Charlize Theron sported darker hair and is still wearing that engagement ring we first spotted back in late April. A new interview from Scotland, where she has been attending the Edinburgh film festival, calls her boyfriend of four years, Irish actor Stuart Townsend, her fiance. It's stated in a matter-of-fact manner despite the fact that this news hasn't been announced:

Theron's engagement has been under the radar in Hollywood, although she wore a ring on ther left ring finger to the opening of Club Social Hollywood in late June and may be waiting for the press to pick up on it.

She is producing and starring in a new film about Cuban music artists, her first in over two years. She quipped on stage at the Edinburgh film festival that she was moving to Scotland, as she was surprised that they gave her whisky to drink during a press conference.

Since wer're the first ones to spot this we're calling it a sort-of exclusive.

Here is Theron at the film festival on August 17, 18, and 19th. [via]

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She must have just worked out her abs hard, because Nicole Kidman no longer has a hint of a bump in these pictures taken outside her Hollywood gym on August 5th. Either her stomach is sore or she's teasing the paps, because she really doesn't look pregnant. The 39 year-old actress is said to want a biological child with her new husband, country crooner Kieth Urban, 38.

Reader Millie points out that fertility treatment can make a woman bloated, and that could explain the baby bumps on otherwise skinny "older" actresses.

Kidman has lent her name to an ad declaring support for Isreal in the Middle East Crisis. She signed an ad in the LA Times along with Michael Douglas, Danny DeVito, Dennis Hopper, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Don Johnson, James Woods, Kelly Preston, and Patricia Heaton, saying she was "pained and devastated by the civilian casualties in Israel and Lebanon caused by terrorist actions initiated by terrorist organizations such as Hezbollah and Hamas."

Now we know which side of the Hollywood fence she stands on. I'm not touching the subject this time people, discuss amongst yourselves.

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The Beastie Boys, Eminem and 3rd Bass all prove that white guys can rap. Vanilla Ice was ahead of his time. K-Fed embodies the stereotype that white guys are idiot posers with no talent. His performance at the Teen Choice Awards yesterday just set white rappers back 15 years.

Britney threw some more seaweed over her beached whale of a career by coming on stage in one of her trademark boob-baring maternity dresses and introducing her husband through a mouthful of gum.

During the performance teen boys try to distract from the real K-Fed by performing karaoke to his rapping, and a wingman raps the intro to the song, but nothing can save this hot mess. All the boys do is remind us that K-Fed's insane ambition to rap is best abandoned in the Junior High years.

This video links out to YouTube:

Thanks to We Love Celebs for the header image and video link.

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- The bloggers hyped it mercilessly and "Snakes on a Plane" is so bad it's good. Better. Best. Don't get turned off by the hype. [Pajiba]
- "Snakes on a Plane" lives up to the hype, really! [Egotastic]
- Baby Suri Cruise required 21 days of photoshoots and lots and lots of photoshopping. [Mollygood]
- Macaca is the new black. Are you down? [Grumpy Old Indian Man]
- Kate Beckinsale smoking is not so sexy [Hot Momma Drama]
- Kate Beckinsale exercising is a little better [Bastardly]
- Christina Ricci sent in naked photos to land a role [yeeeah]
- Jessica Simpson is without Ken Paves for once [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- Who has the worst facelift, Regis or The Hoff? [Agent Bedhead]
- Wile E. Coyote finally catches The Roadrunner! [Popoholic]
- Now it's obvious why Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson looked so guilty while promoting "Dupree" [CityRag]
- Owen Wilson threatens to sue the rags that claim he broke up Kate Hudson's marriage [Haute Gossip]
- Hottie Clive Owen in GQ [I'm not obsessed]
- Andrew Stetson is the new face of Calvin Klein fragrance, but who cares about his face? [Oh La La Paris]
- Justin Timberlake is jealous of Taylor Hicks, and is a closet case [BlogNYC]
- Are those "coke" pictures of Lindsay Lohan Photoshopped? [Jossip]
- What's up Demi Moore's nose? She's hanging with Lohan, after all [PopSugar]
- Rhianna bikini pictures [Hollywood Tuna]
- New Angelina Jolie St. John's Ad [Wizbang Pop]
- Heather Mills may release a video diary of her divorce so that she seems like less of an evil money-grubber [Faded Youth]
- Nick Lachey will auction off his reminders of Jessica Simpson [Socialite's Life]

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Cutie Zooey Deshanel has bested Pink, Lohan, Britney Spears and Scarlet Johansson to land the role of Janis Joplin in an upcoming movie about the singer's ill-fated life, "The Gospel According to Janis":

Deshanel is known for supporting roles in "Almost Famous" in 2000 and "Failure to Launch" in 2006. She bears more than a passing resemblance to Janis and it will be interesting to see how good the film is and how well she pulls off the role.

That's great news and it should be a big boost to her career. According to IMDB, she has four movies in the can that come out next year, is filming another, and is announced to be in three more. We're going to see a lot more of her in the near future.

Here is Zooey with Michele Trachtenberg at a Lucky magazine party on 8/10. They're legally required to pay taxes on that swag now. [via]

(Sorry I tagged that image, but it took me a whole ten minutes to make it.)

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The NY Daily News reports that Lindsay Lohan has been showing up to work on time and has cleaned up her act since receiving that scathing letter from the CEO of the production company running the film she's starring in, "Georgia Rule":

Someone close to Lindsay called the Daily News and planted this story. She needs to do serious damage control after everyone saw firsthand how she lives in messy luxurious, drunken squalor and parties with her mom.

This could be true though. There seem to be less pictures of Lindsay out and about. She's staying in surrounded by thousands of dollars worth of scattered fashion and snorting coke with her mom at night.

Here is Lohan on a a photoshoot for In Style magazine in Hollywood. Found at France-vidcaps.org via JJB.

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Kate Hudson is now said to be riding the Buttersotch stallion, her co-star Owen Wilson, which people speculate hastened the end of her marriage to Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson. Kate also made many comments suggesting that Chris was unfaithful on tour, but as long as she didn't know about it she wouldn't worry. It turns out that it's worse than that. The PopBitch e-mail newsletter claims that Chris got Kate involved in orgies and she wasn't into it:

If that's true she probably doesn't mind a little friendly tossed salad with Owen as long as he has eyes only for her.

That's sad and goes to show that it really doesn't matter how hot, rich or sweet someone is if their partner wants to cheat.

My husband and I have a theory, though, that only unattractive and/or overweight people are swingers. We saw a German "documentary" on swingers and most of them were butt ugly. This blows that theory completely out of the water.

Here is Kate Hudson in August's Allure magazine. [via]

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The implant in Pete Doherty's stomach and the love of a skinny stupid supermodel couldn't reform him no matter how much the world was rooting for his sobreity. He's been arrested for drug posession more times than I can count:

Oh that explains it! He was stopped last week and found with drugs. Now that he's back with Kate and has that drug impant we don't have to worry about him any more. Now if only he can clean up up that silly legal mess he can clear the way for their secret wedding in Ibiza this weekend.

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Elevator music performer Yanni, master of the pan flute, has a huge collection of sex toys which he delights in organizing by size, color, and penetration level. His ex-girlfriend says he cleans his vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs excessively. She also claims he takes a lot of Viagra and is a sex addict:

This same woman claimed Yanni hit her in March of this year, while he said he just grabbed her arm. Yanni spent a day in jail after the incident but all charges against him were dropped. Maybe he was just pissed off because she didn't bring him back enough sex toys for his collection. His music is so boring, he's got to spice up his life somehow.

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Everyone was saying that Halle Berry looked pregnant after those pictures came out of her in a loose dress with what looked like a baby bump. Just like Reese Witherspoon, she appears to be the victim of bloat, fashion and the wind, because these latest candids show her in a tight top and jeans with no bump whatsoever.

She made it clear in recent interviews that she wanted a kid before she was 40, and her 40th birthday was on Monday. She also said she is interested in adoption, and that “I will adopt if it doesn’t happen for me naturally.”

Here she is not looking pregnant at all while out shopping with her boyfriend, Versace model Gabriel Aubrey, 30. I like how he grabs her ass while she's walking up the stairs.

These are said to be from 8/16 and were found at Hollywood's Best.

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Award shows like The Oscars and The Emmys are going to have trouble getting celebrities to accept their swag bags. The IRS is reminding everyone that all the crap they receive, typically worth $50,000 and up, is subject to taxation. Presenters at next week's Emmy awards have to sign a statement acknowledging that they accept tax responsibility for all the gifts they receive. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences also said there will be no more skyrocketing swag bags for Oscar presenters! Oh no!

So that's why George Cooney donated his presenter gift bag. The IRS had already announced that Oscar gifts were taxable at that point, it just hadn't received much press. You're going to see a lot more press releases about celebrities donating their spa stays and luxury goods to charity, except you'll know it's not so selfless. What's Life and Style to do now that they can't market a bunch of expensive products to laypeople that celebrities get for free? Those poor luxury goos manufacturers will have to find another marketing strategy.

This affects much more than just award shows, because companies often sponsor parties for celebrities, hoping to get pictures of them posing with the free stuff. Spa suites are set up before The Oscars to get celebrities "prepared" to market more crap. Hopefully the IRS will crack down on that practice, too. What will happen to Sundance? Will celebrities stop showing up to so many events? How will celebrities cope with having to buy their own stuff? Will divas get a little more humble?

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- Katie Holmes goes shopping and looks pretty happy and non-brainwashed for once. Maybe she really can act. [Hot Momma Drama]
- What the hell is going on in this questionable picture? (sorta NSWF, but I dunno) [El Manaba]
- Kelly Clarkson got plastered and played air guitar on stage [Glitterati]
- Samuel L. Jackson on "The Daily Show": "Snakes on a Plane" opens Friday [Popoholic]
- Penelope Cruz nip slip [PopSugar]
- Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger still pissed off at the world, or maybe just the paparrazi [Celebrity-Moms]
- Ace Ventura: Pet Detective 3 featuring Ace's son is coming out. Yes it is. [Pajiba]
- Panty creamer of the day: Channing Tatum [DListed]
- Play in a celebrity fantasy league at Fafarazzi and bet on gossip. Warning: it's addictive! [Fafarazzi]
- Brandon Davis is still drunk, still beating the "Firecrotch" dead horse [IDLYITW]
- Uma Thurman and her ginormous natural rack at the beach [Bastardly]
- Jessica Simpson fires her agent when she should have just fired her dad. [Socialite's Life]
- Britney tells K-Fed to get rid of his pet sharks [Mollygood]
- Kate Bosworth vs. Nicole Richie for most skeletal pseudo-celebrity [I'm not obsessed]
- Owen Wilson is licking Kate Hudson's butt. [yeeeah]
- We're not the only ones who think Jennifer Garner is pregnant again [CityRag]
- David Hasselhoff gets charged $7 to visit his old Baywatch set [Agent Bedhead]

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Pamela Anderson has made it clear that she wants to have more kids. Now that she's married to Kid Rock, she's even dropped hints that they're either trying or that she's already pregnant. When asked after the wedding by Ryan Seacrest if she wanted kids, she said "You never know there might be one in there now."

It looks like there is one in there - check out how her stomach is poking out. She even forgot to wear shoes, which may be a secret signal to the paparrazi that she's barefoot and pregnant.

Pam has two children by her ex, rocker Tommy Lee, Dylan, 8 and Brandon, 10. Kid Rock has a son, Robert James Ritchie Jr., 13, with a Detroit auto worker.

Pam is seen outside a veterinarian's office, but where's her pet? Check out the LA chick in the background with the bemused look.

Pictures found at Hollywoods Best, and taken by X17, who pointed out the bump.

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Jennifer Aniston swears up and down that she's not engaged to Vince Vaughn. Us Weekly stands by its story that she is engaged and cites a bunch of stories that celebrities denied but ended up being true. The first commentor notes that it's pretty convenient selective reasoning on their part. Of course there are hits and misses in the messy, often-fabricated world of celebrity gossip.

Perez Hilton claims to know from an insider that Aniston was actually engaged to Vaughn and that US was right, but now she's totally dumped while Vaughn is partying in Vegas and hitting on chicks. That sounds like a plausible explanation for Aniston's vehement denial:

There you go. It looks like everyone is right, Us and Aniston. Is it surprising that Vaughn and Aniston broke up? They didn't even want to be photographed together.

Here is Aniston running into Kate Hudson at the airport and giving her some bad divorce advice. [via]

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Britney shows that maternity wear is hard to shop for by wearing the same red striped shorts out again in a visit to the studio with Sean Preston and cute manny Perry in tow yesterday. You think she could mail order if she doesn't want to go through the trouble of trying stuff on.

She said recently that her second child wasn't planned, but considering how K-Fed gets paid extra in the prenup for every kid he fathers you know that at least one of them was planning on getting her pregnant again:

She also said in the interview that she has a lot of pregnancy cravings and that she'll melt an entire big Hershey's bar in the microwave and eat it in the middle of the night. When I was pregnant I still tried to eat right. I mean ice cream once in a while is ok, but if you're using the microwave in order to inject more calories that's really dangerous. Jared Leto gained all that weight to play Lennon's killer by melting down Haagen Das ice cream and drinking it. Yuck.

K-Fed said that once the baby is born Britney is someone going to change her terrible habits and get skinny so that he can release his album featuring her famous vocals. He also said that Britney played "games" with him when they first started going out to see if he was just in it for the money.

That's smart of K-Fed to take advantage of Britney for her talent as well as her money. He might not be talented at music, but he sure has healthy sperm.

Pictures from Breatheheavy.com and probably taken by x17, as they like to remind me. (And I do appreciate being able to use their pictures without fear of litigation.)

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Here's poor little rich whore Lindsay Lohan on sitting on a mattress at the Chateau Marmot surrounded by luxury goods while sipping on a bottle of Jack Daniels and wearing a fur coat. There's even a pile 'o coke and a little silver spoon visible in the background. Pictures are, obviously, from Perez Hilton.

At least Lindsay does her fur-wearing behind doors.

These aren't too scandalous, considering that Lindsay was photographed with a bong in the background in photos that came out a few months ago.

The Sun claims that Lindsay wasdenied VIP tickets to an upcoming Justin Timberlake concert because it's feared she'll get wasted and make a spectacle of herself. I would say I doubt that's true, but given these pictures I'm more apt to believe it.

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A new article in Life and Style claims that as Richie Sambora and Heather Locklear's high-profile divorce is close to reaching a settlement, Richie is having second thoughts and realizes how much he loves his wife of 11 years. He even sent a $500 pink and red rose bouquet to Heather.

Wow. He must realize what he's missing with Heather. Sambora was said to be totally surprised to be served divorce papers this February and even denied to the press that he and Heather were split. Maybe he's not ready to let go.

If that's true, it's got to piss off his media-whore girlfriend, Denise Richards. Denise recently reached an amicable "interim" settlement with her ex, Charlie Sheen, who she famously skewered in the press on the eve of his children's clothing line launch. Denise didn't renew a restraining order against Sheen and according to their lawyers they're getting along.

Denise and Richie were said to be planning a wedding for early next year, and Denise was seen wearing what looked like an engagement ring. She followed Richie to Europe while he was touring with Bon Jovi and seemed really needy in the relationship. If this is true then he's obviously sick of her. Men don't usually like women who hang all over them.

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Hey, does Christina Aguilera have a new album out? She seems to be everywhere lately. The NY Times says that "Back to Basics," Aguilera's new double album, is half-good half-bad. The lyrics reveal XTina's fight to stay at the top and are an attempt explain to the world why she looks like a blowup doll and is such a pain in the ass:

In this interview on Good Morning America yesterday, XTina tells the same old childhood abuse story as if she's practiced it for ages. She seems genuinely excited about her new album and how she craftily copped it off the jazz greats of the 30s and 40s, though. Somewhere underneath all that arrogance and makeup she really does love music.

She also reveals that she gave Britney a basket of gender neutral baby gifts when she heard she was pregnant, and that Britney sent her a crystal vase and a crystal drink bucket as a wedding present.

Thanks to ONTD for the video link. Also thanks to readers Karen and Jess for letting me know that I fell for Aguilera's sob story in an earlier article I posted about it.

Here is Aguilera leaving the Koko club on an unknown date in a see-through dress. I think I've seen these before, but maybe that was a different sheer black dress. Even totally wasted, Aguilera manages to keep her lipstick and makeup perfectly applied. Maybe one of her minions helps her with that. [via]

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Mel Gibson might have sought treatment in an inpatient facility and checked out, he might be getting some sort of addiction therapy as his publicist claims, or maybe he's just laying low and hoping this whole mess will blow over. Whatever Mel is doing, he's not in rehab:

Mel doesn't care. Maybe he didn't go to rehab because the philosophy of recovery contradicted his freaky cult religion. It could be possible that he figures his career is over anyway and just doesn't give a shit.

Have you seen the best Mel Gibson political cartoons we posted? They're priceless. I hope one of the artists now tackles Mel's lack of commitment to rehab.

Here are some of the pictures from Mel's famous night out that you've already seen.

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- Japanese Paris Hilton Doll For You! [Gallery of the Absurd]
- Paris Hilton voted most overrated person by Guinness book of World Records [Celebguru]
- Paris Hilton has enormous feet [Blog NYC]
- Jessica Biel has an enormous butt [yeeeah]
- That picture of Prince Harry grabbing that chick's boob was three years old [Agent Bedhead]
- Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson? [Wizbang Pop!]
- Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams hate the paparrazi [IDLYITW]
- Ben Affleck also hates the paparrazi [A Socialite's Life]
- Avril Lavigne is a powerful Canadian [Hollywood Tuna]
- Drew Barrymore threw a toga party [Mollygood]
- Victoria Silvstedt is still with that troll guy - and she's got a husband! [Bastardly]
- Paris Hilton is a promotion machine [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- "I'll Always Know What you Did Last Summer" reveals the link between boob size and character survival [Pajiba]
- Cardinal Calls For Madonna To Be Excommunicated (as if she wouldn't love the publicity) [Glitterati]
- James Woods 20 year-old ex-girlfriend is really evil [La.comfidential]
- James Woods is really creepy for having a 20 year-old ex-girlfriend [CityRag]
- Arrest made in JonBenet Ramsey case [DListed]

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Courteney Cox says that Jennifer Aniston is a great friend that she can rely on in a crisis:

Cox recently revealed that she had some trouble in her marriage to funnyman David Arquette and that they wisely sought counseling to straighten it out.

She also adamantly denies that Aniston is engaged to Vaughn:

I bet Vaughn and Aniston are broken up already. Either that or they're fighting constantly. Neither of them look happy together in the rare paparrazi photos that come out.

Star reports that Aniston and Vaughn are having trouble because Aniston doesn't want kids, but that's probably just speculation.

Here's some pictures of sourpuss Aniston sunbathing on her deck. [via]

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Britain's The Independent has a thoughtful article about Charlize Theron's career. They say that there will always be younger, prettier actresses in Hollywood and that Charlize really hasn't hit it big despite winning an Oscar and scoring more serious roles. She's stuck in between sweet young things like Scarlet Johansson and more seasoned actresses like Nicole Kidman:

The Independent is nitpicking Theron's career. She's achieved a level of success that everyone else only dreams about. She'll reach Kidman's status. In fact she's almost there now.

So let's move on to these recent pictures of Theron forgetting to wear a bra when she's out with her mom. [via] If The Independent is right and she hasn't yet found her niche, do you think she's trying to tell us something by going out like that? Also, isn't it curious that she holds her coat in her left hand, covering her ring finger, while holding her mom's hand with her right?

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Lindsay Lohan claims that "Sex and the City" is the inspiration for her sluttiness, and that if 2 out of 4 fictional characters on a cable show can sleep around, she can too:

Did she really say this? That's fucking crazy. Those are women on a cable show, not real people. Granted this was probably taken out of context, but WTF?

Lohan admits to having a double standard with the men she dates, and said some crap about how she can sleep around but they can't.

The girl needs to wear a bra and stay in and watch some documentaries. No fiction films, because she'll use anything she sees on screen to justify her outrageous lifestyle.

Pictures found at Hollywood's Best and taken by X17. I know you've already seen them, but these versions are sort of high res.

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Along with probably jumping the gun on the Victoria Beckham pregnancy news, Britain's Daily Star also claims to have an exclusive that Kate Moss, 32, and Pete Doherty, 27, are planning a semi-secret wedding in Ibiza this weekend:

This isn't the first time Pete has bragged that he's planning on marrying Kate Moss. Back in early April he told fellow revellers at an Austrian porn club that he and Kate had plans to marry in Scotland this fall. Their relationship fell apart afterwards, and those plans may have been real, or they might have been the meaningless ramblings of a drug addict.

It's entirely possible that The Daily Star made this news up or that Pete is just talking out of his ass and this will never happen. Kate has been spotted with an engagement ring on her finger, though. Her friends deny that she's engaged and say it's her own ring.

If they do get married, I give it less time than Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney's marriage. They've been reunited this third time, what, a week?

Engagement ring picture from PopSugar.

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Britain's Daily Star says that Victoria Beckham is pregnant with her fourth child. She has spoken opening about wanting a big family, and it was said that she was trying for a girl.

Her ultra-hot husband, Real Madrid soccer player David Beckham, was said to have put Posh on a carb-rich diet to encourage her to "fatten up" in preparation to become pregnant again. She doesn't look to have gained much weight, though.

Posh and Beck have three boys: Brooklyn, 6, Romeo, nearly 4, and Cruz, one and a half, all born by cesarean section. Victoria has said that if she has a girl she would like to name her "Luna." That's not so bad for a celebrity baby name.

Here are pictures of Victoria and David Beckham at Nice airport on 8/14. She's wearing a loose top, but she doesn't look like she has a bump yet. [via]

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I am trying to convert this blog from Movable Type to the much more manageable Wordpress. If I'm lucky, there should be no service outages, and it should look and work just about the same, with some minor differences. If things are a little quiet around here for the next couple of days, that's why, although I'll do my best to keep you up to date on the essential gossip.

- Prince Harry grabs a drunk woman's breasts [Pretend Pundit]
- The Bastardly Debate: The link between anal sex and virginity [Bastardly]
- Video of Boy George cleaning up NY [Best Week Ever]
- Matt Lauer's wife expecting their third child [Blogging Baby]
- Kimbo Stewart is a barefoot Hollywood hooker [Chic Mommy]
- Is Nicole Richie's friend saving her or drowning her? [Mollygood]
- Alicia Keys made her boyfriend wait a year to have sex with her [Concrete Loop]
- Video of Jessica Simpson trying to look sexy and failing miserably [Egotastic]
- Jessica Simpson never said Nick Lachey had an eeny-weeny weiner, but everyone assumes it [Faded Youth]
- Baby Kingston Rossdale and his parents [Hot Momma Drama]
- Jenna Jameson pulls out of the lingerie bowl [IDLYITW]
- Rick James has a kick-ass headstone [Agent Bedhead]
- Uma Thurman and her kids on the beach [ICUDK]
- Wentworth Miller in Details Magazine [Oh La La Paris]
- Courteney Cox and Tim Allen's new movie, Zoom, is so bad that a seasoned film critic walked out [Pajiba]
- Drew Barrymore says she wants children. In celebrity-speak, this means she's already pregnant or is desperately trying [I'm not obsessed]
- Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are in peace talks [Socialite's Life]

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The NY Post's Cindy Adams reports that a long-rumored "Friends" reunion is now in the works, and that holdout Jennifer Aniston finally agreed to it:

A while ago it was rumored that Lisa Kudrow said that "one of the guys" was holding up the reunion after Kathleen Turner let it slip that she was approached to reprise her role as Chandler's mom, but then Kudrow denied that a reunion was in the works.

Now that Cindy Adams has reported it, it's probably true, and I can't wait! I love that show, although it's hard to watch now that I have such a poor opinion of Aniston. She must have realized how much she owes to "Friends" and maybe she'll be grateful to the show for making her famous.

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Today I read somewhere that Katie Holmes went to a Hollywood party without Tom where the rule was "no guests," but that she brought a Scientology handler who wouldn't let her out of her sight. People said that Katie looked "dead in the eyes" and that everyone was talking about her. I looked through my browser history and did a google search and I cannot for the life of me figure out where I read this article. Did I dream it up? Is it old news? If you've seen this article, please comment here with the link.

Sorry for the half-story without a link, but I did read that and tried to figure out where I found it for about 20 minutes. That is forever in Internet time.

Here are some new pictures of Tom and Katie outside a stadium in Salt Lake City, Utah. They were in Utah to see Beckham play soccer and could have possibly stopped to see if that couple involved in an accident was hurt, and we reported yesterday, but it still sounds like a PR stunt to me.

Update Thanks to the commentor who pointed me to Perez Hilton's site for the news. Katie did attend a girls-only party with a Scientology guard. Creepy!

Tom and Katie are also shown backstage at Cirque du Soleil on May 3rd. Thanks to Pink is the New Blog and KatieHolmes.com for these pics.

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Brad Pitt is now back in LA filming Oceans 13, tentatively subtitled "any excuse to see Pitt, Damon and Clooney onscreen together, even if Ellen Barkin is in it," and he's been bringing Maddox and Zahara with him to work! Pitt is taking advantage of the on-set daycare.

That's cute! I wish they had daycare where my husband works.

Meanwhile these new pics on the Oceans set came out. There were just low-res versions before, but these huge pictures of the guys on set are making me swoon! There are plenty of pictures of Damon's cute butt too! Thanks to Simply Brad for the pics.

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Eva Longoria's diarrhea mouth is at it again. I usually don't report on the crap she says because every few days there's a new quote that shows how arrogant and/or horny she is. This one is too juicy not to report: she says she wants to get it on with a woman:

That's hot and all, Eva, but cheating is cheating, and you don't get a pass just because it's a woman.

Eva and Tony Parker are not going to last. She's saying crap like this because she's bored in her relationship. She said earlier that she was the teacher and he was her sex student, then she tried to take it back by talking even more crap which just made it worse.

What I want to know is why women can brag about wanting to sleep with other women but it's still off limits for men to say they want a gay experience.

Here is Eva out with her dog for lunch on 8/11. [via]

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- Now that Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson have split, do you think she'll cut her kid's hair? [Mollygood]
- Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban buy a place in Vermont [I'm not obsessed]
- Boy George cleans up garbage in NY [Hollywood Rag]
- Laguna Beach series 3 trailer [You Tube]
- Happy 40th birthday Halle Berry. So, are you pregnant? [Haute Gossip]
- K-Fed starts his own record label [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- K-Fed gets a payoff for every kid he has with Britney [PopSugar]
- The Lohan Entertainment Mafia expands [Wizbang Pop]
- Angelina Jolie and her mom [CityRag]
- Lindsay Lohan vs. Tara Reid for the title of Queen Frakenboob [Blog NYC]
- Denise Richards calls the paparrazi to let them know she'll be in a bikini [Bricks and Stones]
- Jessica Simpson performs for her core fanbase [CelebGuru]
- Meryl Streep and Kevin Kline's new play is not a crowd pleaser [Celebrific]
- Paris Hilton celebrates Firecrotch day [yeeeah]
- The coolest David Hasselhoff photo ever [The Bastardly]

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Being the king of sexy means that you're also the daddy of a lot of expensive kids. Diddy has two children by two different women for which he pays a whopping $50,000 a month in child support. A woman in Atlanta claims that Diddy fathered her newborn, and the hip hop and fashion mogul reportedly took a paternity test last week. Now it's rumored that Diddy's longterm girlfriend, Kim Porter, is pregnant with the couple's second child:

Sure he'll propose to her - once the prenup is drawn up all nice and tight. While Kim was said to have turned a blind eye to Diddy's cheating, she was said to be mighty pissed that he fathered another baby outside of their relationship. We'll have to see if news of Diddy's illegitimate baby gets out, and if it keeps him from marrying pregnant Kim.

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Jennifer Garner only fuels those persistent rumors that she's pregnant again when she wears tops like this. This suspicious outfit coupled with the news that she fainted recently on the set of her new movie make it seem like she's carrying little Violet's sibling. I'm probably wrong, though, and she's just shy about her stomach. She looks gorgeous as ever wearing a loose top in these pictures taken in LA at the W Hotel on July 16th. [via]

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I take back what I said about Nicole Richie gaining a little bit a weight. She may have put on a few essential pounds a couple of weeks ago, but she looks like death warmed over again in these latest shots on the beach.

Keira Knightley is also taking the anorexic look a little too far. While she claims she's doesn't have the disorder, there's no way she's eating well if her chest looks like this.

Britain's Daily Mail reports that Nicole broke into tears and wailed "I have a disease" when a photographer told her to gain some weight. I really doubt that happened, but she is thinner than she was just a few weeks ago. The British rag sounds the alarm about the two young paparrazi-targets' weight:

Here are the pictures in question, found at Hollywood's Best. X17 took the ones of Nicole on the beach.

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Suri was said to have attended the birthday party of Jada Pinkett and Will Smith's son, Jaden, but there are no pictures and the wording of the description given by the supposed eyewitness is suspect. They use the same description of the baby that we've heard before "dark, curly hair," "no physical deformities," and "looks like Tom." It could be because that's how the baby actually looks, or because someone is feeding these lines to the press.

Does this sound true to you?

Meanwhile Katie and Tom are said to have "comforted accident victims" when they stopped to check on a couple after they were involved in a crash:

I don't believe any of this. What's wrong with me? Everything about Tom and Katie seems like it's fake to me and I have trouble buying this story.

The person who posted this story on Oh No They Didn't, Chung Chung, says "I call bullshit," and that he/she remembers a similar story coming out about Tom helping an accident victim about ten years ago. If it was Matthew McConaughey, I would say it's true, but Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? I doubt it.

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Madonna knows what she's good at, and now she plans to stick to it. The super-fit geriatric Jewish queen of pop can't act for shit and she's finally admitted it:

By saying it's already "dead in the water," she may have been making a sneaky reference to that terrible film that doomed her husband's career, "Swept Away." People say her films suck not because she's in them, but because they've actually seen them and she can't act. Her acting is wooden and forced, and that's smart of her to stick with what she knows - writhing around on stage and pissing off the Christians.

Here's Madonna in concert in Rome on August 6th. Looks like the pope missed a fabulous show. [via]

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I've come to the conclusion that British celebrities are dumber in love than their American counterparts. This is a gross overgeneralization based on Jude Law and Sienna Miller's foolish on-again off-again relationship, and Kate Moss' inexplicable draw to drug-addled Jaguar-wrecking Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty. Just last week Pete had to resort to getting an implant in his stomach to help him kick his love of most every type of drug, and that's good enough for lonely Kate, who was seen making out with him in public. Hopefully he took her money to get his nasty teeth fixed.

On Pete and Kate's big night out Pete was seen puking in a women's bathroom before wrecking the stage while performing with his band. Britian's Sunday Mirror says that taking drugs with a drug implant in your stomach will do that to 'ya:

It will take more than a little device or drug scandal to change Pete and Kate.

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Natalie Portman is going to appear nude in the upcoming "Goya's Ghost," and she's auditioning to play a hooker in another movie so she probably doesn't care that you can see her nipples through this top she's wearing. She also shot some nude scenes for "Closer" in 2004 which were cut from the film.

Paris Hilton shows up for every event, has a sex video out and has had scores of nip and vag slips yet she refuses to appear nude on screen. Who do you think people have more respect for, Paris or Natalie?

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I wrote Snopes.com to ask them to fact check this story, because it sounds like complete bullshit to me, but Paris Hilton is said to have purchased a cemetary plot next to Marilyn Monroe for a "Billy Hilton," which was initially thought to be a poorly named deceased relative. It turned out that Billy was her goat. Someone made this shit up, but it's pretty funny:

This simply can't be true. I did a half-assed google search, and it seems to have originated with a press release, which also claimed that Paris booked a gospel choir to perform at a funeral. Just like the rumor that Will Ferrell died in a freak para-gliding accident, someone cooked up a joke press release and now the dumber news services are picking it up.

Paris might have a whole zoo full of animals, but it's doubtful she loves her goat this much, or even knows where Marilyn Monroe is buried.

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The Mel Gibson story may be fading from the headlines, but the memory of the uber-rich religious director's anti-semitic outburst won't leave our collective consciousness for years. He's going to be the punchline, the scapegoat, and box office poison for a while. (And C-List actors will keep bringing him up to either support or scorn, whatever suits their publicity needs.)

Cagle.com has lots of clever political cartoons about the Mel Gibson incident. Mel's career in film and his multiple over-the-top apologies provide plenty of fodder to make fun of him.

Each of the following artists granted permission to post their work here.

Peter Lewis, Australia
Lewisart.biz

Adam Zyglis Buffalo, NY
The Buffalo News
www.adamzyglis.com

Grumpy Old Indian Man Stokholm, Sweden
goyim.wordpress.com

Michael de Adder, Halifax, Nova Scotia
The Daily News
www.deadder.net

R.J. Matson, NY
The New York Observer and Roll Call
rjmatson.com

Mike Lester, Rome, GA
Rome News-Tribune
www.mikedujour.com

Doug Marlette, FL
Tulsa World
dougmarlette.com

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A friend who runs another gossip blog recently asked me how I host such huge images on my site without eating up all the bandwidth at my hosting company. I told her that I use PhotoBucket to host all the images on Celebitchy. I heard about it from The Bastardly, who also uses it.

It turns out that Celebitchy eats up a lot of bandwidth at PhotoBucket, and they sent me a really courteous e-mail asking if I'd like to join their affiliate program. (They could have complained, charged more, or threatened to shut down my account for violating the terms of service - and those nude Paris Hilton lookalike photos did violate the terms of service, but instead they didn't even mention that and were so normal and nice about it.)

PhotoBucket has great free accounts, which is how I started out with them, and their premium account, the one that I use, is only $25 a year with unlimited bandwidth and lots of storage. It's convenient and easy to use for hosting personal photos, images for your website, and even videos. I can't recommend them highly enough. If you sign up for a free account it helps me out, so give it a try if you need a photo hosting solution. Thanks!

Here are Friday night's links. Have a great weekend everyone:

- WTF is Mischa Barton wearing? [PopSugar]
- WTF is Justin Timberlake wearing? [I'm not obsessed]
- WTF is Kelly Osbourne wearing? [popbytes]
- Photos of Nicole Richie in her dad Lionel Richie's new video. [Mollygood]
- Scoop is more of the same from perv Woodie Allen, or maybe he's being self-referential. Whatever. [Pajiba]
- Porn star Mary Carey is running against Arnold Schwarzenegger again [yeeeah]
- One of Nicole Richie's mystery men (the weird one) is Whitestarr drummer Alex Robinson [Hot Momma Drama]
- The Britney bearskin rug sculptor now takes on Hillary Clinton in a bra [CelebGuru]
- New raunchy photoshoot for David and Victoria Beckham's fragrance. [Oh La La Paris]
- Eva Mendes and her new guy, who really likes her boobs [Bastardly]
- Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are buying property in Wayne, Illinois. [A Socialite's Life]
- Star Jones is the most hated television personality [Agent Bedhead]
- Kayne West is engaged [Juicy News]
- Dina Lohan thinks she's the "White Oprah" [DListed]
- What's wrong with Kiera Knightley's chest? [Gabsmash]

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My BFF hairdresser back in the states, Ken, also went to cosmetology school. He did me up a few times before we went out and I looked incredible if I do say so myself. Makeup does wonders. It's a shame I'm not rich or I would fly him over here to hang out and make me look gorgeous every day. Access to top-notch makeup and hair experts is one of the major advantages of being a celebrity. (That and not having to deal with all the bullshit at the airport. Now we can't even bring our own water or books onto a plane. Do you think that makes us safer, because it seems like exactly the sort of thing that would please the terrorists. I'm just saying.)

Renee Zellweger (the before picture could be from "Bridget Jones")

Tori Spelling - ouch!

Kate Hudson - adorable

Pam Anderson - not bad

Thanks to Cherryjam at JJB for posting this and creating the pictures.

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Scarlet Johansson and Josh Hartnett are said to have bought a $6 million loft in New York City - and to have requested extra soundproofing around their bedroom:

Scarlet and Josh lived together in Josh's Tribeca apartment from about December of last year until late March, when Scarlet is said to have spent $2 million on her own Tribeca condo. They've tried to keep a low-profile relationship, and that's great news that they're moving in together and giving it another try.

It could be true that just Scarlet's buying the place, but if she's requesting a soundproof bedroom there's got to be a good reason.

Here is Scarlet playing a journalist in "Scoop" with Woody Allen and hot Hugh Jackman. [via]

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There's this "In Brief" section of Celebitchy that I don't update enough because I'm usually focusing on the main blog. Instead of trashing it or just leaving it with old news, I'll update it and post the latest news on the main blog.

Lindsay Lohan's Stalker
Lindsay Lohan has a stalker who's been sending her letters and flowers. Staff on "Georgia Rule" was alerted to his existence and asked to be extra-vigilant in case Lindsay decided to show up for filming that day. [TMZ]

Michael Clarke Duncan lost weight pretending to be a farmer
Michael Clarke Duncan, the big guy who played the miracle worker in "The Green Mile," lost 90 pounds by strapping a 100 pound tire to his waist and running around. He also used a sledgehammer to pound away at stuff. Someone should have made this into a reality TV special, because I really would have enjoyed watching it. [Starpulse]

Carmen Electra files for divorce
Carmen Electra has officially filed for divorce from Dave Navarro. The two were married for 2 years and 8 months. Dave is now said to be dating former porn star Jenna Jameson. [People]

George Clooney was suicidal
George Clooney said he felt suicidal while filming his Oscar-winning performance in Syriana. He gained 38 pounds for the role and went through a series of personal tragedies that left him in a deep depression. [Hollyscoop]

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Jennifer Garner was in Arizona filming in 110 degree heat when she collapsed and fainted. Husband Ben Affleck rushed to be by her side, and flew from Boston to be with her as soon as he heard the news:

That's terrible and I hope that Garner is ok. She's one of my favorite actresses.

This just gets me thinking, though, that she could be pregnant again. It was rumored that she was pregnant, but people say she's just having trouble losing that last little bit of baby weight, and Ben's cousin told Celebrity Baby Blog that she's definitely not pregnant. Still, Angelina fainted at the airport way back when and it turns out that she was in the early stages of her pregnancy. I'm just saying.

Here is Garner in an unknown photoshoot found at Jen-Fans.com.

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Paris Hilton's monkey is tired of being an accessory to her bad style. He took a chunk out her arm, sending the ditzy heiress to the hospital to receive a tetanus shot.

TMZ has a video of Paris holding the agitated kinkajou, Baby Luv, while describing the incident where she had to take a limo with all her animals in the back because the airline refused to transport them.

Paris' publicist really earns his money if he's going over to her house in the middle of the night to take her to the hospital. Doesn't she have a friend or throwaway lover who could do that for her?

Maybe the monkey just wanted to do Paris a favor and keep her from going out in an outfit like this. She is seen in a satin top and pants like the kind you wear to bed while wearing a red belt across her ribs. At least her purse, belt, and shoes coordinate. WTF? Look at the people behind her - they're totally making fun of her.

Pictures taken on 8/9 by X17 and found at Hollywood's Best.

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Nicole Richie has been seen out with toned legs, suggesting she's been eating a little bit and using the leg press at the gym. She's also been photographed with two different mystery guys, one semi-hot and one weird.

Now comes news that she got wasted at a party with an out of control Mary-Kate Olsen and proceeded to puke all over the floor. Nicole didn't miss a step, though, and continued right on as if nothing had happened.

At least have the decency to go into the bathroom to puke. The few times in college I drank to the point of no return I somehow managed to make it into the bathroom in time. Of course I had more body tissue to absorb all that booze. Nicole probably has the alcohol tolerance of a child. (I was going to say toddler, but thought that sounded sick.)

Here is lovely Ms. Skin 'n Bones filming a segment with Tyra Banks for her talkshow. Commenters on JJB note that her head looks huge and it seems to be "carrying all 80 pounds of her," that she's "gonna have so many health problems in a few years," and that "she's already bald." What with drinking so much and not eating, it's not much of a stretch to think she'll have health problems. At least she gained a smidgeon of weight.

Thanks to Hollywoods Best for these pictures.

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So these far-away pictures of a supposed baby Suri where published on X17online, and I found myself reading all the comments on JustJared. I'm rather fascinated by the sordid baby Suri story, and personally believe that something incredibly fishy is going on. Like the pictures of the Loch Ness Monster (which some claim were just the trunks of submerged circus elephants bathing in the Loch) all is not what it seems. There's something ominous and creepy about these photographs and they look staged.

Here are my favorite comments, organized by category, from JustJared.

These pictures are really fucking creepy, and make it seem like Katie is trapped

The Baby is too big. It's older than they claim or it's a doll:

These pictures are staged:

It's wrong to peep into the Cruise's mansion:

About the conspiracy:

Whatever's going on, these creepy ass pictures don't clear it up!

Meanwhile the Beckhams have been invited to see the miracle changeling in person, but the list of rules are weird as hell. Maybe by inviting the Beckhams and telling them they can't touch, photograph or talk to the baby, Cruise's camp hopes to explain why the poor thing hasn't seen the light of day.

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- His Holiness and Madonna do H&M. [Grumpy Old Indian Man]
- Madonna's arms make people throw up, and her shirt is just a tad bit offensive to some [BlogNYC]
- Look - it's a blur that could be Baby Suri! [Mollygood]
- The Beckhams have been invited to the Cruise compound to see "Baby" Suri [Celeb News Wire]
- "World Trade Center" is a decent heartwrenching film, but maybe Charlie Sheen should have starred. [Pajiba]
- Will Ferrell wants some paparrazi love. [Gabsmash]
- Brooke Hogan looking like Brigitte Nielsen, but with more expensive teeth [Glitterati]
- Keira Knightly had a rough day of not eating [The Bastardly]
- David Beckham urges stick thin Posh to eat something so he can sow his seed again [Agent Bedhead]
- Britney Spear's bitter pool boy [Bricks and Stones]
- Bryce Dallas Howard is pregnant and glowing [I'm not obsessed]
- Nicole Richie looks thrilled to be shopping with Tyra Banks [Hot Momma Drama]
- Leonardio DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire at the beach [A Socialite's Life]
- Val Kilmer is fatman. [smart]
- Christina Milian was on TRL yesterday, and nobody knows why [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- Paris Hilton acts smart [yeeeah]
- Heidi Klum gets naked again [Celebguru]

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Britney Spears has shown the world how gullible she is by giving her husband an American Express Black card, also known as the Centurion. An invitation-only card with a hefty $2,500 annual fee, the Centurion gives holders automatic first class flight upgrades on all airlines and offers access to airport clubs and personal shoppers at luxury stores. It features a personal concierge and travel agent. If you can think it up, you can probably get it with an AmEx black card.

In the 1980s tales of the "Black" no-limit American Express card were just urban legends, but Amex responded to the black card lore and decided to offer it to high rollers. Now rappers name-drop it in songs, and uber-rich people have the opportunity to go deeper in debt than they ever dreamed possible.

By giving K-Fed access to her Amex Centurion, Britney is essentially letting him empty any bank account he wishes. He has the opportunity to spend lots of money in a very short time with a single phone call. Here's what people have done with the Centurion card:

Hey maybe AmEx can help K-Fed with his rapping career! He should call them up now that the black card is in his posession. They seem capable of hooking people up with just about anything.

Seriously, though, Britney is trusting her fortune to a guy who has a custom Ferrari worth more than a quarter of a million dollars, and a Maserati worth at least six figures. He also reportedly bought a $30,000 watch without asking Britney. Now is that the kind of person you would trust with your money?

Here's Britney dropping off a mini Escalade at her recording studios for Sean Preston to play with while she's there, and Kevin getting a haircut and pumping gas. Sean Preston, 11 months, took his first steps in Las Vegas last week. So now he must be old enough to drive a car, right?

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I'm sorry for two Lindsay Lohan stories today, but I just couldn't resist this latest news. Page Six is reporting that Lindsay Lohan is just about to get kicked out of her digs at the Chateau Marmont hotel. Hotel staff are annoyed at her comings and goings at all hours of the night:

Lindsay shocked her accountants by running up a $1,000,000 bill at the Chateau Marmount last year. Why doesn't she just buy a house? There was another story that Lindsay spent another million on clothing alone when she easily could have been comped many of the luxury brands she wears.

There's also a report from a "Herbie: Fully Loaded" crew member that claims that Lindsay was as much of a lazy brat on that set as she's been publically chastized for on her latest film.

The way Lindsay is going she's going to spend all her cash on purses and hotel rooms and will have such a bad reputation in the industry that she won't be able to get another job. Maybe she gets her drugs for free though.

Here's Lindsay having a little upskirt accident and shopping. [via] and [via

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Diddy seems to think that he owns the common adjective "sexy" and that he alone holds the rights. He said he is the true "King of Sexy" and that he let Justin Timberlake "borrow" the term for his latest CD:

Victoria's Secret must have called up Diddy before the launch of their Very Sexy bras to make sure he approved of their use of the word. Or maybe they're paying him royalties.

Oh wait - I dated a patent attorney a while ago, and I think the way it works is that you only have rights to a trademark within a certain industry. In that case Diddy is the sole "sexy" singer and Timberlake indeed needs to bow to him in order to call himself sexy. All other professions and industries can be sexy without Diddy's approval.

Timberlake album cover found at Cake and Ice Cream. Diddy pictures from yeeeah. The last few photos of Justin Timberlake are high resolution from an Observer photo shoot found at TimberlakeNow.net.

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Oscar winner Charlize Theron and her boyfriend of five years, Irish actor Stuart Townsend, are said to have had a spat while out a Hollywood restaurant last week. The Mirror reports that Charlize showed up 45 minutes late for dinner and that Stuart lectured her for it in front of their embarassed friends:

This might have happened, but The Mirror lost all credibility for me when they claimed Nicole Kidman was out at a party when she was really outside the Creative Artists offices.

I wouldn't be surprised if they only information they had is that Charlize was late to dinner while her boyfriend and their friends waited.

What I want to know is when are these two getting married? They had some trouble back in March, with reports that they had broken up, but now that they're back together and supposedly doing fine it's about time Townsend popped the question. Charlize has been wearing what looks like an engagement ring on her left ring finger, so these two may be engaged already.

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I'm not saying that Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConaughey are anything more than hot, sweaty friends who like to do sports together and hang out shirtless on beaches in Miami. Let's just imagine that these two are actually lovers and make the bold move to come out, though. It would be difficult for them to admit, but they would be applauded for it, and "straight" men everywhere might see that it's not so bad to switch to the other side. Hell if top actors and athletes can do it, it must not be that taboo. At first it would be a big scandal, but then everyone would say how brave they are to admit it.

This will never happen because it would jeopardize McConaughey's career playing the hot sporty guy in every crappy romantic comedy. He's even signed on to do a new one with Kate Hudson. They're going to play a divorced couple looking for treasure in "Fool's Gold." Sounds fabulous:

In related news, Jake Gyllenhaal has been confirmed to play the role of Lance Armstrong in an upcoming biopic about the seven-time Tour de France winner's life. Matt Damon was originally slated for the role:

I wonder how Gyllenhaal landed that role.

Here are Lance and Matt on the beach. Thanks to DListed for these pictures.

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Lindsay Lohan just can't slow down. The girl loves talking about herself, and she really likes looking at herself too. She told I-d Magazine that she doesn't read the tabloids, but she does look at her own pictures. Big surprise:

One of those "things" is put out a book of photographs of herself and her friends, including Karl Lagerfeld, who she brags about knowing, She talks about charity, too, but it's doubtful she'll ever get to it with all the other crap she's planning:

She goes on to talk about her plans to visit Iraq while channeling Marilyn Monroe.

This girl is so full of shit. She admitted as much this week by saying that she "says things that aren't true a lot." That's called lying, Lindsay! Is everyone else as sick of this girl's bullshit as I am?

Britain's The Sun reports that Lindsay plans to open a tattoo parlor in LA! Let's hope this isn't true:

Lindsay, girl, slow down. You're going to burn out more than your voice.

Here is Lindsay in I-d Magazine, courtesy of Linds-Lo.com

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Over 3 million people tuned in to watch Flava Flav look for love again amongst a catfighting harem on the debut of "Flavor of Love" this Sunday on Vh1. The big scandal was "Somethin" taking a crap on the stairs. Producers undoubtedly put her up to it. "Pumkin" claims that she spit in "New York's" face last season at the suggestion of the producers. Is it really worth the notoriety? In "Pumkin's" case she was fired from her job. "Somethin" might have trouble showing her face for years.

Here's the incident:

And here's Somethin explaining what happened. Yeah, right:

That's plain nasty, and it's so obviously staged. It sure brings in the ratings though:

Yeah, it sure is entertaining to watch people get disgusted by poop. Who am I kidding? If I still lived in the states I would have watched it.

Here are some of the Flavor of Love girls from 99monkeys. Videos found at DListed.

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British hottie Jason Statham stars with Amy Smart in the action film "Crank" about a hit man trying to settle a score. I loved him in "Snatch," "The Italian Job," and even "The Transporter," and from the trailer this looks like a slick and entertaining film.

Statham is also revising his role as "Handsome Rob" in a sequel to "The Italian Job" to come out in 2008. It's called "The Brazilian Job," and Charlize Theron, Mark Wahlberg, Mos Def and Seth Green have all signed on.

Here are pictures of Statham in the movie with Amy Smart. "Crank" is out August 1st.

Pictures from All Movie Photo. The last few are high resolution.

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Vince and Jen were engaged for three hours yesterday, and everyone was tentatively happy for gloomy Aniston. Not even a well-Photoshopped magazine cover with a fake headline can get these two together publically, because they denied the rumor almost as soon as it was out. But - hold your horses - Jennifer's publicist is known for his baldfaced lies, so this could possibly be true!

When Jen and Vince go out of their way to avoid each other publically, and Vince is completely unable to acknowledge the relationship, it makes it obvious that he's unwilling to commit.

If US Weekly is right and there is an actual engagement, it seems like a last-ditch effort by Vince to keep Jen. He strikes me as the type of guy you can never pin down who would only ask Jen to marry him if he had no other options. My last boyfriend before I met my husband was like that. I dealt with his indecision for two years before that lousy relationship finally bit the dust. You can't get blood out of a stone, and a man won't change for you. Instead of trying to get a pet or focusing on other things, you should trade those type of guys in for a better model.

This doesn't make sense though, because aren't they supposed to be planning a huge wedding now? If they just got engaged at this point - and even if they didn't, logic dictates that all the wedding stories are false. People don't plan weddings before they're engaged.

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- Even people watching Tom and Katie in person think they're full of shit [Mollygood]
- Jen and Vince are not engaged after all! [PopSugar]
- Lindsay Lohan totally lied about going to Iraq with Hillary Clinton, because Clinton wants nothing to do with her [Agent Bedhead]
- Britney Spears in a pink tube dress [Hot Momma Drama]
- Lots of hot guys in underwear in NY City [Oh La La Paris]
- Lindsay Lohan admits she's a liar and a slut [DListed]
- Posh and Becks to get their own perfume. [A Socialite's Life]
- The many mustaches of Mel Gibson [Grumpy Old Indian Man]
- George Clooney: Hollywood Monkey King [Gallery of the Absurd]
- Robin Williiams is in rehab! [I'm not obsessed]
- John Travolta is a wild hog [Celebrific]
- Mary-Kate Olsen looks homeless as usual [Bastardly]
- Why Jenna Jameson should stay away from Dave Navarro [Hollywood Tuna]
- Woman sues Clay Aiken for not promoting her crappy unauthorized biography about him. [Glitterati]
- Matthew McConaughey's moose knuckle [CityRag]
- Cameron Diaz is beautiful [IDLYITW]
- Sienna Miller and Jude Law broke up again. As if anyone cares. [Egotastic]

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First people said they saw her, and now there are supposed photographs that will be published in Vanity Fair this Fall. Come on, why the delay?

You know they say that the photographs were taken by Annie Liebovitz to add a smidgeon of legitimacy to the claims that Suri's been photographed. Why would they take pictures now ahead of time and then release them in the Fall? They have to know that the pictures will get out and no amount of legal threats will keep them off the blogs like little Shiloh's online debut. Unless there really are no fucking pictures at all and they're just trying to buy time until they can come up with a baby.

By saying the pictures were taken now in April they also get the added advantage of masking the baby's age. Babies age a lot in a few months. If they claim the pictures were taken now in April they have a few months to procure a newborn baby and get pictures taken just in time for publication.

This baby has never been photographed even far away and there's a huge bounty on its head. No baby accessories, strollers, or carseats have ever been seen near its parents or their vehicles. There are very peculair circumstances surrounding its birth, with a questionable birth certificate. Only a few "eyewitnesses" have come forth - with strange statements that sound coerced.

Yesterday Tom's rep said that pictures would be released "soon." All of sudden they're claiming that Annie Liebovitz has already photographed the baby. This is bullshit.

Update: Thanks to Angelika for pointing out that the baby was said to be photographed back in April, not now. That makes it even more suspect because they have until the Fall to get pictures of a newborn.

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No wonder Angelina's in a tizzy, Brad Pitt is back to work and looks to have recovered more than just his masculinity. He's cool again!

Jessica Simpson gushed about Brad in her Ok! interview, saying his body in "Fight Club" is "the best male body" and that she still dreams about him.

Brad is shown in Vegas on the Oceans 13 set and at the Bellagio playing cards. Unlike Daniel Craig, he knows how to play poker. Pictures from SimplyBrad.com via JJB.

Update There's a story that Angelina Jolie is asking people to spy on Brad for her while he's away filming, and that she's needy and insecure and is calling him up to ten times a day. The source is some British magazine I've barely heard of, so I really doubt it's true.

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Guess Vince broke down and realized he had to commit to Jennifer Aniston or risk losing her. Maybe that call from Matthew McConaughey uh, pushed him over the edge... into the abyss. Vince has proposed to Jennifer, and US Weekly has confirmed it:

I for one would like to see the ring, and Jen and Vince's smiling faces out at a public event. If he's serious about keeping her he won't pull that "we're buddies" crap in interviews anymore and they shouldn't be afraid to be photographed together. Um, best wishes?

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Reader Angelika alerted me to a post on PerezHilton's site that claimed that Dave Navarro was putting the blocks to America's favorite former porn star Jenna Jameson. I said I'd wait until the story got picked up by other news outlets, but it's true and I shouldn't have waited.

TMZ reports that they contacted Jenna's publicist and she confirmed their relationship:

Yeah, I can't wait until these two go out in public and are photographed together. No wonder Jenna's husband is abusing strippers. He's pissed that she left him!

Carmen won't be happy to hear about Dave's latest hookup, but rumor has it that Carmen and Dave were split for months before they announced their divorce.

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Jessica Simpson still looks pretty good when she's not wearing ill-advised black sack dresses. Star Magazine claims she's gained 20 pounds, though, and even fan site Sweetkisses.net says she's sporting a fuller figure. She still looks gorgeous and what's wrong with a starlet who's a size 8?

While The National Ledger claims Star Magazine says that Jessica is dating newly single Scrubs star Zach Braff and that she's seen him on both the East and West coast, The Scoop reports that the same article has Jessica fending off his advances:

It's too bad that she's single and lonely, but she let Nick slip through her fingers and maybe she'll be more mature about her relationships in the future.

In the August UK edition of Ok! Magazine, Jessica says she loves her curves and that she enjoys eating. She also says that she does Pilates to stay in shape and that she doesn't want to bulk up like former wrestling star Chyna. (That's a myth since weight training helps you stay slender and toned, and is a more effective way to shape your body than aerobics.)

Here is Jessica in Ok! and in an ad for her handbag and shoe line. [via]

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Star Magazine reports this week that Matthew McConaughy called Jennifer Aniston in a not-so-subtle attempt to get her to go out with him.

Jennifer's rep denied that she received a call from McConaughy, but it could be true. If it really happened, it doesn't mean McConaughy was serious about it. He may have just wanted the publicity so that he can stem some of the rumors that he's enjoying Lance and Jake's company in every way possible. It was a pretty slick move on his part, considering he picked an actress who's technically unavailable, but hasn't gone public with her relationship.

Aniston seems to be having a hard time in her relationship with bloated paramour Vince Vaughn. While it was rumored last week that they broke up, that doesn't seem true since Vince was spotted out with Aniston and was seen leaving her house. Poor Aniston has bought a new dog to keep her company while she waits for a commitment from Vince that will never come. Maybe she should have gone out with McConaughy. At least it would have made Vince jealous.

Here is Aniston with her her new puppy [via] and Matthew McConaughey biking. [via]

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Angelina supposedly got fed up with Brad's demands that she stay at home and take care of their kids and left their Malibu estate in a huff to stay at a hotel with the kids for a few days. Star Magazine is set to report that she checked into the Hotel Bel Air in Beverly Hills on July 29:

Here are the websites for the Hotel Bel Air and the Hotel Roosevelt so you can see where the famous hotties stayed. I only have one kid, not three, but I'd use any excuse to get away to a spa resort for a few days if I could. Who can blame Angelina?

She must be stressed out being a new mom and I bet she won't be adopting right away as she seemed to imply in recent interviews.

I was a bit curious about the timeline in this report because didn't she just step out with Brad and Maddox for lunch? It turns out that was on July 25th, making this timeline possible. Considering the demand for photos of the Jolie-Pitts, it's surprising that no one has any pictures of her stay at the resort, but that's probably why she picked the place - and part of the reason why she needed to get away.

There does seem to be a power struggle in Brad and Angelina's relationship. With Angelina having the upper hand for so long, she must be annoyed that Brad is working and striking out on his own. She's probably just overwhelmed with motherhood, though. People think this won't last, but I bet they'll weather more than a few storms together.

Here are some of the latest St. John ads featuring Angelina. [via]
Star Magazine cover from PopBytes.

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I know how the screenwriter of the new movie with Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook, "Employee of the Month," pitched it: "It's like Office Space in Costco meets Napoleon Dynamite."

The film's even got Pedro from "Napoleon Dynamite" except he's named "Jorge."

It doesn't look original or particularly funny. You know that it's gonna suck when the trailer looks boring. There could be some good parts, but I'm not impressed.

Trailer #1, kind of boring

Trailer #2, a bit better

Comingsoon.net says that "Employee of the Month" will be released on October 6, 2006.

Thanks to Bricks and Stones for finding these.

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- Lindsay Lohan is taking shooting lessons to prepare for a planned trip to Iraq - with Hillary Clinton [Mollygood]
- Diddy shoots a commercial with Leonardio DiCaprio's possibly ex-girlfriend, Bar Rafaeli [yeeeah]
- April Scott will replace Jessica Simpson as the new Daisy Duke [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- Vintage Keith Urban in Playgirl Magazine [A Socialite's Life]
- Pink is the new Britney [The Bastardly]
- David Hasselhoff hits on Kate Beckinsale [PopSugar]
- Vince Vaughn will never marry Jennifer Aniston [Hollywood Rag]
- Britney Spears was once really hot [City Rag]
- Pamela Anderson could be pregnant [CelebGuru]
- Paris got dumped by Stavros again [Bricks and Stones]
- Drew Barrymore without makeup [I'm not obsessed]
- Kate Hudson without makeup [Hot Momma Drama]
- Celebrity Stalking in NY City made really, really easy [Junkiness]
- Ben Affleck wants to lure Hollywood to Boston [LA.com]
- Sexy Music makes teens horny, baby! [Agent Bedhead]

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Kate Moss and Pete Doherty are back together, at least for now. I haven't kept up with troubled Pete like I should, but he had a chemical implant put in his stomach to help him kick heroin and was said to have tried to go to rehab again for like the tenth time.

Whatever he's done, it worked well enough to help him get back together with the love of his life, waif supermodel Kate:

Kate has plenty of substance abuse problems on her own. While she may have kicked the hard stuff, she still knows how to drink like a fish. She royally pissed off her friend, Jade Jagger, by getting wasted and running up a nearly $10,000 hotel bill in Amsterdam. She stuck her surprised hosts, The Rolilng Stones, with the tab. She offered to pay after leaving the country, but the damage was already done.

Guess Kate and Pete kind of deserve each other.

Kate wasn't with Pete in these pictures taken at the wedding of Primal Scream star Bobbie Gillespie on 7/29. She seems to have brought a long-haired bearded guy as her date, or that might just be someone she's hanging out with at the party.

Update I just have to mention that this is the fourth time I've been able to use that "reunited" header picture! lol

Pictures [via]

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MSNBC's The Scoop borrows our unoriginal observation by calling Suri the "Loch Ness Monster of celebrity babies."

Yeah, they'll make that decision, uh, shortly. Just like they'll get married any day now. All those preparations at the Celebrity Scientology Center were indeed for a big party as we reported, and not for a supposed wedding or non-existent Suri's Scientology baptism. It was their 37th anniversary of brainwashing people, and John Travolta and Kelly Preston showed up, lest the Scientologists reveal their darkest secrets. TMZ has a video of Travolta dancing or something at the party, but it didn't load for me. I'm so dissapointed.

Penelope Cruz said she'd met Suri, but then totally backtracked and made a weird roundabout statement about how she didn't want to have to lie anymore.

Here are two guys who work at a radio station protesting outside a Scientology center in Portland. They're "demanding the Cruise baby." You really don't have to watch this, you get the point.

The best is their protest sign with Cuba Gooding Jr. saying "Show me the Baby!"

"Where are here, do si do, show us Suri then we'll go." "It's not fair, we all lose, please show us Suri Cruise"

They ask "Will we ever see the Polaroid of that little baby mongloid?" OMG That is so un-pc, I'm sorry, but it made me laugh.

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Faded Youth scopes out X17's video of Britney shopping for toys and comes to the logical conclusion that she's having a baby girl this time around. She is seen looking at frilly girl's toys in the video. I was going to just report on the fact that Britney's having a girl, but then I found this awesome video taken on August 5th when she can't get into her car and has to ask the paparrazi if it's hers!

There must be a lot of black BMW SUVs in Britney's neighborhood.

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Christina Aguilera told USA Weekend magazine that she suffered from her father's abuse while her family was stationed on a military base. She says that domestic abuse is common on military bases in her experience. Starpulse runs the quote from the article with commentary that she's "attacking" military bases, but she seems to be speaking about her childhood and doesn't overgeneralize:

That's too bad that Christina had to go through that as a child and it's good that she found a decent man like Jordan and didn't pick another creep like her dad. It's hard to take her seriously as a person, though, when it's rumored that she doesn't even look interviewers in the eye. Still, she should be commended for talking about her difficult childhood.

Here is Christina in a Robert Sebree Photoshoot (via Gossipin) and in Seventeen Magazine (from Hollywood's Best)

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Sky.co.uk had these new pictures taken on the set of Oceans 13. They're rather small, but still drool-worthy. Just thinking about Brad, Matt, and George on-screen again - even in the most unwatchable film - gets me all woosy. Sky says there's this mystery new person in the latest Oceans installment. I don't know why they're getting all worked up about it, though. Everyone knows that the new actress in Oceans 13 is Ellen Barkin, who inexplicably gets an on-screen fling with Matt Damon. How did she get so lucky? Her billionaire husband cheated on her and dumped her. (Sorry I'm so bitter! You go Ellen.)

Here are the pictures on set. The linked versions are low quality. As soon as higher resolution versions come out, I'll post them.

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Canadian Natalie Reid has perfected the vacant stare and flat affect of Paris Hilton, and one of the commentors on Oh No They Didn't! points out that she even has a wonky eye like Paris. Natalie's bad eye seems to be her right one, while Paris' lazy eye is her left, though. Natalie's jaw is also a bit wider, but the resemblance is uncanny. Reid says that she hung out once with Paris at her Hollywood home, and said that Paris was "totally in shock" to be face to face with her doppleganger.

It doesn't really matter if Paris refuses to do Playboy. We've all seen her goodies, and as Natalie shows she's pretty interchangeable.

Pictures [via]

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People reports that Mischa Barton was seen out holding hands with a new guy in London recently, which may signify the end of her stormy relationshiop with Whitestarr frontman and all-around suspicious character Cisco Adler.

Mischa has hooked up with Rugby star Mark Robinson, also known as "Sharky" of the Northampton Saints. Robinson is from New Zealand so he's got to have the sexiest accent:

As Mischa matures, so does her taste in men. Cisco seems like a decent guy, considering how he spoke candidly in her defense when Paris talked trash about her, but he doesn't seem like he's in Mischa's league.

There's also a report that Mischa snubbed British comic Russell Brand, who was briefly linked with Kate Moss. Brand tried to hit on Barton at a London club recently, but she wasn't having it.

Barton won't have much time to spend with her new sportsman this week. She flew into Australia on Sunday to help promote designer David Jones' summer collection.

Here is Mischa with Mark Robinson, and some photos of her at the airport in Sydney and at David Jones summer collection launch. The first two photos are small, and the rest are high resolution. [via]

Update: I'm not sure Mischa is shown with Mark Robinson, because the guy she's holding hands with doesn't look exactly like the pictures I've seen of the rugby player. She hooked up with Robinson according to sources, but whether that's the same guy in the photo with her is up to debate.

Update: The guy she's holding hands with is her gay hairdresser, but she did supposedly hook up with that
Kiwi rugby player. I work with the information I have at the time, people! It's like 6 hours later here, so I'm looking at the gossip at 2:00 AM EST. Sometimes it's fresh, most of the time it's green and not ripe enough to pick.

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- Paris Hilton Crotch Shot #356,004 [BlogNYC]
- Jessica Simpson's conniving dad, Joe, is auditioning guys to be the next Mr. Jessica Simpson [Pretend Pundit]
- Mischa Barton's boyfriend looks suspiciously like a guy wanted for murder in the Phoenix area [Bricks and Stones]
- Pink's video rips off a well known New Zealand artist [popbytes]
- Mariah Carey forgets her pants at home [CelebGuru]
- Victoria Beckham still has short hair [Socialite's Life]
- Hot guys in underwear hit Manhattan for National Underwear Day [Oh La La Paris]
- Star Jones tries to help singles find a date [Juicy News]
- Paris doesn't want to do "The Simple Life" with Nicole anymore [Glitterati]
- It's easy to believe that Julia Roberts goes two weeks without washing her hair [Velvet Hot Tub]
- Paris Hilton is still a total liar [The Superficial]
- Fat John Travolta is the real reason J.Lo dropped Dallas [PopSugar]
- Lindsay Lohan takes lime and cigarettes with her water [The Bastardly]
- Lindsay Lohan pedals her way back into the production company's heart [Mollygood]
- Kiss fans protest outside the Rock and Roll hall of fame. [Agent Bedhead]
- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie continue to grow apart [The Bosh]
- Who isn't tired of seeing Jessica Simpson? [Gossipin]

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Joe Pesci made an hilarious rap video as his "Wise Guy" character back in 1998. His rapping is so bad it's good, and it's set to a looping sample from Blondie's "Rapture." The video features slap-happy Naomi Campbell and a blonde model who looks familiar.

This song comes from the album "Vincent LaGuardia Gambini Sings Just For You." The album also features songs capitalizing on his role in "My Cousin Vinny." Amazon.com has samples.

"Two supermodels, one on each arm. One chick's brunette, the other one's blonde. I heard their fathers had stocks and bonds, so I f'ed 'em up and left them floating in a pond."

From Flabber.nl via Fark.

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Poor Tori Spelling and her downtrodden husband, Dean McDermott. Whenever they go to events now they have to network hard so that they can get acting gigs on Lifetime. They look tired and miserable at this benefit for the Much Love animal rescue. Tori was honored for her work as "Much Love [Animal Resue's] most dedicated famous face." That joke just wrote itself!

She also adopted two "Much Love" rescue dogs. Aww. She doesn't look pregnant in this dress, as is the rumor now that she's registered for a bunch of posh baby stuff. Her stomach's showing and it's hardly puffing out.

Tori is so poor now that she can't afford to get her roots dyed.

Pictures [via]

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Justin Timberlake might not get away from Cameron Diaz so easily. There's a report that Cameron and Justin have bought a $24 million Hawaiian estate together:

Justin is said to have wanted time off from his three-year relationship with Cameron, and it was rumored that they broke up in late June. He was even said to be dating 23 year-old Lauren Popeil.

Cameron and Justin were seen vacationing together in Hawaii at the end of July, with Cameron hanging all over him, and Justin looking like he would rather be anywhere else. We doubt this is going to last, even if Cameron can convince Justin that a really expensive house is just the thing they need.

Update: Reader Jean saw on E! News that this was a false rumor. Sorry for the misinformation!

Pictures [via]

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Woody Allen's French nanny was summoned to Colin Farrell's hotel room for some awkward quickies before the London premiere of "Miami Vice." She says he's got a small dick and that he really sucks in bed. He made love to her three times in just an hour and a half. He invited her to the premiere and after party, but she left once she saw that he was getting cosy with Gong Li:

The best part is that she compared him to James Blunt. That's so nasty that Colin didn't wear protection!

I would like confirmation that he's poorly endowed, though. Has anyone seen Colin's sex video? He's all covered up in the screencaps. (NSFW)

It sounds like this woman is bitter than Colin didn't contact her again and hooked up with Gong Li instead. I believe her, though. Colin sounds like a teenager with no staying power. Maybe he'll be embarassed enough by this story to use a condom and some manners next time.

Here are some candids of Colin taken on 8/3. [via]

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Frances Bean Cobain wore her late dad Kurt's clothing to an Elle photoshoot that featured rock and roll children in their parent's attire. She donned the pajama pants he wore when he married crazy Courtney and his trademark brown floppy cardigan:

That's really touching. I remember when I heard that Kurt Cobain committed suicide, and I was just about to graduate from college. (Yes, I'm old!) We all listened to Nirvana back then and it was such a big deal when Kurt died.

14 year-old Frances seems to be doing well considering she lost her father and her mom has been in and out of rehab. In the interview she says that she enjoys acting and photography, but is really focused on school and wants to "enhance her social life." Her dream is to become a movie director.

Her mom Courtney Love may be cleaned up now, but she's not looking good.

Pictures from Celebrity Nation and I'm not obsessed.

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Britain's The Mirror is reporting that Gwyenth Paltrow wants plastic surgery to repair her post-baby figure. They claim that she had a talk with friends in which she admitted to not being pleased with her body and asking about surgical options. While I think comparison photographs make it clear that Gwyneth has had plastic surgery on her face, including a nose job and eye lift, I doubt this conversation ever took place. I've caught the British tabloids making up shit wholesale (and I'm sure the American rags do it too, the Brits are just more obvious) and this sounds like a fabricated story:

The article goes on to say that Gwyneth confessed that her two year-old daughter, Apple, is jealous of newborn Moses.

It's possible that one of her friends blabbed about the conversation or that a waiter overheard them, but I think that the Mirror knew that Gwyneth dined with American friends at a particular restaurant and filled in the details. She looks great, but she's not as thin as she normally is and guessing that she's not happy with her body isn't that much of a stretch.

Here are recent pictures of Gwyneth that I read were taken outside of a London gym. Hot Momma Drama asks if she could be pregnant, but it just looks like she's wearing an unflattering top.

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Britney cleaned up and wore flattering clothing when she was in Vegas last week to support K-Fed's supposed music career. This weekend she was spotted out shopping with her family while wearing a long printed dress that was somewhat classy-looking. She even had manny Perry in tow, suggesting he was the influence behind her cleaned-up image yet again.

That seems to have been short-lived, however, as Britney was seen out the next day wearing weird low-riding plaid shorts and a too-tight top that exposed her pregnant belly.

X17Online says that Britney was wearing a bathing suit underneath her top, which explains why her boobs look split down the middle. Regardless she's back to the same 'ol Britney, at least for a day.

I watched a show on the paparrazi on German TV this weekend. It focused on British paparrazi, and the lengths they go to get an exclusive shot. The pictures that really sell are of celebrities looking like shit with pimples, no makeup, and bad hair. They said that Victoria Beckham is never caught out without makeup on. Britney should take a lesson from Posh and try to be consistent with her cleaned-up look. Maybe that's why Britney is photographed so much, though. She does make people feel a lot better about themselves.

The thing is, Britney probably thinks this outfit looks good. I mean look at what she wore for her primetime TV interview.

Here are pictures of Britney out on August 4th and 5th. What a difference a day makes. [via]

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Jenna Jameson's wax replica was unveiled at the Las Vegas branch of Madame Tussauds last week. She is the first adult film star immortalized in wax. The wax version of fan favorite Jenna will "whisper sexy messages" when you rub her tattoos.

It's appropriate that Jameson's wax version is shown next to Hugh Hefner. Playboy enterprises bought her "Club Jenna" business for an undisclosed amount in June, 2006.

Jenna Jameson's husband, adult film producer Jay Grdina, is accused of assault on a strip club dancer. The woman claims she was doing a table dance for him on July 22nd when he grabbed her hair and pushed her down. Dennis Rodman was hanging out with Grdina at the club at the time, but is not said to be involved in the incident. Grdina denies the charges.

Here is Jenna and her wax version. [via]

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Ludacris recently got rid of his trademark braids to prepare for the release of his new, more mature album. He says that people don't really know who he is as a person and that his music now reflects his more serious concerns:

Ludacris has been known for his comedic style, and this is a departure for him. He is also making a name for himself as an actor with roles in "Crash" and "Hustle and Flow."

Now Ludacris is showing how mature and kind he really is. Hewent to the prom with a young fan who is wheelchair-bound:

These quotes make it seem like it's coming up, but prom season was a few months ago, so I did a little research and found out that this happened in 2004. The news must be resurfacing now because of a recent interview. Whatever the reason, that was quite kind of Ludacris and it doesn't seem like he did it for the recognition. It turns out Ludacris has a whole charitable foundation (site has automatic music) that's dedicated to helping young people achieve their dreams.

I have an auto-immune disorder like MS and have to use a wheelchair when I'm having a bad relapse. It's a very humbling experience and people do stare at you as if you don't exist and can't see them. Others look away right away as if it's too painful for them to have to think about a young person who's disabled. (The best way to deal with someone in a wheelchair is just to look if you're curious, but not stare. If you catch someone's eye, smile at them. Don't pity someone just because they have a disability.)

I'm really lucky because most of the time I can get around fine and even exercise, and I've only been sick for a few years. I would never suggest that needing a wheelchair for periods of time is the same as needing one permanently, but If I had this when I was in high school, I totally would have tried to get Matt Damon to take me to the prom. Is that dishonest?

Here is Ludacris with his new look at KUBE 93's Summer Jam on 7/29, courtesy of Cake and Ice Cream.

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In this clip for an upcoming MTV special, Paris Hilton talks about her love of singing, how she worked harder for it than anything in her life, and how she's wanted to sing since she was a little girl. She delivers these lines while sitting back on a couch and never changing the tone of her voice. She looks completely bored, like it doesn't really interest her to discuss her newfound music career, and she's doing it because she has to.

Paris Hilton is less excited making her crappy bubblegum music than the average secretary doing her daily job. Can you imagine if you called an office and the person answering the phone was as devoid of emotion as Paris? If it was a high-powered executive's office, you would wonder why they put up with such a bad assistant.

In Paris Hilton's case, you wonder why she bothers to get up in the morning. Is she really depressed or just bored with life?

Media analysts have called Paris Hilton a "palette cleanser" and said that she's the perfect brand advertisement because she can be anything you want her to be. With no real passions or obvious interests beyond shopping and showing up for stuff, it's obvious why. She just doesn't give a shit what you do with her.

Look, she blends in with the background perfectly. She's like a pillow that coordinates with everything.

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The story that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn broke up may not be true. Jen might be hanging out with her famous gal pals, and she just got a new dog and all, but she was spotted out with Vince this Tuesday night. They both look miserable, though, that's something:

The news came out at the end of July that these two broke up and has only gradually picked up steam. Maybe they're just not spending much time together or have a rocky relationship. It's certainly suspect that they never went public with it.

Thanks to KevinFFan at JJB for finding this.

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- Penelope Cruz swears she's met Suri. [A Socialite's Life]
- Ex porn star Asia Carerra had an uncomplicated, unassisted home birth just six weeks after her husband died in a car accident. [Celebrity Baby Blog]
- Carmen Electra becomes the face of a new diet pill that's also supposed to make you pretty [CelebGuru]
- Star Jones' husband, Al Reynolds, got a boody call in the middle of the night from a big guy in a hat [Hollywood Rag]
- Is Eva Mendes in Kabbalah? She's wearing a red string on her left wrist. [The Bastardly]
- Those kids that Lindsay Lohan claims were almost killed by the paparrazi in that crazy e-mail she sent? They were taking camera phone pictures of her. [Mollygood]
- Ashlee Simpson's upskirt photos reveal that she wears white panties. [Egotastic]
- Jessica Simpson wants to start her own line of bras [Junkiness]
- Jennifer Aniston got a new dog to replace the one she just dumped. [Just Jared]
- Paris Hilton swears she's just had sex with a "couple of boyfriends." The rest of the guys were random hookups. [yeeeah]
- Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Saarsgard at the The World Trade Center premiere. [PopSugar]
- Barney the Doberman ripped up a bunch of the priceless teddybears he was hired to guard. [DListed]
- Jennifer Lopez drops out of the Dallas remake [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- Brad Pitt looks extra DILF-y [Hot Momma Drama]

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Tara Reid squeezed some hapless bearded man in between her ankles while out for a swim. She might have been on vacation from her life of drinking and showing up at events, but it was probably just a day at the beach since she was seen at an X-Games kickoff party on 8/2.

The Chic Mommy has an hilarious Tara Reid interview, in which she says her "hooters are under control." They were making most of it up though. Sky.co.uk had the original from an FHM interview back in February, and it has some real gems:

Yeah, you heard that already, I know. Poor Tara hasn't got a chance.

The girl's face looks like wax, but she's actually quite pretty when she cleans up. Tara serves as a good example for why one should stay off the juice.

Here is Tara with her mystery man [from Teddy & Moo] and at the X-Games kickoff party on 8/2. [From Hollywood's Best]

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Someone please stop Madonna before she's damned to hell. She's using the same old tired "offend all the Christians" gimmick to generate controversy over her geriatric tour. She refused to take the hanging on a cross bit out of her show for the televised version of her concert, and she also declined to take it out when she plays Rome right near the Vatican. Now she's upped the ante a bit by inviting the creepy Pope himself to her show:

That's so fucking stupid! Madonna can't stand being out of the spotlight for five minutes, and she has to offend everyone who isn't a member of her crazy cult religion.

I'm not religious at all, but I just think that's ridiculous. Madonna can put all the sexy bits in that she wants, but why does she have to mess with religious symbolism so blatantly?

Yeah sure, Madonna, the Pope's going to be impressed by your tribute to "humanity." Give me a break.

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The model Kid Rock was dating right before he reconciled with Pamela Anderson is heartbroken by how quickly he moved on - and how coldly he dumped her. Jill Marie Gulseth, 22, tells In Touch that Kid Rock broke up with her unexpectedly via text message:

The future's kind of hazy with Kid Rock, and this naive chick is much better off without him.

It seems to be kind of popular among rock stars to dump their girlfriends via SMS. Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine told Jessica Simpson he was "really busy" and "needed space" in a text message. The poor girl never saw him again.

Picture from x17online.

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Diddy was supposedly set to propose to his longterm girlfriend, Kim Porter, but news got out that a woman in Atlanta just had a baby that she claims is his, and Kim is mighty pissed. He's due to take a paternity test and the results might be quite expensive for him:

My god that's some high child support. He shells out 50k a month for two kids! With another potential baby, he's looking at around $75k.

We'll have to see how this one turns out, but he may be on the market again if that baby turns out to be his.

Here are some pictures of Diddy and Kim porter shooting an ad for his Sean Jean cologne in Monaco.

Pictures from Concrete Loop.

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Kevin Federline's new single is a mess. He uses other talent for most of the rapping, which makes it more mature than Papazoa and that other shitty song he had out. (Which isn't saying much.) It's too fast, though, and not catchy at all.

I don't know much about rap, but I know what sounds good and this is just repetitive without being memorable. They mix in way too many samples and it's pretty awful.

Lindsay Lohan wrote an e-mail to gossip mogul Perez Hilton damning the hoards of paparrazi that follow her everywhere. Before you question the authenticity of the e-mail, Perez has hung out with Lohan. He also works out of a Hollywood coffee shop that stars frequent, and just saw Lohan on Wednesday morning. Her grammar isn't that great, but she's probably dashing off the message on her Blackberry while surrounded by photographers:

The paparrazi are going too far if some kids almost got hit.

So Lindsay feels sorry for herself? Judging from the amount of photographs of Lindsay that hit the 'net on a daily basis, she must have a hard time just getting away from it all.

She seems torn between loving the publicity and nightlife and wanting to have a little peace and quiet. She certainly plays to the cameras when it's to her advantage.

Maybe if she quit showing up for every event she could stem her popularity just enough to get some precious alone time. It might do wonders for her credibility, too.

A new editorial claims Lindsay is headed for Tara Reid country and that she's the one who courts disaster. We have to agree:

Slow down, Lindsay, and the paparazzi will too. You don't need to be roadkill.

Here is Lohan at the Saturn X Games kickoff party on 8/2. I don't know who the guy is that she's posing with, but some of you probably do. [via]

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Remember that baby clothing venture that I was making fun of Britney for forgetting about just a couple of days ago? It seems she hasn't dropped it after all. Word is she asked Charlie Sheen, who launched his own "Sheen Kids" line just when his estranged wife decided to air a bunch of dirt on him, if she can collaborate with him for help launching her own line of baby clothes:

That's smart of Britney to get help from someone who already has a line of children's clothing out. It's rare of her to ask for advice and she should be commended.

Meanwhile Anna Nicole Smith has asked Britney to hang out with her. She's posted a message on her stupid video diary telling Britney she'd love to be her friend:

Smith is pretty dumb if she thinks that Britney's due date is just around the same time as hers. Maybe she'll get some free baby clothing out of the deal, though. She'll need the help since her website isn't really bringing in the subscribers.

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- Victoria Beckham is back to long hair [I'm not obsessed]
- Victoria Beckham singing unplugged. It's not so bad [OMG Blog]
- Jennifer Love Hewitt's boyfriend, Ross McCall, is a little p-whipped, but who can blame him? [Velvet Hot Tub]
- Lindsay Lohan has nasty fingernails [Haute Gossip]
- Baseball team to host Britney Spears Baby Safety night! [Hot Momma Drama]
- Jenny McCarthy's toga party [Celebrity Mound]
- "So you think you can dance?" top 6 review [Girls Talkin Smack]
- Sasha Cohen is a Hollywood Dog [The Bastardly]
- Tony Blair gets "Terminator" role offer from Arnold Schwarzenegger [Celebrific]
- Torrie Wilson and Stacy Keibler in a video of a lingerie photoshoot [Popoholic]
- An old friend is trying to extort money from Bruce Willis [Wizbang Pop]
- Melanie Griffith lights her 17 year-old daughter's cigarette [Mollygood]
- Diddy and Kim Porter photoshoot in Monaco [Concrete Loop]
- 21 Jump Street star Jay Underwood is now a Baptist minister for Jr. High kids. [Faded Youth]
- Madonna and Guy Richie to renew their wedding vows [Hollyscoop]
- Star Jones denies marriage trouble [Celebrity Nation]

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Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett were photographed together in NY yesterday. Hartnett stopped into the Apple store to get some tech support while Johansson went shopping and ate an ice cream. Here's the photo description from Hollywood's Best:

Scarlet and Josh seem to have an on-again off-again relationship. They have been together for a little over a year, and It was reported back in late March that they had broken up. Josh's reps denied the story.

Scarlet was seen partying in the Hamptoms this summer with Wilmer Valderrama, which is said to have made Josh jealous.

They have a low-profile relationship, and from the looks of these candids would rather not be photographed together.

Scarlet says she is sick of people mistaking her twin brother for her boyfriend:

I've never seen Johansson's brother, but I bet he's pretty cute.

Pictures from Hollywood's Best.

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The PopBitch e-mail newsletter claims that Tom Cruise is scoping out Neverland ranch and may possibly purchase the freaky estate from heavily in debt Michael Jackson:

Cruise has to know that this would be an incredibly stupid move. It doesn't matter how nice the property, zoo, and amusement park are. It would tie him to weirdo Michael Jackson and the press would have a field day.

The newsletter goes on to say that Suri might just have a big birthmark and that could be the reason why she's been shielded from view:

That's possible, and a very clever excuse if Tom's camp made it up. Why has nary a bundle, car seat or covered up little baby been seen though? I don't buy it!

Meanwhile there are preparations underway at the Celebrity Scientology Center for what Pink is the New Blog speculates could be Suri's unvieling or Tom and Katie's wedding.

Rebels-Rebels had these pictures of the chandelier and tents covering the compound, and Mollygood has an eyewitness report that they seem to be gearing up for something.

DListed says that there's a "37th Gala Event" on August 5th though, which just means they're having some sort of Scientology party.

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Sheryl Crow, 44, needs some help in the dating department. She calls dating "terrifying," and uses the tired excuse that she could always meet a guy in the supermarket. Unless you're really forward, that never quite works.

It doesn't really matter that Crow is bad at dating. She is said to be seeing a director that Courteney Cox set her up with.

That's nice of Crow to say she would like to adopt, and it would be great to see her settle down.

Although she was with Lance Armstrong for a while, I don't think Sheryl Crow is entirely straight. In 1999 I went to a show by a NY-based all-girl band who have since hit it big. Their new lead singer at the time had a song called "Eating Crow" that she dedicated to a "famous lady she used to work for."

Sheryl Crow was said to be dating John Stamos a couple of months ago, but that obviously didn't work out.

She is now hanging out with Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston, and is said to be helping Aniston get over her failed relationship with Vince Vaughn.

Here's Sheryl Crow in August, 2006 Vanity Fair and performing on the Today Show on 7/12. [via]

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British reality TV star Emma Ryan claims David Beckham cheated on Posh with her in 1998, back when the famous couple was engaged. Beckham acknowledges that he met the woman, but says that he didn't cheat with her. She now claims they had an affair:

Emma just arrived on "Love Island" with her equally slutty twin, Eve, so she's undoubtedly trying to get press coverage with this latest stunt.

It might be true that Beckham cheated with her, but it was 8 years ago, so who really cares? In the spring of 2004 it came out that he cheated with assistant Rebecca Loos, so that's much bigger news since it happened while Posh and Becks were married.

This chick is just trying to get publicity for her gig on that British reality show, and it's working well for her since the papers are carrying this boring old story.

Here is Beckham in France on July 17th, and a picture from the German magazine "Stern." He is shown in a composite image with slutty Emma Ryan above.

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Jessica Simpson's controlling dad is at it again. Her manager dad Joe is said to be partially to blame for the dissolution of her marriage to Nick Lachey and now he supposedly wants Jessica to stop hanging out with Eva Longoria, because she steals the limelight from Jess.

He didn't just tell Jessica that he didn't like her seeing Eva, he went behind her back to dupe Eva into not attending Jessica's birthday party with the rest of her friends.

Poor Jessica is going to be left with a half-assed hairdresser as her only friend in this difficult, single time. She needs all the girlfriends she can get and that's awful of her dad to try to cut Eva Longoria out of her life.

Maybe now that the news has got out Jessica will tell her dad to step off finally. It's about time she dumped him as her manager and stepped out on her own.

Here she is at Lodge Steakhouse in LA with some other girlfriends. The pictures are from Sweet Kisses.net, where they say she "shows off her fuller figure." Teetering between a size 6 and 8 doesn't seem like a full figure to me, but I suppose everything is relative in Hollywood.

And who's that tight-faced woman in the terrible pink gathered dress behind her? She doesn't look fun or trash-talking like Eva. (Not that I like Eva, but she's probably fun to hang out with.)

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The Post Chronicle is running a story that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have split up. They're repeating an article from The Bosh that originally ran on July 25, so I don't know why it's taken so long for it to get picked up.

Australia's New Weekly also carries the story:

They never seemed like a real couple anyway because Vince was always calling Jen his "pal" and refusing to acknowledge their relationship. They also famously refused to pose for pictures together, even when promoting their film "The Break Up."

Aniston was recently spotted out without Vince looking drunk and miserable, making this story seem more likely.

Whether it's a real-life break-up for this pair or not, only time will tell. They're so under the radar that it's possible that they've been broken up for a while.

Pictures from Hot Momma Drama.

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Elizabeth Hasselbeck on "The View" is so out of touch with reality that she says using the morning after pill is the same as "birthing a baby and leaving it out on the street."

That is the shittiest slippery slope reasoning I have ever heard. Elizabeth had to be schooled by Barbara who said they should discuss the topic rationally. Watch this crap:

Let me just tell you that you can make your own morning after pill with common birth control pills. I read about first it in a health magazine, and had to use it once in college after an accident. The morning after pill is just a high dose of the hormones in regular birth control pills, so this is generally safe, but it's not comfortable and you should only do it if you have no other options. (You should also consult your doctor.)

You ovulate about 14 days give or take 3-4 days from the first day your period started. (If you have a regular 28 day cycle) So if you have an accident on the 20th day after the first day of your period you're probably ok, but only use this guideline to take measures in case of an accident and not to have unprotected sex, that's stupid.

If you want to go this route, just follow the instructions on the chart at the Planned Parenthood website.

Borrow a friend's pills or take some you have on hand.

If you you're using Triphasil or Tri-Levlen, for instance, take 4 yellow pills up to 72 hours after the accident. Wait 12 hours and take 4 more. Just follow the guidelines on the chart for the particular birth control you have.

Don't ever be afraid to take measures, especially early on, to take care of your body.

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- Rachel Bilson shops at Target [The Bastardly]
- Jennifer Aniston looks really drunk. [Hot Momma Drama]
- Leonardo Dicaprio cheats on his model girlfriends with other model-type girls [Mollygood]
- Heath Ledger and Christian Bale together on screen. [Celebrity Slap]
- Christina Milian in a see-through dress (It's see-through day!) [Jordan is your Homeboy]
- Stella McCartney is pregnant [I'm not obsessed]
- Lance Bass makes babies cry [Pretend Pundit]
- Christina Aguilera in GQ. Again. [Celebguru]
- Liz Hurley is getting married [Socialite's Life]
- Madonna sticks her ol' hands in some cement [Mrs. Mogul]
- Charlize Theron has been spotted! [Haute Gossip]
- Shannen Doherty to sue Star Magazine for saying she had plastic surgery [Glitterati]
- Keira Knightly and her boyfriend look like twins [Celebrity Mound]
- Scarlet Johansson rides the cyclone at Coney Island [Blog NYC]
- K-Fed looks wasted in Vegas [Bricks and Stones]
- Tom Cruise is a crotch grabber [yeeeah]
- The Hulk Hogans are the worlds trashiest family [CityRag]
- J.Lo drops out of Dallas. She's either pregnant, planning to be, or Marc is dying and needs a nursemaid [PopSugar]

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Lindsay Lohan probably thinks it's cute or whatever to wear her Pink Taco boyfriend's undershirt out in public for all the paparrazi to see. She could have fit one of those white diaphanous shirts she likes to wear into one of her giant purses for the day after, but it was already stuffed full with three bikinis.

Lohan is probably going to have to give a statement in the suit against her mother, Dina, who is being sued for switching Lohan's record label to get a more high-profile deal. Now that Lohan's music and acting career is taking a nosedive, that settlement is going to be worth a lot less.

Here is Lohan looking all busy and unable to balance her accessories while gleefully showing off her store-bought goodies. Her shirt isn't as see-through as Jessica Simpson's, but she's working with what was in her boyfriend's closet.

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Jessica Simpson's hair is a mess, she needs a dye job, and she's wearing orange lipstick that emphasizes her trout pout, but who's looking at her face anyway? She's wearing a completely see through dress. A short chubby woman with overplucked eyebrows and equally bad lipstick tries to look important by shielding Simpson, but she can't hide those exposed boobs, even though she's the right height.

Ken Paves is seen in the background, so Jessica has no excuse for that hair, unless Ken advised her to go for the JBF hair look. She may as well look like she's getting laid even if she has to resort to transparent dresses to look sexy. Ken probably scratched her arm with a hairbrush to make it look like she's having rough sex.

Jessica Simpson has admitted that Madonna "influenced" her latest crappy single, "Holiday," I mean "Public Affair." It's a wonder Madonna hasn't filed suit yet because the song is nearly indistinguishable from Madonna's hit.

That's like that "Opal Mehta" author saying she was "influenced" by the books she lifted passages from.

Here is Simpson outside the Ivy on 7/31. [via]

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Barbra Streisand must have seen those terrible pictures of herself that came out recently, or maybe she just wants to spruce up for her latest concert comeback. Regardless she's seen outside a plastic surgeon's office clutching a juice box while covered in a black veil.

It will take more than surgery to fix Babs. Maybe she should call Madonna and get some tips on how to slim down while cashing in on tired old gimmicks to sell out concerts. Barbra desperately needs the help, her high-priced concert tickets aren't selling well and her longterm fans are pissed at paying big bucks for her last tour, which she claimed was her final one.

Pictures from Celebrity Mania and DListed.

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Posh Beckham got a sleek new haircut recently. She was said to be tired of the extensions, which were damaging her natural hair and causing some baldness. I bet her lack of eating was contributing too, but this is great new look for her. It also might spell the end of the extension trend:

Posh was also said to be tired of women imitating her, but this just means that everyone is going to get their extensions taken out and sport pixie cuts for now.

It's too bad for us long-haired women, but I for one am not going to cut my hair yet. Long hair is still pretty, and natural looks will always be in style.

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Page Six has this big story that P. Diddy slept through his own party in Saint Tropez, but you know, at least he's oversleeping to attend parties and is keeping his business appointments, unlike La Lohan, who has it the wrong way 'round:

Hollywood parties are business appointments, though. I'm all confused.

Diddy throws enough parties that I'm sure people will forgive him for showing up a bit late. I just want to know if he's still serving Cristal.

In attendance were Ivana and a possibly surgically enhanced 24 year-old Ivanka Trump, Paris and Stavros, Penelope Cruz, and the Duchess of York and her oldest daughter, Beatrice.

Diddy has just recorded an album in which he sings for the first time. He said it was nerve-wracking:

Here are some far-away pictures of Diddy on a trampoline at his party from Hello! Magazine, and a few of Paris at the party from JiveRecords.eu.

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Kevin Federline has been quoted talking about a magazine he and Britney plan on launching that will counter the gossip and fake news made up by the tabloids:

This sounds like one of those things you talk about with your spouse when you've had a few, like "Wouldn't it be great if I started my own business?" and then they go and tell your friends about it when you haven't really thought it through and didn't want the news to come out.

I really doubt Britney and Kevin are clever enough to harness the talent to start a huge venture like this. Britney couldn't even accept help getting prepared for a primetime TV interview, so this unlikely to happen.

Remember when Britney was said to be creating her own line of baby clothing and even took out a trademark for it? What happened with that?

She's suing a bunch of tabloids from overseas in the hopes of getting some cash, so that's probably where she got this half-baked idea.

I already published these pictures of Britney at Kevin's Pure video shoot, but the only other recent pictures are blurry ones of Britney driving around talking on her cell phone, which seem too lame to post.

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Gallery of the Absurd has this fabulous new Mel Gibson bumper sticker. If they would create actual bumper stickers like this, they would sell out.

The pictures of Mel partying it up before refusing a ride home, getting arrested and going apeshit have come out. He looks every bit the aged, washed up bigot.

Mel also said back in the day that he hates gay people, and that he's such an asshole because he's a closet case:

He really must hate himself most of all for ruining his posh lifestyle making obscure vanity films.

People are pointing out that if Roman Polanski violated a 13 year-old girl and got his career back after fleeing the country, Mel can too. It took Polanski over twenty years. In Mel's case, he can probably put his extreme bigotry behind him in about ten.

Maybe he should just invest his money or go into real estate development.

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Maybe Lance Armstrong had a good, embarassing reason for making all those awkward gay jokes at the ESPY awards. Page Six is suggesting that he has something going on with Matthew McConaughey, but they're probably just checking out all the biking pictures and jumping to their own stupid conclusion.

Lance might just be a sweaty friend of McConaughey and Gyllenhaal. Hey, straight, bi, and gay guys can all hang out together and do sports without getting busy.

Countless straight guys would disagree with me, but it's kind of hot to imagine McConaughy, Armstrong, and/or Gyllenhaal getting it on. Yes I put that image in your head. If you're a semi-straight chick like me, it's not a bad one.

It's probably not true, though. Jake was said to be training with Lance so that he could play him in an upcoming movie, and McConaughey was probably just along for the, uh, ride.

McConaughey and Gyllenhaal have been spotted biking without Armstrong. Maybe they're the real pair on the down low. As long as they keep doing sports together a girl can fantasize.

Lance, Matt and Jake are shown at an ESPY awards party in mid July. Jake and Matt are seen biking together on 7/26, with one older picture of all three biking together thrown in for good measure. Pictures from Gossip Rocks and Mollygood.

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Christina Aguilera says that she loves having sex with her husband, music producer Jordan Bratman, in public places.

Unfortunately Aguilera seems to prefer indoor public places, making embarassing pictures unlikely. I don't really want to imagine Aguilera and Bratman having sex, and wish I never brought it up.

Here they are outside of a restaurant on 7/28. Aguilera looks drunk, and she seems to have dribbled something on her left breast. [via]

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- Mel Gibson was going to produce a miniseries for ABC on the holocaust, but uh, it's been canceled! [La.com]
- Kristin Cavallari is almost topless [Mollygood]
- Nicky Hilton has a friend who is even more of a camera whore than she is [The Bastardly]
- Are Gisele Bundchen and Leonardo DiCaprio back together? [Celebrity Mound]
- Julia Roberts goes two weeks at a time without washing her hair [I'm not obsessed]
- Mel Gibson's movie titles reworked in light of his latest scandal: Bravedrunk, Lethal Weapon 4: Jews start all wars [BlogNYC]
- Pamela Anderson did wear a wedding dress at some point [Hot Momma Drama]
- The Celebrity Baby Blog Breastfeeding Gallery (Yeah, it's just normal people, not celebrities, breastfeeding, but that's still awesome) [Celebrity Baby Blog]
- Hillary Duff may not be a virgin after all [Celebrific]
- Tom Cruise's contract was renewed at Paramount - for about a fifth of what it was worth last year. [Glitterati]
- Check out Brad Pitt's "Babel" trailer with Cate Blanchett and Gael Garcia Bernal [popbytes]
- The new editor of Marie Claire is trashing Ashlee Simpson for being a plastic surgery hypocrite [PopSugar]
- Maybe Tom and Katie are getting married this weekend, but it's more likely there's some big Scientology party [DListed]
- Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock show off their new wedding rings [Faded Youth]
- Jennifer Lopez in a bikini [In Case you Didn't Know]
- Josh Duhamel is hooking up with a bunch of different hotties, which means he and Fergie are probably over [Celebvent]
- Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri reveal way too much about their sex life [Crunk and Disorderly]
- A bunch of cops tricked Colin Farrell into thinking he was in the middle of a shootout [smart]

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Tom Cruise has supposedly agreed on a fall wedding to seal his suspicious relationship with young Katie Holmes. No one quite believes that their changeling baby exists, even if there's one prominent actress who's willing to vouch for it. (Why didn't Will Smith speak up too, huh?) So announcing a vague official date for their sham nuptuals should stem the rumors that they don't really have a baby and their relationship is contractual, right?

There's also a rumor that "hollywood insiders" are "scratching their heads" over Suri's nonappearance and that Tom and Katie are fighting over how to introduce the fictional infant to the public. Someone read the blogs and made this shit up, because there's no baby to show or relationship to lose:

The only reason Tom and Katie will get married at this point is to try and salvage Tom's tanking career. I don't buy any of the weird shit surrounding their relationship or supposed baby. Where's the baby carriage, where's a baby seat, where's a carrier? They need to work harder to cover their deep, meandering tracks.

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When I reported on the scathing letter Lohan received from the production studio head of her latest film, I said, "Lohan has become a parody of herself and will have a steady career of increasingly more embarassing endorsements if she doesn't slow down and focus on her acting. Oh wait - she can sing too, right?"

She can sing, but her music career has fallen prey to her partying ways, too. The British arm of her record label has given her the boot because her single tanked in the UK. Lindsay's blamed for the failure since she couldn't be bothered to go to England for promotion:

Oops Lindsay, better concentrate on your career instead of how good you look to the paparrazi.

Here is Lindsay kick-boxing on the beach this weekend. Her trainer looks perplexed and a bit scared. That little firecracker might just hurt him if he's not careful.

Pictures [via]

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James Blunt was voted fourth most annoying in a British list. He fell behind telemarketers, camping caravans, and people who cut in line. He was more annoying than everything else according to poller sentiment. Paper cuts, loud neighbors, and farts can't hold a candle to Blunt's treacle:

I'd rather drink a glass of sour milk any day than have to endure "You're Beautiful" again.

Of course Blunt is ten times more annoying for having landed Petra Nemcova. He's rumored to have a wee willy winky, so Nemcova must just go for the vacant sensitive type.

Here are Blunt and Nemcova in Prague on 7/18 and 7/20. [via]

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One of Gwyneth's co-stars in the London stage production of "Proof" said that she had some bizarre practices backstage.

It sounds pretty normal to do yoga if that's your thing, but a personal chef at a theatre production? I don't know. Couldn't she have her macrobiotic meals delivered?

Group hugs are kind of strange, but not damning. I usually look at the crap Gwyneth says to call her pretentious. Reader Millie has a friend who is an acquaintance of Paltrow's and says she's really nice, though.

WWTDD really dislikes Gwyneth, and is quick to point out that she has no higher-level education and got her early work from family friends:

And Oh No They Didn't shows before and after pictures of Gwynnie's face that make it clear that she's had rhinoplasty and eye work. She had a good surgeon, I can say that for her.

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Tori's essentially been cut out of her dad's will in a deal that would make most of us ecstatic with joy. Poor Tori can't continue her frivolous lifestyle unless her friends chip in to keep her in the illusory labels she's accustomed to. She's registered at a chic baby boutique, meaning that she's pregnant or desperately planning to be. The gossip rags have been divided on Tori's pregnancy, but it seems likely in light of this latest news:

I would bet that Tori's seriously in debt. If she's resorted to selling her clothes on eBay she must have better things to worry about than whether her unborn baby will be decked out in the latest high-priced accessories.

Instead of reassessing her life and shopping at average stores for her baby stuff like the rest of us, Tori is still clinging to the vestiges of wealth. She doesn't know any better. It's making her miserable and she's going to lose everything, but she just can't let go.