Lindsay Lohan Open Post: The Cracken is due in court for her progress report

Lindsay Lohan is due in court today. Apparently, everything is going down at 10 am PST, which is 1 pm EST, or any minute now. You can see the live feed here at TMZ. I’m not expecting much, and as such, I plan to make my way to the gym this afternoon. Thus, you can treat this post like your “Linnocent Open Post” and discuss all things “breaking news.” According to both Radar and TMZ, LL is doing okay with her structured probation, although the hint of the old crackie is still coming through:

Lindsay Lohan will once again face a judge in Los Angeles Tuesday morning for a progress report related to her probation for separate drunken driving and shoplifting cases.

The hearing, scheduled to begin at approximately 10am PST, is expected to be like her last court appearance — short and without any surprises.

The Mean Girls star, 25, has been working at the L.A. County Morgue and attending psychotherapy sessions in accordance with the terms of her probation — and most importantly, she’s been staying out of trouble.

As RadarOnline.com has previously reported last year, after Lohan repeatedly slacked off on her probation, a clearly fed-up Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner imposed a series of tough new rules last November, including monthly updates with the court.

At that time, Judge Sautner warned the troubled actress that if, during any of the monthly progress hearings, it was determined she was not in compliance with the terms of her probation, she would be sent back to jail — for 270 days.

Meanwhile, Lindsay’s comeback continues: after her photo spread in Playboy, she’s now in line to play the late Elizabeth Taylor in a Lifetime movie about the legendary actress, although Megan Fox is also said to be in talks for the coveted role.

[From Radar]

Yes, this is how LL spends her days. She works at the morgue a few times a month, she goes to therapy, she parties at the Marmont, she hangs out with Kim Kardashian at a post-Globes party, and she leaks information about her “jobs” to TMZ and Radar. At the same time E! News revealed that Megan Fox was also up for the Elizabeth Taylor role in that Lifetime movie, LL was telling TMZ that she totally signing on for the part.

Lindsay Lohan is ready to sign on to play Liz Taylor, and she’s going to complete her community service faster than required to clear the decks for shooting the flick.

Lindsay — who will appear in court at 10 AM PT for her probation progress hearing — is in the final stages of negotiating the deal — this according to sources very close to the actress/perpetual defendant. We’re told the plan is to sign the deal early next week.

And we’re told … Lindsay is actually getting more scripts than she’s received in years — apparently producers have noticed she’s finally showing some maturity.

As for today … as we first reported Lindsay has completed the required morgue work and psychotherapy sessions. If all goes well, she’ll be off probation at the end of March.

[From TMZ]

“…According to sources very close to the actress/perpetual defendant.” LOL. “According to one of the crackhead/crack-model’s drug buddies/Mother Crack, The Cracken is going to sign on to a Lifetime movie! FOR REAL.” Pathetic. But seriously, I’m not expecting any fireworks for today’s hearing, so just enjoy these photos of LL at the post-Globes party. I’ll update if anything goes down.

UPDATE: Yeah, the progress report went well. TMZ reports that Judge Sautner “gushed that Lindsay’s probation officer had written a glowing probation report.” The judge also said, “Keep doing what you’re doing. You appear to be doing very well.” LL’s next court date is February 22nd – will she be back to her old crackie ways by then?

If Lindsay stays on track — like she’s been doing — her probation will end on March 29th.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

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59 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan Open Post: The Cracken is due in court for her progress report”

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  1. eileen says:

    Cractinis are shaking over “ice” if you catch my drift! Grab a glass and settle in!! 😀

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Be a love and pour for me, would you? 😉 You simply MUST try my new recipe for crackamole. Crack-corn chips are on the side.

  2. morgfunk says:

    Holy McKrakken with cheese! Did she not get the memo about black blush? Cause she sure as sh*t didn’t get all the other ones about staying away from platinum hair and wearing clothes with pink and or pearlescent undertones. She looks dead. Kind of sad, even though she’s reaping the crackity crack harvest she’s been -a- sowing for quite some time.

    • Relli says:

      Dude totally was going to say the same thing, but i think that its bronzer/blush. But because her skin is so white? dead looking? its comes off like she rubbed the ashes from her ashtray on her face. NOT a good look at all!

      • morgfunk says:

        it’s the same blusher/bronzer from one of her many court hearing right (so many I can’t keep track – you know the one). This is a little more blended, but the color looks ghastly on her!

        She needs…..well, lots of stuff but a reality check, boot camp rehab, makeover, and a life coach (preferably in that order) come to mind.

      • brin says:

        She’s been working at the morgue too long….getting her make-up tips there.

    • bondbabe says:

      Maybe she’s trying to project her portrayal of Marilyn Monroe—be it the “dead” Marilyn.

  3. Laura says:

    She’s so…..puffy.

  4. kay says:

    I forgot this was today!

    I know she’s doing okay but I do hope for some drama.

  5. Zigggy says:

    I still can’t believe how she looks now. Wow.

  6. Bess says:

    Blohan may be barely meeting her obligations to the court, but she’s far from on track. She’s hanging around with the multi-millionaire hotel owner, Vikram. Nothing good can come from that relationship.

  7. kay says:

    I feel so unsatisfied.

  8. dorothy says:

    How proud she must be. The only work she’s gotten in years is at a morgue. And she doesn’t even get paid for it. How fitting.

  9. eyeroll says:

    Her look is awful! She want to be Marilyn so badly but the hair needs to be a little bit more darker.

  10. Shelly says:

    I honestly hope to hell that she somehow holds it together until March 29th. Even though she has disgusted me for quite awhile now, for some stupid reason I hold a glimmer of hope for her to turn it around and surprise us all one day by showing up looking like her old self with red hair and normal lips and no crack face . Yeah, I know. Not likely to happen.

  11. SCREEEE says:

    I just had lots of fun Googling “Lindsay Lohan crackhead” (Celebitchy was the first result), “Lindsay Lohan mountains of cocaine” etc. Why have I never done that before? So many classic photos and news stories.

  12. the original bellaluna says:

    Judgie was either bought or blown. Or both.

    Here, loves, try out my new recipe for crackamole. It’s wonderful!

    *raises cracktini, downs shot of delusion, repeats*

    • Firecracker says:

      The crackamole is delicious, I am starving! Missed the hearing, but sounks like it was a yawnfest.

      The dress that she’s wearing above is disgusting. I hate the big bow. I have an aversion to bows of any kind.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        It really was. Thank you! The crackamole & Lindsay-crack-corn chips are MUCH more exciting! 😉

      • Ruby Red Lips says:

        Missed the hearing too – tho sounded like went as expected….*yawn*

        I’ll have a batch of the crackomole – will keep me going till the next hearing 😉

  13. e.non says:

    she is desperately trying to pull off marilyn monroe’s signature moves and it ain’t working. she really needs to give that up. her bottom lip looks like it could burst. the level of delusion she’s living is mind-boggling.

    and how truly pathetic that she’s in competition for a friggin lifetime movie.

    • bondbabe says:

      Agree with you and her affectation of Marilyn’s moves.

      Too bad she can’t learn to be herself (but, that too, has already proved disastrous—crack, crack, crack, drunk, drunk, crack, stealing, crack, drunk, hair, stealing, duck lips, crack, drunk, hair, duck lips, crack—and too many enablers), so she can only emulate others. So sad….

    • Annie says:

      The Lifetime movie role will more likely go to Megan Fox who also needs work right now and actually does resemble a young Taylor somewhat.

  14. Newtsgal says:

    TMZ said that at her hearing today LL was served papers by a guy suing her for 300,000 for a deal that fell thru. Oh….and he says LL is a high-paid hooker.

    • brin says:

      Let’s drink a toast to that guy…cheers!

      • Newtsgal says:

        Hey Brin
        *Cheers to ya*
        I’m just wondering…how many laws suits does that make now?
        I thought the last one was her suing Pitbull….wonder what became of that?

      • brin says:

        Wasn’t he counter-suing her? I know there are more (jewelry store?), just can’t keep track of all her cracktivities!

      • Newtsgal says:

        Well before the PB pic came along, I thought that suing was her main source of income, that and the hooking….hehehehe!
        Lets see….
        Pitbull
        former bodyguard
        some car company
        jewlery store
        and now crazy dude
        There is 1 or 2 more….can’t think of em’
        My head still hurts from bangin’ on desk….still having a hard time with ol Linds or Megan Fox playing ET.

      • brin says:

        Good job! Remember when she had that car chase with her assistant’s car (?) way back….didn’t she get sued for that too? I guess give her a little time and the whole state of CA will sue her.

    • Asli says:

      Ewwwwwww, who’d pay for Lindsay?! I’d sooner have one off the street… I mean… Look at her!

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Thus confirming what we’ve all known for at least a year.

      *raises cracktini to dude* Salud!

    • Newtsgal says:

      Ohhhhhhh!
      I forget about the car chase, was that the one with the 2 guys in the back for the ride?
      And didn’t she hit a parked car or 2?
      Didn’t she almost take out a baby with her car too?

  15. ccoop says:

    In that first photo, it looks like she fell face-first onto a BBQ and wound up with a blackened chicken cutlet on her face.

    • SCREEEE says:

      HAH! It really does!

      I don’t know what it is about the (newly?) fried white hair that I find so creepy. I think she might be reminding me of some horror movie villain or something. Her seconds-from-snapping eyes don’t help anything either.

      • Annie says:

        She’s just some green vomit away from looking like Linda Blair in The Exorcist – it’s the way she looks like a cross between someone young and some ancient Gollum type creature. I keep half expecting her head to spin around 360 degrees shouting “I’m fucking Marilyn Monroe, bitches”. Except unfortunately for Lindsay that isn’t makeup and it won’t wash off.

  16. Eyup says:

    As soon as she gets off probation, the fun will begin again! yay!

    • lucy2 says:

      I think the same thing – she doesn’t want to sit in jail, so she’s going to behave until that window of time is up. Then she’ll go back to full blown crack shenanigans.
      Honestly, I’m curious how she’s still alive at this point.

      • Eyup says:

        I know, right? She’s not a genius, but she’s no dummy. As soon as she’s not on probation, she’ll be back to her old ways. Without a doubt. Let’s hope she doesn’t get behind the wheel. But she will definitely be back on the full-blown party scene (pun intended).

  17. Jessica says:

    I assume they’re not drug testing her anymore. In the pictures from the party she crashed it looked like you could see coke boogies in her nostrils.

  18. Happymom says:

    All you have to do is look at her face and see she is a total mess. It truly doesn’t matter what the court does or doesn’t do to “punish” her-she’s ruining her own life.

  19. Asli says:

    Am watching ”Extreme couponing”. Lindsay could learn a thing or two from these women. Her crack money won’t last forever…

  20. snackysnaxx says:

    She looks positively ancient in that first picture.

  21. Firecracker says:

    Where’s Madisyn? I haven’t seen her around much, but I haven’t been around much either, too busy at work.

  22. Mich says:

    I’m fascinated by these pics! I can’t quite recall ever seeing a bottom lip cast such a big shadow…

  23. logan says:

    I’ll sing it again:
    Do your boobs hang low?
    Do they wobble to and fro?
    Can you tie em in a knot?
    Can you tie em in a bow?
    Do your boobs hang low?
    Can you throw em over your sholder
    like a bag that has a boulder?
    Do your boobs hang low?
    Do your boobs flop wide?
    Do they flap from side to side?
    Do they wave in the breeze
    from the slightest little tease?
    Do your boobs flop wide?

  24. Sammie says:

    C’mon some credit… Where it’s due!
    She fixed those snaggle teeth!
    Do veneers get ruined from the pipe?

  25. Jayna says:

    Okay. I usually say something bitchy about her, but I can’t even be snarky, much less mean. I was so sad looking at that first photo and remembering how fresh and talented and unique she once was. She has done something to her cheeks. I been saying that for a few months. Fillers at her age? Seriously? Her white, bleached-out hair that does nothing for her. She looks so OLD and trashy, but trashy in a just plain worn-out, alcoholic 40-year-old way. Her auburn locks were gorgeous. I’m really sad for her today.

  26. Justsayin' says:

    Does she never look at pics of herself??!! *face-slap* What am I saying.

    Is there anyone on her “team” sober enough to look at pics of her and assess the shear skankiness of this twit? Comparing her to MM is beyond insulting to Monroe’s memory. To suggest that she could convincingly play ET when she looks like the spokesmodel for a meth lab is just another ladle of delusion. God, I hope.

  27. MoP says:

    I love the dress! The rest of her – wow. She’s livin’ hard.

  28. Maritza says:

    Her cheek implants and lip fillers look painful, she has totally messed up her face and what’s the use of having boob implants if you are going to let them hang like an old lady.

  29. Hakura says:

    I’m with Jayna on this one… Even my usual first inclination to say something bitchy has failed me, seeing her pictures lately.

    Even if she did go back to red/darker hair now, I’m not sure it would do that much good, her face is such a mess… Whatever she did has caused her to look not only ancient, but badly sun-damaged.

    Hell, Betty White looks better than LL, & she just turned 90 Freaking. Years. Old. (-Not– to imply Lindsay is in any way comparable as an actress, though).

    ((Speaking of which, Happy Birthday, Betty White!!))

    • Annie says:

      I was thinking just the same thing – Betty White is 90, yet looks so much healthier, prettier and more ALIVE. Just goes to show how much less of aging is in the year count than people think.

      • whatevs says:

        ikr? and goddess bless betty white

      • Hakura says:

        Everytime I see pictures of Betty, she always seems so relaxed, & like she’s always smiling or cracking a joke. She doesn’t allow her age to get in her way, thats for sure.

        I really think it’s almost impossible to truly dislike Betty White, which (as an entertainer especially) is very hard to achieve.

        LL is still so young, but is already a disgrace with a washed up career & a ‘washed out‘ appearance. She shouldn’t be at the point where any party she goes to has to be ‘crashed’, only to have the masses ignore her, or greet her with fake smiles, looking for an excuse to get rid of her.

  30. Melinda says:

    I’m beyond the feeling sad that she looks like a geriatric point. Whatever. She has had so many chances. I don’t even show up the the crack-tail gate parties. She’ll get away with her cracknanigans. I think the best we can do is treat her like a kartrashian and hope she’ll go away.

  31. 88Modesty88 says:

    Holy Cheek-fillers, Batman!

    She looks older than I do, and I’m a 38-yr-old pregnant mum of a 15-month-old…

    Sad sad sad. I watched The Parent Trap a while ago and was stunned by all the promise she showed back then.

  32. whatevs says:

    i’m also disgusted by the way she ruins perfectly pretty dresses. all the time.