Kaiser tried to get me to cover this Adam Levine story in Details because she didn’t want to do it. I tried to beg off and pass, but then I saw the best quotes from Adam’s interview on Evil Beet. He’s just an a*hole, and I feel pretty confident calling him that. To recap Adam: he has a reputation as a womanizer, and in one of the last interviews we covered with him he was bragging about having unprotected sex with his girlfriend, Victoria’s Secret model Anne Vyalitsyna. She subsequently dumped his cheating ass by issuing a press release and not even bothering to give him a heads up about it first, making me assume he’d done something truly awful to her. (Although I just suspect it was garden variety cheating.)

Well Adam pontificates at length to Details about why he’s so successful with women, and how his attitude (douche) has to do with growing up with jilted women or something. He’s compensating for something, and I don’t feel sorry for any woman who falls for his total b.s. Here’s some of what he said, and thanks to Evil Beet for condensing it down for us:

On being misrepresented: “I’ve always felt a little misrepresented in the world. I felt like people only knew me as a singer who dated pretty girls. A little bit of a bimbo. Maybe I was kind of a bimbo,” he adds, laughing. “I was the music dude that was naked all the time with the girls, and that’s fine, no problem with that. But I wanted to create a little balance. When the show [The Voice] came around, I thought, ‘People now know that I have a brain.’”

On Christina Aguilera: “I always thought Christina was the best pop singer around. She wasn’t just a pop star—she could sing her f-cking ass off. We butted heads a little in the beginning. I had sympathy for her being the only girl, though, so I laid off. Blake has a charming way of bickering with her, but I can’t pull that off. We’re totally cool now.”

On yoga: “You know what yoga’s good for?” Adam Levine asks, pausing in mid-thought as he discusses his healthful lifestyle. He draws to his feet, balances in the private jet’s narrow aisle, points at his crotch, and thrusts his pelvis like a porn star. “I’ll tell you what yoga is good for: Fuuuu-k-ing,” he chimes, in a singsong falsetto, then laughs.

On understanding women: “One of my theories on why I’m so capable of understanding women is that after my parents split, my mom moved in with her brother’s ex-wife—my aunt—who was also newly single,” he says. “So I was living in a house with two jilted women, plus my cousin, who’s more like my sister, and my brother, Michael, who we eventually find out is gay. Just the estrogen alone . . . You know when you’re 14 and terrified to talk to a girl? I didn’t suffer much from that. It seemed very natural to me to talk to girls.”

On loving women: “There’s two kinds of men,” Levine posits. “There are men who are f-cking misogynist pigs, and then there are men who just really love women, who think they’re the most amazing people in the world. And that’s me. Maybe the reason I was promiscuous, and wanted to sleep with a lot of them, is that I love them so much.”

On attention: “I love attention. I can’t stand not having it. It just has to be the right kind. To do what you love, to be with the people you love? That’s all I want. That’s the ‘kwan.’”

[From Details via Evil Beet]

Whatever, Adam. I just hope that this interview helps warn any model with two brain cells to rub together that she should stay far, far away from this douche. This is some John Mayer pre-voice losing sh*t. This guy is believing his own hype, and he will probably continue to believe it until he also faces some sort of life setback that makes him realize he’s a jerk. Some guys never have that epiphany, and it’s long overdue for Adam.

Also, I agree with the Emily at Evil Beet: that’s nice what he said about Christina. But given how he goes on about what a charmer he is, I don’t buy that he’s sincere at all. Creep.

Photos thanks to Details, where there are more.