The Situation is offended by gay rumors, which he says will “hurt his brand”

The final season of “Jersey Shore” rages on, and it looks like a good chunk of the castmates are lining up future MTV spinoffs. “The Pauly D Project” is reportedly a go and the untitled J-Woww & Snooki show finally got the okay to shoot in Jersey City after Hoboken denied them a permit. No word on what Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has in his immediate future unless “obnoxious, misogynistic, and extremely orange” qualifies him for some profession of which I’m not aware.

The misogyny bit is interesting though, for The Situation’s endless stream of post-club hookups have done nothing to quell the persistent rumors that he might be in the closet. In fact, one of my gay boyfriends has always insisted that Sitch is “a closet case,” which I didn’t see at first, but it’s becoming more obvious as time wears forth. At the moment, The Situation is extremely pissed off at Snooki and J-Woww for statements that the girls made about his sexuality in a recent HuffPo interview. When asked about whether The Situation is gay, Snooki responded, “It wouldn’t shock me. Whenever he brings a girl home something always seems to go awry and they don’t end up hooking up. And he gives them men’s clothing to wear.” J-Woww added, “And his posture and the way he holds his cigarettes… everything.” Needless to say, The Situation is extremely offended and worried about the effect upon his marketability:

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is furious with his “Jersey Shore” castmates Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jenni “JWoww” Farley for giving interviews to the Huffington Post and Reality Weekly hinting that he may be gay.

“Mike really ripped both Snooki and JWoww a new one,” a show insider told me Wednesday.

“He’s extremely upset,” added the source, saying Sorrentino is concerned those comments could hurt his brand marketing efforts, which are very much focused on straight male customers.

The reality TV star’s publicist issued a statement denying the gay gab, calling Snooki and JWoww’s speculation “the most ridiculous statement I’ve ever heard.”

The “Jersey Shore” staffer acknowledged the rumors about “The Situation’s” sexual orientation have been around since the show’s first season, “but Mike thought he finally had put a kibosh on that.”

[From Chicago Sun-Times]

Those gay rumors aren’t going away anytime soon. In the first episode of Season 5, Sammi Sweetheart entered the confessional room and talked about Mike’s “gay tendencies” after she saw him changing clothes in the same room with one of his buddies. Honestly, even if Sitch really isn’t in the closet, he could embrace these rumors and come out ahead with a new fanbase, since everyone (castmates and fans of the show) pretty much dislikes him intensely at this point. Instead, he’s acting like being gay is a bad thing, which is a total douche move.

The really funny thing about Mike being so worried about his “brand” losing steam due to gay rumors is that he’s apparently not at all worried about how his “brand” was affected by last week’s episode, in which he walked around (either drunk or high on cocaine) with his (mercifully blurred-out) wang hanging out for an entire five minutes while he delivered a nonsensical speech about how he’s such a nice guy and doesn’t know why his roommates can’t stand him. EW’s recap hiliariously refers to The Situation’s downfall from a scheming creeper to a paranoid old man as his “own private late-period Caligula phase,” which is just a fancy way of saying that The Situation is completely losing his mind. These days, Sitch makes roid-ragey Ronnie look like a perfectly prim pussycat.

Closeted or not, The Situation is always looking out for Numero Uno, so he’s choosing to insult the gay community in favor of protecting his silly formal wear endorsements because he’s blown his money and is basically broke at this point. In these photos, he’s still shilling his damn Couture Pop. I’ll bet he gets a buck or two every time someone buys one of those overpriced hunks of sugar.

Photos of The Situation hosting at Chateau Nightclub in Las Vegas on 12/31/11 courtesy of Fame/Flynet

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37 Responses to “The Situation is offended by gay rumors, which he says will “hurt his brand””

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  1. Maya says:

    Maybe he qualifies as George Clooney’s next Z grade paramour…

    • Capella says:

      I think he meant it would “upgrade”, not hurt his brand. Poor Situation’s vocabulary comes to him as easily as his natural skin color.

  2. AMANDA says:

    What brand? What does he sell? Nasty?! Gay or not I’m not buying it!

  3. Jessica says:

    I see what they aare talking about… he is VERY…is feminine the word? His posture, and I have seen the way he holds his cigs… screaming queen.

    • Samigirl says:

      I think you’re looking for the word effeminate, and YES. He totally is. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay, but I’ve always thought he was. He surrounds himself with women constantly, almost like he’s overcompensating.

      Funny how he can look so much like Dave Gahan and still be unattractive.

  4. Zelda says:

    He’s selling workout supplements or something, is he not?
    If he really is trying to sell a product that makes you look buff and chiseled, I’d say the gay market is exactly the way to go, no?

  5. Jules says:

    What brand of douche is he?

  6. Quest says:

    Mike lick your pop and STFU

  7. Rook says:

    Being gay will hurt his “brand?” I think it would do more damage to the gay “brand.”

  8. Alita says:

    I totally believe people that are fans of this twat are negatively affected by homosexual-friendly stories. The ‘twat’ thing explains it, mostly.

  9. Asli says:

    I think he’s hurting his ‘brand’ all by himself.

  10. lucy2 says:

    I’m offended by his existence.

  11. NeNe says:

    What a major douchebag. I never did understood the fascination with him. I never liked him to begin with, and now even more.

  12. TheOriginalVictoria says:

    You have to put your jingoism and patriotism aside and admit that it’s a sad day in America when someone named “The Situation” has a brand that he as to think about protecting.

    All I’m saying is, I’ve seen my share of gay porn (don’t judge tequila, new years and hanging out with my queens results in craziness every damn year okay?) and he totally looks like he enjoys a nice stiff one.

  13. someone says:

    hahahaha i’m just killing myself laughing from all the comments. you guys are great. and situation is so vile, i feel awful for the gay community to have to be associated with him if this is truly the case…

  14. Laurie M. says:

    His 15 minutes of fame are WAY over. He’s broke – there were pics a few weeks back of his personalized Bentley being re-poed. He is done, done, done. Now the rest of those orange freaks have to end their time on tv too.

  15. Cathy says:

    I would think that gays wouldn’t want to be associated with him. I’ve never watched the show..but he’s creepy looking.

  16. The Original Mia says:

    What brand?

  17. phlyfiremama says:

    I weep for the future of our country, that this uneducated bigoted trash is the pinnacle of our civilazation~the best entertainment “thing’ our country can holdup to its citizens; that they think THIS is what our youth should aspire to. Idiocracy indeed…

  18. NeoCleo says:

    His face hurts his brand.

  19. Jover says:

    I like your posts theoriginalvictoria but what does jingoism patriotism or anything have to do with this clown. No need to put a high brow gloss on this. And philyfiremama, don’t lose hope yet;
    A few things to keep in mind; if you compare viewership/ratings of the Jersey shore versus actual US pop. and compare that to shows a generation ago (seinfeld/friends/cheers, etc.) the jersey shore really isn’t that popular.
    What’s changed is now we live in a truly media saturated world that didn’t exist in 1992 or 1982, and the media can make asshats like these seem much more because there simply is so much more media time to fill and crap like this is more easily pushed.
    My son and his friend are generally hip college educated and they pay no attention to this.
    Finally, the real ire should be directed at the bozos that run MTV and the conglomerates that control it; they took a fun idea of the 80s and ruined it, and this was done deliberately;if you search on google you can find stories of how MTV changed starting in the mid 90s. But don’t give up hope this is the last season with these neanderthals, it may have run it’s course – like veneral disease.

  20. NinaG says:

    I think he’s an insult to the gay community if it turns out that he is actually gay. To be honest I have always suspected since day one about him because of his mannerisms and the overly macho persona.

  21. moopsie says:

    All I read was the headline and thought “f*ck right off”

  22. Penguen says:

    I don’t like him, and don’t really care about him, but…

    I would have a teeny tiny bit more respect for him if he reached out to his gay fans. It would be very cool if he embraced diversity instead of sounding like such a homophobe douche. He can assert that he’s straight if he wants, but this is also a great chance to show some love to the GLTB community.

    Come on! It’s 2012!

  23. samab says:

    well his eyebrows are gay for sure….

  24. hillbillygirl45 says:

    OMG!!!!!!!!! could give a rat’s ass if the “Situation” is gay……..the problem I have is that I just found out that someone thought it was agood idea to give that drunken garden gnome a show of her own!!! WTF……….WHY!!!??????? Can’t all thse orange, no-talent, extention-wearing, fame-whores just go away? I tried watching the show, couldn’t handle it. All I could think of was Snookie’s poor parents watching this train wreck

  25. ClumsyMe says:

    I never understood how girls would willingly have sex with that thing!! I have watched a couple of episodes (hangs head in shame) with my sister and could not believe that girls actually thought he was hot. Have some damn self respect its not like he’s the last f’ing coca cola in the middle of the Sahara!!

  26. GT says:

    Why the hell is he relevant, gay or not??? Who cares????

  27. Janise Grubber says:

    Most Guy’s from New Jersey are fag’s, thats why they talk funny