From my understanding, Tina Fey and Lorne Michaels are two of the few people in the industry willing to give Lindsay Lohan a chance. Tina has always been a Cracken apologist, ever since she and Lindsay worked together on Mean Girls. As for Lorne Michael, who is still running Saturday Night Live… well, God knows. Maybe he just takes Tina’s word for it. In any case, it was just announced that Lindsay is going to host a March episode of Saturday Night Live. Seriously? Who thinks this is a good idea? Who thinks that this doesn’t have “OMG CRACK DISASTER” written all over it?
She may not be landing big screen roles at the moment, but Lindsay Lohan has just nabbed a major gig!
On March 3, the 25-year-old will make her return to Saturday Night Live where she will host for the evening. Jack White will be the musical guest.
This will be Lohan’s fourth time on the NBC late night show — her first since 2006.
The SNL producers should have a ton of material to work with, beings that Lohan has been through a lot since she last hit the stage in NYC’s Rockefeller Center.
In November, Lohan checked in and out of jail (her fifth sentence overall) in under five hours due to crowding. Currently, she is serving the terms of her probation ordered to her by Los Angeles judge Stephanie Sautner, who told the star last month, “keep doing what you’re doing. You appear to be doing very well.”
When Lohan appears in court this Wednesday, she is expected to have completed an additional 15 days of community service at the morgue and five more psychotherapy sessions. If Lohan continues to fulfill her court-ordered obligations, her probation will end March 29.
[From Us Weekly]
So her probation won’t even be done by then, and she’ll be flying to NYC and staying in some hotel for a whole week while SNL is writing skits for her, and she rehearses and stuff. One whole week with professional actors, comedians, writers and producers, all of that attention focused on Lindsay and her crack shenanigans. Ten bucks says she won’t even be able to keep it together until then. Even if she manages to get to NYC, her first call will be to her Manhattan dealer and then all bets are off.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, WENN.
Damn she’s going to be disappointed when she turns up and realises the White Stripes they lured her with aren’t quite what she was hoping…
LMAO! You totally stole my response 🙂
Hopefully she won’t try to snort Jack.
Or his striped pants!
I read the comments on gawker and many agreed that making fun of her isn’t fun anymore because she could die like Whitney. Not another dead talented person! I hope she recovers!
You’re comparing the talent of Whitney Houston to that of Lindsay Lohan?! Really? I mean, she was a spunky and cute child actress but as far as I’ve seen, she has yet to prove this so-called talent she keeps insisting she has.
I don’t normally watch SNL, but I’ll be watching on March 3rd to watch this trainwreck. Best case scenario, she does well, gets ratings for SNL, gets her life back on track, and we can stop watching her commit (very slow and drawn out) suicide. More likely, it’ll be a s***-show and we’ll all laugh again then feel bad.
I don’t think the point made was to compare talent… rather to point out that another celebrity is in serious trouble. Whether you agree or not, many think LL had a lot of potential that has been wasted. When it comes right down to it, Lindsay and Whitney have plenty in common… raging drug addictions.
Yeah, LL had talent, probably still does. And rather than be a snot, why not just consider that other people actually might have enough decency to restrain themselves and not make jokes about, or take pleasure in mocking, someone dying from their addiction. Sick people are to be pitied and helped.
GO SNL!
But, she’s NOT sick! She is working hard on her sobriety and her probation reports are GLOWING. You can’t play it both ways.
@boo. You seemed determined not to get it so all I can say is I hope no one in your family ever has an addiction and needs your help.
i agree. i don’t think it’s fun/funny anymore either. she is clearly really sick and struggling. i hope she can turn things around.
It’s kind of creepy how our society places more importance on people’s lives if they have “talent” as showbiz entertainers. A job is a job.
My thoughts exactly. They lowered the flag for Whitney! And we keep holding LiLo up as some poor fallen star who deserves our sympathy and empathy. Screw that! Yet you see a crack addict on the street and you step over them without a second look. How disgusting is that?!?!
:/
Bored of Lindsay and getting to the point where I’m just waiting for the press release that she’s dead from and OD.
I really don’t know why anybody would take the chance she would actually show up. Nevermind attending rehearsals.
We can only hope that she loses her passport again 😉
“Will she be a crackie disaster?”
Of course….and everyone will tune in to watch.
Yup,cause everyone loves a train wreck to drive by and rubberneck.
How anyone still wants to hire her anymore is beyond me.
Do you know the kind of ratings they’re going to get that night?! All of us haters and commenters from sites like CB- we’re going to be glued to the TV. And I say that as someone who *never* watches SNL.
Exactly. Lorne Michaels is no dummy. It’s a win-win. She could do well-great for her. If she’s a mess, everyone is talking about SNL. The ratings will be huge.
Indeed. Why is Lohan?
Also agree with Kimbob, definitely the first paragraph is spot on.
Yeah, I don’t get it. She can barely sit still and hold it together for ten minutes in court, her crackiness is always on the edge of a major breakdown, and they are expecting her to host a live show and be competent and “on” for ninety minutes? How is that going to work? And do they build a contingency plan into it in case she loses it? Like, have another host on stand-by? This all seems like an awful lot of pain in the ass to give her yet another chance she doesn’t deserve–is Lorne Michaels really that desperate for rubbernecking ratings?
you know who was able to deliver a performance even though she was drugged up to her eyeballs and or possibly about to collapse mentally or physically? Judy Garland.
If the talent, as Lilo keeps reminding us, is there, she might be able to do a good job despite the lack of acting/hosting work for 5 years.
On the flip side, that is also the worry ie she hasn’t booked an acting/hosting job in a long time, so it would be a disaster.
either way, ratings will be through the roof.
I wonder if she is hosting on the same weekend as the Oscars, when all the good people are in LA? Traditionally during Oscar week they have some loser host SNL cause everyone else is presenting or receiving an Oscar, or otherwise engaged in a project.
Oooo!! Maybe that is their brilliant plan!! If Crackie is in NY hosting SNL, then she can’t being at the Oscars trying to break into the ceremony or after parties with her screaming, slurring, crackie antics. Think about it…..if I had the extra cash to pay off an SNL writer simply to avoid Hurricane Lindsay at my legit event, I would do it!! A few bucks to avoid hearing the “Do you know who I am?!” squawk? Absolutely! Well played, Oscar peeps….
Oscars are 26 February.
Oh darn!! There goes my clever theory! 🙁
BUT!!! It says she’ll be in NYC for a week PRIOR to SNL to rehearse, etc…
So maybe your theory is still sound!
Yup cracken disaster! I just hope they don’t do a skit portraying her as sexy, but knowing the delusional cracken she will probably demand one. I showed my husband the pics of her n he couldn’t believe that it was her. He literally said ” What the hell is that?!”
I’m hoping for a morgue skit 😉
Oh, Mort, it could be very funny. IF they do it well, it could be hysterical. But if they do it wrong…well, how would you feel about Blohan working in the morgue while one of your loved ones was lying in there?
(Scroll down to see my proposed Cracken on SNL Drinking Game.)
I am so happy for her. She is talented, beautiful, funny and humble. It’s great oportunity to show all the haters that she is doing amazing. I’m sure her episode will be a huge hit. So pround of her. You go girl!
Oh hai Dina.
LOL
Seriously?????
I really dig your sense of humor.
humble? Wilbur was humble. Lindsay is selfish, self-serving, obnoxious and deluded. Would you care to borrow my dictionary?
Haven’t watched SNL for years. I’m sure that her face would break my tv if her face showed up on the screen. Don’t want to take a chance.
Well thanks a lot, you buzzkill! 😉 I was planning on watching it but hubs just got a new widescreen HD TV, and I don’t know if I can take all that cracken glory in HD, 55 inches wide.
Maybe if I wear my sunglasses?
I remain haunted by how far back her hairline has receded; look where the newly-cut bangs start. And please – there is no talent here, just a person whose family pimped her out and about in Hollywood and who was lucky enough to land one good part in a single well-written movie many many years ago.
Amen.
The only thing I could think of when I heard this is how in the world could SNL be giving her such an opportunity?! I mean, this girl has BLOWN EVERY OPPORTUNITY THAT’S BEEN THROWN HER WAY, & here we go again…someone sees some “redemptive quality” in her YET AGAIN?! Seriously…how many chances should a person get? Like a cat that’s used up its’ nine lives, I feel Lindsay’s done the same. It’s really not fair….yeah, yeah, I know…life is not fair. Believe me-you I KNOW!
For some reason, I’m thinking that because Crackie called and offered herself, I’m thinking (HOPING)that Lorne Michaels decided to “take advantage,” and hem & haw until Lindsay told him she’d host for a terribly LOW, minimal amount of money. God…at least I HOPE that’s what has happened here.
I swear….this God-awful economy. I can’t even get a damn job right now…and this bitch gets every chance in the world…NOT FAIR! It blows/sux BIGTIME!
I believe the hosting gig only pays scale.
They should be charging her for the opportunity.
I keep remembering something about Lorne & Tina and some of the others staging an intervention for Blohan some time back. She was PISSED. And in denial, as usual.
Well, this proves it. SNL is on its last legs, and its last breath.
This show stopped being funny years ago, and for a long while people still kept tuning it (good will does make you stupid sometimes), hoping that it was just a temporary malaise.
Their ratings are so low, the entertainment quotient almost non-existent, so they’d do ANYTHING to garner some publicity. And isn’t it the time of sweeps, too?
Lorne Michaels is nothing more than a fame-ho who will pimp out his, great-of-yore, show to anybody and anything in an attempt to recapture relevance. Too bad the show could not find the relevance with a roadmap in 3D.
This is clearly the latest, and one of the most desperate, attempts by SNL to increase viewership, and become HOT again. I guess fame-wh0res need to stick together, :).
And, seriously, this nasty, diseased-looking hag needs to just GO AWAY!
Nice post but even as bad as it’s been these last 3-4 yrs. what else are they going to put in its time slot?
I hope they have a back-up host, just in case.
Two things- Tina Fey needs to wake up and smell the coffee; Lorne Michaels will do anything to be “edgy” and draw an audience.
AND- Lindsey Lohan IS Victoria Gotti in a few years. I saw her last night on the apprentice, and she’s just as nasty and delusional as Lilo is.
Damn SNL! If it was just Lohan I would skip and catch the highlights buuuuuttt No! They had to have Jack White as the musical guest. I will be shamefully tuning in.
Jack probably demanded to be there on 3/3, and the producer’s getting revenge by having her as host.
I have just lost all respect for SNL.
Remember the skit she had on SNL when her 30 year old self visited her present day self? That was around 2005/6. The 30-year old meth-faced Lindsay said something about her life being too fast and she has to slow it down.(I’m paraphrasing). Then present day Lindsay asked what she did in the future and the old self said Lifetime movies and porn. I dunno, can’t find a video of that one on the internet but it was crazy spot on.
The druggie Lindsay was played by Amy Poehler.
I couldn’t find the video but here is the transcript. It is hilariously dead on.http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04tmono.phtml
Wow. Now I’m sad. So spot-on it’s ridiculous.
Oh God I think Tina Fey & LM smoked the same crack LL does when they came up with that idea.
I wonder if that’s a needle spot in her leg where she shoots up and she’s covering it up with that huge band aid
what is it with old men and this woman? First Hugh Hefner now Lorne Michaels. Must be a daddy thing. Don’t think I will watch, will catch it on the new the next day. Momma Lohan will have her there if she has to go on stage with her. Wait a min……….
Meh. I’ve stopped watching SNL, it has gone downhill these past few years.
I am not even amused by this trick anymore. Her actions are predictable and boring…screw up, blame others, repeat cycle. She’s not smart enough or outrageous enough to be truly interesting. Even at being a screw up, she’s second rate.
It doesn’t matter if her probation is done by then. She is ahead of schedule for the March 29th court date. 😀
Yes, dear, and how is she for the Feb 22 court date?
Hey Nicole!
You really don’t know that about her. How could she possibly be ‘ahead’ when she went to NY for a week?
Hi Mads and the rest of the crack-clique. Madisyn what does your avatar on TMZ say? I can’t make it out.
LOL at Original B’s drinking game. I will be totally hammered to the point of unconsciouness if I just drink during the ‘finger in the mouth part’ never mind the rest.
Hey Lady D, it says exactly what she is:
CRACK HO
What is your name on tmz? I borrowed the avi from Vinsetta on tmz.
who is she doing to get these random gigs? and why are people falling for it?i doubt enabling her is good in the long run.
I will not be watching that crap on the 3rd but if there is a post here in the 4th I will be ready and able to bash like I did watch. God this is going to be worse than the Lana Del Ray bashing. I feel sorry for Jack White. BTW that man is insanely hot to me. Don’t ask me why but I do adore him.
**highfives**
Yeah, I about fell out of bed when I saw her promo pop up on my tv during SNL over the weekend. No idea why people keep giving her chance after chance after chance. I actually think she’ll do ok though. It’s not like she’s learning lines for a Broadway opening. Short skits, cue cards to read from. I imagine she’ll have a major crackie celebration after the show, however. NYC dealers better be ready.
There won’t be drugs available (for anyone else) in any of the boroughs! Stock up druggies, The Cracken is coming! 😀
I actually am quite happy about this, there is a SLIM chance that being around professionals and doing some legit work and potentially getting some praise if she pulls it off will encourage her to try and get her act together for real.
I’m glad Tina has always kept faith in her, somebody needs too because her family sure don’t give a f**k.
how is she going to get thru a week worth’s of intense rehearsals — not to mention the actual program.
but i bet she’ll bring the ratings; and that’s all that snl cares about.
It’s win-win for SNL. If she does well-that great. It she tanks-that’s great for them too.
I think it’s too soon for her to make fun of herself. As mentioned above, it’s not funny anymore. Also, in all her work since Just my Luck, here comic timing has been crap.
I totally agree – it’s in poor taste to put her on any comedy show after her shenanegans of the last few years.
Well “poor taste” is almost a skill set for Lohan.
The only thing that is shocking and clear is that she hasn’t used up all of her favors yet. Don’t blow it Lohan!
I feel so sad for the alpaca who had to die for her hideous coat.
Dude, she killed the damn Lorax for that coat.
Totally.
Oh, that is one episode I will not miss! Unless she’s goes to jail on Wednesday. I think THAT would be the final nail in her career coffin.
*waves to the Usual Suspects, scrolls up to read comments now*
We must create a drinking game for this episode, ladies!
– Every time she puts her finger in/on her mouth, do a shot.
– Every time we see a coke booger, do two shots.
– When (IF) she’s able to close her mouth, do three shots. And DVR it so we have actual proof she is able to close her mouth. (Bonus bag of “sea jasper” if you do.)
(I think that third one pretty much negates our chance of delusion/alcohol poisoning, as she’s not closed her mouth on camera in years.)
By the sounds of it I’ll be very drunk on the 3rd.
LOL! The finger in mouth one will have us all in the hospital by the end of the night!
Still totally playing. Cheers!
Cheers, lovies! Should be quite a night!
Good Lord Belle, according to your ‘rules’, I’d say we’ll all be loaded by the first commercial!
OK Bess, I spotted Viki on Celebrity Apprentice. Gross!
Mornin Crack Cliquers! Cracktini time?
ALWAYS! Can’t you just hardly wait until the 3rd?!?
I will most definetely be taping it. Of course, the East coasters will see it first and let us know how it was. I already told Bess yesterday, ‘tell me how its going’.
Is court tomorrow or Wednesday?
Also, don’t forget tonight. E! is doing a Blohan THS, its 5pm our time and we’re meeting in ‘chat’. Don’t be late!
Invite is for ALL, everyones welcome to participate.
It’s because Tina Fey is her aunt.
umhmm, gotta love nepotism.
I’ve been a lohan apologist but killing a wookie so you can wear a stupid coat is crossing the line. Not cool LL.
How much do you want to bet that she does a skit making fun of miley cyrus?
Madisyn, I can’t reply to your question up there. I go by Del on TMZ but I haven’t posted for a few months. I got so disgusted when they changed a story to make the Cracken not look like a liar, I just deleted TMZ. I read the comments once in a while but between the appalling racists and posters like RC and RW, I’m just as happy not posting. I check for your comments of course, and 1 or 2 others. I do miss Izzy, last I heard he was really sick, I hope he’s ok.
LOL@ G: “Well “poor taste” is almost a skill set for Lohan.” Too damn funny.
Lady D
You said ‘Del’ not ‘Delmar’ right? As for Izzy, he’s been on the boards the last couple days. For how he is, that I wouldn’t know. Check out my post below, I’m absolutely dumbfounded that trick got the Liz Taylor role. Unbelievable!
Fear not my friend, I am only Del, not Delmar. Delmar needs help.
FUNFACT! Tina Fey hasn’t written for SNL since 2006. Seth Meyers is currently the head writer. This decision probably has nothing to do with Ms. Fey.
Boy, am I going to be feasting on massive amounts of crow if this is true. From Access Hollywood:
Lindsay Lohan has more than just her upcoming hosting gig on “Saturday Night Live” to celebrate – she’s scored the role of Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime TV movie, “Liz and Dick,” a source tells Access Hollywood’ s Billy Bush.
But, there is one legal-related caveat: Lindsay needs to stay on the right side of court.
According to the source, if Lohan continues to stick to the judge’s orders, as she has been doing, she will be playing the “Cleopatra” beauty in the Lifetime made-for-TV film about the late actress.
The project, helmed by producer Larry Thompson, has been in development since May 2011.
Following a string of recent legal woes, the 25-year-old appeared in the January/February issue of Playboy. She was last seen on the big screen in “Machete” in 2010 and on the small screen in 2009’s TV movie “Labor Pains.”
She will host “Saturday Night Live” on March 3. Jack White will be the musical guest.
Lohan is due back in court on February 22.
I am speechless.
Hey Madisyn, Bella, Mort et al – tell me this news is from Dina Lohan not a reputable source…
Jug of cracktini on the table ladies!!
*pours a cracktini* Thanks, Ruby. I’m just going to pour this one into my eyes to try to un-see that.
Dammit, I missed the Blohan THS! Oh well, I’m sure they’ll repeat it.
Tina and Lorne are no fools – they know this skanky crackwreck will be good for ratings.
This trainwreck got the Elizabeth Taylor role?! Who thought that was a good idea?? Much less the SNL gig. This crackho ain’t never gonna go away……by the way, does this heifer look like she needs a good scrubbin’ to anybody but me? The girl just looks straight up nasty to me. Just sayin’……………..
I was looking a Cate Blanchett and Nicole Kidman…it just seems wrong to have Lohan on the same website as those two wonderful actresses. She’s such a disaster.
Is it just me or did the Cracken lose her make-up bag? Jesus she looks horrid! Casper the ghost anyone? Somebody call a professional quick!!