Two nights ago, NBC aired an hour-long special on William and Kate’s married life. They literally spent a half an hour on Will & Kate’s trip to North America. Because that’s pretty much the only “royal duty” they really did as a married couple – they went on a two-week tour and they fulfilled their obligations very well, but other than that…??? Yeah. Their collective “royal CV” is a bit light. William is patron to a dozen charities or so, but Kate… well, we’re still waiting. Until the palace announces something, anything that Kate will deign to work on, we’re being inundated by stories of how Kate’s first Christmas with the royal family is going to be so, so difficult.
Now… Kate has spent every Christmas with her family, of course. The way the royal family works, mere girlfriends (or boyfriends) are not allowed to enter the royal sphere during the holidays. And since the royal family is like a cult, once you marry into the family, you have to spend all of the holidays with the royals and never your own family. In addition to that harshness, the Queen seems to prefer her Christmases to be organized with military precision. No lolling about in your pajamas under the tree, playing with your gifts. No frying “Christmas bacon” in your underwear. No getting hammered on ‘nog whilst wearing a “F–k me, I’m Santa” hat. How will Kate ever persevere?
If Kate Middleton thought her royal wedding was stressful, she hasn’t seen anything yet: In less than two weeks, the Duchess, 29, will spend her very first Christmas weekend with husband Prince William and the entire royal family at Sandringham manor, Queen Elizabeth’s retreat in Norfolk, England.
Without her royal aides, parents or siblings at her side (no in-laws are invited), the princess will “quickly learn that this is not like any Christmas she has had,” a royal source tells the new Us Weekly, out now.
Just packing for the holiday will be a challenge, as the fashion icon is expected to change up to five times a day for formal meals, black-tie- cocktails, church services and gift exchanges (novelty presents are encouraged for Christmas Eve exchanges!).
To be sure, come the 25th, “Kate won’t be able to spend the morning in her pajamas,” the source says. There will be gin and tonics in the saloon, and then a meal of lamb. Christmas Day, “the royals rise to stockings, stuffed with small gifts and fruit, at the feet of their beds.” Then church. Then, at 1pm, lunch of a giant turkey. At 3pm, they watch the queen’s taped speech to the nation on TV, and later, board games! Except Monopoly, which has been banned, as it “gets too vicious.”
Adds Robert Jobson, author of William and Kate: The Love Story: “It will be a difficult baptism in protocol laced with pitfalls…She’s first the first outsider since Camilla…so all eyes will be on her.”
Boxing Day, Kate will be expected to shoot pheasant and act outdoorsy. But! She may not, under any circumstances, wear the American Abomination known as blue jeans. Dungarees are banned! Kate may wear corduroys, however. Doesn’t all just sound marvelous?
But surely, the Queen will give her new granddaughter-in-law something nice for Christmas? Maybe diamonds. I hope diamonds. A tiara?!?
OK! Magazine has a similar story about Kate’s “first Christmas” with the royal family. According to a source close to Kate, she‘s “nervous but excited. It’s going to seem strange not being at her parents’ home on Christmas. And she’s certain to feel a tinge of sadness, but the truth is she can’t wait.” And of course, Kate has already done a ton of shopping – for herself!
Kate’s been shopping at Zara and L.K. Bennett for clothes for her three-day stay, and requested two Alexander McQueen evening gowns.
“Kate will need a casual outfit for breakfast, a suit and hat for morning church service, a dress for lunch, a cocktail dress for early-evening drinks and a full-length dress for the evening meal,” explains royal-etiquette expert Jean Broke-Smith. “The golden rule is nothing too short, too revealing or too gaudy.”
On Christmas Eve, the royals gather at 6 p.m. in the White Drawing Room around a 20-foot Christmas tree, cut from the estate and decorated by the Queen herself. Then they exchange presents.
“Kate knows the Queen likes high-tech gadgets, but William has told her to keep it simple and give something like homemade jam,” confides the friend. “The royals regard expensive gifts as vulgar and not in keeping with the true spirit of Christmas.”
[From OK! Magazine]
Okay, okay, NO DIAMONDS. I get it. (Sidenote: the Queen likes gadgets?) Another source claims that when it comes time for the scheduled “fun time,” “Kate’s said she wants to try some of the Queen’s cider, which is made from apples grown on the estate.” And just a few days after Christmas, Kate, William and Pippa will be headed to Mustique with Kate’s parents. Now THAT should be fun.
Cover courtesy of Jezebel, additional pics by Fame & WENN.
I hope she gets hammered and has a “jolly good time”.
Sounds lovely! I’d have a lie-in the next day instead of going shooting though.
I think we all should stop pretending that these people “work”. They dress up in costumes, perform silly rituals and look pretty. That’s it. 🙂 So, they’ve been doing just that, basically. 🙂
Princes William and Harry do work. You might not think they or the rest of the family do all that much, but can we please refrain from minimizing the work William and Harry have done?
THANK YOU
Someone should do a spreadsheet on how much they “work” v their spare time (for example, partying or playing polo for charity, attending glittery events (for charity) taking endless ‘vacations’ from the ‘grind for charity’).
I think you are underestimating how physically and emotionally exhausting it is to to have to stand through endless ceremonies, make small talk with endless people (remembering who they are and what their backgrounds are), make speeches in public, shake countless hands and generally having to fake total interest in everything and everyone, all the while knowing that you’re being watched. photographed and judged throughout.
I think it was Diana who said the job was 90% slog and 10% fantastic.
Remember too that for most of them it’s not like they decided this is what they really wanted to do in life. They didn’t choose a job that suited their personalities and interests and they can’t change jobs if they don’t enjoy it anymore.
I think Kate actually did want this as her job. Badly. Is not like someone forced her.
I actually think she enjoys the attention.
Being William’s lapdog is the only thing she proved herself to be capable of doing well.
Whomever thinks differently, in my eyes, is pretty much delusional and not well informed. And by delusional I don’t mean to insult I mean it truly….as in the behavioral science books.
Wow, they are such victims!
Try that when you have no servants, organisers, event planners, the right clothes, no acolytes and you’re shlepping for charity/fundraising. It’s gotta be tough to have people fawn all over you and hang onto your every vacuous, glib word. I need a gin and tonic just thinking about it.
I guess it does irk when you could be out falling down drunk in nightclubs instead.
Diana –
I find that it’s usually the tweens and teenagers who worship Kate and think she is perfect, that the woman can’t do anything wrong. They have never heard of this woman before the wedding and most certainly have never heard anything about her shenanigans and crass behavior prior to becoming a Duchess.
They took notice of her only after the Palace scrubbed her image clean (in 24 hrs she became holier-than-thou Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge) and the media were in a sycophantic frenzy over her and her cheap family. Of course they’re all going to swallow all that BS as they don’t know anything else.
Because of that, their opinion will always be irrelevant and invalid to me.
Well said GoodCapOn. No truer words were ever spoken.
And it’s not just teenage girls, but most of the American public is the same way. Not their fault I guess sine most Americans didn’t really know who she was before the wedding. Of course it’s no reason to be ill informed, especially if you’re making this Geisha your idol.
Apparently the Queen still treats her own relatives as subjects despite it being Christmas. Oh, to be a fly on the wall at these gatherings…
Re the queen and gadgets: I read that she was the first head of state to send an email, waaay back in 1976. I think it was still darpanet at that time!
So if she were the first, who’d she send it to? I know she wouldn’t deign to email anyone who was not a head of state lol.
Wow, that sounds hard! You have to wake up, get dressed, go to church, eat, then play board games. Geez. That’s way too difficult. Then the next day, you have to go outside and walk around. How will Kate handle this?
As long as someone is around to take her photo, she’ll be fine.
I know, it sounds really difficult! I’m really worried for her. I hope that she can make it through the entire holiday without fainting.
Well the hardest part will be “fake” eating when it comes to lunch and dinnertime. Hiding her anorexia will be a task.
Well that sucks, I have to get up, get dressed and go to work before I can enjoy the day with my family.
Wait, go back — QEII likes high-tech gadgets? Actually that makes sense, she was a mechanic for the war before being queen yeah?
Kate, get her a Kindle Fire!
I’ve read numerous funny stories of how rigid and cut-throat royal Christmas is. Anne won’t curtsy to Camilla. No one wants to play Monopoly with Andrew because he sulks if he loses. When the Queen is finished eating (45 minutes I hear), everyone is finished eating.
But, you know, Waity plotted and planned 10 years for this. She’s about to get what she wished for.
And a special bonus, she gets to kill little birds the next day.
>>And a special bonus, she gets to kill little birds the next day
Haha worst Disney Princess ever! 😛
when the Queen finish eating, everyone finishes – not only on Christmas, that’s always the protocol
What a lovely, warm family custom. She treats her family like her subjects. Actually, they are her subjects.
This is not a state banquet. It’s supposed to be a family dinner.
OMG, that’s too funny. I can just picture the royal family drinking gin and having a ‘vicious’ game of monopoly!
Bwahahaha! I wonder if playing Monopoly was so vicious that they brought guns. Sounds about right. 🙂
No thanks, I’d rather have a day job and be the queen in my own life. Someone trying to tell me how to dress on Christmas or any other day? Good luck with that!
Enjoy your life, Katie. Better you than me.
Yes. Agree with you 100%, but also she can’t say no I won’t do it, because she lives from William grandma’s pocket. She can’t say no and will not say no. She would rather jump on any of the royal family members laps and ask to be petted for being good.
Sandringham manor? I’ve never ever heard Sandringham called a manor!
That all sounds incredibly stuffy. Lol I love my Christmases the way they are. Jeans ARE dressed up ’round here.
Right? That’s one of the crappy parts about being rich: a party is never just a party. It’s an EVENT every time. I know people are making jokes, but honestly, it all sounds exhausting to me!
Yeah, pass me the smelling salts.
LOL @ ‘Except Monopoly, which has been banned, as it “gets too vicious.” ‘
And then on to Mustique? Life is hard and full of labour for the royals, it seems. They must be worn out.
Nope. Mustique just for Kate, because you know, she’s worked so hard since her wedding that she needs a holiday after all the shopping, dressing up, and hair appointments she’s had to attend galas and fancy dinners.
She hasn’t done anything else of importance but be pretty and meet high-profile people, shop for clothes, and sit down and eat (eating might be optional for her these days).
Just imagine how much holiday and “therapy” she’d need once she actually takes on more serious royal duties.
You know fuck all. None of you do, and neither do I.
Hahaha the pro-Kates are very defensive today!
Wow BooBooKitty —
Calm down dear — I think you need a nap.
Isn’t this zara phillips’ husband’s first Xmas with them too?
I’d love to spend Christmas in a castle and wear Alexander McQueen gowns to fancy dinners. Tough life!
So many of you people bash Kate as if you know exactly what’s going on in her life and what’s expected of her. You don’t!
Is she somehow offending you by not looking busy every minute of every day? Do you think everything she does is going to be reported, and nothing kept under-wraps? Give her a break. She’s been William’s wife for about 8 months; just give her some time.
She’s had all the time she’s getting from me. It’s 8yrs since she left university and considering all the educational benefits and social opportunities she’s had she has done damn all with her life. She will be 30 in a few weeks and still behaves like a gooey teenager who can’t walk out the door without clinging onto her boyfriend’s hand, the only thing she seems capable of is cooking dinner for the hubby (sometimes), shopping for clothes and going to the hair dressers.
If she didn’t want the job she shouldn’t have accepted it and after all that’s what being a British princess is a job. “Just give her some time” …..yes why not, I’m sure may boss would have been happy to wait 8mths plus for me to decide to do my job when he hired me.
She gets millions of pounds from tax payers money to re-do her “20 room home”. Her and William’s estimated security bill (payed by tax payers) is about 2.5 million pounds per year.
How much slack one could possibly cut to this woman?
So Trek Girl —
How much time do you think an almost 30 year old woman needs to be able to pick a couple of charities and string some coherent words together?
Even when she’s occasionally out and about, she doesn’t look busy.
That was what Kate waited for. She wanted it for 10 years and now she can enjoy living with such “family” in which no spontaneous nor normal familial nor warm relationships or conversations actually exist.
She wanted it and she is getting what she bargained for.
I don’t think changing 5 outfits a day is something Kate would dislike.
At least her husband got a job. He is a military man and is serving his country.
I feel sorry for him for having to endure such “holidays” instead of real family gathering.
How do they get anything done, they spend all their time changing clothes!?
Hard not to laugh about the Queen being a closet techie. Maybe she plays angry birds during her downtime too.
Bwahahaha! I am going to remember you :). Thanks for the laugh!
So the gin & tonics and lamb — that’s breakfast?
I thought that too! Lamb for breakfast?! A chocolate bar from a selection box more like =D
I don’t envy the royals. Yeah they’re rich and have servants and big massive palaces. But their Christmas sounds so regimental and stuffy. It should be all fun and relaxing and eating loads of good food and having a laugh with the family. Sod the royals, I’ll take my Christmas anyday =D
I read “conducted with military prison”. Yikes
It sounds so stuffy and void of any human warmth…
But the bit that gets me is the hunting on the next day. Really ? Is that your idea of fun ? How heartless. And this is who we set up as examples. It disgusts me.
They don’t view it as stuffy – they view it as normal. As for killing birds – that’s why the birds are there. The habitat for those birds is carefully preserved just so that they can be shot – there is an economic incentive to maintain the land for that purpose. The birds get eaten – either by the royals or they get sold. So unless you are vegan, you can’t really complain. The pheasants have a happier life than a turkey from a factory farm.
Aristocrats always go shooting during the winter. That IS their Christmas custom – always has been.
“They” may be the Belmont city council, whose members have obtained hate mail for passing the no-smoking-at-home ordinance, which one former council member likens along with other matters of shared-living etiquette