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Britney Spears' gorgeous bodyguard and sometimes manny, 28 year-old Naval Academy graduate Perry Taylor, has been removed from his close position with the troubled pop star and is now working security detail on a daily as-needed basis. He was helpful, attractive, and friendly, and K-Fed is said to have asked Britney to fire him after he heard about how Perry was changing Sean Preston's diapers and serving as Britney's unofficial nanny:

Obviously K-Fed is still feeding his friends quotes to give to the rags, because the source was careful to say that he wasn't jealous or anything. Oh of course not. We've never seen Kevin wearing a Baby Bjorn, but Perry donned the baby carrier with pride and a cute button smile.

People were unsure about Perry's identity at first, initially confusing him with Britney's record producer, J.R. Rotem, with whom he bears a resemblance. Perry's identity soon came out, though, and he became an Internet and press phenomenon.

Perry was touted as the reason behind Britney's cleaned-up appearance in the absence of K-Fed, and people speculated that she was having an affair. Perry's mom put those rumors to rest by telling the press that her son had a hot live-in girlfriend.

Everyone from the NY Times to U.S. News and World report discussed the merits of male nannys, or the "manny." We couldn't get enough of Perry.

Then, last week, Britney was seen out alone and with new jet-black hair after her "Dateline" debacle. It seemed the rumors of Kevin's dissatisfaction with being upstaged by the help were true, and that Britney had obeyed her do-nothing husband and got rid of the best thing that happened to her since the birth of her baby.

We haven't seen the last of Perry Taylor, though. We hope that Angelina is watching this young guy's rise to fame, and will hire him to soften up the image of her security force while lending an extra set of hands to care for Shiloh and Zahara.

Thanks to Kylie on MySpace for reminding me about Perry.

Here are pictures of helpful Perry during his employment with Britney. He's been seen buying flowers for Britney, and he even holds the car door open for her.

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Paris Hilton appeared on a German TV show yesterday wearing a custom-made soccer jersey with "Hilton" written on the back. She said she thought Germany's soccer player Lukas Podolski was "hot," but Podolski is from Poland and just plays for Germany.

Host Stefan Raab: "So, you like Lukas Pudolski?"

Paris: "I don't know him, I just think he's really good looking. He's an amazing player."

Stefan Raab: "First he comes from Poland, but then he comes from Cologne. You're single at the moment? Maybe I can arrange something between you and Lukas Podolski. Wouldn't it be nice? Paris Podolski?"

Paris, laughing: "I wish them luck on Friday."

Here's the clip, courtesy of The Wade Blogs:

Paris next directed an on-stage soccer tournament with blindfolded players shouting "Harder Harder! Kick it forward hard! Kick it in!" You can watch that segment here.

The Wade Blogs points out that Paris has been saying she wants to get with various soccer players as she promotes her album in Europe. Some of her quotes in the British press are rather suspect, though:

Now that Paris has almost ruined the careers of quarterback Matt Leinart and hockey player Jose Theodore the sports world is interested in her. ESPN's Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon debated Paris' love life on their show "Pardon the Interruption" this week:

It does look like Paris is fixated on athletes, although some are bound to take their teammates advice like Matt Leinart and stay far away from the herpes-laden heiress.

Paris said earlier in this German interview "I think German guys are really hot." I can attest to that, since my husband is German. If the German game of the World Cup wasn't on now I might have asked him to translate some of the German in that video.

Germany is now playing Argentina in the World Cup, and Argentina is unfortunately up by one goal. Lukas Podolski got a yellow card four minutes into the game.

Update Germany won in nail-biting penalty kick overtime!

Here is Paris promoting her CD in Cologne on June 27th. She wearing those dumb yellow shoes with the giant bows again. [via]

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Coco Cox pulled her mom's top down while they were swimming. Courtney seems to think it's funny, and these pictures are pretty cute. My husband appreciated them too.

Jennifer Aniston sent Courteney Cox a bizarre present for her 42nd birthday on June 15th - a transexual performer that looked like her character Rachel Green from "Friends":

Too bad there aren't any pictures of the tranny with Courteney. That would have been much better than Tori Spelling and her tranny inpersonator.

Courteney has a great beach body and hasn't succumbed to the super-thin look of some celebrity mothers. There's a picture of her power walking with weights in the latest Us Weekly.

Pictures from Egotastic via Mollygood.

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Nicole Richie was supposedly back with DJ AM for the third time, and was seen getting lunch with him at In-and-Out burger on June 20th. It's hard to keep up, though. Us Weekly says:

Richie is playing the delicate game of trying to stay fuck-buddies with her ex to minimize the breakup pain, but keeping her options open. She was spotted with unlikely beau Matt Dillion at Hollywood hotspot Chateau Marmot last week:

Even if Dillion only spent five minutes with Richie, that's plenty of time for a meaningful relationship to develop. Both Busta Rhymes and Kevin Smith's pal Jason Mewes claim to have had quickies with the tiny socialite.

Richie and Dillon make an unlikely couple, but Dillon seems like a good guy who's mature enough to commit at least. Maybe something will come of it.

Dillon will next star in the comedy "You, Me and Dupree" as Kate Hudson's husband. Owen Wilson plays an unwelcome houseguest.

Here is Richie at the opening of Club Social Hollywood on 6/27. Matt Dillon is shown with director Brett Ratner at a party for the president of the Dominican Republic on 6/23, and at the Dolce & Gabbana party where he hooked up with Nicole Richie on 6/22. He is also seen with his brother, Kevin, at the "Entourage" Season Three New York Premiere after party on 6/7. Only the first picture of Richie is high resolution.

Get your hair to look like Nicole Richie's with easy to follow instructions at Beauty Riot.

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Charlize Theron was given the "Spirit of Independence" award at the LA film festival yesterday. Theron says that it's a misconception that you're typecast once you do indie films and can't make the transition to blockbuster movies. That's probably true if you're a statuesque blonde with great talent, but not if you're a short fat character actor:

With an academy award and a new serious role in the works, Theron doesn't have to worry much about her career.

The Spirit of Independence Awards were presented by Virginia Madsen and Jimmy Smits and also honored directors Steve Collins and Amy Berg.

Here is Charlize at the Spirit of Independence awards with the Target dog, and her boyfriend, actor Stuart Townsend. Her left hand is not visible in these pictures, so we can't see if she's wearing that wedding ring again.

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Tori Spelling's relationship with her mother is so bad that she didn't learn about her father television producer Aaron's death until after it hit the media - and she read a consolation e-mail from a friend:

Tori is fighting with her mom, Candy, and hasn't spoken to her for months. She wanted to make fun of her mom's eBay hobby in her VH1 faux reality show, so NoTORIous, but her mom got pissed and refused to go along with it. Loni Anderson had to play her mom on the series.

Tori says that she did see her dad on June 11th, and that she believes he held on until he was able to see her, and then was able to slip quietly away.

When I read that Tori thought she somehow gave her dad permission to die, I thought that was arrogant of her. Then I asked a couple of people about it and they had similar stories of loved ones waiting to see someone before they died. This is all too sad to think about, so let's move on to trashing Tori.

It's not surprising that her family isn't pleased with her. She left her first husband, writer Charlie Shanian, after barely a year of marriage and a $1 million wedding at her father's estate. She was cheating on the guy with actor Dean McDermott, who was also married with a wife and kids at home. She married McDermott in a private ceremony in Fiji on May 7 with none of her family present.

Tori attended her dad's funeral on June 25th, but her mom issued a statement about Aaron's death the day before only on behalf of herself and Randy. Tori's name was left off in a deliberate snub.

The US Weekly article speculates that Tori's mom may be having an affair with "Beverly Hills businessman Mark Nathansan." Of course Tori blabbed about this to the rag, but then she tries to take the high road by saying "My mom's behavior simply made me uncomfortable to be around my family."

Tori's mom is completely outraged by accusations in the cover story on this week's Us, and issued another statement condemning Tori for her big mouth:

Tori's father Aaron was known for conspicuous consumption and has the largest mansion in all of California. Her mother is characterized by Us as "an ex-model with a penchant for furs, diamonds and doll-collecting."

No details of Aaron Spelling's will have been made public yet, but Tori must be expecting to get a large chunk of her father's fortune or she wouldn't be so bold as to sell her story so soon after her father's death.

Tori is rumored to be pregnant, which might explain the terrible outfit she wore to the Linea Pelle 20th Anniversary Party in LA on 6/12.

Pictures [via]

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- Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman on their honeymoon. She doesn't look pregnant [Bricks and Stones]
- We posted the pictures of Mena Suvari pumping gas, but The Bastardly captioned them like only they can [The Bastardly]
- Paris Hilton brings her monkey, tiger and ferrets to Vegas for the weekend, soon realizes that it's not fun to travel with a menagerie [MollyGood]
- Josh Duhamel and Tommy Lee's luscious fight club action [Tabloid Whore]
- Angelina Jolie's brother sent his camera out for repairs. Two guys in Connecticut got really lucky or really unlucky depending on your perspective. [Wizbang Pop]
- Marcia Cross wedding photos [I'm not obsessed]
- A glass of wine at Social Hollywood costs as much two bottles at the gas 'n sip [La.com]
- Kate Bosworth and Brandon Routh on Total Request Live [PopSugar]
- Jessica Alba loves free stuff [Hollywood Tuna]
- Nicole Richie has some In 'n Out [The Superficial]
- Kate Hudson pole dances for her lucky husband [Derek Hail]
- Agent Provocateur makes nursing bras? Who knew. [The Chic Mommy]
- Jessica Alba has the luckiest dog in the world [Egotastic]

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Having failed to convert Britney Spears to Kabbalah, Madonna is trying to bring Lindsay Lohan into the fold. Lohan is in need of some spiritual guidance in between all of her exhausting bed hopping, and
admitted to being interested in the cult back in March:

Now that Lohan has stuck her little toe into the expensive Kabbalah tap water, Madonna has renamed her in an attempt to prime her for full-on indoctrination:

People who stay in cults are so gullible. (There's no shame in getting caught up in a cult or being born into one. Staying active in one for years by your own will and trying to convert other people is another thing.) Madonna may think she's the queen of pop music, but she's giving all her cash to some shysters in exchange for their bubble-gum insight and a sense of superiority. It may feed her smug attitude, but maybe she'll realize at some point what's going on and feel like the fool she is.

If you don't think Kabbalah is a cult, read cult expert Rick Ross' articles on it. Kabbalah and its founder, Philip Berg, have ruined lives and ripped off thousands of people. Lohan is about to be next. She loves spending money, and she's about to get a chance to throw some down the dark hole of manufactured spiritual enlightenment.

Here's a link to a good overview of the characteristics and techniques of cults. It's not just about losing money. A lot of families, friends, and personal identities get washed out too.

Here is Madonna with her daughter, Lourdes, in NY on 6/27, [via] and Lindsay Lohan at the opening of club Social Hollywood also on 6/27. [via]

Madonna is wearing blue slippers in these pics, and she's not wearing her wedding ring.

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I was right that Britney dyed her own hair black. I said at the time "Britney probably popped into the local CVS to make her own decision to dye her hair this jet black color." This weeks Us Weekly details Britney's rash decision to go black:

Inset pictures in the article say that "Spears called Oscar Blandi Salon's colorist, Christopher Cillione, on June 29, but he was fully booked," and that Spears "plans to go back to her natural color, light brown, after she has the baby."

There are several things I don't believe about this article. The first is that Britney called her doctor to ask if it was ok. Who does that? She is said to be overly concerned after all the problems with SP, and this could be true, but I doubt it. The second is that she used some kind of temporary "vegetable dye" color as is reported by her publicist. If that was true, she would have gone back to blonde for the Bazaar photo shoot. It's also not true that she had blonde extensions added for the Bazaar shoot, because we have the pictures and her hair is completely black.

In Touch asks if Britney's trying to copy Angelina with her new hair color:

Britney's hair does look better black and in a bob, but you can tell it's a DIY job and not professionally done. It's one blah color and lacks the slight variations and highlights a stylist could add that would make it look more natural. She needs to get it fixed in a month or so and add some subtle darker highlights.

Check out celebrity hairstyle how-tos at Beauty Riot.

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Christina Aguilera is such a diva. Not only does she arrive hours late for most every scheduled interview, she also refuses to look interviewers in the eye. She insists that the room is darkly lit and sits facing the other way while she answers questions:

If this is true it's ridiculous and Aguilera deserves a serious career slump for being so arrogant. Maybe she'll learn when she's older that she's no better than anyone else and that you have to be kind to people - especially the press - if you want a good reputation.

Maybe kids will soften Aguilera's outlook - although she predictably doesn't seem to want any because they would interfere with the amount of time she has available to apply makeup. She's vague on the issue of children and gives a diplomatic answer to make it seem like not completely uninterested in them:

Notice that she doesn't say she'll start thinking of having a family, she gives an answer that's even more removed from that - "we'll start venturing into the mindframe of starting" a family. That means no way does she want kids at this point.

She has also called her new album "Back to Basics" her "child" and that it's like having twins:

WTF would she know about having kids or being pregnant? That's so fucking snotty. Once Aguilera realizes she wants kids - when she's over 35 and her clock is ticking - she won't be able to get pregnant because she couldn't be bothered when she was fertile.

Here she is leaving her New York City hotel on 6/22 [via] and outside of MTV's Total Request Live on 6/21.

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Mena Suvari is content to wear the really tight pants in her relationship and is pumping gas while her younger boyfriend, breakdancer Mike Carrasco, looks on. Carrasco hails from Las Vegas, is four years younger than Suvari, 27, and met her in February of this year. Suvari is divorcing German cinematographer Robert Brinkman, 44, after six years of marriage.

Pictures [via]

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I usually ignore this chick Jodie Marsh, because she's just some British slut who is only famous because she wears outfits like these. I always confuse her with Jordan, but she's two steps down from Jordan. It's hard to pass up these photos, though. She would look over the top at a porn convention, but she was attending the charity premiere of "Just My Luck" in London in this getup.

Marsh is also shown with the band McFly, which has a single out joking about Lohan's affair McFly's drummer Harry Judd, making it rather funny that they're at the opening of Lohan's crappy movie. Lohan says she never got with Judd, but Judd says she must have a short memory.

I showed these pictures to my dad. (I'm visiting my family in the states.) He thinks she's desperate and said "how would you like to pet those puppies?"

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Sorry for all the semi-nude female celebrities today. I'm in a hurry and am filling up on pictures rather than leave you with fewer posts brimming with my bad insight.

Teri Hatcher doesn't have delusions of grandeur like Eva Longwhoria. She says that "Desperate Housewives" is her "dream job" and that she isn't trying to make the move to the big screen:

It's pretty smart of her to realize where her bread and butter come from.

She looks like she ditching the anorexic look that is so last season and has gained a few essential pounds. It's hip to be fat now, and stars like Victoria Beckham are in denial.

Pictures [via]

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Yesterday I mentioned the US Weekly article about Britney's consultation with her christian life coach, and how she has taken Kevin back. The article makes it seem as if it's this glorious reunion and that everything will be fine in their troubled relationship after the vacation photo op they took. This is in complete contrast to other reports we read that had Britney and Kevin sleeping in separate hotel rooms and avoiding each other on that same trip.

Kevin also promised to spend four to five hours each day with Sean Preston to give Britney a break. Now that Perry's gone he better take up some of the slack.

This glowing report of their renewed love must be one Kevin's peeps giving good news to the rags for once after Britney told Kevin to stop feeding his friends stories to sell to the press. There's no way everything is fine in their relationship or that their misguided love with conquer all.

Britney may dress trashy, but she lives in more style then the majority of the planet will experience in its lifetime. It's kind of incongruous to see Britney in a tie-dye and Kevin in camo pants in a private jet, and it reminds us how privileged these people are, and why we make fun of them in the first place. These pictures are from Breatheheavy.com, and are said to be "stolen from Britney's private album" by Us Weekly.

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You probably heard about Barbara Walters saying that Star made a surprise announcement that she was leaving "The View," and that she trumped her opportunity to do it "with dignity". She knew that she was leaving "for months" and just decided to blurt it out on the show and piss everyone off. Well now Star's not coming back, and the old ladies who live in Florida and make up the bulk of "The Views" audience will rejoice, along with all the rest of us who never watch that piece of crap show but still make fun of it.

Here's Barbara dissing Star:

And contrary to previous reports, Star has nothing lined up for her next gig at all. Maybe she'll go back to being a lawyer. Or she can go for the quick cash and become a spokesperson for the latest junky exercise equipment they're touting on late night infomercials.

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Pamela Anderson is on an European tour to raise money and awareness for animal rights and AIDS. She appeared at Stella McCartney's boutique in London yesterday to speak out for PETA against fur. Anderson held a party and awards show for celebrities who have worked with PETA. Gillian Anderson and Sadie Frost, Jude Law's ex, were in attendance. She promised that if she raised enough money for PETA she would strip naked in the shop window, and she didn't dissapoint - except for the thong.

I do eat meat but I feel the same way about fur. I would like to talk smack to people wearing fur, but the only people I see wearing it are really old ladies who don't seem to know better.

Along with Beyonce and J.Lo, another "celebrity" who wears fur with false pride is Sharon Stone. PETA would attack her, but she's such a has-been that she's under their radar.

Here is Anderson in the shop window of Stella McCartney's London boutique on 6/28 [via] and in Greece for MAC's AIDS fund on 6/26. [via]

What's wrong with Anderson's left arm? She has red marks on it that don't look healthy. Is that related to hepatitis or just a weird bruise?

The poster of these pictures from Greece at Saving Face, dexterangelo7, notes that they're an "amazing comparison of airbrushed vs. real life pam."

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Paris Hilton went along with a dumb radio prank iniated by some British DJs. They called up a Glasgow Hilton and had her ask for a family discount:

That's stupid, but it isn't as rude as some of the other crap that radio DJs pull on air. It seems rather harmless.

It does bring up the mind-boggling issue of celebrities thinking they can get stuff heavily discounted and for free. Since when did making lots of money just for showing up entitle celebrities to get things free too? Of course they are great billboards, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have to pay for stuff like the rest of us.

Here is Paris arriving at Radio One for her interview on 6/26. When are those terrible bug-eyed sunglasses going to out of fashion? [

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- Video of Beyonce and Jay-Z's performance at the BET Awards [Just Jared]
- BET Awards: Arrivals [Faded Youth]
- Performances at the BET Awards [Concrete Loop]
- Beyonce wears fingerless gloves too [Mollygood]
- Hottie from "Flavor of Love" at the BET Awards [DListed]
- Jordan is your Homeboy now has video updates, and he's hot! [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- Cap't Jack Sparrow is Bi [WWTDD]
- Scarlet Johansson and Woody Allen do NY [Glitterati]
- Woody Allen says Scarlet Johansson is "sexually overwhelming." eww [Egotastic]
- Brad tells Angelina: no more kids for now [popbytes]
- Star Jones doesn't have another job lined up after all [BlogNYC]
- Barbara Walters says that Star Jones' announcement that she's leaving was a betrayal and a surprise [Wizbang Pop]
- The Bastardly lady of the day is stacked [The Bastardly]
- Tom Cruise makes cheap babies [Derek Hail]
- Paris Hilton goes out in her undies [yeeeah]
- Britney Spears is like Ursula from "Little Mermaid" [Cityrag]
- Emilie de Ravin (Claire from "Lost") gets married [I'm not obsessed]

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The lead story in The National Enquirer has Brad and Angelina fighting over the fact that Brad doesn't get any alone time with the gorgeous mother of new baby and two adopted kids. Brad supposedly wanted to have a private lunch with Angelina, but she deferred in favor of watching the kids. She certainly has enough kids to take care of:

The article then rehashes Angelina's fight with Brad when he went out in London one night when she was sick. A "family friend" also claims that Angelina is having trouble breastfeeding little Shiloh, and that she feels guilty that she may have to supplement with formula. She is also said to feel guilt over the fact that she wasn't able to have a natural birth.

Plus Brad is still smoking, and Angelina may be "fed up" with his nasty habit.

This all sounds like normal stuff that happens with a growing family, and The Enquirer seems to be making more out of it than warranted.

Who knows how bad their fight was? Maybe Brad just wanted to get out of the house and didn't storm out after all.

He did go out on his bike, though, because there were pictures all over the place. It's easy enough to draw conclusions based on that.

They were said to be having trouble back in Paris in the loud and dirty neighborhood they rented an apartment in, and Brad was supposedly sleeping on the couch because pregnant Angelina needed the space in bed to herself.

If all of this is true, it seems pretty normal considering all the stress they must be under with the new baby and the move. Even with a lot of help, it's still a lot of work.

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Charlize Theron wore what looked like an engagement and a wedding ring on her left hand to the grand opening of club Social Hollywood last night, June 27. She was accompanied by her boyfriend, Irish actor Stuart Townsend. We spotted an engagement ring on Theron's left hand in late April when she was photographed attending a basketball game with Townsend. There was a rumor shortly afterward that they were planning a secret wedding in Savannah, GA, but nothing seems to have come of that.

There's no ring on Townsend's left hand, but this still looks suspicious. Whatever the story, Theron is trying to tell us something. Celebrities don't just wear rings on their left ring finger to openings without having an ulterior motive.

This is kind of an exclusive, because as far as we know we're the first blog to cry wolf about Theron's rings.

Pictures [via]

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I bought The National Enquirer partially due to the headline "Nicole's Miscarriage Secret: The heartbreak behind her wedding." The headline makes it seem as if Nicole was pregnant, as everyone has been speculating, but lost the baby right before her wedding to Keith Urban - just like Brenda on "Six Feet Under." This wasn't the case at all.

All the Enquirer did was recycle the old story of Nicole's miscarriages during her marriage to half-pint Tom Cruise and present it as some big exclusive that caused her pain during her nuptuals. This is a cheap trick to sell papers, and it worked:

How is that news? We already knew Nicole had a miscarriage, and someone speculating that it bothers her does not make the story an exclusive. It's also deceptive of the Enquirer to market it this way.

It may be a new revelation that Nicole had a second miscarriage, though. The "insider" says she had the ectopic pregnancy right before she married Tom in 1990.

That's sad for Nicole, but it's ancient history. Nicole is supposedly worried if she can carry a baby now, but who knows if that's true. She may or may not be pregnant, and we'll just have to wait it out and see.

The Enquirer did have one redeeming feature in the deceptive article - an inset featuring Nicole's men throughout the years. Did you know she dated rapper Q-tip? I didn't.

Here is a picture of the article as well as some high res pictures of Nicole and Keith in the lobby of their hotel the day after their wedding. They are carrying a present for Keith's father, as it was his birthday. The happy couple is now honeymooning in Tahiti. [via]

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This week's National Enquirer has Jen and Vince "on the rocks" and fighting over the fake engagement ring Jen wore to the London premiere of "The Break Up." She had it on her left hand, and gushed about the ring's details to the press. Vince got pissed off and Jen put the ring on her right hand to appease him. Jen and Vince stayed away from each other all night, and a source says they were both in a bad mood and looked sad. We've heard this story before.

At the premiere after party, they sat separately and left separately. They even had different suites in their hotel. From her quotes, she doesn't sound happy about their relationship:

It sounds like she doesn't care if the cherry is there or not, and as if she's trying to justify their stormy relationship.

US Weekly claims to have "The Truth about Jen & Vince" and refutes the rumors that she's engaged and/or pregnant while making it seem like their relationship is fine. They use the one picture of them having dinner together in France and say that she's moving to Chicago as proof of their solid relationship. They quote a source saying "Both of them are so happy, They are an amazing couple."

We doubt that everything is fine, because neither of them seems happy or is willing to admit much about the other to the press. They've been together for two years. Isn't that long enough to go public with their relationship?

Here are pictures we took of the stories in question. Hopefully they're legible. There are also two pictures of Jen leaving "The Break Up" after party in London on 6/14. [via]

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Cameron Diaz didn't really slip a nip - she removed her top entirely, most likely with the full knowledge that the paparrazi were nearby to photograph it all. She is seen frolicking with Drew Barrymore on the beach at Harbour Island in the Bahamas. The National Enquirer has more photographs of Cameron and Drew and six of their girlfriends on the beach. Those pictures are probably from a different day, as Drew is wearing a black bathing suit, and she's seen with a blue top and striped bottoms in the nipple slip pictures. [via]

Are Cameron and Justin over? Sources say he's been dating Lauren Popeil, the daughter of head Ronco honcho and spray-on-hair inventor Ron Popeil. Cameron and Justin were photographed at the airport together leaving for London on June 25th, but they stood far apart. That may not mean much, because who is thrilled to be at the airport? (Although I would be a lot happier about it if I was getting on a private jet.)

Lainey's Gossip comments on the photos, after saying in an earlier post that they were really over, and that Cameron was getting to "clingy" for Justin:

Maybe Cameron gave Justin a little time off while she partied with a bunch of her friends in the Caribbean, and that was enough for him.

Airport pictures [via]

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Britney was set to do a pregnant semi-nude Harper's Bazaar spread just like Demi Moore, but she pulled it. Someone sent the airbrushed pictures to BritneySpy.com, and now they're all over. Why did Britney pull the pictures? She probably was advised against it by her "christian life coach," who is also said to be behind Britney and Kevin's recent reconciliation.

Now that I'm in the states I have the mixed blessing of being able to read the tabloids, and will report on Us Weekly's glowing coverage of Kevin and Britney's reunion shortly.

In the mean time, here are Britney's Harper's Bazaar photos. They're trashy, but that's just how she comes off anyway. Add a shag rug and pose her nude and you just magnify that quality. Also, Sean Preston is cute and all, but doesn't he have any other expression? He always seems to look the same. Maybe that's how he copes.

Thanks to Just Jared for these photos.

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Brad Pitt's reveals that he's an adoring father in an upcoming Newsweek interview. He also makes it clear that he and Angelina plan to adopt again:

He sounds a lot like Angelina, and he should credit her with his activism, but at least she was a good influence on him. He would be probably be bitching about the rabbits in his front yard if he was still with Aniston.

Here are pictures of Pitt's lovely modernist home from the July, 2006 issue of Elle Decoration courtesy of Just Jared. His interest in saving the world may be due to Angelina, but his love of architecture is entirely his own, and the man has excellent taste.

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In news that's not surprising to anyone, Star Jones Reynolds tells People magazine that her contract was not renewed for her tenth season on the annoying women's talkshow, "The View," and that she she "feels" like she was fired. If they didn't renew your contract, you were fired, Star.

She announced this morning on the show that she will be leaving at the end of the season. Oh boo hoo:

People promises to have more on the story, including Star dishing on Rosie O'Donnel's "hurtful" comments about her. O'Donnel said it was strange that Star would admit to breast lift surgery, but not own up to gastric bypass surgery that is largely rumored to have been the cause of her massive weight loss. She has also brought attention to the elephant in the room - Jones' husband Al, who always played for the other team before he hooked up with the then-huge talk show host.

Rosie O'Donnel was handpicked by Barbara Walters for a cohost gig in what was interpreted as a bid to force Jones out. Unfortunately, Jones is said to have "signed a lucrative deal with another television outlet." Who would be dumb enough to hire her?

Does anyone watch this piece of crap "The View" anymore? I have seen clips online that are so annoying I can barely sit through a couple of minutes, not to mention a whole hour. I asked my mother if anyone she knew watches it, and she knows of two people. Her 67 year-old friend who holidays in Boca watches it, but she has a high tolerance for talk shows. The other woman is over 80, also lives in Florida, and only has basic cable.

Here's a clip of Sandra Bernhardt and her nastiness vs. Star Jones and her nastiness. That little stupid conservative chick from Survivor tries to get in an ill-informed political argument with Bernhardt, and Star tries to cut to commercial. People said it was a "catfight," but it was more like an annoying argument.

Here's Star Jones and her husband, Al, at The Apollo Theatre 2006 Spring Gala on 6/19.

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You may have seen these pictures already, but they're just so cute we couldn't resist publishing them. Here are Gwen Stefan and her husband Gavin Rossdale out with their newborn, Kingston. Stefani and Kingston are seen watching Rossdale play tennis on 6/17 and out walking on 6/24.

Gwen Stefani is going to star in a remake of Tennessee Williams' "Baby Doll," which was originally released as a film in 1956:

Stefani seems like a good choice to play a vampy retro character, and it's sure to be a juicy role.

Here is the cute family on 6/17 and 6/24.

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People are saying that Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze are living apart and may be ready to divorce. Gellar is currently working on the film "The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing" while Prinze is starring in an ABC series, "Freddie." Prinze's TV work is said to be tearing the couple apart:

It's rather suspect that their publicist is saying they're coming over to her house at the weekend. That seems like an afterthought, and something she may have come up with while on the phone with the Daily News.

It's unknown whether they're actually having trouble, but Gellar is on baby watch since Cannes. We thought she looked pregnant at the film festival, as she was wearing ill-fitting gowns and held her hand over her stomach on the red carpet.

Reader Millie e-mailed me to say that she's still wearing loose tops on the set of her new film, and that she does look pregnant. Loose outfits are the style now, though, and it may not mean anything. Take a look at these pictures from "A Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing" and see for yourself. [via]

Prinze, 30, and Gellar, 29, have been married since 2002. We'll have to wait and see if their marriage is in trouble and/or if they're having a baby.

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X17 loves to point out Britney's foibles, and their latest blog post tries to rile everyone up with a picture of Britney in the back of her Escalade holding Sean Preston. We don't see the car taking off with Sean Preston in Britney's lap, but it's implied.

Britney probably does all sorts of things that put her baby in danger, and maybe she's only caught a fraction of the time. Now that she's got a bad record, though, people are blaming her for things she hasn't even done. What do you think?

Here's what x17 wrote:

Commentors are pretty annoyed that X17 doesn't bother to show Britney put Sean in his carseat, but did she do it? You can see the seat in the back.

Here are some more pictures from the series. You can see clearer unwatermarked versions in our image gallery from yesterday.

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Yahoo! has the official Snakes on a Plane trailer in Quicktime and Windows Media format.

Here's a slightly different version of the trailer that someone recorded in the movie theatre

"Snakes on a Plane" (warning: site has music) asks the question "What if you were trapped on a 747 full of deadly snakes?" and stars Samuel L. Jackson. It opens August 18th.

This movie looks awesome, and I've been completely influenced by all the buzz. Try to market something to me, and I won't listen, but get all the blogs to carry it and I'm sold. "Snakes on a Plane" has taken advantage of all the Internet hype, and even offers a "Snakes" theme for your MySpace.

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Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams were snapped at "Bubby's" restaurant in Tribeca last week. Ledger said he wanted some time off from filming to be a stay at home dad to eight month-old Matilda. It looks like he has been enjoying his role by not bothering to shave or bathe.

Ledger and Williams are scheduled to begin working on the weird "I'm Not There" Bob Dylan biopic this summer. The film will feature different actors and actresses playing the singer throughout his life. Cate Blanchett, Christian Bale, Julianne Moore and Richard Gere will join them in the film.

Reader Phyllis of HeathHeathens.com was not happy with our characterization of Ledger as a crybaby after his father revealed that he hightailed it out of Australia when the paparrazi squirted him with water on the red carpet. Ledger was composed at the time, but was said to have broken down and cried afterwards and asked his father to sell his Australian home. It turns out that Ledger was harassed by the paparrazi beyond what is allowable in the states, and that photographers delighted in tormenting him. People were camped out in his backyard and held a press conference on his front lawn. Phyllis says that Ledger probably never spat at the paparrazi as reported, and that he moved out of Australia after months of enduring constant monitoring. She says that "Heath is a very gentle and private person. He doesn't have an ego."

Heath always came off as aloof and cool to me, but maybe that's a defense mechanism. I finally saw "Brokeback Mountain" and have to say that he's a superb actor, and that it was one of the best films I've ever seen. Like Heath, I cried like a baby at the end.

Here are Heath and Michelle looking cute and cuddly at lunch. [via]

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- Diddy and Selma Blair are not a couple - Diddy was with Kim Porter and just ran into Selma on the beach. [I'm not Obsessed]
- John Mayer is a racist asshole [Mollygood]
- Rachel Bilson and her one pose [The Bastardly]
- Google News says its their policy not to include blogs in news searches [Cult News]
- Victoria Beckham lost 6 pounds she couldn't afford for the World Cup [Hollywood Rag]
- Keira Knightley in a see-through bikini [Hollywood Tuna]
- Kayne West left a bunch of porn behind at a photoshoot [yeeeah]
- Jessica Alba and Cash Warren must not be broken up after all [CityRag]
- Tom Cruise takes the bullet train in Tokyo to promote MI3 [Socialite's Life]
- Which Harry Potter characters will be worm meat? [DListed]
- Petra Nemcova gives James Blunt the best sex ever. Why is she even with that dork? [Egotastic]
- Gwen Stefani and baby Kingston in a rasta skull cap [PopSugar]
- Insert your own name in Jessica Simpson's first single - courtesy of some idiotic marketers. [Blog NYC]
- Why Busta Rhymes really hates gay people [Concrete Loop]
- Brittany Murphy is a botox and collagen nightmare. [The Chic Mommy]

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Britney is planning to sue 8 different tabloids for reporting that her marriage is in trouble, but she's not going to do it from the states, where celebrities are considered public personalities and are fair game by law - she's filed suit in Ireland, where her chances of winning are much higher:

It doesn't seem fair that celebrities can just file suit from England or Ireland in order to get around US libel laws, but major corporations avoid paying taxes by incorporating overseas. Exploiting tax and legal loopholes is just one of the ways that people hold onto their undeserved millions.

Here is Britney with Sean Preston and her mom and sister outside of Nobu. K-Fed was there, too, but is not pictured. There was supposedly a paparrazi fight as photographers jockied for pictures of the pregnant star. TMZ has a video of it, with people saying "back off" and swearing, but it doesn't seem as exciting as they make it out to be. We were hoping for some punches and hair-pulling.

Pictures and tabloid story [via]

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Jay-Z performed his whole first album, "Reasonable Doubt," at Radio City Music Hall last night to celebrate the tenth anniversary of its release. Other artists joining him on stage included Sauce Money, Foxy Brown and Memphis Bleek. The Roots' Amir Questlove, The Illadelphonics, and The Hustler's Symphony Orchestra made up his band.

Jay-Z's girlfriend, Beyonce, joined him for the last song, "Can't Knock The Hustle," which was originally a duet with Mary J. Blige.

Jay-Z announced his international tour, which will kick off this fall. He also hasn't ruled out another album after declaring his retirement in 2003:

Jay-Z does have a new album coming out. Starch blabbed that he's working with Jigga on a new release:

It looks like Jay-Z is recording an album after all. It also seems like he's still going strong with Beyonce despite the breakup rumors. They had a public fight at a basketball game as reported by Page Six and Beyonce was said to be jealous of Jay-Z's relationship with singer Rhianna. A story last week had the two breaking up due to hectic schedules and Jay-Z's inability to commit.

Pictures [via]

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Predictably enough, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's legal team have sent out notices to several blogs to pull the baby shower pictures that capture their clients in private moments. The digital card with the photos was stolen, they say. They never sent notice to us, but TMZ is a higher-profile site and was threatened with a lawsuit:

We'll take 'em down shortly, but as much as people like Angelina and Brad - they're too heavy handed with legal and security tactics. This is the cost of fame. If you don't like it, then don't try to fight it with all your might and just stop making movies. You could be gracious about it and play it up for what it's worth, but no, you have to fight every picture tooth and nail.

I understand not wanting someone to publish all 450 pictures, but making a huge fuss and threatening bloggers for publishing three of the pictures is ridiculous.

It's like the music industry acting all indignant that people are copying digital music. It's the nature of the medium, and that's how these things work. Digital files spread - get over it, and use it to your advantage.

Angelina decided to close down an entire country to give birth. What gives her that right? Namibia's National Society for Human Rights claims that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are acting like "Colonial Overlords" and that they have no right to use an entire government to shield themselves from the paparrazi. The NSHR said "To shut down a national border so she can give birth in peace is a massive abuse of power."

To shut down a bunch of websites so people can't see your cute baby shower pictures is also a massive abuse of power. It's not on the same scale, but they're abusive. Fans made them popular and fans pay for their luxurious lifestyle. Just because they do some charity work doesn't mean that they don't have to play the game.

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Selma Blair just announced that she's divorcing her husband of two years, Ahmet Zappa. Yesterday she was photographed at a beach in Malibu with P. Diddy, so it looks like she's moving on in style. She could do worse than to hook up with the hip-hop mogul. Hopefully she gets a Brazilian once a week, because Diddy doesn't like his ladies hairy.

Diddy is working on another reality show after the failure of his "Cooking with Celebrities" series. He will be coaching young women he's picked for an all-girl band in latest season of "Making the Band."

Here are the pictures of the two together. Thanks toI'm not obsessed for pointing this out. Pictures from Hollywood's Best.

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Pirates of the Caribbean 2 premiered at Disneyland in Anaheim, California on June 24th. The film draws inspiration from the ride of the same name at the Disney theme parks. Pissed off fans and press waited nearly 6 hours at Disneyland for a chance to see the stars, who were gone all too quickly:

That's annoying that people were made to wait so long. Disneyland didn't plan it correctly and should not have told people to show up so early.

"Pirates of the Caribbean 2" opens on July 7th.

Here are pictures from the premiere of Keira Knightley, Johnny Depp, and Orlando Bloom. I really like Keira's dress and think it's a good choice for the premiere of this semi-spooky film. Also shown are Christina Applegate, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Stacy Keibler, Daisy Fuentes and the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. [via]

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A lot of the crap that happens on movie sets would be a fireable, sueable offense in any office anywhere. Celebrities tell stories about their co-stars messing around and sexually harassing them during filming, and although they try to play it off, they're saying these things because they want people to know what they went through.

Case in point: Anne Hathaway. She was totally harassed by Stanley Tucci on the set of "The Devil Wears Prada." She says Tucci elbowed her in the chest repeatedly and she had to tell him to stop. The asshole didn't just do it once, he did it again and again and it was painful and probably embarassing to her:

What an asshole! I would kill the guy - after I sued him for sexual harassment. I'm serious, there's no way I would tolerate being treated like that by a coworker.

There shouldn't be different rules for performers and office workers - when you're on the job, you're not supposed to grab people. Tucci should know better.

Sure some of the sexual harassment guidelines are a bit strict, and some people like to talk smack, but sexual jokes and comments - if they're not directed at someone or threatening - are much different than elbowing someone in the chest and telling them they're "flinging their melons" around.

Stanley Tucci does not have a fabulous career, and he does not deserve one if this is how he treats women.

Another actor who probably deserves his career slump is Ben Affleck. Director Kevin Smith said Affleck engaged in the bizarre practice of sneaking up behind him while he was sitting and putting his balls on Smith's bare neck while they were working. Christina Applegate also said that Ben put his "junk" on a suitcase during filming for "Surviving Christmas." Maybe now that he's a father he'll keep his "junk" in his pants where it belongs.

Here is Hathaway outside Nobu restaurant on 6/12 with her boyfriend, real estate developer Raffaello Follieri. She is also seen in InStyle Magazine, and in one candid at "The Devil Wears Prada" after party on 6/19.

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Paris Hilton saw a bunch of paparrazi camped outside a boutique next to where she was shopping in Beverly Hills. She asked her friend to loudly call for her and tried to make a grand exit to get all the photographers to pay attention to her. Only one guy came over to get some pictures, and then quickly left. All the other paparrazi totally ignored the talentless diva:

There are so many pictures of Paris that they're worth a lot less than rare candids of Jennifer Lopez. We've been ignoring Paris Hilton too. (Except for Friday, when it was a slow news day.) The girl gets around and like Britney, she's cheap.

While Paris was in London for the 02 Wireless Festival she get miffed at the idea of getting her high heels muddy and asked for transportation around the event. A little buggy came to pick her up, and she got all pissy about how slow it was and tried to bribe the driver to make it go faster:

God forbid she should miss James Blunt performing. He doesn't sound the same in every song or anything.

Here she is with ridiculous fake eyelashes that look like they're going to scratch her cornea outside of Boujis nightclub in London last night. She changes her look a lot, and sometimes she's successful and looks decent. Most of the time she looks like a poor imitation of real celebrity, in this case Jessica Simpson.

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Everyone thought it was amazing how gorgeous a cleaned-up K-Fed looked when the pictures from his Item Magazine spread came out. He kind of looked like a used car salesman to me. (If you still think he's cute, just check out these pictures of him lounging around the pool with his gut hanging out during his PR vacation with Britney.)

K-Fed is the new face of the Blue Marlin Clothing Company's Five Star Vintage Clothing Line. Guess they don't mind having their brand associated with a guy whose only claim to fame is fathering lots of children and starring in the cringe-worthy "Chaotic".

Christina Aguilera has made another dig at Britney's husband, K-Fed, saying that her husband is reliable and "isn't trying to put out an album" or be in the spotlight:

Aguilera felt the need to bring everyone's attention to the fact that Britney was not at the MTV Music Awards this year. She said something about wanting to chat with her, but she was really highlighting how hot she still is, while Britney has let herself go and is focusing on her role as a neglectful mother. Aguilera called Britney's wedding to K-Fed two years ago "pathetic" at the time, and she was unfortunately right.

Some of these pictures of K-Fed's Item Magazine shoot you've seen before, but many are new. If K-Fed can clean up, maybe Britney can, too.

Pictures [via]

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The new Jessica Simpson song, "A Public Affair" is so strikingly similar to Madonna's "Holiday" that it's surprising it's not a remake. TMZ has both songs available for a comparison:

My husband thought it was "Holiday" when he heard the Jessica Simpson song, and it's amazing that someone thought they could get away with such a blatant rip off. I'm not blaming Jessica because she probably just does what people tell her to do.

Maybe Simpson's producers will pull the song or choose another to use as the first single off her new album.

She is in dire need of advice and has been letting her best friend and hairdresser Ken spend too much time on Eva Longoria's hair. The poor girl has major roots in these pictures at the launch of the Sidekick 3 on 6/20. She's also wearing an unflattering dress, and if she was still married someone (probably us) would be calling her pregnant.

Pictures [via]

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Britney released a clip of a new song on her website called "Rebellion." It looks like it was up briefly and was removed, because BreatheHeavy.com says it was the second update and was under her poem, but it's no longer available.

The lyrics reveal the fact that she's pissed off at the paparrazi and press and thinks that she can make a noun into a verb by repeating it a lot. On her site before the download link she wrote "This is for everyone who thinks they know me... I forgive you."

Download a 50 second clip of Rebellion (mp3)

It's got a wannabe hip-hop vibe and it's pretty good.

You're not selling your soul, Britney, just some crappy pictures that no one wants. It's also clear that you're pissed off at Kevin, because he's slowly poisoning you. We get it.

You think you're rebellion by dyeing your hair black, don't you?

Lyrics and Britney mp3 from BreatheHeavy.com.

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Britney Spears realized what a trashy loser people thought she was after her horrendous "Dateline" interview, in which she refused help from her publicists and didn't even have a hairdresser or makeup artist help her get ready. The pregnant singer chewed gum the whole time and bawled her eyes out when questioned about the parparrazi. She seemed arrogant and defensive and looked cheap in a super-short outfit.

Once Britney heard how poorly the interview was received she tried to do damage control by having professional portraits done. She shopped the pictures around to gossip mags at the sky-high price of $200,000. Britney called the gossip rags "trash" in her interview, and they showed her who was the trashy one by refusing to buy the pictures.

The only magazine willing to carry Britney's "classy" pictures and an interview was OK! Magazine - and they snatched them up at the bargain basement price of $5,000. When asked about the story and cheap photos, OK! said "Who doesn't love a discount?"

Britney, you're the discount. Get your ass in gear and get some media training.

Header photo from FadedYouth.

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Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban were married in a candlelit Catholic ceremony in Sydney on Sunday:

Either the rumors were untrue or Keith decided at the last minute not to perform at the reception, because it was said that he was planning to serenade Nicole.

It sounds lovely and quite romantic. Best wishes to Keith and Nicole.

Here are pictures from the wedding, including a high-res version of the official wedding photo and one high-res of Nicole in the car outside the wedding [via]. The other wedding photos are medium-sized. The other high-res photos are of Nicole on the day before the wedding outside her parents' house.

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Thanks to Millie for pointing out the other two pictures leaked from Angelina Jolie's baby shower. [via] People are saying that it's crappy of one of their friends to shop the pictures around, but that it's likely that they're stolen. One commentor on DListed notes that there's a rumor that one of Brad's bodyguards is behind it.

The photo of Angelina and Zahara on the beach is lovely, and it's nice to see Brad and Angelina laughing and looking like they're having a good time.

We'll have to wait and see where these photos turn up and who gets threatened with a lawsuit. It's sure to be big news come Monday.

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Celebirty Baby Blog had this picture that's supposedly from Angelina Jolie's baby shower showing the heavily pregnant actress wearing a feather boa and joking around with Brad:

Whoever has those 450 digital photos of the Jolie-Pitts could easily retire on the income from selling the pictures, but doesn't have a clue how to market them properly if they're e-mailing blogs about it. (No offense to the fabulous Celebrity Baby Blog.)

Stay tuned as more pictures are released. They're sure to spread like wildfire.

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Sorry I was such a slacker today. I'm doing my best, but am visiting family in the states, and they want me to hang out with them a lot. I try to look busy, but it doesn't really work.

- No wonder Keith Urban used to be a drug addict - he had a really bad mullet. [Socialite's Life]
- Why would Keith Urban hold Nicole Kidman's stomach if she's not pregnant? [MollyGood]
- No one cares that Marcia Cross is also getting married this weekend. [I'm not obsessed]
- Matt Damon to play Captain Kirk? [yeeeah]
- Matt Damon will also get a star on the Hollywood walk of Fame [PopSugar]
- Check out hairstyles for celebrities like Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan and easy-to-follow makeup guidelines at our new advertiser. [Beauty Riot]
- Claire Danes looks like Morticia Adams [Glitterati]
- Christina Aguilera says she never wanted to get married like most little girls [Gossipin]
- Random chicks from the 2006 World Cup [The Bastardly]
- Katie Holmes and Katherine McPhee: separated at birth [CityRag]
- Stephanie Adams sues BlogNYC for posting a true story about her; BlogNYC gets multiple offers for pro bono legal counsel. [BlogNYC]
- Paris Hilton learns her lesson about fur [Derek Hail]
- Paris Hilton says she's never danced on a table in her life, but that depends on your definition of table [Faded Youth]
- Sienna Miller wears a cut-out bathing suit with a tiny skirt to lunch [Dlisted]

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Paris Hilton has been spotted out in wigs in a lame attempt to go incognito several times. This latest look isn't surprising, except she's at a public event so she shouldn't have bothered. She was at the O2 wireless festival with her friend Caroline D'Amore.

Paris' ten-minute affair with French Canadian hockey goalie Jose Theodore during the Much Music festival has led his baby's momma to dump him. Paris was seen holding hands with Theodore and now his life is fucked up beyond repair:

Good for Stephanie! If only all of the women sleeping with Paris' exes would dump them, we could reduce the spread of herpes throughout the population of hot but dumb 20-somethings.

Paris' new single "Stars are Blind" is out, and while it's catchy people are wondering if she can actually sing. It's being called the "musical equivalent of airbrushing."

Paris is shown yesterday at the O2 wireless festival and on 6/20 at the launch of the T-Mobile sidekick. She's wearing a white glove so she mustn't want her hands to touch any sidekicks infested with other celebrity germs. The dress isn't so bad, but check out her ridiculous yellow shoes with the giant bows and her nautical-theme earrings!

Pictures [via]

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Justin Timberlake might be getting friendly with Lauren Popeil, the daughter of famous Ronco informercial king Ron Popeil. A source tells Perez Hilton that they're good "friends" and went out together to a club in Hollywood last week:

The only information I could find on Lauren was on the website for the household goods business she helps run with her mother, popeilfamilystore.com. She is 23, as a 1997 article about Ron lists her age at the time as 14. She was friends with Paris Hilton at some point, because her name was listed on Paris' phone when it was hacked. She doesn't get around - or get photographed - too much, though. The latest pictures of Lauren on Wireimage are from a SuperBowl after party in 2003.

While there is no official response from either Justin or Cameron's camp to the breakup rumors, People cites a source that states that they're still going strong:

Maybe the source is one of Cameron's friends and she's in denial or doesn't know yet. We don't think everything's fine between them, especially in light of this video of Justin on TMZ. A blonde is seen getting into his car, and it's not Cameron.

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Angelina Jolie posed for a series of portraits chronicalling her pregnancy. She had the artist, Don Bachardy, flown into Namibia and had him sworn to secrecy about the project:

Artist Dan Bachardy is a 72 year-old gay man, and has had his work shown at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the National Portrait Gallery in London, and the Smithsonian art museum.

His portraits are stylized views of the subjects and can be revealing but aren't realistic enough to embarass. Bachardy uses heavy strokes, shading and light to make peop look slightly cartoonish. Angelina's pictures are sure to be tasteful and probably don't give away much more of her naked body than we've already seen.

Meanwhile Angelina has brought Shiloh to visit her ailing mother, French actress Marcheline Bertrand, in LA. Bertrand has been under care for cancer, and was not well enough to fly to Namibia to see her grandchild after the birth. (thanks xiaoecho!)

A paparrazo was arrested outside of four year old Maddox's daycare yesterday. The guy was hiding in the bushes trying to get pictures of the tot when a member of Jolie-Pitt's agressive security force nabbed him. He was then arrested and released on $1,000 bail.

Here are some random older Angelina Jolie photoshoots for your viewing pleasure. Thanks to babyface at Hollywood's Best.

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Nicole Kidman had Keith Urban sign a prenup in preparation for their wedding this weekend that gives him a relatively paltry portion of Kidman's fortune. Kidman is said to be worth $150 million dollars, but she'll only surrender $600k a year to her groom-to-be if they get divorced. If he drinks a lot or does drugs, he gets nothing:

The most interesting part of this article is the mention of Zellweger and Chesney's on-again relationship. If this is true, I would like to see pictures. Zellweger manages to avoid the paparrazi, and she was rumored to be seeing Chesney briefly after their high profile divorce. She deserves someone who will pay more attention to her, though, and if the rumors about Chesney are true it's possible they're just friends.

Kidman has taken smart precautionary measures for her wedding to an ex-drug addict, although it might actually last and we hope things work out for them.

Although Kidman's "hen party" wasn't too exciting, Naomi Watts was in town to party with her prior to the wedding, and it looks like they had a little bit to drink. Here are pictures of Watts and Kidman out on the town last night in Sydney. [via] In the last picture Kidman is shown being driven from her Sydney home this morning.

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The trainwreck that is Britney Spears just hit another small child left wandering on the tracks by its bad mother. She went on national primetime television without consulting her publicist, got rid of Perry, the one good thing that's happened to her since she busted a knee and hooked up with K-Fed, and dyed her trademark blonde hair black.

No one was with Britney when she made her typically ignorant and arrogant comments to Matt Lauer on "Dateline." She brushed off her publicists, and didn't have a stylist or makeup artist help her get ready. It was all too evident:

Britney probably popped into the local CVS to make her own decision to dye her hair this jet black color. Everyone thought it was a poor wig disguise at first, but now it's clear that this is Britney's own hair. (plus extensions.)

The poor girl must have thought she was trying to escape from the paparrazi "Fugitive" style, but she just managed to make herself a more interesting target.

Readers noted after seeing the pictures of Britney and Sean Preston riding around in a golf cart last week that the tot looked sunburned. Yesterday's photographs show his red little face and head. Britney would say "stuff happens with kids," but it doesn't usually happen if you take a little time for precautions. Britney may make her own decisions, but they affect her child and she needs a lot of help.

Update: Britney is said to have turned down a $3.6 million deal to be the new face of Kleenex in a bid for the tissue company to cash in on her tearful down and out image. The source is some British rag, though, and it sounds like something that is completely fabricated.

Pictures [via]

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- That's no wig, that's Britney's new hair! [Bricks and Stones]
- Victoria Beckham's chicken legs don't look so bad [The Bastardly]
- Possible reasons why Suri is still MIA [Derek Hail]
- David Spade is well endowed [DListed]
- Ryan Seacrest wants to climb Vince Vaughn's hump island [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- Britney's Interview with OK! Magazine [Faded Youth]
- Richard Ashcroft just wants to help the children - when he's really drunk [PopFiilth]
- Is Nicky Hilton pregnant?! [MollyGood]
- Will Anderson Cooper out himself on tonight's Daily Show? [Blog NYC]
- Creepy Dad Joe Simpson gossip trading card [Gallery of the Absurd]
- Scott Stapp says there is no sex on the Kid Rock sex tape [Glitterati]
- Sienna Miller wears a sequined vest to lunch [Socialite's Life]
- Kevin Federline meets the naked cowgirl [yeeeah]
- Tom Cruise on Tokyo insanity tour [Wizbang Pop]
- Reese Witherspoon sues Star Magazine That's not a baby, it's just pooch! [Tabloid Whore]

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Earlier in the week it was reported that Kevin wanted Britney to fire her gorgeous helpful bodyguard/manny, 28 year-old naval academy graduate, Perry Taylor. Britney may have followed his advice, because she was photographed out without Perry in a NY Mall yesterday.

Kevin would tell Britney to get rid of a guy that's ten times more helpful than he is. He wants to control her and make sure she doesn't leave his sorry ass. It looks like Perry's fifteen minutes of fame, and his steady job, are over. Maybe if he did it half-assed like Kevin, Britney's husband wouldn't feel threatened by him and wouldn't have asked her to fire him.

Britney and Kevin were said to have vacationed together at a resort in Miami this weekend, but the reality is that they avoided each other and stayed in separate houses at their resort.

Kevin has new gigs this week as the face of Blue Marlin clothing company and campaigning for a new Virgin Mobile charity "penny" drive. It's really a publicity stunt for Virgin's one-cent text messaging offer. Now that he's getting his own "work" maybe he'll get cocky enough about it to finally set Britney free.

Here are pictures of Kevin Federline at a Miami resort on 6/18, and 6/19. There are also pictures of Kevin signing the petition to keep the penny in circulation, and Britney shopping at a NY Mall on 6/21. Britney and Kevin are shown on the balcony at their Miami resort. Pictures [via] [via] [via]

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Nicole Kidman's children, Conner and Isabella, have arrived in Australia for their mom's wedding to Keith Urban. The wedding details are a well-guarded secret, but sources say that it will take place this Sunday, June 25th:

Tom Cruise didn't travel to Australia with his children, but he supposedly sent Kidman a blurry far-off picture of a baby that is supposed to be Suri as a present for her birthday. The botoxed beauty turned 39 on Sunday, and received the photo from her ex with the handwritten caption "A very nappy birthday to you."

That doesn't sound true to us and the source is not that solid. If it is true, it lends some slight credibility to the rumor that Kidman is pregnant with her first biological child. She was seen with a tummy hanging out of her sweatpants during a recent yoga class, and seems to have some sort of a bump in these recent pictures.

Kidman is shown at the Shanghai International Film Festival and an Omega watches promotional event in China on June 17th. [via]

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Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz were rumored to be engaged last week. We spotted a ring on Cameron's finger when she was out at a Laker's game with Justin in early April, and we believed the rumors. It seems like the engagement stories might be overblown because Justin is said to have ended his three-year relationship with Cameron, just in time for his new tour:

At the end of March The NY Daily News ran a story saying that Justin was a commitment-phobe and was unwilling to marry Cameron, who is ready to settle down and raise a family. We'll have to wait and see if this latest news is true. Although Diaz seems like a major bitch and we don't like her, she deserve happiness like anyone else and it's too bad for her. Maybe she'll find a guy a little older who is ready for children.

Here are Justin and Cameron at the Laker's Game in early April. Justin is also shown outside of LA Clubs on June 10th and June 13th. [via]

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Victoria Silvstedt's new boyfriend is a little troll. He has buck teeth and a belly and is about a foot shorter than her. He must be richer than sin to land 1997's Playmate of the Year. From the looks of these pictures of him giving her oral off a dock in Sardinia, [via] he knows what he's doing in that department because she's clearly pleased.

Sky News published a story about these pictures on June 14th, called "Who are little 'n large?" but it has been removed from their site.

Swedish model Silvstedt is 31.

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Kate Bosworth and new super-hottie Brandon Routh attended the premiere of "Superman Returns" last night in LA. Kate was dashing in a floor length white gown, but her ears looked elvish and she should have worn her hair down.

"Superman Returns" opens this weekend and is sure to be a hit with critics and crowds. It has an astonishing 96% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with critics saying that it's "superb," "triumphant," and a lot of fun.

Here is an interview with Bosworth about her character, Lois Lane, in "Superman Returns." The narration voice-over is really loud, so be careful if you're watching at work.

Bosworth did all her own flying stunts with a harness in the film.

Bosworth is seen posing with her costar Brandon Routh, and with her flirty boyfriend, Orlando Bloom. People were saying that Bloom and Bosworth may have ended their tumultuous relationship after Bloom was caught nuzzling Claire Danes and having lunch with Sienna Miller.

Here are pictures from the premiere [via] and the film.

Update: Some images removed on request.

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David Spade may be set to pop the question to bitchy hottie Heather Locklear. The mismatched couple has tried to lay low during Locklear's high profile divorce from Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora. Sambora is putting the blocks to publicity hound Denise Richards, who lived right next door to Locklear and Sambora and encouraged Locklear to divorce him.

Spade and Locklear were said to have broken up back in mid-May after a romance that hit the tabs in April that no one believed anyway. When these pictures of Space and Locklear at the beach [via] came out at the beginning of the month it seemed like the unbelievable could be true.

Locklear isn't likely to accept Spade's proposal if this is true. While Spade has defended her, saying she's still "nursing the knife wounds in her back" from her failed friendship with Denise Richards, he doesn't seem like a good match for Locklear. He's a short comic with no sex appeal, and she's well - Heather Locklear. She surprised her husband with divorce papers and she doesn't seem ready to settle down again in a rebound relationship.

Here are Spade and Locklear at the beach and Locklear getting into her car on 4/13. [via]

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Pete Doherty got up to all sorts of his usual trouble this week. When he flew into Sweden last weekend for some scheduled performances with his band, Babyshambles, he was so out of it he had to use a wheelchair to reach customs. The Swedish authorities were reluctant to retain him, but after he got out of the wheelchair and rolled around on the floor they were forced to do something and decided to search his luggage.

Due to Pete's delay at the border, his band Babyshambles went on an hour late for their performance at the Hultsfred Festival in southern Sweden. The police there were suspicious of Pete's drunken behavior and decided to test his blood for drugs. They found traces of cocaine and a mild tranquilizer, benzodiazepine, which Doherty says he has a prescription for. He was fined $1,900 and released.

At least he seems to be off heroin for a few hours. He was in a rehab clinic in Portugal at the beginning of the month, and his lawyer said treatment was "going well." In Pete's case that means he didn't bust up the place yet.

Doherty later got kicked out of the Debaser club in Stokholm in the middle of a "messy" and drunken performance. A girl was said to be freaking out after she stepped on some broken glass. Doherty was trying to handle the situation by "lashing out at people" and got booted from the club.

Doherty also plans to record a solo album this summer. We bet it has more do with the fact that his bandmates are fed up with him than trying to establish himself as a solo artist.

Doherty's frequent clashes with authorities may fuel his creative endeavors. He just announced that he's publishing his diaires that span back years:

Even if it's total crap and as random and unreadable as Macaulay Culkin's "book," you know people will buy it.

Meanwhile Doherty's ex, Kate Moss, has wisely decided not to publish her memoirs. She was paid a £1million advance by Virgin books to write an autobiography about her cocaine abuse. She decided against it, and is wisely keeping that part of her past private. Moss was embroiled in a scandal in September of last year after a videotape was released of her snorting lines backstage at a Babyshambles concert. She was dropped from modeling campaigns with Chanel and Burberry at the time, but has since landed new lucrative contracts as the face of Nikon and Calvin Klein.

Here is Kate Moss outside a London Hotel earlier this week. [via] Doherty is shown at the Rock am Ring festival on 6/2.

Update: Pete Doherty images removed upon request.

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Sky.co.uk had a huge image gallery of celebrities wearing the same dress to different events.

A notable exception to this was Gayle King and Alfre Woodard who wore the same floaty orange Pamella Roland dress to the 2006 Tony Awards. They both played it off like it wasn't a big deal and happily posed for photographs together.

Speaking of dress disasters, Star Magazine thought it was a huge scandal that Julia Roberts wore the same dress twice in seven years. She was seen in the hot red Vivienne Tam number when attending the "Notting Hill" premiere in 1999. She wore the dress again to the closing night of her Broadway show "Three Days of Rain" this year. We applaud Roberts for recycling the dress, and think that if it's still in fashion, seven years is plenty of time to wait to wear it again. It must be a slow news week if Star is acting like it's a huge faux pas on Roberts' part.

To access pictures of celebrities wearing the same dress, choose any of the thumbnails below, or visit the "Same Dress" Gallery Index page.
Dates and designers are listed where known.

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SocialRank claims to have an exclusive that Jay-Z and Beyonce are calling off their relationship due to too much time apart and too many conflicts. There was a rumor last month that they were getting married after Jay-Z lost weight on a diet supervised by Beyonce, but that was influenced by Beyonce's own success in the dieting department and didn't seem like a strong enough indication that they were preparing for a wedding:

It sounds like they're both too busy to spend time together, and that Jay-Z is too focused on sports and partying to settle down. That is really common and I have dated guys like that. As much as you love them, you have to move on to someone who has the same goals in life and is ready for a long term commitment.

Beyonce was said to be jealous of Jay-Z's very close working relationship with hot singer Rhianna, but it doesn't seem like Jay-Z and Rhianna were having more than a flirtatious friendship.

There is only a single source for this news now, so until it's confirmed and reported all over we aren't sure it's true. Even if it's spot-on, it will probably be a while before the breakup is acknowledged.

Here are Beyonce and Jay-Z taking care not to be photographed together as they leave a NY hotel on 6/12, and some candids of Beyonce in NY alone on 6/15. [via]

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Heidi Klum is said to be pregnant with her third child. While US Weekly claims a "source" says "she's just starting to show," Star says that she's only 6 weeks along, so US' source is most likely some guy in a cube zooming in on pictures of Klum's tummy.

That's good news for Heidi and Seal, although it's sure to be frustrating to them that the news got out so soon. Before you point out that it's hypocritical to criticize Angelina for adopting again, while congratulating Heidi for getting pregnant - Heidi's youngest is ten months old and her newborn won't arrive for another eight and a half months. That's much different than having two newborn twins along with a three month old as Angelina is said to be planning.

Here are various older pictures of Heidi Klum and her husband, Seal. She is shown pregnant with her last child and none are very recent. They're cute so I thought I would post them. Thanks to MaD at Hollywoods' Best for a massive Hedi picture post.

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We are supposed to be on vacation, but it's much more work than our average day of blogging, going swimming with our son, and riding our bike to town to get a croissant. So our normal life is relaxing and calm like a vacation while our trip to the states is turning into constant travelling, shopping, and seeing all the friends I wish would visit us in Switzerland. It's a good thing that everything is all backwards now, but the blog is suffering during our travels. Sorry for that. Thanks for bearing with us until we're settled on Thursday when we'll continue working tirelessly for your gossip fix.

Meanwhile, what is wrong with Angelina Jolie? The woman went through a phase of being addicted to tattoos and morbid thoughts, then significantly improved herself by getting caught up in trying to save the world. Now she's moved on to adopting international babies, and seems to be feeling so much guilt over having a biological child that she's said to have started the process of adopting twins:

I know a guy who is one of eight kids, and there are plenty of families that grow quickly. It's just not as common in this era and it seems over the top for Angelina to want two more right away. Angelina needs to slow down and focus on the family she has now. Three kids are plenty, and Shiloh is barely a month old. She must be unfulfilled or have other problems that are causing her to obsess like this.

This isn't just a rumor because Angelina told Anderson Cooper in a CNN Interview for International Refugee Day that she plans to adopt again and that she's looking for a baby that fits in well "racially" with her other kids.

As you can imagine, this comment sparked a lot of controversy on the board where we found this news. While some people understand, many are outraged that Angelina seems to be treating babies as accessories and say that all the nannies and maids in the world can't make up for the attention that children need from their parents.

I haven't seen the full Anderson Cooper interview with Angelina yet, but judging from the preview clips and her long drawn-out interview during the Namibian press conference she seems seriously imbalanced to me. I used to think she was this intelligent woman who turned her life around and was focusing on things that mattered. Now I think she's just fully absorbed in something without taking time to think it out and make sure her life is in balance.

You can see previews from Angelina's interview through the CNN website. Once the interview is available on YouTube, we'll post it here.

Here are screencaps of Angelina's expressions during the interview (Many more at ONTD) and some posed pictures. [via]

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Nicole Richie, Mischa Barton and her on and off-boyfriend, Cisco Adler, hit the beach this weekend. Richie is shown letting Mischa's little dog, Ziggy, lick her on the lips.

Whitestarr frontman Cisco insists everything between him and Barton is fine, and that stories of their breakup are not true. He says Mischa is busy working and that's why they weren't photographed together in a while.

Nicole Richie's dad has supposedly promised her a luxury Caribbean cruise with friends if she gains weight. Lionel Richie so worried about his daughter's health that he thought up the vacation as an incentive. Given all of luxuries Nicole enjoys on a daily basis, this doesn't seem like it will be an effective strategy. It's kind of Richie to be concerned about his daughter, though.

Pictures [via]

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Suri Cruise was born three months ago and there's not even a single picture of the tot covered up. She must have a vitamin D deficiency because considering all the paparrazi that follow Cruise and Holmes around she surely hasn't seen the light of day.

Ted Casablanca of E! Online is saying that Tom and Katie are never going to get married and that the wedding plans are indefinitely on hold.

Defamer has a report from an eyewitness that observed a small baby-like bundle from afar that could have been Suri:

This is the first "eyewitness" report we've had on this baby, and it's less than credible. We will sort of believe that the baby exits when we see it, but too much time has passed and we're going to buy into one of the "conspiracy" theories soon. (It's not a conspiracy if it's true!)

Scientology has brainwashed Tom into thinking any kind of publicity for himself is good, but that his little baby, who would soften public opinion of him if she actually exists and is photographed, should be shielded from public view. They're trying to keep him down and it's working.

Here is Tom at a photocall in Tokyo for Mission Impossible III. Director JJ Abrams, Maggie Q, Tom Cruise, Keri Russell and producer Paula Wagner are also shown.

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Unlikely Oscar winner Mira Sorvino, 38, posed for photographs with her much younger surfer-boy husband Chris Backus, 24, and their second child, 3 and a half week-old newborn, Johnny Christopher King Backus. The couple also has a one and a half year-old girl, Mattea Angel.

Just like Rachel Weisz, Sorvino looks to be a dedicated mother to her newborn and has not had her hair done for this photoshoot. We're just saying.

Everyone is so cute together and they look like a happy little family. We wish their little girl would have posed for pictures too.

Update: Images removed upon request.

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We are back in America after almost a year away, and we have to say that you people are totally spoiled! We miss 24 hour grocery stores, shopping on Sundays, and driving around like maniacs. Switzerland is much more relaxing, clean, and safe, but it's totally boring compared to America, and there are hardly any trashy TV shows. There's a lot of stress here, though, I forgot about that, and you must need a break from it all. I will do my best to make your celebrity vacation as gossip-filled and snarky as possible. Thanks to everyone who commented here and added us as friends on MySpace during our brief vacation.

So here's Connie Chung totally wasted and singing on a piano.

She was saying goodbye to the show you've never heard of that she hosted weekday mornings on MSNBC with her creepy ex-husband, Maury Povich:

Chung says the act was a "gag" and that she "should have had a drink before I went on." She meant to say "I should have had another drink before I went on, maybe I would have blacked out and forgot about it."

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Wireimage has these beautiful pictures of Rachel Weisz, Darren Aronofsky and their two-week old mystery baby. Oscar winner Weisz, 35, is engaged to director Aronofsky, whose work includes "Requiem for a Dream." Wireimage didn't even list the baby's name in the captions for these pictures, simply calling him the couple's son, but Rachel-Weisz.net says he's called "Henry Chance," which is quite normal for a celebrity baby.

Weisz must be a dedicated mommy because she didn't even take time out to wash her hair for this photoshoot.

Update: Images removed upon request.

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The vacation is still on, but we're back posting sooner than expected because it's just not work to us to talk trash about celebrities.

In Britney's Dateline Interview she comes off defensive, rude, and dumb. She's even chewing gum, just like when she was announcing her pregnancy on Letterman! At one point she breaks down and cries when Lauer asks her "what do you think it will take to get the paparrazi to leave you alone?" While I feel sorry for her and don't blame her for crying, she didn't handle the first part of the questioning well at all.

She says of the incident where Child Protective Services visited her for Sean Perston's high chair fall that "they didn't have to come, the doctor there made them come because I didn't bring my doctor there with me." The doctor there made them come because her child was injured and they're required by law to contact Children and Family Services. That's idiotic to suggest the reason was because she didn't bring another doctor. She seems not to understand that is how CPS works.

When asked by Lauer if she tripped on her pants during the near baby-drop fiasco, she says, "I think, uh, actually, I didn't trip on anything, there was, a NY street, it was cobblestone... I think it was mixture of so many paparrazi and just how the road was all messed up, me just trying to get in the car." The road was perfecly flat and paved and not cobblestone at all. I live in Europe where there are real cobblestone streets and people manage to walk around holding all sorts of shit without stumbling and falling.

No fucking mention of the highball glass she was carrying at the time, and no admission of even partial guilt or regret for the incident. She blows it off, saying "accidents happen" and using the ridiculous example of her brother's multiple motorcycle accident at age 13 as a comparison. "Stuff happens with kids," she explains. Britney, you fucking idiot, you have total responsibility for your baby's safety and he's not the same as an adolescent boy.

She says she was crying afterwards because people were trying to take her picture, not because she almost hurt Sean. She also cals a woman ignorant for trying to take her picture at the time. "Ignorant" is not an adjective Britney should introduce into a conversation.

"There will be plenty more oopses, I'm human." Yes you are, and you're richer than 99.99% of the world. You can fucking hire someone to help you talk to the press and act like you actually take responsibility for your actions and care about your infant son.

"You have to realize that we're people, and we need privacy, and we need respect. Those are just things that you have to have as a human." This is your job, Britney, figure it out. The paparrazi are terrible and all but you need to find a better way to cope.

She does seem to love Sean even though she won't admit to any guilt or responsibility for his frequent safety mishaps.

Later in the interview she's in her element when talking about her music and her work, and she explains her brief involvement with the Kabbalah cult well. She has a new clothing line for children coming out, called "Baby Soul Rock and Roll," and she seems quite excited and happy about it.

While things seem to be looking up for her, she needs professional media coaching and she should never have done this interview.

Here is the relevant part of the interview:

This is part four in the series. Here are the earlier parts of Britney's interview:

Britney's Dateline Interview Part 1 of 4
Britney's Dateline Interview Part 2 of 4
Britney's Dateline Interview Part 3 of 4
Britney's Dateline Interview Part 4 of 4 (shown above)

And here she is with a drink in one hand and Sean Preston on her lap on a golf cart in Hollywood on June 8th:
[via]

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Celebitchy is travelling and going on vacation. This means we will be gone from Friday until either Tuesday or Wednesday depending on when we can get Internet access. Wednesday is probably a safer bet. For those of you that think we're slackers - you're right.

Have a great weekend and we'll bring you all the latest gossip mid-week next week. Here's what's going on today:

- Are Brad and Angelina going to adopt another baby NOW? That's crazy talk! (Faded Youth)
- Mandy Moore and Zach Braff are no more. They kept a low profile though, so who cares really. There aren't any pictures. (Daily Dish)
- Nicole Kidman looks pregnant (Socialite's Life)
- George Bush asks a blind guy to remove his sunglasses, but he should know the guy - he's been in his press corps for years (DListed)
- Having failed to convince Britney of the merits of Kabbalah, Madonna moves on to Lohan (MollyGood)
- Are Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn engaged? (PopSugar)
- Madonna's "Get Together" video (popbytes)
- Kate Bosworth walks her dog (The Bastardly)
- All of Stephanie Adams' "fans" that commented on BlogNYC - they were from the same IP address, uh Adams' computer (BlogNYC)
- Oprah crashes a wedding, royally pisses off a family in Oklahoma (Glitterati)

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Kate Moss was videotaped doing lines backstage at a Babyshambles concert last September. She was promptly dumped from her modeling contracts with Chanel and Burberry and went to rehab. She got new modeling contracts with Nikon, Calvin Klein, and came back with a vengeance.

She fled England after the scandal broke and was said to be wanted for police questioning, which she avoided for a while. In January she finally spoke to the police, but took the good advice of her lawyers and did not admit to any wrongdoing.

She was expected to be cleared on all charges, and an official announcement was made today. Cops said they couldn't tell whether Moss was doing amphetamines, cocaine, or ecstasy in the video and since those substances fall under different drug severity classes they can't charge her with anything and she gets off on a technicality:

It's not like Kate would be in too much trouble if she actually was prosecuted for using a controlled substance. It seems like Pete Doherty is in court every other week on drugs charges and he hasn't faced great consequences other than being ordered to rehab.

Here's the shaky video of Kate doing cocaine in case you missed it: (Commentary is in Italian)

And here is Moss at the Isle of Wight music festival recently. It looks like Courtney Love is behind her in one of the shots. [via]

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Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton should start their own phony foundation, because they've both been caught pledging money to charity and not paying up.

Jackson recorded a song called "What more can I give?" which was supposed to benefit the families of 9/11 victims. The answer to the song title is "not much," because he never released that song or another "charity" tune he claimed would aid Katrina victims. He planned to give CD sales profits to charity, but wanted to retain full copyright and legal rights to the songs, which would have made him a fortune in residuals.

These details came out in a lawsuit against Jackson by a business associate who claims Jackson owes him more than $3 million for loans and fees related to producing television shows on his behalf. Jackson says the guy who is suing him has a quarter million dollars worth of his sculptures and art, but if his claims are true would you blame him for snagging some of Jackson's paintings in exchange for not getting paid?

Two years ago Paris Hilton pledged to organize a concert to benefit an Australian charity for sick children. She never followed through or gave a donation. She ignored the charity's attempts to contact her, and managed to screw them out of even more money by falsely stating that she was helping them, causing people to think they had a donation windfall, and significantly decreasing their contributions:

Sounds like Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton only want to get rich and hoard it by buying loads of worthless shit for themselves. Who would have guessed that about them?

There are always a shitload of pictures of Paris, which is why I snuck her worthless ass into this story about Michael Jackson. I threw most of the new pictures of her into a post yesterday about her fight with Lindsay Lohan, but here's her near nipple-slip outside the Regis and Kelly show again in case you missed it.

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The hip-hop community has given Cristal champage tons of free publicity by consuming it by the case, mentioning it in songs, and opening their fridges on the MTV show "Cribs" to show chilled bottles. As a result, Cristal has become a household name:

The managing director of Cristal, Frederic Rouzaud, expressed misgivings about rappers endorsement of his brand in a new article in The Economist, stating that he views the attention with "curiosity and serenity." Nevermind the fact that hip hop stars are his biggest customers. He's afraid they could damage the brand's precious blue blood image, and said that rappers can go drink another kind of champagne:

Powerful rap mogul Jay-Z has called Rouzaud on his snotty racist remarks and is refusing to drink Cristal or sell it at his 40/40 sports bar.

The head of Cristal is such an asshole and if he doesn't issue a retraction soon we hope the hip hop community will call an all out boycott on the drink. He's new so maybe the board of directors or the company will fire him for making such a stupid comment. We hope Diddy will speak out next. If those idiots at Cristal don't want all the business and free publicity then they can go back to selling the shit to country clubs and estate parties and see how their exclusive attitude makes sales tank.

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A satirical site called Postcards from the Pug Bus carried a pretty funny and mildly convincing article that proported that Britney told Matt Lauer in her upcoming interview that she's going to give birth in Namibia just like Angelina. Postcards from the Pug Bus is like The Onion and makes up funny shit that kind of sounds true.

The article was picked up and run as a real story by China Daily, Playfuls, and even Toronto's Fashion Monitor! It was then covered in I'm not Obsessed, The Dark Hat, and Best Week Ever Blog. I'm not Obsessed ran it with the title "This cannot be true," and Best Week Ever could have known it was fake since they've run other stories from Pug Bus. (Thanks to WeSmirch for making this "research" extra easy.)

Britney would make a dumb-ass decision like that, and with yesterday's news that she changed her baby on the floor of a Victoria's Secret, it's easy to believe.

The first half of the Pug Bus article contains real details about the interview that are already known. The quotes that follow about Namibia give away the fact that this is made up:

The China Daily and Playfuls articles contained all these improbable quotes, but the Fashion Monitor runs it without any quotes, making it seem like pure delicious fact.

There's a new video of pregnant Britney at the beach that you can access at BreatheHeavy.com, where we also snagged the header image.

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- 14 at Gallery of the Absurd is sick of celebrity babies and designs some suitable overpriced accessories for them. (Gallery of the Absurd)
- Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt wears a $42 T-Shirt, T-Shirt promptly sells out (IDLYITW)
- The Bastardly girls of the World Cup 2006 (The Bastardly)
- Jessica Biel is a man, baby! (PopSugar)
- Pictures of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo's Mexican tryst (WWTDD)
- Anne Coulter and George Carlin on Leno tonight. You know the old guy's gonna win that argument, because he uses real facts. (Glitterati)
- Orange Lindsay Lohan's black nail polish is all chipped. Nasty. (CityRag)
- Pete Doherty said that Jesus visited him in a dream and inspired him to go to rehab (Socialite's Life)
- People Magazine's hottest bachelors are anything but (DListed)
- Desperate Housewives is based on "Little Women"? WTF? (yeeeah)
- So that guy kissing Lindsay Lohan in the pics we published earlier is fashion designer Francisco Costa. If you were wondering. (I'm not obsessed)
- Heather Mills gets a pedicure - and gets the toes on her prosthetic leg done too. (MollyGood)
- Jennifer Love Hewitt is not going to get naked. (Egotastic)
- Anna Nicole Smith's baby bump (popbytes)
- Handpicked reporters on Bush's Baghdad trip were asked not to tell their spouses where they were going. (BlogNYC)
- Beyonce in Spin Magazine (Concrete Loop)
- Marc Jacobs and his prostitute branded boyfriend have split (Faded Youth)
- Is Jennifer Aniston engaged? (Just Jared)
- Is Ashanti pregnant? (Crunk and Disorderly)
- Eminem to play a bounty hunter in western remake (Gabsmash)
- Darryl Hannah In A Tree, A-R-R-E-S-T-E-D (Wizbang Pop)

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Renee Zellweger has reportedly told Nicole Kidman that all country stars who like to make money are terrible husbands, or something like that:

What about Keith being an alcoholic, not just a workaholic, and an ex-drug addict and philanderer?

The source is some random British magazine, and most of the British rags make shit up wholesale, so we don't really believe this. It sounds like something a gossip writer would come up with.

Meanwhile some priest who claims to have advised Kidman and Urban on their wedding is said to be revealing private details about it.

Someone made that priest up, because no clergy member would give their real name and reveal details like that to the press. Maybe we're grumpy today, but people want to get news about the Urban-Kidman wedding and are just pulling this out of their asses.

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The president of Namibia has supposedly written a personal letter of gratitude to Angelina Jolie to thank her for doing more for the African nation by choosing to pop out her baby there than his tourism budget for the next century:

If it's true that Namibia is going to declare Shiloh's birthday a national holiday that just seems like overkill after this over-the-top letter. Angelina is a "founding mother" of Namibia indeed. Do you think someone made this shit up? It sounds too good to be true. Of course Namibia is grateful but this letter is too much.

In related fake news, Star is saying that chain-smoking Aniston plans to confront Angelina for being a homewrecker. I totally doubt this is true.

Star also claims that Angelina wants to move back to France as soon as Brad is finished filming "Oceans 13," and that Brad wants to get married but Angelina's against it.That sounds more likely. From their e-mail newsletter:

This is not big news since Angelina has been calling the shots and already dragged the family to her mother's native France. No matter where they go they'll be hounded by photographers, though, because there were plenty of pictures of the Jolie-Pitts when they were in Paris.

It's all well and good for Angelina to say she doesn't need a nanny when she already has a chef, maid, and personal security staff to do her bidding. It must be easier to focus on your role as mother when there aren't a ton of other things to do.

Thanks to popbytes for the header image.

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Joining the list of snaggle-tooth stars who love their drink (which only includes Kirsten Dunst as far as I know, but that sounded funny) is Jewel, who praises the merits of alcohol in a recent quote:

Maybe Jewel is drinking high quality vodka or taking that active charcoal stuff that prevents hangovers, because drinking a lot is really counter productive in our extensive experience.

Also, it's weird that The Post says Jewel drinks Robitussin because all she said was that she enjoys alcohol. She was probably joking and so is The Post, but she must be drinking a lot or why would she joke like that?

Here is Jewel shooting her new video "Good Day" [via] She is shown with her boyfriend of 7 years, Ty Murray, called the "king of the cowboys."

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Britney changed little SP's diaper at a Victoria's Secret lingerie store. She didn't try to be discreet by using one of the plushy ottomans in the dressing room and just plopped him down next the cash register. When she was done she handed the dirty diaper to the woman at the counter to throw away for her!

She could have changed his diaper in the car, a nearby bathroom, or in the dressing room, but instead she used the floor in a high traffic area of the store. How "country" of her.

Britney shocked diners at a restaurant in early March by changing Sean Preston's diaper - right on the table in front of other guests trying to enjoy their meals.

Perry may be hot, but he's a novice in the baby department and what Britney needs is an all-purpose baby coach to advise her on safety and etiquette issues. In other words - she needs some class!

She says the tabloids are too hard on her and that they've gone too far, but she continues to make deliberate dumb mistakes.

Here are screencaps from Britney's interview with Matt Lauer, which airs in its entirety tonight on Dateline. Thanks to BreatheHeavy.com for these photos and the composite image above. They also have portions of Britney's upcoming interview transcribed.

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German photographers booed when Jen and Vince refused to pose together at a photocall for "The Break Up" in Hamburg:

People probably booed inside the movie too. Despite a strong box office showing, it's supposed to suck.

Jen and Vince may or may not be together. They were photographed enjoying dinner in Paris (above) [via] and at the French Open, but they don't seem happy or particularly into each other. That could just be how they always look, though.

They are shown at the French Open, below.

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Paris Hilton saw Lindsay Lohan out at a club in NY on Monday night and started screaming at her for having dared pick up Paris' leftovers. When Lohan responded calmly and Hilton lost the class battle, she went on a full-out assault for the slut title:

Paris and Lindsay's last fight was at a club in Hollywood in mid May, and they were screaming in each other's faces. Paris was said to be upset that Lindsay was name-dropping her during promotion for "Just My Luck," but that sounded like a bogus reason considering Lindsay had already slept with two of Paris' exes.

Someone must be coaching Lohan to help her better respond to well-deserved attacks. She must love that she came off as the classy one in this latest incident and probably called her publicist right away to give the news.

Paris is back with Stavros now, which sort of explains her possesiveness of the ultra-rich oil heir. This latest round is sure to be short-lived though, so why make a fuss?

Here is Lohan on the night in question. I don't know who those football guys are, but she might be posing with one of them. I google image searched both of the Giants mentioned and it's hard to tell. It could be some random other guy. Paris is shown signing autographs outside the Regis and Kelly show on 6/12. She has a nip slip, and I was considering making that into its own post, but that's kind of common with Paris so why hype it?

Paris is also shown outside her NY Hotel on 6/12. She is the victim of MAC Studio Fix Face, which reflects light and makes her look like a barbie whose head has been switched.

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"Lake House" is just about the weirdest premise for a romantic movie that I've heard of. Two lonely souls live in the same artsy house two years apart and end up communicating through letters they leave in a magic mailbox. It's supposed to be as boring as it sounds and not at all romantic.

Even the trailer is bad:

Sandra and Keanu are cute, though, and it's too bad they're starring in such a crappy movie.

Pictures [via]

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Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth had a low-profile on and off relationship
since meeting on the set of a Gap commercial in the spring of 2002. They were said to be engaged in October, 2004, but then Bloom confirmed that he had broken up with Bosworth in February, 2005. It didn't last long because Bloom and Bosworth were spotted shopping for engagement rings in mid-December of last year. They were last photographed together at the end of May.

Bloom was seen out with Bosworth last week, but had two different encounters with celebrity sluts that are suspicious:

The Mirror says it's more than a coincidence that Sienna Miller and Orlando Bloom were at the same place at the same time, they were having lunch together and then left separately to avoid being photographed:

Orlando Bloom is not that hot to me, and I don't get his appeal. In these pictures taken at the Raisa Gorbachev Foundation launch party on June 19th he looks like some of the wannabe hipster programmer types I used to work with who could have used a good shower and a shave. Claire Daines is also looking pretty beat at the event. [via]

There was a rumor a while ago that Orlando gave Kate herpes. With the types he's associating with I wouldn't be surprised.

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Nicole Richie and DJ AM were first engaged in February, 2005, split up in December, 2005, and then reconciled at the end of February, 2006 and were said to be planning a July wedding.

Richie and AM split for the second time back in mid-May, with both of their reps confirming it. AM supposedly was fed up with Richie's deathly-thin look, leading him to dump the tiny socialite. She does look slightly better lately and has been keen to show it off by posing for the paparrazi in her bikini. This may be enough for AM, because he was spotted having lunch with her yesterday at Le Conversacion in Beverly Hills.

This couple is getting to be like Jude and Sienna and we're tired of them.

The first four photos below are high res [via] and the rest are smaller. [via]

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- K-Fed's new dog (I'm not obsessed)
- More screencaps of Britney Spears on Dateline (Just Jared)
- Jada Pinkett Smith to star in 9/11 film (Gliteratti)
- This is probably Lindsay Lohan's new boyfriend (Jordan is your homeboy}
- Toni Braxton flashes her goodies (Crunk and Disorderly)
- Toni Braxton nipple slip and ass slip at the World Cup (Egotastic)
- Did Aishwarya Rai Sex Up Andrian Lester? (Bastardly)
- Shiloh's new crib, the Stokke Sleepi (The Chic Mommy)
- Mandy Moore and Zach Braff have not broken up (Faded Youth)
- Michael Jackson shows the bruises sustained when he was arrested on child molestation charges last year (Concrete Loop)
- Hooker Heather Mills confirms that she is divorcing sellout Paul McCartney (BlogNYC)
- Ashlee Simpson urges young girls to "do as I say, not as I do" (IDLYITW)
- Scarlet Johansson wins best Hollywood breasts (Gossipin)
- Brad Pitt is the dad of the year, or just the dad all the mommies want to fuck (PopSugar)
- Paris Hilton plans to make up with Nicole Richie. Richie was not available for comment - ever (MollyGood)
- Jennifer Aniston can't quit smoking and blames Vince Vaughn. (Socialite's Life}
- Screech has a huge shlong (CityRag)
- Jenna Elfman goes apesite on a guy wearing an anti-scientology t-shirt, tries to hide expensive "Zenu" knowledge from new recruit (DListed)
- Orlando Bloom and Claire Danes? (WWTDD)

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Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale show off little two and a half week-old Kingston in OK! Magazine.

NoDoubtWeb has a reprint of the OK! accompanying story, which mostly focuses on Gwen's fashion sense, how cute and likeable the family is, and the fact that Gwen plans to shape up quickly:

Gwen, Gavin and little Kingston plan to move to a bigger house in California. The home where they now live in Los Feliz was purchased by Gwen in 1998 and seems too small for the growing family.

Pictures [via]

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Maddona is pissed off at Britney because she showed some sense for once and rejected the money pit Kabbalah cult.

A few years ago I was dating this uber-hot but kind of slow guy. I had misgivings about him, but it was when I found out he was involved with Amway I realized I had to bolt.

Cult members are compelled to convert everyone they know. It's the ultimate insult to tell them that you're not interested in their "religion."

Madonna tried to tie her fading star to Britney a few years ago, and was flattering herself by thinking she could mold the pop star in her own crazy image. Now Madonna may have a semblance of a career back while all Britney has is her very public misery, but at least Britney didn't get sucked into a cult. Madonna thinks she has all the answers, but she leans on Kabbalah like a crutch while they get rich off her gullibility. Let's hope Britney gets her life on track soon. There are no quick fixes to enlightenment, but standing up for yourself and finding your own way is a good start.

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Charlie Sheen, 40, is dating 28-year-old real estate investor Brooke Wolofsky. Sheen brought Wolofsky as his date to the 2006 Butterfly Ball in Los Angeles this weekend. His publicist confirmed their relationship:

That's good for Sheen, and hopefully it will last for him. Now that his ex Denise Richards has shown what an attention whore she is I don't like her at all, and am kind of siding with him in the divorce.

Richards defended the fact that she's dating and possibly engaged to BonJovi guitarist Richie Sambora, saying that Heather Locklear wasn't really her best friend and that you can't help it when you fall in love:

She's full of shit and that's lousy to say "oh, I wasn't that close to Heather anyway." She shouldn't go on so much about it, and just looks as desperate as she did when she dressed like a slutty majorette to perform with the PussyCat Dolls.

Here are Sheen and Wolofsky. She looks like a decent person and we'll have to see how it turns out. If she has some of the same problems with Charlie that Denise did, we'll rethink our opinion of him. He's not a saint, but he's probably not as bad as Denise makes out.

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Sting's wife, Trudie Styler, was at her son's 21st birthday party at an exclusive nightclub in London, and had the brilliant idea to pop in the graphic video of her giving birth to him:

How fucking clueless do you have to be to think it's a good idea to show a birth video at your son's 21st birthday party? That's completely insane and utterly humiliating. What a dumb excuse she gave - he's a film producer. She could have screened some home movies and everyone would have been cooing. Instead she picked the most embarassing subject behind showing the conception video. Way to ruin your son's party.

No wonder Sting is addicted to strippers - his wife is crazy! She may be up to anything in the bedroom, but when you factor in her complete lack of common sense she must quite difficult to tolerate.

Here are Sting and Trudie at the "Louis Vuitton art talks" at the National Gallery in London on 5/25 and in Cannes. Sting looks like he barely puts up with her.

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Paris' car trouble just doesn't end. She was videotaped backing her SUV into a honda in a parking lot this weekend, and now she's getting sued for a multi-car pileup in LA. Paris wasn't driving and wasn't in the car - her cousin caused the accident with Paris' car. (If Paris was around, you would have heard of this already.) The suit claims she's legally responsible, though:

There are two other lawsuits pending against Paris. One is a $10 million defamation case filed by Zeta Graff. Paris falsely claimed that Graff attacked her at a London club in July of last year and arranged to have the story leaked to the tabloids.

Another lawsuit is by party planner Brian Quintana, who Paris called a "dirty Mexican" and reportedly harassed after Quintana is said to have told Paris' boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos III, to dump her to get back with Mary-Kate Olsen. Quintana said he would drop the suit if Paris would show up at the opening of one of his clubs. We're not sure if Paris followed through, but it means that she could avoid at least one of the three lawsuits against her, not that the careless party girl cares much.

And Paris may be back with Stavros for the third time, because the two were spotted buying DVDs together. They seem to have picked up Kathy Griffin's comedy DVD.

Since splittling with Stavros in early May she was linked shortly with NFL quarterback Matt Leinart and with the hot guy who played her love interested in her new music video.

Stavros is said to have begged Paris to take him back, and to have sampled Lindsay Lohan's spicy wares.

Here is Paris making sure the paparrazi get a shot of her new CD as she heads to a pilates class in Brentwood. [via] Paris and Stavros picture [via]

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Michael Jackson's ex and the father of two of his children, Debbie Rowe, claims that Paris, 8, and Prince Michael, 9, are not Jackson's biological spawn and were conceived with the help of an anonymous sperm donor. She is battling Jackson for custody of the children, after relinquishing her legal rights as their mother in a multi-million dollar payoff.

Court papers in the odd couples' custody battle are said to offer proof that Jackson is not the real father of his two oldest children:

If this true Jackson could definitely lose custody of two of his children, and it's probably for the best. It's bound to be quite difficult for them to lose their father and the only life they've known. Jackson is completely crazy and doesn't seem fit to raise pets, not to mention three children, but it will still be awful for them. It's also sad that they will be separated from their little four year-old brother, Prince Michael II. Prince Michael II was conceived and borne by a different surrogate than his siblings, and his mother has never come forward. He was the baby involved in the famous "baby dangling" incident where Jackson hung the child draped in a blanket over a balcony in Berlin, which he claims was an attempt to let nearby fans get a glimpse of the covered tot.

Here is Jackson at MTV Japan's music awards. He is shown with his children in the other low resolution photos.

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Heather Mills, of course, had to open her big mouth to deny that she was a high paid hooker back in the 80s and early 90s, as was reported in convincing detail yesterday in The News of the World.

Mills says she's going to sue News of the World, uh, when her divorce is final. Yeah, right. She's just threatening legal action to make it look like the story's false, but she won't take it to court because she can't prove it's not true. (I was thinking of writing "because she doesn't have a leg to stand on," and then I realized that would have been cruel. It's just a common expression that came to mind and was quickly dismissed.)

Now TWO more books have come out showing Heather nude and simulating sex . We can't wait to hear how she's going to address these pictures, because you know she's going to say something stupid trying to defend herself:

Some readers think McCartney is funding the research into Heather's raunchy past in order to avoid losing a significant portion of his estate in the divorce. This seems like the most plausible explanation to us. The papers are saying how surprised and devastated he is by all this, which sounds a bit too put-on for our taste. Reader Millie thinks that the British press might just be out for blood now that the divorce is underway. Either way, Heather needs to shut up and hide out until this passes over. She's coming off as an even less sympathetic character.

Here are Heather and Paul on the celebrity edition of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire." He looks quite uncomfortable, and it is said that Heather forced him to do the show. She leans away from Paul and her body language is telling.

That video is part one of three.
Part two of "Who wants to be a Millionaire" with Paul and Heather
Part three of "Who wants to be a Millionaire" with Paul and Heather

And here are the raunchy pictures.

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Tom Cruise called Angelina Jolie while she was still in Namibia to congratulate her on the birth of Shiloh Nouvel, but he soon tried to sneak his creepy cult Scientology into the conversation - by asking Jolie to pick up an "award" for her charity work from the Celebrity Scientology Center in Hollywood:

Rick Ross of CultNews.com points out that Cruise forgot that Jolie's significant other has a lot of experience with the cult. Brad Pitt reportedly dumped idiot Juliette Lewis back in the early 90s due to her involvement with Scientology.

Now that the details of the prenup between Tom and Katie have been worked out, Katie's parents are reportedly anxious for her to marry Tom and get her hands on the dough. She stands to make $3 million for every year she's marrie to the crazy half-pint, with a $33 million cap on her divorce settlement. If she leaves Tom now, she could lose custody of the supposed baby, according to an "insider," but if she marries him she stands to get some cash and has a better chance at keeping Suri.

Where the hell is Suri, anyway?!

The header image was taken during in Aberdeen during promotion for MI3. [via]

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X17online, which seems to be the official blog of the X17 paparrazi photo agency, claims to have an exclusive with pictures that show Britney getting into the front seat of her gas-guzzling Escalade with nine month-old Sean Preston. As commentors note, it's impossible to tell if she sits with SP on her lap as she has so eloquently defended as a "country" practice, or if she climbs into the back of the huge vehicle to put him safely in his carseat. Given Britney's reputation, it's hard to speculate whether she would have learned yet that people are watching her and that she needs to be careful, or if she would behave according to stereotype and continue to make dumb decisions that threaten her baby's safety. We're not sure, and are posting these pictures to get your comments.

Here is also a video preview of Britney's Dateline interview, which airs in part on Thursday morning on the Today Show and can be seen in full in a special that evening. She seems really pitiful, and I wish she would just lay low for a while and try to get her identity back rather than granting an interview. Sure she wants people to know that everything is just fine with her sad relationship, but she can't keep it together and shouldn't be talking to the press.

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People are saying she's bloated or whatever, but she really looks pregnant to me. Look how she poses defensively on the red carpet, holding her hands over her stomach and looking like she's trying to hide something. I think she's wearing a girdle here but still has a bump. It's below her belly button, not in the stomach area where it should be. If you look at the candid of her outside the Rodin museum, you can see a definite rounding. I may be wishing and hoping for this, since it would make such juicy gossip considering the situation, but I do believe it's true.

Life and Style Weekly is reporting that Aniston is pregnant. Yes I know that doesn't make it true, but someone else is reporting it!

Here is Aniston at a "Break Up" screening and photocall in Germany on June 12th and at the gardens of the Rodin museum in Paris on June 11th.

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Nick Lachey hooked up with MTV VJ and former fling Vanessa Minnillo in Atlantic City after meeting up with her at a club on Sunday night. They left together and things must have heated up quickly for the pair, because they were then spotted in Mexico together according to PerezHilton:

It is difficult to tell whether they were in Mexico first and planned to meet up at the club, or if they met in Atlantic City and promptly jetted off to the vacation spot. Either way, it looks like they're back together and that this means curtains for Nick's relationship with stylist Kim Kardashian.

Kardashian, who was linked to Nick after a romantic movie date on May 24th, has been seen out shopping and attending events with Paris Hilton. Her friendship with the flightly self-centered heiress couldn't have helped her relationship with Lachey, whose friends thought Kardshian's status as an outsider from the usual Hollywood circle was part of what made her attractive to Lachey. Kardashian's gorgeous looks couldn't have hurt, either.

This is also bad news for poor Jessica Simpson. She seems to have come to terms with the fact that it's over between her and Nick, because she may have approved of his relationship with Kardashian. Jessica reportedly sent her best friend and ex-assistant Cacee Cobb to check out Kardashian for her, and Cacee is said to have called Kim "nice." Nick and Jessica's divorce may be final on June 17th, and it looks like Nick is moving on with style.

Here is Lachey promoting his album at Lucky Strike lanes in Chicago on June 12th and at the Borgata Hotel Casino fight weekend after party on June 11th. He is shown with Tyson Beckford. The poor quality inset images are of Minnillo and Lachey in Cabo San Lucas.

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Britney's boyguard and inexperienced manny, Perry Taylor, wanted to become a US Navy Seal, but a bad stint in the Navy caused by too much boozing and carousing squashed his dreams and forced him to take a career in security:

Perry may have been a drinker like a lot of young people, but he's still ten times better than K-Fed, whose only brush with responsibility was working as a back up dancer and trying to start a career in a field he's completely inadequate in.

Britney and K-Fed were photographed together for the first time in weeks. K-Fed looked tired and uncomfortable with his family, in contrast to the calm and slightly bemused look that Perry Taylor sports when he's helping Britney with Sean Preston, which isn't even in his job description. Perry seems like a stand up guy with a regular past that isn't too embarassing.

Here are Perry's family pictures, which are a bit blurry and not terribly interesting, but you might want to see them. Thanks to BritneySpears.nu for the story and pictures.

Related:

- BlogNYC verifies our claims about the Glam Network, also comes to the conclusion that it's a scam [BlogNYC]
- The Jolie-Pitts are back, baby! [MollyGood]
- K-Fed returns home to take a shower, looks thrilled to get roped into walking with his wife and child on Perry's day off. [DListed]
- Beyonce and Jay-Z Candids [Crunk and Disorderly]
- Ivana Trump wants Paris Hilton to play her in a movie about her life [Glitterati]
- Toni Braxton's ass flash [Hollywood Tuna]
- Mariah Carey's face is tight as a drum [CityRag]
- The Tony Award Winners [Socialite's Life]
- Paris Hilton manages to screw a chairty out of funds just by mentioning them [WWTDD]
- The Bastardly Lady of the Day claims she's a lesbian but sent in pictures of herself posing in lingerie and holding a whip [The Bastardly]
- A sneak peek at Britney's cryfest [FadedYouth]
- UK Woman gives details about sleeping with fatty Cee-Lo of Gnarls Barkley, says he spoiled her and they had great sex, but his stomach "was like he was pregnant" and "he didn't get to go on top." [Concrete Loop]
- Gwen Stefani looking tired and carrying Kingston wrapped up [I'm not obsessed]
- Fabulous NY-based queen Kevian Aviance was the victim of a hate crime. Get well soon, Kevin. [PopBytes]
- Matt Damon is a dad! Welcome Isabella Damon, who was born on Monday and weighed in at 7lb, 7oz. She's just the right age to be friends with little Katie Sugar. [PopSugar]

Also, I just had to post this picture of K-Fed:

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Heather Mills was a well paid hooker who participated in orgies and had gay and straight sex, according to sworn statements from two people who worked with her and revealed information verified by Britain's News of the World. Mills didn't just sell her body once or twice to pay the electric bill - she worked as a prostitute for years:

The prince's secretary goes on to reveal more specifics involving group sex and trysts Mills had with the prince over several years, with the latest being in the early 90s.

This is incredible, and it looks like News of the World did their homework and isn't just making this up. Before Mills and McCartney separated, I remember reading gossip that claimed that Mills used to entertain rich Middle Eastern men, but it didn't get into such raunchy specifics.

Mills is not going to escape this explosive news, and she better lay low for a while. Of course she can always claim to have been working as a sex therapist at the time - that defense seemed to have been quite effective with her porny picture book.

She's going to get creamed in the divorce settlement with Paul McCartney now, and will be lucky if she comes away with a paltry few million to live on. She's going to have to deal with the embarassment from this scandal for the rest of her life.

Pictures [via]

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Kate Beckinsale has reportedly moved out of the home she shares with her husband of almost two years, director Len Wiseman:

The Sun is a terrible source, and they run fake news all the time, but if this is true it must mean they're having trouble at least. We'll just have to wait and see.

One of the commentors, Agent Orange, on the board where we found the news notes that Wiseman made Kate a star and that this could be the end of her career:

Kate is rather popular and we doubt this will mean that she no longer gets roles.

Here are Kate and Len out in Santa Monica in March and April

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In an interview with Matt Lauer to air in Thursday night, Britney defends driving with her baby on her lap, saying that she often sat on her dad's lap as a child while he was behind the wheel, and that the practice is "country":

In this case "country" is code for "stupid," which is sure to piss off non city-dwellers everywhere.

Britney also defends her marriage with the absent Kevin, saying it's awesome that he's not living in the basement:

It's not true that Kevin's living in the basement because he's sleeping on a friend's couch in an apartment in Studio City, California and hasn't seen Britney in weeks. In her book that's awesome because Kevin is even more "country" than she is and she's afraid he'll endanger Sean Preston if he comes back to smoke up the house again with his pals.

It's sad that she thinks the paparrazi is the cause of her emotional state, but she should blame Kevin for that, not the hoards of photographers that follow her everywhere.

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Denise Richards slutted it up to perform with the Pussycat Dolls this weekend. She looked more like a high school senior at an early 90s-era dance recital than a chick about to go onstage with a female band famous for vag slips.

Richards told Page Six that she's happy that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was born this week because it takes the tabloids' attention away from her relationship with her ex-best friend's husband, Richie Sambora. Richards was spotted with a big diamond on her left ring finger, and people are saying she's moving ultra-fast to get engaged to Sambora. Her divorce with Charlie Sheen isn't even close to being finalized.

Sabora and Richards were spotted visiting the sites in Paris, and the NY Daily News suggests it wasn't a coincidence that the paparazzi knew exactly where they were.

Here is Richards with big bushy eyebrows and hair wearing a drum major outfit.

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Star Magazine is reporting that Tobey Maguire's fiance and girlfriend of three years, Jennifer Meyer, daughter of Universal head Ron Meyer, is pregnant:

We reported six weeks ago that Maguire and Meyer were recently engaged, as reported by Page Six. They were said to have visited an ObGyn together at the end of March, so Meyer is probably further along than this article suggests.

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Jake Gyllenhaal and his costar weak Heath Ledger won the MTV Movie award for "Best Kiss" for their on-screen guy on guy snog in "Brokeback Mountain." Gyllenhaal joked during his acceptance speech that he told Ledger at the time that if they didn't win the award it wouldn't have been worth it. Gyllenhaal was a good sport and attended the ceremony, while Ledger stayed at home cowering from the paparrazi.

Gyllenhaal was recently linked with Natalie Portman after he was said to be dating an Olympic snowboarder. We just don't see it happening - either one.

Ryan Phillippe and his powerful sperm are going to star in the Iraq War drama "Stop-Loss" headed by "Boys Don't Cry" director Kimberly Pierce. Phillippe will play a soldier who refuses to return to Iraq after being called back to battle unfairly. This is a big opportunity for Phillippe and should help his faltering Hollywood career.

We needed a filmsy excuse to publish these pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Phillippe working out with the same trainer. If only they were high resolution and we could zoom in the pics of Phillippe wiping his sweaty face with the bottom of his shirt.

(We are totally ripping off The Bastardly's favorite expression in that headline.)

Pictures [via]

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Marc Anthony may or may not be ill. When we say he's ailing, we're referring to an earlier story where we speculated based on scant evidence that the Latin crooner is dying. He may not be verifiably ill, but he sure acts grumpy enough to at least be suffering from an intestinal disorder.

Anthony got in a fight with photographersat the Women in Film awards on Tuesday. When a photographer pushed him back while trying to get a picture of J.Lo he went off on the guy:

Marc has a too-short fuse and is quick to declare his love for his diva wife. Somethings wrong with him!

Meanwhile J.Lo has publically denied that she's pregnant. People are insisting she is, though, because In Touch says she supposedly bought a diaper bag and told Leah Remini that her boobs are going to get bigger while they were out shopping for clothing. TMZ was there too, and said it's not true since sales staff swore that Lopez had a flat stomach.

Here is Marc doing his national duty as grand poobah of the Puerto Rican Day parade with J.Lo in tow on Saturday in NY City. [via]

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We are trying to find a solution for hosting high resolution images and wanted to ask your opinion. We have a premium account at PhotoBucket, which is the best ad-free photo host, but PhotoBucket does not automatically resize images to fit your screen. This is not an issue for Firefox users, but most of you are on Internet Explorer and probably prefer that images are resized.

We have been using ImageShack, and it seemed like a great host because it automatically creates thumbnails with image dimensions and the ads are relatively tame. I just noticed that ImageShack launches pop-up windows, though, which are incredibly annoying. (I only noticed this when I moved to a computer that didn't have an Internet security program and would not have used this image host if I was aware of it. That other computer could also be infected with spyware which might be causing the problem.)

ImageVenue is another solution, but the ads there are pretty racy, which could create a problem for people surfing at work or school. (So could most of the posts on this site, but that's another issue.)

Would you please compare the photos on the following posts and let us know what you prefer?

BlogNYC ran a story about former playmate Stephanie Adams going batshit on a cabbie and then suing the NYPD for $5 million for being rough (topless photos NSFW) while arresting her for it. Adams promptly encouraged her "friends" on MySpace to bash BlogNYC and another reporting blog. Her "friends'" comments on the post are ad hominem attacks against the author, calling him "shitty" and criticizing the fact that he dared post a recap of the story. The papers who originally reported the story must have been beyond Adams' wrath since they don't accept comments.

Adams also sent a nasty all-caps e-mail to BlogNYC, threatening legal action if they didn't remove the photos they posted from her 14 year-old cheesy Playboy spread and dizzying mySpace. She tried to play herself off as her own shrieking publicist, but she couldn't hide behind her bad prose and caps lock.

Poor Adams has to resort to yelling and citing her status as an author to get her point across, because she doesn't have the "capital" to sue over a critical blog post.

Adams is an out and proud lesbian, so while she's in touch with her sexuality she's not quite as aware of her personal failings. She believes she's some kind of psychic and offers "love readings," and "tarot readings" for $100 payable by PayPal on her website. The commentors attacking BlogNYC for writing an article about her are the same people who shell out $100 to get her shouted metaphysical e-advice.

She clearly has low self esteem. In an image caption on the front page of her website she writes "I never really cared about how others see me as much as I care about how I see myself when I look in the mirror." She's protesting too much. If that was true she wouldn't bother writing a single e-mail trying to silence bloggers.

These are Adams' MySpace pictures. So while her Playboy pictures might be copyrighted these pictures legally belong to MySpace, not her.

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Paris' publicist, Elliot Mintz, has a great job. He has to come up with creative ways to lie and spin shit whenever Paris offends someone or is generally inconsiderate or dumb. Since she leaves the house nearly every day, he gets a lot of work. Last month he spread the unlikely story that a thief snatched a bagful of high end Mother's day gifts for Kathy Hilton that Paris was never seen shopping for. He was spotted in the firecrotch video trying in vain to do on-scene damage control. Now he's saying that Paris never left the scene of the crime after backing her Range Rover into a Honda in a parking lot, even though there's a video of the incident that shows her doing it.

Since he doesn't have much to go on, he uses the tried and true "paparrazi defense" favored by Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears:

Notice that Muntz doesn't state Paris' actions as fact, he said she told him that she left her contact information, which is different than saying she actually did it.

To be fair to Paris, a paparrazoa was asking her one of those dumb questions they always shout at celebrities to get their attention when she had the accident. Something like "Did you have fun shopping?" This actually works, because Jennifer Love Hewitt and Denise Richards answer those fools and have been videotaped having conversations with them.

Here's the video. She is seen saying goodbye to Kim Kardashian, Nick Lachey's new girlfriend, before getting into the car.

(This title is a play on Paris' song "Stars are Blind," and no offense is intended to our visually impaired readers - not that anyone would actually visit this site for the writing. We are also sorry that we don't use image alt tags because we're too lazy.)

Here is Paris in a "Stars are Blind" promo photoshoot and at the unveiling of "Idols Of Gay Hollywood" on June 8th. [via] Notice that this site has been relatively Paris Hilton-free for over a week.

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"30 Second to Mars" frontman and sometimes-actor Jared Leto dated Cameron Diaz for four years until 2003, and has been linked to Scarlet Johansson, Ashley Olsen, and Lindsay Lohan. Now he's said to be romancing Jessica Simpson, because the ditsy blonde was all over him at a club:

Jared's fitness status is of interest because he porked up for his role as John Lennon asassin Mark David Chapman in the film "Chapter 27." He went on the Beyonce diet to lose weight after filming wrapped. He said he ate melted Haggan Daas ice cream to gain weight, and fasted for at least a week to lose it.

Leto's ex Carmen Diaz is no catch, but Scarlet Johansson seems like a take-no-prisoners kind of girl, and if she dated Jared for a while he has to have some redeeming qualities - and more sense - than to get caught up with Jessica Simpson on the rebound. Simpson may be hot, but she's damaged goods for now, and needs much more attention than Leto can give her. It sounds like he's just playing the field and will wise up about Simpson soon.

Here's Simpson at the Chrysalis' Fifth Annual Butterfly Ball 6/10 and leaving her NY hotel on 6/6. She looks better dressed outside of her hotel. Pictures [via]

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Lindsay Lohan seemed like she was moderately improving. She didn't strike back at Paris Hilton or Brandon Davis for the firecrotch rant video, and she may have even made up with Paris depending on how you interpret the story. She also admitted to not being able to stay in a committed relationship. She came off as a sympathetic slutty character for a week or two. Then she had to go and open her mouth again.

A few weeks ago she told Matt Lauer that she's the "hardest working person" she knows.

In an interview in Harper's Bazaar, she takes her frenetic self perception to a new level by claiming that she's gone through more in her coke-fueled 19.75 years than most people have in a lifetime. Yeah, that's how you see the world when you're jacked up on coke.

These few quotes by Lohan provide a lot of fodder to rip on her.

It's completely out of touch and arrogant for Lohan to say she's been through more than most people - not some people - have in a lifetime. She shleps around handbags that are worth more than a large percentage of families in the world take home in a year. (Disclosure: I am totally superficial and would carry these same purses if I could afford it.) Doing a lot of drugs, guys, and shopping is not in the same hardship league as not being able to put food on the table.

In terms of Lohan saying that she's in it for the long term and doesn't want to run out of steam, that seems like a legimate concern she should have. Lohan is partying like a mad woman, and she's linked with a new guy every week. It's all well and good to say you have trouble settling down, but being known for going to the bathroom a lot and having catfights with models who date your older fuckbuddies isn't going to do much for her career. She needs to actually calm down and stay home for a while if she wants to be taken seriously. (And it's probably Brett Ratner who called her "kid," because don't all directors use that term?)

So let's call Lindsay Lohan "Kid Party Girl" from now on. It seems to bother her much more than "Firecrotch."

Here she is at a Cartier event looking completely sober.

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Poor Heath Ledger. First his girlfriend tells everyone how upsetting it was to him that his hot naked pictures got leaked onto the 'net, and now his dad reveals that getting squirted with water by the paparrazi made him cry all night and move out of Australia. In related news, his dad's name is Kim:

Ledger is going to be so pissed that he dad revealed that he cried over this. Unlike Tom Cruise's angry response to getting squirted on the red carpet, Ledger was said to be "unruffled" by the incident. He must hold everything inside until it eats him up, just like his character in "Brokeback Mountain."

Breaking down and moving out of town because some photographers get pissy with you is a response way out of proportion to the incident. He was said to have spit on the guys, so getting hit with some watergun spray is a pretty mild consequence. Maybe he'll grow up and quit being so sensitive after he realizes how foolish this makes him look.

Why would his dad reveal that about him though? He could be pissed that he's not seeing his granddaughter much since Ledger is so afraid of travelling to Australia and getting sprayed with more water.

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- Dyslexics welcome Shiloh Pitt (Grumpy Old Indian Man)
- Sarah Jessica Parker goes to NY Stock Exchange to ring the morning bell; leaves three minutes before the morning bell (MollyGood)
- I spend a lot of time ripping on James Blunt, so when he hit the Petra Nemcova supermodel girlfriend jackpot I kind of wanted to ignore it for a while. (Egotastic)
- Christina Milian's wardrobe malfunction from heaven (The Bastardly)
- Prairie Home Companion is a fun ensemble piece with a wacky vibe (PopBytes)
- Victoria Beckham and her boys (Gabsmash)
- Pete Doherty enters rehab for 128th time (Socialite's Life)
- Woman gets beat up with a dead chihuahua. (DListed)
- Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt is Not Exclusive (yeeeah)
- Nicole Richie picks out a bikini (I'm not obsessed)
- Even Drew Barrymore can't get a cab in NYC (PopSugar)
- This is what getting dumped by George Clooney over and over again does to you (Hollywood Tuna)
- Only “North Korean Army” less popular than Scientology as NASCAR sponsor (Cult News)
- Reese Witherspoon still looks pregnant (Just Jared)
- Nicole Richie comes off as a real slut on the latest Simple Life (Chic Mommy)

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You can view a recap video of the MTV Movie awards at YouTube. (Embedding is disabled or I would have posted it here.)

There isn't footage of Alba hosting the awards in the recap video, but you can view Alba accepting her award for the sexiest role about 10 minutes into the video. She says "Thank you to all the perverts who voted for me!"

All of Jessica Alba's promos for the MTV Movie Awards are below.

More pictures of Alba at the MTV Movie awards.

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Here's Christina performing her new single "Ain't No Other Man" at the MTV Movie Awards, which aired last night.

The song is incredible and XTina just gives it her all. You can download the single and see pictures from the performance.

Thanks to Faded Youth for posting this first.

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Maybe being humped by dolphins skeeved Jessica Alba out so bad that she became a germ-o-phobe, because she admits to using antibacterial Febreze liberally when she has to stay in hotels:

It's not like Alba's staying at the Comfort Inn, so she has a serious problem if she can't trust the cleanliness at the Four Seasons or Ritz Carlton.

Alba hasn't been seen with her boyfriend, Cash Warren, in some time. She was said to have broken his heart by deciding to move to NY in the near future, and may have discouraged him from proposing to her. Commentors on Jmazone.de note that Warren may be working in Vancouver, which could explain his absence.

Here is Alba admitting her problem to Jay on "The Tonight Show." [via]

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Yes, I know I already talked about these people today, but this is big news - it means that K-Fed realizes that his cash flow is about to be seriously restricted, and is resorting to a backup plan of living beyond his means like an average mallrat wannabe rapper from the 'burbs:

Ok, so Kevin has a somewhat smarter plan - he hopes to stick Britney with the bill during the divorce. That means the big D-Day is coming, people!

Of course Kevin is said to be jealous of gorgeous helpful Perry, who is getting a lot more positive press as Britney's bodyguard than K-Fed ever did as her deadbeat husband. He must be reading TMZ like the rest of us, because he can't get jealous of Perry in person since he's never been seen with him. He aso hasn't been photographed with Britney in over two months.

Here are some scans from Star courtesy of BreatheHeavy.com. You can read Star's article about Perry that's similar to news we've already posted. He's a great guy and is changing Sean Preston's diapers, helping Britney around the house, and generally pissing off absent Kevin.

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We are bleeding heart liberals, and even we think this is dumb. Barbra Streisand says she's going to tour for the first time in 12 years to bring awareness to the causes she's interested in. And, get this, she will give "designated proceeds" to charity - her own charity. She doesn't give an exact percentage or amount of course:

If you're going to give money to charity, you should say exactly how much. It's going to Babs' own damn foundation, so you think she could commit to an amount if she's going to put out a press release about it. She could earn up to $2 million a night for this tour, so it's not like she can't afford it.

Just like Heather Mills, Barbara Streisand has a snotty "Myth vs. Truth" section on her official website. Of course she should dispute inaccurate reports, but she does it in such an over-the-top self-satisfied way that it makes her seem reactionary.

On her website Streisand doesn't address a NY Daily News report that she didn't pay for tickets at a Malibu Movie theater with her husband, James Brolin. Stresiand sucked up to the young guy at the counter to avoid having to pay less than $20 to get in. Her publicist defended the cheapskate move, saying comping celebrities is a "professional courtesy that many theaters extend to film stars."

Streisand will play 20 concerts in the US in October and November of this year.

Update: I actually read through several of the "Myth vs. Truth" sections of Babs' website, and they're not that over-the-top. The problem I have is with the name of the section coupled with the riduculous design of her website. It features a pink content area on a black background and has a dumb picture of Streisand holding roses while sitting on a pink silk chair as the header image. She should shell out the money to hire a more modern designer. Oh wait - she's too cheap. Been there. Worked for those people. (Oh, I have this lovely picture I'd like to put on the top of every page. Could you blow it up too and make it the background?)

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Lindsay Lohan says that she can't settle down with one guy, and tries to explain away her sluttiness by claiming she's like a guy:

Lohan says she's not with McFly's drummer Harry Judd, and that they're "just friends," but Judd's bandmates wrote a song teasing him about hooking up with Lindsay, called "Please Please Lindsay Please."

Here's a story about the song on E! Daily. The lyrics: "You love yourself more than you love me."

Judd must be one of the "several men who live overseas" Lindsay's publicist says she dating. We suspect one of the other guys is Londoner Jamie Burke, Kate Moss' ex.

Lindsay may have a good excuse for not being able to stick with one guy - she's jacked up on so much cocaine that she needs constant excitement.

Lindsay is a busy girl, all right.

Here she is getting a less harmful stimulant and getting out of her car. [via]

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Britian's The Sun, which we do not trust, is reporting that Britney and Kevin spent the weekend together and that Britney is upset that Kevin wants to make a movie that glorifies his psuedo-gansta past, similar to "8 Mile," except "8 Mile" was moderately accurate:

Now, if Britney and Kevin spent the weekend together, why do they mention it as an afterthought? They haven't been photographed together in over two months and this would be huge news. The paparazzi follow them everywhere and there's no way this part of the story is true.

It might be true that Kevin is planning a film based on his life though. That sounds like the sort of thing the incompetent rapper would try. He claims to have been in a gang in Fresno, California, but he was vague and declined to give details because there aren't any.

Kevin, you've only hustled for Britney's money, and that's pretty inventive of you but it doesn't really make you capable of a film career beyond the unwatchable "Chaotic."

In related news, a couple of days ago we reported that Britney was going to design baby clothes. It's probably true because sleuths at Socialite's Life discovered that Britney has trademarked her infant son's name, Sean Preston, suggesting that she's planning a line of clothing under his name.

Here are outtakes from Britney's magazine spread for Glamour UK. The official pictures came out in early May of this year. [via]

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This extended love scene from Mr. and Mrs. Smith makes it easy to see how Brad and Angelina hooked up on set. They have so much chemistry together:

And here's a deleted scene of Brad and Angelina's kissing at their on-screen wedding. This may be the only time they walk down the aisle.

Header picture [via]

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TMZ reports that preparations are in high gear at Brad Pitt's $9 million Malibu estate for the famous family's return to the states this weekend. A van full of liquor pulled up on Wednesday, the secuirty system was upgraded, and the tennis court was covered again to create a large play area for Maddox.

In terms of the glass house offering a clear view from the ocean, there will probably be a tarmac put up to block the paparrazi just like at the Burning Shore Resort in Namibia.

The best part of the story is the fact that Brad and Angelina plan to have Shiloh sleep in the master bedroom with them. It's a lot easier on mom and dad to have a newborn in the same room as they can respond quickly when she wakes to nurse, and everyone will get more sleep. It also sounds sweet and like they are loving parents.

This news seems accurate, because Brad and Angelina admitted during their Namibian press conference that they planned to return to the states within a few days. It should be a lot more comfortable in California for Brad, who was said to be fed up with the heat and seclusion in Africa. Will Angelina be content to stay in Malibu with her new family? We doubt it. Once Shiloh is a little older she's bound to hightail it to France.

TMZ also has a video of Brad and Angelina's press conference. Angelina talks about moving to Africa, International Refugee Day, and their donation to Namibian hospitals. Brad doesn't say anything and is out of the frame until the end, when he kind of smirks and then catches himself and tries to look serious. She is pretty good at talking to the press and he seems content to let her do her thing.

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Thanks to Girlzilla at Oh No They Didn't for pointing out that Aniston's got a bump! It would be just like her to go and get pregnant out of spite.

Is she just slouching or could she really be having a Vaughn spawn?

At first I didn't think this was true - then I looked at the HQ photos. I really believe she's knocked up. My husband looked at these photos and said "She's at that age where she's getting desperate."

She wore a tight dress to the Australian premiere of "The Break Up" on June 5th, so she's not doing anything to try and hide it.

Aniston seems indifferent about having children. Although she says she wants them eventually she balked when asked by Regis if she ever babysits Coco Cox, Courtney's daughter.

Aniston's supposed boyfriend, her "Breakup" costar Vince Vaughn, told Oprah that he hasn't talked about children with Aniston and that it's a big deal for him:

We commented at the time that it sounds like Vince wants kids, just not with Jen.

Here are high quality images thanks to Hollywood's Best from "The Break-Up" Australian Premiere on 6/5, press conference on 6/6, Chicago premiere on 5/29 and LA premiere on 5/22. She has a definite bump at all of these events.

For comparison, the last row has pictures of Aniston outside "The Late Show" on 5/24. Her stomach is perfectly flat there, so there is a chance that she is bloated in the other pictures. The woman is thin and toned though, and the bump is pretty pronounced, so we are inclined to think she's pregnant.

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Some people with filtering software (at least ChicMommy) are being blocked from the site. This is most likely due to keywords like pr0n in our post about slutty Heather Mills, which proved surprisingly popular. This also caused some software on our host to throw weird errors for people trying to access the site a couple of days ago. We're going to try to be less dirty in post titles.

We also have company this week, which explains our agitated zest for muckraking along with the slightly lighter posting schedule. It's a busy summer so far.

By the way - where the hell is Suri?! All the celebrity newborns, including even Rachel Weisz's baby, have been seen, but Suri is still a no-show. What's wrong? (We just love hearing people comment about this.)

- Details of the Cruise-Holmes prenup are not credible until we see proof that there is an actual GD baby (MollyGood)
- The world's most beautiful family and baby, Shiloh Jolie Pitt, are more lovely when illustrated. (Gallery of the Absurd)
- Jessica Alba has hot dolphin sex (Jordan is your Homeboy)
- Beyonce launches search for all-female band (Concrete Loop)
- Nicole picks up Paris' leftovers (Faded Youth)
- Salma Hayek looking hot at the Swarovski Dinner (99 Monkeys)
- Da Brat raps with her pants down at the Hot 97 Summer Jam (Young Black and Fabulous)
- Mischa Barton drives a green Impala? (The Bastardly)
- Paris Hilton parks in handicapped spaces (WWTDD)
- Lindsay Lohan snorts a line of coke every 2 hours (yeeeah)
- Naomi Campbell wants a baby to beat on (Crunk and Disorderly)
- Geri Haliwell and Blueballs Madonna in a low-rent version of the Messiah Jolie-Pitt photospread (DListed)
- Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson's divorce to be final on June 17th? (Socialite's Life)
- Angelina Jolie replaces her Billy Bob tattoo with the latitude and longitude for Maddox and Zahara's birthplace (I'm Not Obsessed)
- The Effects of 666 : Nicole Richie Splashes Water on Paparazzi (Gossipin)
- Janet Jackson's freaky boob job (Egotastic)
- J.Lo says she's not pregnant. Big surprise there. (PopSugar)
- Everyone is getting legally harassed to remove the Jolie-Pitt pictures. (popbytes)
- Fox News says Anne Coulter went too far even for them. (BlogNYC)
- The Lingerie Bowl Press Conference (Hollywood Tuna)

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Thanks to reader Millie for e-mailing me to let me know that I'm not Obsessed had the Shilloh baby pictures that are coming out in People and Hello!. Unfortunately they had to be taken down, but we're under the radar for now and found them on the Saving Face Forum. This family is so cute that we feel sort of bad questioning Shiloh's parentage.

In the press conference with Brad yesterday, Angelina dismissed claims that she may marry the supposed father of her newborn baby, saying that they are committed to their children, but that "to have a ceremony on top of it is nothing." Getting married is nothing indeed, Angelina, especially when you have no plans to do it.

These photos are from Italian Vanity Fair.

Update: higher quality images thanks to CelebVent and originally from JustJared.

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Marc Anthony took out a bizarre ad in Variety, declaring his love for J.Lo in the format of a film script:

This is our theory, and we have reader Angelika to thank for the insight: something is totally wrong with Marc Anthony. He looks deathly ill, with bags under his eyes and a sunken face. We think he's suffering quietly from an illness and wants to let Lopez know in the most public way possible that he loves her. Doesn't this seem like the type of thing a dying person would do? He says "Here's to never waking up, Baby," in the ad, which could be a dual reference to the dream-like state of love and death. Unless their two year marriage is in trouble, which would be completely uncharacteristic of J.Lo, it seems like the most plausible explanation.

We're oversensationalizing this story, though, because there were three other ads from studios praising J.Lo in that issue of Variety, and Anthony probably just wanted to add his loving regards.

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An article in the Sydney Morning Herald discusses how Russell Crowe tried to manipulate a journalist into writing positive stories about him, with the promise of becoming his publicist. Crowe had the guy and his wife over to his house several times, initially asking him to promote his sophmoric album to his friends in the press corps. He offered to pay him for his services, but the writer, who has a family and could have used the money, refused for moral reasons.

The journalist, Jack Marx, soon discovered how Crowe gets lauded in the press - he pulls this same buddy scam with tons of journalists, and even phones people personally to discuss negative articles about him.

Crowe befriended Marx and groomed him to write an article about him while he was promoting "Cinderella Man." Marx initially refused, saying he was too close to Crowe to be objective. Crowe insisted though, and Marx went through with it. When the article came out and it was cautiously positive and believable instead of kissing Crowe's ass - Crowe turned on him and dumped him as a friend.

Marx's article on Crowe came out, and was praised by other writers for presenting the bombastic actor as a decent guy with regular human failings. Crowe was mighty pissed at Marx for not making him seem better than God, and blew him off with a one-line e-mail: "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Crowe later wrote him a longer message, completely dismissing him.

Crowe is a total asshole, and the next time you see a positive story about him in the press, realize that he most likely called the journalist or had her over for dinner. That seems to be his pasttime when he's not abusing hotel staff, trying to pass himself off as a humble singer, or getting paid millions to act in films.

The Sydney Morning Herald e-mailed me this story, and it was quite a useful tip. E-mail tips to info at celebitchy.com.

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Britney's "Manny" is not a childcare expert at all - he's a security guard who graduated from the Naval Academy and chose a career as Britney's security guard instead of working for a private security firm in Iraq. He also has a hot girlfriend, so he can't be shagging Britney, right?

His Mom tells TMZ that he doesn't know much about babies, and is "just learning" how to care for Sean Preston. He looks like he's a quick learner to us, and he would make a great dad!

That's too bad that he has a girlfriend, because everyone wanted to attribute Britney's personal changes to an affair with the mystery man. Reader Millie pointed out that Princess Caroline married her bodyguard, so it's possible for Britney, too!

It looks like Britney can take full credit for her new outlook, and that might be the best news of all.

Here is Perry getting groceries. [via] Obviously the source we quoted in an earlier report that claimed his name was "Henry" was wrong.

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