I’ve ever been a fan of his for so many years!
    The stacy thing is the slap on the face I needed to get over him so in a way i’m thankfull he’s doing such a classy lady!

  56. GoodCapon says:

    Why does he go through all the trouble to keep up appearances with all these girlfriends? I know no one is forcing him to come out in the open, but every child in the world knows that he’s gay.

  57. DarkEmpress says:

    I hope he loves her. I think she is cute and he is really starting to look less and less debonair. He is looking too frail for sexcapades.

  58. author says:

    I don’t know something about Stacy they way her body is shaped. There is something very mannish about it. I am not saying that she is ugly. She just looks like she has heavy bones.

  59. Intercontinential says:

    Err…a tendon tear peeps…are we buying this??

    http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20547345,00.html

  60. Lorenzo says:

    Showing off in the yellow press with the striptease wrestler will not help to win an Oscar.
    It didn’t help the last years to show up with one of these women and will not help next year.
    If he doesn’t win, he is the only one to blame.
    Too old to learn to do something different?