This whole article is probably an advertisement for a very expensive cheaters website in the UK, similar to AshleyMadison, that I will not name. If you’re really interested in visiting the website you can easily find it on the source article. So it’s hard to know if it’s true. It reminds me a lot of the Samantha Brick “I’m such a hot trophy wife” story in that it seems like an average woman is being used to troll readers and get coverage. It’s so easy to cover this damn story. You just point out that what she’s doing is morally reprehensible and that she’s not particularly attractive. Since what she’s doing is terrible, you have no guilt for focusing on her looks. The end. Only she/the publicist who wrote this brings up a lot of important points about infidelity and the boredom that sets in with long term relationships. I might care more about these issues if the essay wasn’t such a joke. Here’s more, with more at the source and on Female First.
On a personal checklist for my ideal man I’d tick the box “married”.
Married men are better trained. Married men have had all their rough edges sanded off by their wives and know how to behave around a lady.
And married men are better in bed.
I’ve learned that a single man in his 40s is single for a reason.
Either he has no social etiquette whatsoever or he’s a player, just looking for his next wrestle.
A single guy I was on a date with licked his plate in a restaurant.
A married man would never do that because his wife would knock his head off his shoulders.
I do still occasionally date the odd single man in-between to prove a point to myself.
I give them a really good chance on the date. But then I get back to married men.
And I like dating a few at a time.
One of my guys lives in Geneva and sees me every three months. Well, I’m not going to live like a nun while I wait!
I always have a team of men on the go and some on the subs’ bench.
I know some women will despise me. But I am not the temptress here. I am not the evil mistress or a home-wrecking b****.
I am not the girl in the tight skirt in the office who bends herself into an S-shape and says ‘Do you fancy a bit?’ to a married man who has never thought about having an affair…
As a member of IllicitEncounters.com, the dating website for married people, I see men who are actively seeking affairs.
These men pay £134 a month to the site to find a date, so they are definitely looking for someone on the side.
If it wasn’t me, it would be one of the other hundreds of women registered on it.
These men have well and truly made the conscious decision to have an affair.
And their wives should be grateful when it’s me their husbands choose.
Because I am the perfect mistress. I am never going to ask them to leave their wives for me. Most mistresses do, but not me.
If I asked him to leave his wife, in every argument from then on he’d say: ‘Do you know what I gave up for you?’ I don’t ever want to be part of that.
In fact, when one of my men confessed about me to his wife and told me his marriage was over, I finished our affair.
I was horrified. I don’t want to steal someone else’s husband for good, just borrow him for a while.
I know how to behave as a mistress – and I don’t just mean in bed.
I would never ring one of my married men at home at 2am or at the weekend because that’s their time with their family.
I would never throw a hissy fit if they don’t spend Valentine’s, Easter or Christmas with me.
We both know exactly where the goalposts are. That’s the beauty of it all – we’re both open and honest with each other, which must sound ironic, considering my men are not open with their wives.
But that’s how it is.
And yes, I have been confronted by a couple of wives. They called from his phone and said: ‘How do you know my husband?’
I would never be honest and say I was having an affair with them, because that is cruel.
I said they needed to have a discussion with their husbands about why they had a friend’s number that they kept secret.
Usually they have that conversation and work things out and that’s marvellous.
I don’t just date any old married man. I don’t pounce on my friends’ other halves.
I mostly stick with the men on the site because, since it costs so much to join, I get a certain quality of man.
Not that I’m a gold-digger, because I have my own money and am not interested in presents or fancy dinners.
[From Mirror.co.uk]
It goes on, but I’ll spare you. I love how she says it’s “cruel” to tell women their husbands are cheating with her, but how she justifies it as not hurting anyone in this other essay. If this is true, if this woman really feels this way and if she wasn’t just paid to lend her face to this website ad, then of course I think she’s a bad person. She can justify it all she wants, but it’s still obvious what she is. There’s no pride in being a serial mistress. As for why men find her attractive in the first place, it kind of speaks to the phenomenon of cheating. It’s not about looks. I’ve heard that men often cheat “down,” and go for low hanging fruit when it comes to getting some on the side.
Update: Karen has e-mailed us asking us to change the title from “bedding” to “dating.” She writes that she “dates married men occasionally, I certainly haven’t bedded them all.” She adds “I have had enough grief from the article since other sites (who I might add have been sent exactly the same email) have been rewriting what was originally printed. I approved the original story, I have not approved any of the rehashed crap that has followed. People will still think what they want, and judge, but I just prefer the facts out there rather than scandal with no substance.” So this is for real. I’ve been e-mailing with her quite a bit and she’s been pretty decent to me about this whole thing, and about what we wrote about her.
She must be Samantha Brick’s sister!
hahaha! totally.
I find her… Kind… Bear with me people before getting your hackles up!
Let me start with the fact that I do not condone this behavior. At all. But…
There is something to be said on the merits of the sanctity of marriage, speaking as a North American, for I am quite aware that the rest of the world is not following, nor leading, our marital path.
See, here in America, because of our extreme views on relationships often laced with religious beliefs, but saturated with explicit predatory-sexual behavior streamed by our easily-accessed p0rn industry, we have somewhat lost middle ground on relationships, and the meaning of marriage.
Let me ask you honestly: Do you think our music industry encourages women to respect other women’s relationships in general (PussyCat Dolls’ “Don’t you wish your gf was hot like me” lyrics come to mind)?
Do politicians with extremely conservative views encourage the sanctity of marriage by leading by example (hello Appalachian trails and cruise-ship boy-toys)?
How about our thirst for trashy “reality TV” that glorifies women sleeping with their “friends” boyfriends/husbands? (the list is endless).
The difference is, with what this woman is preaching: Kindness.
Haven’t we seen often enough that today’s woman sleeps with another woman’s man simply to prove that she is more attractive… Or even more basically: Because she Can.
In today’s society, we are driven to hurt what we perceive competitors for men’s affections, while shouting on the rooftops the lord’s commandments.
Yet… No man is pushed to take responsibility for his cheating.
Just MHO on this particular subject ladies.
Very intelligent and well-thought post.
I definitely agree with you regarding Americans’ extreme views on relationships & religion.
Awesome post!
Really? Because I saw it very differently. The rest of the world isnt all that different, at least Germany and New Zealand, places I live. It isn’t “kind” to make blanket statements about North America, conservatives, etc. either.
Incredibly well thought post.
Well done.
I agree with you and appreciate your well thought out comment
Very insightful post, thank you.
And in regards to making blanket statements, I just wanted to point out that she wrote “politicians with extremely conservative views”…not saying conservatives in general. I believe she wanted to point out the irony in that out-spoken politicians with conservative or traditional views about marriage do not *always* practice what they preach. IMHO, not a blanket statement about conservatives at all.
I’m liberal too, so TRUST me when I say I’m being genuine! 😀
Thank you very much Ladies (& a gent?). @Mz38, I don’t mind a difference of opinion, and had based my comment on my personal experience, although having lived for a few years in Paris, I’d rather give my all-American impression. Too Liberal as it may be to some… or not.
I love how she says it’s “cruel” to tell women their husbands are cheating with her.
Well, I agree with her! It’s f*cking cruel. Can you imagine? Of all the women in the world, your husband decides to cheat on you with *THAT*?
You beat me to it Eve. My thoughts exactly.
To call her “that” is harsh. She may not have model-looks but the hate for her looks is ridiculous.
Obviously the whole article is a set-up to make women upset… but it is always interesting how much wrath the “other” woman gets and how the men more or less sail through this (only there or some other extremes who would cut of his penis?!)
All in all… this whole fidelity thing is just another ruse to controll people. There may be an outcry but statistics show that about 50% of the people (men AND women) cheat… so step from the soapboxes, girls!
Scylla1974:
I know that — I meant to be harsh and I’m owning it. Especially after reading this part of Celebitchy’s post: “Since what she’s doing is terrible, you have no guilt for focusing on her looks. The end.”
By the way, I said nothing supportive about the married men on this whole thing — mostly because it’s been already said by other posters here and I agree with them.
I also don’t think it was implied (in my comment) that I was excusing them (the married men who date/bed her).
However, I do believe that she’s taking most of the heat because, well, she’s kinda bragging about that, non?
Just because lots of people do something doesn’t make it right. And just because you “can” doesn’t mean you “should.”
@Eve, I agree with you about owning it. This is what I wrote to her about it. She is sensitive to comments about her looks. She was very decent with me in e-mail and we went back and forth about this a few times. She says she wants to change the perspective we have on mistresses as psycho and says a mistress can be “a good friend, she can be someone who doesn’t want him to leave, and she can actually help a stale marriage resurrect itself.” I disagree, but I didn’t get back to her on this yet.
I wrote this to her about why I wrote that she wasn’t particularly attractive:
“I am in a very superficial business, I know, but if you were just a lady talking to the news about how you liked to knit or how you loved your dogs people would say you are lovely, because you are. It’s the fact that you are bragging about cheating as if it’s an accomplishment that makes people pick that out about you. It angers a lot of us because we feel your attitude is unattractive and that gives us a pass to comment on your looks. Anyway I appreciate you emailing with me and being so open.“
@ Celebitchy:
The second paragraph (your answer to her complaint) — that’s pretty much what I think too.
@CB “I am in a very superficial business” that confuses me, does she do this for money or does she mean adultery is an ugly business and people expect superficiality?
@Eve because CB says so it means it is right?
“Since what she’s doing is terrible, you have no guilt for focusing on her looks. The end.”
I disagree. This whole controversy is nothing else but another storm in the waterglas created to pitch women against women. And you fell for it. CB at least admitted that it is just that… a story published to enrage.
@MST: this is true and wasn’t meant as an invitation to cheat. But it is also a fact that cheating happens a lot (from both sides) and people always assume it happens to somebody else. It is a very similar situation with teenage pregnancy and abstinence… if you get my gist.
@ Scylla1974:
Did I say it was right? I CLEARLY said “I meant to be harsh and that I was owning it” BEFORE I pointed out Celebitchy’s remark. Read my comment again and you’ll see it.
I don’t feel like being polite when talking about this woman — if you do feel like that, good for you. My opinion is MY opinion — but you’re trying to impose YOURS on me.
I’m not projecting, I don’t have any particular thoughts on WHY she decided to date married men. I have an opinion about the fact she’s bragging about that and that — and that it’d be humiliating for any woman to be traded down.
P.S.: By the way, I didn’t fall for anything. I’d have posted the same (original) comment hadn’t Celebitchy said that.
P.P.S.: Celebitchy did NOT “admit it was a story published to enrage”, she said it: “it seems like an average woman is being used to troll readers and get coverage” (for the Mirror and the website for cheaters), and then she added “Only she/the publicist who wrote this brings up a lot of important points about infidelity and the boredom that sets in with long term relationships. I might care more about these issues if the essay wasn’t such a joke.
“if you were just a lady talking to the news about how you liked to knit or how you loved your dogs people would say you are lovely, because you are. It’s the fact that you are bragging about cheating as if it’s an accomplishment that makes people pick that out about you. It angers a lot of us because we feel your attitude is unattractive and that gives us a pass to comment on your looks”
Best post in the house CB.
I agree with you Eve. If the men were going about bragging about cheating on their wives, then we would give them hell. But since it’s the mistress coming forward and bragging, then she gets what she’s asking for. If my boyfriend was cheating on me with that, I would be mortified. However, it kind of says something about the world that if I was being cheated on and it was with someone who looks like her, then the world would probably blame me as I wasn’t doing something or doing something that made him cheat and he was so desperate that he settled for whatever. So the women trying to make the point that men and women are treated differently in this type of situation, I agree, but not about the mistress but about the woman being cheated on. Look at what the tabloids have made Jennifer Aniston and Demi Moore look like, pathetic and desperate and needy. Sure, sometimes they don’t help but sometimes it’s unfair. Rant over.
I thought Bruce Vilanch retired?
I’m with you, Eve!
not to be overtly mean, but this has to be a joke…
the kind of joke that makes you want to throw up in your mouth
I read this article on DM. LOL it is quite reminiscent of Samantha Brick. But I believe her. Cheating for the most part has nothing to do with looks but boy I’d be pissed if my man EVER cheated on me with that. What a classless idiot, I cannot stand women who do not see a problem in sleeping with married men. It is disgusting at the very least.
Agreed. It’s not always physical. Some women, and men, just have a little sparkle that the opposite sex (or same sex) find appealing. It’s chemistry. It’s animal attraction. Cheating isn’t right, and if you know your sexbot is already hooked, you are just as guilty. Takes two, people. I will be going the Lorena Bobbitt route if my darling let’s his d*ck wander.
My plan is the opposite. Cut off every other appendage, but leave that one. He can’t get to it, but it will remind him what, exactly, got him into all this mess. I explained this one to MrTarheel before we said I Do…”You will have to crawl on four bloody stumps down the front steps of MY house if you ever think about laying a finger on another woman. Look all you want-touch and you’re dead.”
Agree! It’s about a man who has a d#%k and want’s it sucked and the pretty wife won’t do it for her own reasons!So ugly will!! Maybe he is an a#$-o but she dosen’t deserve that s#%t!!!!!
We can thank Samantha Brick who open the door for this lady to come forward with her story…. #roll-eyes# I shudder to think who would be the next one…
Co-sign!
i just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years, if she can find men why can’t I?? should i be depressed?? should i go on that website and get myself a married man too? too bad i believe in karma..I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if i’d have an affair with a married man. i’m hopeless right?? :p
She’s not finding good men, just the selfish and dishonest ones. Hang in there, a good guy will find you when you’re not paying attention.
True!
@ paola
don’t feel bad. I bet the men this sow attracts are guaranteed to give you an std at the very least. Nothing enviable about her at all. & few all know how this story’ll end
yes, good point..i’d rather be single for the rest of my life..
soooooo agree with you. eeew. not even with a bag over her head would she be able to score a halfway decent looking bloke.
Have you tried going where the men are? Developing hobbies and interests such as a Chess Club, an investment group, etc., would put you in proximity, and that’s more than half the battle.
Good Luck!
we broke up 5 weeks ago..he said he ‘needs time’.. lame isn’t it? anyway i’m not ready to date yet, but i do go to places where men are, i am a runner, i do marathons and i run 4 days a week with men all around but all i see is married men!!! i just have to wait and be ready and good things will come along 🙂
Sounds like your ex wants to play the field again and if he can’t find anything he might call you again.
If he didn’t appreciate you in the first place I would say No Thank you. Now it’s mine time to think about it.
I know..but 5 years is a long time, should i really just throw everything away because of a moment of insecurity? i am very confused at the moment..and i went out on a date on monday night, it felt so very wrong and i just wanted to scream even if the guy was really nice, polite and very funny. it is me, not ready yet.
paoloa, hang in there girl! Yes, five years is a long time, long enough to shape your world and color your thoughts & feelings in many ways. But you are going to get through this – just try not to fret about the ex too much (he’ll most likely be back at your door again one of these days – and who knows, you might not want him back by then). And don’t feel bad either if you can’t get interested in other men yet. It takes as long as it takes. My advice, if this is at all feasible, is to get a new pet. Nothing makes us forget our heartaches faster than a little friend to cuddle and adore, it gives life a different rhythm and something positive to offset the negative. In any case, I know break ups are NEVER easy and I wish you strength sister.
Paola, sounds like your ex wants to date other women and I bet he already has another piece on the side. The old “I need time” line. IF things don’t work out, I guarantee you he will be calling you trying to come back. Some women take these men back (sadly). These type of men never grow up and take responsibility. They’re always on the “look out” for something better in their twisted little minds.
i know for sure it’s not about women, he told me, many people told me, his mother and sister told me..it’s a money issue, debts he has to pay off and he’s now depressed and very negative towards life in general. I guess only time will give me the answers i need. i try to keep my mind busy and i always try to smile and minimize the pain but i know i am not well.
I am sorry Paola, I truly hope you and your BF work it out. Life is hard all the time, but there are beautiful moments we created. Hang in there. 🙂
thank you.. Life is a bitch sometimes but maybe something good will come along. I’ll be waiting for that moment ^_^
This is in reply to Paola…I was with my ex husband for 15 years and he walked out on me because he had to “think about things” I told him in no uncertain terms if he walked out the door it was over. And he still walked out on me and our son (who was in 1st grade at the time). This was AFTER I put up with his gambling/drinking issues for years. Then I found out he had been lying to me about his activities for months. I feel for you because it sucks when you have been with someone for so long and they just abandon you. I supported him in his attempt to get clean and sober after he left and even tried to go on a date or two with him after but it just didn’t feel right and I stuck with my original ultimatum. Surprisingly after all of this I met my husband online on a dating/hook up website. It was a free one and full of freaks and people looking to cheat but somehow I managed to negotiate my way through all of those folks to a very real, very nice (single!) man. It did feel really weird to date someone else after having been with my ex for so long but I gave it a chance and it developed into a relationship that was all I have ever dreamed of. My husband is the love of my life. So hang in there and life may just surprise you!
You know where I found a lot of single guys when I was single? The sushi bar at sushi places. Its perfect because its no big deal if you go there alone because you’re just getting some all you can eat sush, married guys wont hide their rings because they aren’t expecting to meet women there (like at a bar), it’s a perfect place to talk to people without it being weird(sake helps), and single sushi eaters always appreciate another sushi fan.
You’re dead on right with that one. A family member works the bar at a sushi restaurant and he has girls coming in all the time flirting with him.
Paola, just read through the thread of comments to where you posted that his reasons for breaking up have to do with his debt right now. I can understand if he doesn’t want to ask or have his girlfriend offer to help him. BUT… if this is how he reacts when things get tough, then it is probably a blessing in disguise that you two broke up. (I say this from personal experience; looking back, I now refer to it as “dodging a bullet.”)
I offered to help, and he kindly refused saying it has to do it on hiw own while my answer was ‘It’s just money, no big deal of it! it just sits in the bank doing nothing so i’d be happy to use it to help you’. i guess his ego is bigger than his love for me..but after 5 years in a long distance relationship i really thought it was going to end up with us being together finally happy under the same roof. I’ll take your advice.. i haven’t called him since and if he wants he has to make the move not me. He walked out of my life so he is the one tha has to walk back in. Thank guys anyway, i really appreciate your support! you’re the best
Paola dear, this troll takes the other’s trash. You’re a celebitch, so you seem to be smart and classy ( like all of uslol ). I met my husband in a bakery, after two failed engagements. See ? No one knows what’s next, and I wish you the best.
Yes you’re right, i’ma celebitch! I should never forget that! I was talking to a friend earlier and she said i sound really good on paper (for someone who doesn’t know me): ’32 years old, blonde, gren eyes, architect, marathonist, can speak backwards and have great sense of humour, speak 3 languages, generous and classy, with great taste on shoes (quite proud about this one)’. I just don’t want to end up with a douchebag to avoid the fear of being alone forever..and sometimes i look around and i see horrible women being perfectly happy with submissive husbands. I don’t want that either..
@paola: 5 weeks after a break up; you are still mourning and missing him. I wouldn’t even consider dating for a while longer. I think what you are doing right now is best. Just staying busy. Think about this time as a way to get back to YOU. Concentrate on yourself, and go out and have a blast with your girlfriends.
The only way what this woman is doing would ever be okay, is if the wife knew her husband strays with this woman and is okay with it. Well, it wouldn’t be OKAY, but if a couple has an open marriage, that is their choice. Otherwise, Karen (didn’t catch her last name), is not only breaking girl (woman) code, she can possibly destroy people’s lives completely. There is no honor in what she is doing. And the truth is, the reason she is only a mistress is most likely because the men she “dates” wouldn’t want the public to know that they are with her.
@paola – you’re in the same boat as I am. We wouldn’t consider going after a man in a relationship with someone else and, if that man we thought was great but was in a relationship showed an interest in straying with us, we wouldn’t think he was so great anymore (or we’d understand he had issues in his relationship and that he needed to deal with those openly with his partner but we would not interject ourselves into that relationship by engaging in a romantic or sexual one with the guy while he has other business to figure out)
I just think of the other woman as if she was me..i think she might even think her marriage is flawless and that her husband is perfect when he’s a cheating scumbag.
i also believe that this woman who’s sleeping with married men has made a choice in life, good or bad is not for us to tell, but if she isn’t friends with any of these wives than she can do what she wants because i think it’s the men we have to blame here! these men visit the website with the only purpose of cheating on their women!!
Paola, this might sounds cliche but I sincerely believe that you do not have to worry about finding the next one right away.
You’ve been in a long relationship, and I think instead of trying to find his replacement right away, this is the time for you to just enjoy being yourself for a while. Do something that you like but rarely do because your ex doesn’t like it, or do something that perhaps on your wish list. Pamper yourself. 🙂 And if you’re sad, then cry. You don’t need to keep on pretending strong all the time. Surround yourself with the people who care about you (friends, families) and would listening to your feeling.
I really believe that if it’s not meant to be then it won’t happen. You are doing the right thing now. Stay busy and just wait for the right one to come along. Don’t go out on date again when you’re not ready. I saw what happened with my girl friend who did that every time she broke up. It never ended well. Give yourself some time.
I co-sign this. Cry if you must. But be confident in yourself, no need to rush out in finding a new one. Everything happens for a reason. Oh, and have a blast pampering yourself first!!
Paola dear, sorry, I know I’m late to the meeting of the Our Fellow Celebitches Support Group, but let me tell you three things I learned in my life (from one 32 year old to another, I had my birthday yesterday):
1. Go after how you feel. And by that I don’t mean: “Dream about what life would be like if it were perfect and he were just a tad different”. What I mean is: Acknowledge your feelings. If you are sad, cry a river, if you are mad – feel it, accept it.
2. Talk to your friends. They know what it’s like, they’ve been there, they love you. Let it out.
3. Don’t ever, and I mean EVER, even consider doing things in a certain way which is not exactly your style but which might or might not work in oder to get him back/interested/keep him interested.
If you being you is not enough for him, it will certainly have to be enough for you. The End.
Thank you so much..i’ll keep everything in mind. I am happy with myself the way i am, not planning to change for somebody else, i just can’t pretend to be someone i’m not! But thanks for the Celebitches support, i’m loving the pampering 🙂
@paola, you sound like a catch! If I weren’t married woman I might think about switching teams for you 😉
But in all seriousness, hang in there!
@Sauvage – as one former 32-year old to a current one, let me just say that is superb advice
Sauvage, that was sort of super brilliant advice!
@ Paola we are here for you.
You have to do what is best for you. I dated my husband for four years before we got engaged. I told myself if he hasn’t asked by our fourth anniversary, he will never know and gave myself an internal ultimatum and would have absolutely left.
He asked the week before on a ski trip. Pretty good timing.
Take care of YOU and do what is best. Take confident control of yourself. You’ve got the determination for an endurance sport, so I know you have what it takes to make it. Good luck!
Savage is right. So give yourself some time, Paola, and someone far better, not unsure, someone who values you will show up. It happened to me. And every day I am smiling, so happy that my ex skid off (though he took most of my money) because when I was done being sad and absolutely not looking, I became friends with, then dated, then married a kind, hot, smart, strong man who can make laugh too. You sound fantastic and one day you will be smiling again, you’ll see. Love. Trust in it. As for this mistress, a friend in website marketing tells me these sites have many more men than women….they need $ so they throw the “true stories” of women like this out there to encourage all sorts of lonely women to click over the cash and sign up. It is a ploy for a tacky sad web business. You and this person have nothing in common! you are fab. She is faux. Now hang in there. Life will bring you happiness. Sorry for the long post!!
@paola, cosign on all this great advice.
Either he reacts really poorly to money problems (breaking up will help? wtf?!) or he doesn’t want to go into his actual reasons and is using this as an excuse.
I’d bet my life that he’ll come crawling back to you sooner or later. I hope you DON’T take him back. And this is from someone who has made that mistake too many times – it very rarely works out. After 5 years, if it was meant to be, he’d be trying to solidify the relationship, not run away.
I wish you all the best, hang in there, the first couple months are the hardest.
@ Paola: Glad to hear that. Hang in there, honey.
@ The Original Tiffany, Liberty and Ol’Cranky (love your name BTW): Thank you for your kindness!
I just woke up ( I live in Europe) and i found all these kind messages from some really nice bitches i don’t know personally..but i love every each of you for saying some of the most simpathetic things and for showing support to another woman instead of digging in like other women would do. You really are the best! So nice seeing so many women gather around and giving some really good advices..i really really really appreciate this! you made my day! 🙂
Honey, I used this to find my hubby (or allow him to find me): starmatch dot com, which is an astrological, international dating site and has an absolutely spot-on section for compatibility reports (and you don’t have to pay for them!). No matter how you met a potential guy (another dating site, at a sushi bar (wink) etc, you can pop their info into the algorithm and see what your compatibility rating is. Not a joke! Scarily accurate. Note that the site isn’t well advertised, women can register for free (I think) – as long as you know the other person’s complete birthdate and exact place of birth, the site gives you a rating between 1 and 10 of how compatible you are in the areas of love, or friendship or business. Not supposed to even talk to someone less than a 9 match. One guy I looked at was a -2 match!! Scary! Met my New Zealand based husband while I was in the States after he found me on this site, used THE RULES books, and now it is 8 years and 2 little ones later 😉
Very interesting, i’ll try it now!!!
i guess the mirror saw how a preachy, holier-than-thou, defensive woman benefit daily mails traffic count, they decide to get one for themselves.
this one going the exact opposite than samantha brick (the submissive wife).
This was clearly written by a man for the site. They keep sneaking in comments and sentiments that boost the site. “I’m not that I’m a golddigger, I have my own money”, “I would never tell their wives”, “I hate young single men and love old fat married ones”.
Ridiculous and, for an English website, really poorly written. I would have guessed it was from someone who spoke English as a second language.
What an insult to the wife if her husband cheats on her with someone who looks like this!
Some people think I’m beautiful, and my husband cheated on me with someone you wouldn’t look at twice. I couldn’t believe it either.
As a wise man once said to me, “the only difference between your marriage and a lot of marriages is opportunity”.
And, for the record, I’m still with the husband. He came clean, we had counseling and I forgave him.
Cheating has nothing to do with something lacking in the wife, nor “hotness” in the mistress. It’s because the person who is cheating feels like there’s something lacking in themselves.
And she must be sleep with husbands of weak assed wifes cause something like would not still look like that if she had sleep with my husband but then my husband has better taste….LOL after all he married me…
Seriously, this is bullshyt british style….I don’t doubt she sluts around and sleeps with anything that will lay down with her but I gareantee she is the one who makes the first move on the man not the other way round…
men dont care much about looks when they cheat, it just has to be something they can stick something in whereas women tend to cheat with men of higher status than their partner.
its advertising and im getting really sick of that. cheating is bad enough but earning money with wrecking homes? classy!
it also makes people feel as its totally normal and not a big deal to cheat. EVERYONE DOES IT AND YOU SHOULD TOO.
betrayal is always wrong and in times like ours with so many STDs its downright criminal to not break up with someone and instead cheat on them and risk their health.
especially because nowadays you have the freedom to choose your partner. in the western world there are no arranged marriages, you can divorce without being a social outcast and you can have sex before marriage. i can understand people who cheated without all those possibilites, you were forced to marry someone who you didnt know and maybe there was someone else you already loved. but nowadays? digusting.
Well said!
+1
Great post!
So we have a whole article about a woman that admits to loving to date married men and having affairs. Yet most of the comments are geared toward her looks? Shouldn’t you be more outraged there are lots of women out there like this? Women are often more concerned with women’s looks than men. Most men I know prefer an overweight woman over a really thin (meaning stick thin/boy build) woman. Why is it we’re unforgiving with overweight women? Its out of our insecurities, not the preferences of men. We are afraid we’re going to get fat, because someone else dares to be fat. Some men like the chunk, some like the bone. However, women criticize all women’s bodies don’t they? i completely agree with your post 🙂
Thank you Julie, THANK YOU. I totally agree.
“Open” marriages (which make no sense whatsoever – marriages are a committment to be with only one person) and “liberal” attitudes are just disasters waiting to happen. When you are sexually intimate with someone other than your spouse, you will hurt the feeling of your spouse, who won’t feel truly loved or “good enough”. This is an age-old truth, no matter how we try to make it more “open”…
for the open marriage: nothing for me. but those people are at least honest with each other.
there is no betrayal. as i said i couldnt live with that but if a couple agrees on that and there is nothing behind the back its their thing.
i read upon those couples some even have a veto right for new partners.
but those are a very rare breed, where really both partners like to live like that. in most cases someone puts up with the crap because he/she is afraid of being alone or has other insecurities.
i guess this whole open marriage stuff is because people want to portray themselves as open minded minded and not people who are too weak to say no.
I think it’s less about how she looks than what she is willing to do with these men.
Susan you are correct, men don’t cheat because the other woman may be hotter than the wife. One of the many reasons they cheat is because the other woman does things the wife does not. Example: a BJ. I talk to a lot of men, that is the number one thing they all want but their GF or wives don’t do. (no I don’t date married men) these guys are friends of mine.
The fact is, everyone who reads this is thinking the same – even if she had beer-flavored gold-plated nips, I think the technical term is ‘moose’ (sorry, it’s true). If my husband cheated on me with that, I think I’d be too busy laughing in pity to rip his balls off straight away.
I think if my husband would cheat on me with her, I would wonder what does she do that I don’t. Men who cheat with her are not doing it for looks. She gives married men what they don’t get at home. If it were only about looks, cheating would cease to exist.
I’d take his balls first, then point at him Nelson’s style. ” HA HA”
Monkey, ITA! I would forgive him just so I could make fun of him for the REST OF HIS LIFE!! HA HAHA hahaha!!!
I had a coworker whose husband (now ex) justified his cheating to her by saying “She was ugly.” For some reason that didn’t make the betrayal or STD he gave her any easier to cope with.
I’m glad she kicked his arse to the curb!
I think anyone who cheats will justify what they are doing no matter what. There’s a good chance anyone who’s spent any time in the bars has heard at least one story about how horrible someone’s wife is treating them, or that she doesn’t take care of herself, or that she doesn’t understand me “like you do” etc. Whatever helps people sleep at night, I guess.
Who was ugly? The wife or the mistress? I need to know before I pick my words for that low life scum of a man your poor coworker now (thankfully) calls her ex-husband.
Why do people feel the need to overshare? Don’t they have a friend to tell them to STFU?
^^ this
What she’s doing is deplorable, but the fact that she felt like she needed to make something this shameful public, ugh.
Everyone overshares now. It’s the new go-to method for people to get their 5 seconds in the spotlight. Even “real” celebrities are constantly oversharing to maintain their fame. I wish it would JUST STOP.
She is ugly on the inside AND the outside.
Miss Piggy should stick to chasing Kermit and leave the married guys alone.
awww..you beat me to it!! Miss Piggy for sure: ugly on the outside and in.
ha ha sorry 😀 Those were the first words that popped into my head when I checked out this story…
Cosign with everyone who said men don’t care about what the lady looks like when it comes to sex. Case in point: My dad has a friend who HIS friends refer to as “buck fifty” because – now, this is his FRIENDS, not him saying this – you can fit 6 quarters in the gap between her first 2 teeth. She’s not a very attractive lady…and, standing at about 300 at 5’2″, her body doesn’t make up for it. However, she gets laid more than anyone I know. Men LOVE her. Why? Because she puts out. Not the kind of life I’d like, but I guess in her case, quantity is better than quality. She doesn’t make a habit of sleeping with married men though.
As for this chick right here…she’s revolting.
Exactly! And these dudes are not exactly parading her around town. Or bringing her to work or family functions. Her usefulness is in the dark.
Okay, if this is a marketing trick, it’s not a very good one because let’s face it, men might not care that much about looks when they cheat but they certainly do when all they can go by is a picture.
IF this is real, I understand that many women despise this one but …. why is everyone here sh*tting on her like this is ALL her fault? I think it’s vile to seek out married men in particular and I don’t tolerate my girlfriends getting it on with married men (meaning I end the friendship when worst comes to worst). Women shouldn’t do that to one another.
But can we get a little perspective here? MEN pay money to get on this site. They pay to find women to have affairs with. As in, this is not a dumb drunken mistake, a one night stand, something that unfortunately happened for one reason or another. It’s not like a woman pursues them relentlessly and after a while they give in to the temptation. They make the conscious decision to go online and find someone to cheat on their wives with.
I’m sorry but at least she isn’t the one breaking any vows or violating trust. She’s a b*tch but she’s not lying or cheating. Men are.
Amen. I have witnessed so many situations where the cheated-on girlfriend attacks the other woman instead of the man who betrayed her trust. Ridiculous.
Yeah, me too. I’ve also seen the wife attacked (no wonder he cheated with me!) and both times I nipped that sh*t in the bud. I mean, come ON! One time the only one who came out of the whole mess relatively unscathed was the husband. I almost vomited. And yes, ended the friendship with the mistress in question because I don’t need that in my life.
I understand the impulse to hate the other woman (NOT the wife) but at the end of the day, can we focus on the dude who’s being a pig?
I wonder how any of her friends can respect her or even stand to be around her though.
I hate hearing people justify an affair because the wife wasn’t “up to par” in some sense (yes I know women cheat too, I’m just writing from the female perspective). It’s as if someone cheats with a less than ideal (physically) individual, that’s horrible, but kind of understandable if they happen to be hot (doesn’t matter if said hot person happens to have a horrific personality or issues).
I agree. Any time you try to blame the wife you’re basically admitting you’re feeling guilty and defensive.
I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been there with girlfriends whose bf/husband cheated and we were bashing the other woman without mercy. But I never let there be any doubt that I thought the husband was the no. 1 pig there.
When one of my friends started calling the wife of the guy she was “dating” (whatever) all sorts of names and brought the “I’m prettier anyway” argument, I cut her off and told her to not talk about the wife that way in front of me. She didn’t get it. So your butt is cuter than hers? SHE HAD HIS CHILDREN!
I think in general, looks have very little to do with cheating and it’s such a stupid way out of the conversation.
Because SHE is the subject of the article and SHE is the one who is out there. I’ve already gone off at my father twice on this thread because he is a cheater I know.
These pigs aren’t out there taking to the DM and justifying their actions so all I can say is “these pigs”.
I read her article on the DM also. I almost feel sorry for her. She has no respect for herself or other women. She’s nothing but a cheap wh*re, how pathetic. But the kind of men who go cheat on their wives with her are just as bad. The whole situation is sad.
Guess Kermie kicked her butt to the curve and she’s slumming.
“As a member of IllicitEncounters.com, the dating website for married people, I see men who are actively seeking affairs.”
What an absolutely charming idea for a website. Vileness all round.
Was on the daily mail earlier and read this story. I headed over to the comments section and was mortified by the comments some men made. It was all in the vein of “if your husband cheats on you it’s your fault cause your dirty, ugly, unexciting.. ” . It just goes to show you that men’ll try to justify their behaviour. Smh
women are not different in those things 🙂
women will use “he is better in bed than my husband” or “my partner didnt give me enough attention”. thats just the same only in nicer words.
once again, good marketing.
they really know what pushes buttons in female readers.
it’s so easy…
Exactly.
+2
Looking at the mistresses of Arnold Swarzenegger, John Edwards, Jessie James, Tiger Woods, Ethan Hawke, Shania Twain’s husband, Prince Charles…PRINCE CHARLES people, yeah, her claim is believable. Most men don’t cheat on their wives for a hopa.
Exactly. Men tend to marry attractive women, well mostly, but the mistresses are, let’s just say, not very attractive. Women don’t get that SOME men will cheat with an ugly woman because he can get more from her than he can with another beautiful (possibly very high maintenance) woman. Also, men will screw ANYTHING. They won’t brag about it or even tell their other male friends, but they would screw Jethrine Bodine if she was avaialble.
Disclaimer: I absolutely do not condone.cheating.
With that said, to say they pick ugly women to cheat with just b/c they can get more from them than a pretty one simply isn’t true.
PLENTY of beautiful women are mistresses. Plenty of beautiful wives are just that. Beautiful wives- nothing more. And sometimes that average looking chick w/a great personality and no demands will scoop get your man. Or maybe they find a woman that never wants to be emotionally tied (probably like the woman that wrote this commentary) & seeks married men for no strings fun (which isn’t necessarily sex)
I don’t claim to know why men or women cheat, but I do know that men love attention (and I don’t mean just sex) & to feel valued just like women do. When they aren’t getting that at home, many (not all, but many) will seek it elsewhere whether it’s sexual or emotional.
Relationships take work. Love has never been, and will never be enough to keep it going. If both participants don’t work on it, somebody either cheats, stays but is miserable the rest of the time, or the relationship just goes bust.
@ Lukie… i agree, well said. So agree with all statements about laying blame on the men as well. Why does the cheater get a pass and everyone thinks it’s about the person who was cheated on? Cheaters have a character flaw like any other kind of liar that doesn’t give a flip about the consequences of their lie.
@CJ: I don’t know. I always blame the cheater, b/c they are the one that was supposed to honor their commitment in the first place.
If my husband cheats he better be cheating with someone that had Angelina Jolie’s looks and figure about 10 years back. If I caught him in bed with this turd I wouldn’t even know what to think of myself.
😀
not that i’m on her side, but funny how people are so quick to have a go at her rather than the men who are cheating on their partners….
… and also, those who are so quick to make negative statements about her looks – can we see a picture of you and do the same please? :/
we’re having a go at her and not the men because the men have some sense enough not to have gone out of their way to go to a publication and cheese for photo ops and brag about their infidelities, perhaps if they did, they would endure our wrath as well, but it looks like the believe in discretion on SOME level.
the mistress is often more attacked than the cheating guy thats right but in this case the article is about the mistress so she will get attacked.
They paid to be on this site… we know they are hateful pigs, liars, disease spreaders and abusers who probably enjoy toying with the wife and/or the mistress.
This article is about Karen not about the men. I already said below that as the daughter of a man like this that my vitriol is directed toward my father not the women fell for his BS… my mom fell for his BS too – except she was “lucky” that he was single at the time and got a wedding ring out of it that we could pawn later.
Karen is bad because she is actively seeking married men vs. getting trapped in a web by one.
I read this a few weeks ago when it first surfaced. I went from cracking up to scratching my head. She’s bold to be posing and cheesing like it’s all good, so you KNOW some of the dudes she’s been with are sweating bullets! As for how unsavory she looks, keep underestimating brawds out here…LOL I would be willing to believe that she grew up with issues about her looks/weight and that’s part of the reason why she attains this lifestyle and so unapologetically and the fact that she can get so many married and attached men to wine and dine her is some kind of validation for her. It’s moreso the arrogance she’s exhibiting while cheesing that galls me and can’t move me to sympathize with her on ANY level. Not to mention, I think she’s trying to convince HERSELF that she’s really ok with this lifestyle, total bullshit!
This all sounds like publicity nonsense to try to attract customers to a (disgusting) website.
Yeah, I kinda think that cheaters’ website is paying her to air her dirty laundry like this.
On the other hand, if this is an advertisement in disguise, why didn’t they pick someone more attractive? Maybe this was the best they could do.
“Men would not be able to cheat if all women had respect for each other” (my mother used to say).
As a young girl I was raised to respect other women and not compete, but protect them.
I’m totally straight, but I ADORE and admire women and would not ever take a woman’s husband from her and her babies or do anything to endanger her marriage.
This lady is part of the problem of why some women cannot bond with other women and form proper support groups within their circles.
I am proud to be on a different planet than this lady.
(end of my self-righteous moment)
it sounds nice but there is a problem. what if you dont know that the person who you are sleeping with is in a relationship? cheaters also lie.
remember the secret service story from a couple of weeks ago? those men took of their wedding rings. so how could have one of those women/strippers/prostitutes have known?
so even if you have deep respect for other women someone could lie to you and you could be a mistress without knowing.
Yeah I agree men can be sneaky. But if an alarm goes off, women should be viligant.
Unfortunantly the world is evolving into a biosphere that exploits women and creates a “have your cake and eat it too” planet for men.
Trust me this is no accident. Its all being set up by design.
I predict in 20 years your husbands will be free to frockick after you have one baby. And your daughters will be taught and indoctrinated to marry 50 yr. old men.
This is the gross social system being set up globally by men.
Mooshi you are spot on. Also, the wives will be the only partner working whilst the fathers stay home and manage the childcare provider.
Mooshi, its certainly not only men. i dont like just bashing people based on their gender. men have a very bad reputation but im also not agreeing with the positive reputation women have in cheating. women cheat as often as men do. women are better at hiding it (is it a good quality to be better a lying?) and a woman who gets cheated on gets all the sympathy in the world (rightly so) whereas a cheated on guy gets ridiculed (small penis, loser in bed etc)
back at home there was a married woman who had a child from her affair and no problem lying to her husband and making him pay for it. it all only came out because he had some strange disease and they checked the dna of the children if they inherit it.
there are so many “milksmans children” (children from another guy) that we really shouldnt only bash men for cheating.
personally i acutally know more females who cheated than men (seven women and two men). (and i dont say all women cheat because of that)
Hopefully you have enough SELF respect to refrain from bedding someone you know so little about.
You make an excellent point. It may sound unrealistic but it’s true: if women stood together on this issue there would be a lot less heartbreak. After all a man can’t cheat if the women aren’t willing.
Unfortunately many women view it as a great victory if they can steal another woman’s man. Never made sense to me because then all you have won is a cheater.
I feel that if my boyfriend tried to cheat and the girl said no, he would still be a cheater. Trying to cheat and being unable to get any doesn’t make him not a cheater, it makes him an unlucky cheater.
I just love how she complains about how sites are “rehashing” her article. So she “approves” this story, but then thinks nobody has a right to comment or have an opinion to it? Just reading the story–nobody is twisting her words. What she does sounds bad. It doesn’t matter if she didn’t sleep with the married man or not. To me it makes little difference.
THANK YOU Amy! That’s a point some of here are trying to make! If you’re unapologetic about your choices as wrong as they may be, it’s still your life to live how you please. But what is the point of going public to a newspaper? Why would one be so bold to go that route unless they were in dire need of another form of attention or trying to use another avenue to convince themselves that what they’re doing is justified because something is running EXTEMELY low on their validation meter? You made the decision to put yourself out there, you have to live with the consequences of that choice, even a “small technicality” and play on words from “sleeping with” and “dating”, that makes it no better.
*Tanya Turner voice*
You can dress it up however you’d like love, you’re still a dirty slag on the make!
Not buying it.
Leeann Rimes has found her soul sister. There’s something very wrong with only dating married men.I don’t understand why a a women would go after a man who is not really available. They say there are lots of reasons why people cheat. I think it’s such bad karma to go into a ” relationship” knowing full well that this could or will break up a family. It show’s such contempt to the wives, girlfriends, partners to go after their men. She’s not married, the men who are married and are cheating with this cow are gross. The whole story is so DISGUSTING. I hope that as women we support one another. We should have this unwritten contract that we respect each other and have a sisterhood. makes me so sick. Men are men, not to excuse their actions. But we’re smarter, we should lift each other up, not destroy each other.
I ended a friendship with a woman who started dating a married guy who I introduce her to. (he was a friend of mine) She started developing feelings for him (he was having issues at home already) this was my ex friend’s opportunity to move in on him I guess. I think she is dirty and a little whore in sheep clothing. I hope the relationship ends badly, is that wrong of me? yes, do I care if it’s wrong of me to feel that way? no
i also ended a friendship because of cheating. a good girlfriend of mine cheated on her boyfriend with multiple guys. how could i trust her if she betrays her partner?
I agree, if she is willing to betray her BF who she claims to love, and he also trusted her. Whose to say she would not betray your friendship also? Cheaters lack moral compass, they would not think twice about betraying anyone.
being this judgmental, you’re going to have to lose alot of friends as you go through life.
life is long and complicated.
you will also find yourself doing things you never thought you would do.
Jackie, we all judge you just judged me for being judgmental. 🙂 I agree with part of your comment, sometimes we find ourselves doing things we never thought we would BUT……cheating is a choice and I choose not to do that. Life is about choices, I don’t agree with the “I had no choice” line. I am 42 years old believe me, I know about life being “long and complicated” As for my ex-friend? the story is too long for me to post here, she plotted to get him away from his wife and friends. The group of us who use to hang? he is not allowed to be around anymore. So yes, the bitch deserves my judgement “friends” like her I don’t need around.
jazzmin, those are important details! lol… someone plotting and scheming is quite different from someone who ill-advisedly (is this a word lol) falls in love with a married man, etc.
I would never drop a friend simply because she got involved with a married man. However, if she was scheming to *home-wreck* (still hate that word) I’d be hard pressed to maintain a friendship with her. Not sure why you were friends with someone who seems so nasty to begin with?
@ the originalkitty I did not know she was so dirty..her truth came out after. When I am friends with someone I don’t judge them right away. I like to get to know people, give them a chance. Everyone deserves that at least, but she deceived me and others. He is already talking about buying her an engagement ring, get this: HE IS STILL MARRIED TO HIS WIFE!!
@Jazzmin-gotcha about the “no judgement” thing. Anyway, this guy sounds like a total shit too. I hope his wife gives him hell.
I think it can depend on the friendship. A friend that you’ve known your entire life who for whatever reason, makes the poor decision to “go there”, I’d be less likely to bolt (and haven’t). Someone who’s more of an acquaintance or with who you party on the weekends or something, not a huge bond, yeah sorry, I’m less likely to take on that kind of drama for you.
It also depends greatly on what they expect of you as a friend in this situation. I backed away from one “friend” because she started asking to take the guy back to my place, and another because I was tired of having to look all the people she was screwing in the eye, as well as her husband. If they’re asking you to lie for them / give them alibis, they had better have one hell of a good reason and also be one hell of an otherwise good friend. And they most definitely should not be inviting that drama to your doorstep (literally, as in angry partners showing up)
calling this woman a plotting, dirty bitch, and whore is fanatical to me.
i could understand being shocked and dismayed, but this kind of rhetoric is beyond extreme.
too bad the days are gone when you could make her wear a scarlet letter, or better yet, burn her at the stake.
I had a “friend” like that, more of a coworker. I couldn’t stand being around such behavior.
She was claimed women didn’t like her because they were jealous of her. That is always a warning sign.
Maybe they didn’t like her because she was always trolling for married men (well ANY men).
Based on the women that many celebrity and politician men have cheater with, I tend to think most “other women” tend to look like this woman. They are ordinary looking women.
Pop culture has tricked us into thinking that people cheat with someone who is drop dead gorgeous, however the reality is that this is frequently not the case.
I’ve been having an affair for the past two years and it absolutely tore me apart. Very painful and will never put myself through another one ever again. How does she do all these married guys and not get attached?
Maybe because she has affairs with multiple men, and you invested/wasted two years on only one married man.
Good lord. People sure can be selfish heartless jerks. There is never a good reason to do such an ugly thing to another. It isn’t just wives who get hurt by this kind of distructive behavior but whole families. I don’t care if it’s married men or the mistress they are both disgusting examples of humanity.
^ Yes!
also, might be unrelated to this case,
but, i know some women (not many, maybe one or two) in my social circle that are only attracted to married/taken men (not necessarily married, but just someone’s boyfriend/fiancee/etc).
i’m not sure why. is it a biological trigger, or pheromones, or what?
we use to tell them, “psst, you’re hitting on someone’s who’s taken”, and they’ll be like “i know, that’s the thing.”
and they really say that they can’t help it. they even say that if this is the case, and society being what it is, they might never marry.
(actually one of them became a second wife of a guy.
but for the others, they seem to resign themselves not marrying)
it really strains relationships sometimes. even though those women said that they would never target men of friends, but some of the other women became really paranoid, despite repeated assurances by the others.
it’s really complicated in the whole friendship dynamics. and that’s not including the men who act funny around these women too.
Just guessing, but maybe those women have low self esteem. If they can bag someone who is taken, it’s like they were chosen over another, so it gives them a shot of self-worth…but it doesn’t last. Probably why they can’t maintain relationships and won’t marry as well.
@Jordon-I am going to guess that self-esteem that’s the issue. It’s ego. The same impulse to “steal”.
I’ve wondered why some people are like this as well-it’s not just the grass is greener. It’s like a partner has to value unless someone is involved forst.
I have a male friend who is only interested in married women. He has more baggage than anyone I know and for whatever reason doesn’t even WANT a relationship with a potential for commitment.
People are strange.
Someone’s Daddy didn’t live them enough. Probably why she copes with depression, insecurities and possibly trauma with promiscuity and over eating.
Eww. IF this is true, I’d have no sympathy for her. What she partakes in is disgusting. But this does reek of Samantha Brick. All in all, bitch please.
We can all agree that what she’s doing is pretty damn horrible. And we can all agree that she is ugly on the inside for engaging in this behavior.
However, can someone tell me why are we calling her physically unattractive?
She’s overweight, sure, but other than being a bit higher on the BMI scale she looks fine to me. Nice smile. Friendly face. I absolutely hate it when ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ are used synonymously. It is all too common for women, when encountering some behavior they don’t approve of in a member of the same gender, to immediately attack the person’s looks. We scream ‘She’s ugly! She’s gross! She’s FAT!’ as if these were her greatest crimes, the biggest insult she could have possibly given the world. She sleeps with married men? HOW DARE SHE BE UGLY? WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS, HAVING THE AUDACITY TO STEAL OUR MEN WHEN SHE ISN’T EVEN ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH TO DESERVE THEM?!
As someone else pointed out above, she is the least offensive piece of this puzzle. She’s not the one paying to be on a website to break her vows with her spouse. It’s the cheating men who deserve our anger and scorn. If anything, I pity her. I can’t imagine valuing myself so little that I would settle for being number two* in a man’s heart, to feel as if I didn’t deserve to be loved and cherished exclusively.
*Number two just as it pertains to one’s partner, of course. I understand that when a couple have kids, love and priorities are shared more broadly.
Yeah I struggle to understand the comments also. I would never ever date a married man or a man who is in a relationship, period. However, why are we all shitting on her? The men that cheat are the bigger problem and a larger problem is what in the marriage is causing/leading to infidelity. Not a fan of this woman but I think we should put down the collective torch and pitchfork.
Couldn’t agree more. I actually hate posts like this because invariably it comes back to the woman’s looks & women blaming other women for men’s frailties. Some of these comments are just gross.
If someone calls, for example, happy, talented, nice and all around cool chick Kelly Clarkson overweight, I am going to roll my eyes and assume they’re really unhappy in their own skin… hence the hate.
If a woman brags about doing something cruel, disgusting, and essentially evil to other women repeatedly, I am going to assume that they hate themselves. Deeply. And if there is photographic evidence that they are clinically obese… pretty much backs up that theory.
That’s why her weight is relevant. In this situation.
So there are certain situations where it is okay to be fat and other situations where it absolutely cannot be tolerated?
I am poking at you but I do get what you are saying. However, there is an undercurrent to all these comments that implies that her behavior would somehow be more acceptable if she was slender and gorgeous. Maybe not acceptable but understandable? Allowed? I don’t know.
I just don’t think her attractiveness is relevant to the discussion. I’d rather focus on behaviors, not the appearance.
“However, there is an undercurrent to all these comments that implies that her behavior would somehow be more acceptable if she was slender and gorgeous.”
I totally see what you’re saying too. Yeah, we should focus on the behavior. My biggest point is that this sort of behavior demonstrates a woman who truly hates herself, and is punishing other women for her unhappiness. So, yeah – the outside serves as physical evidence of something she probably hates about herself.
But if she were attractive and fit, I would still think this as well. She would just probably have more things to hate about the inside than the outside.
There is this old joke… it’s cruel, but relevant to the situation. “Why is a moped like a fat girl?” “Riding it is fun until your friends find out.” She has placed herself in a situation where she is a man’s dirty, shameful secret. Instead of confronting this and seeking therapy, she has decided to make it a point of pride. My point is, ultimately, that she hates herself.
OK, tried to explain myself here. Hope I didn’t sound too callous. Again, ripping on someone’s weight for the sake of ripping on their weight is low. But *sometimes,* the outside can tell you a little bit about what’s going on upstairs. That make sense?
(Sorry for the late reply, I had a few meetings)
I don’t think you sound callous and, as someone who spent more than a decade demonstrating my self-hatred via an eating disorder, I certainly understand how the outside can reflect the feelings inside.
It is possible that she’s simply a woman who has gotten older, whose metabolism has changed and she just doesn’t get to the gym as much as she should. That will happen to most of us, the nice people as well as the bad. If that is the case, the march of time across her looks really isn’t relevant to her actions and shouldn’t be a source for scorn.
However, it is just as possible that her weight -is- a reflection of her emotional issues. From my personal perspective, the source of most eating disorders I have encountered is abuse/neglect, a sense of self-loathing and the belief that one isn’t good enough. If that is the case with her, by tearing down her looks and calling her an ugly, fat whore, we are just perpetuating the negative self-image that led her to her behavior. Someone like that doesn’t believe they deserve happiness and perhaps that warrants some measure of compassion.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying her behavior should get a pass. It’s not like we should be patting her on the back for sleeping around with married men. But let’s take appearance out of it; it just muddies the issue.
“I have not approved any of the rehashed crap that has followed. People will still think what they want, and judge, but I just prefer the facts out there rather than scandal with no substance.”
Shenanigans, lady. I’m calling it. You’re loving the “rehashed crap,” because you’ve obviously set a Google Alerts for yourself, which is how you got to this site in the first place.
You’re loving this. But be advised that your karma is in the toilet. More importantly, your pathological, deeply rooted self-loathing is showing. Screwing over other women won’t make you any prettier, thinner, or happier. You’re perpetually stuck being you, which I’d bet is a lot worse than any blogosphere hate you’re receiving.
This makes me feel really bad for ever hatin’ on Samantha Brick. Yeah, she was a big bag of mixed nuts sprinkled with crazy dust, but she didn’t hurt anyone!
Honestly, she’s kinda got a point. She’s not going out there looking to convince some nice, decent husband into cheating on his wife. The men are just as culpable as she is, if not more so. Good lord, I can’t tell you how many times my girlfriends have railed on “the other woman” when their men have strayed and I always try to point out (as delicately as possible) that their anger is misplaced. The men are the ones being dishonest to their wives. And yes, if this Karen woman was truly a girl’s girl she would never dream of entering into another woman’s territory.
But she’s obviously not a good member of the sisterhood and is extremely selfish. I get what she’s saying about not wanting to “re-train” a man, but you can’t tell me that there aren’t “well-trained” divorcees out there. So is she just too lazy to put in the time to grow and change with someone? Or are their other, egotistical needs that are being met, other than the obvious ones? Does she feel more desirable because she has the attention and time the wife isn’t getting, and therefore feels superior?
I don’t know if this woman is purposefully a troll or not, but I’m kind of glad this article came up. I think it’s something worth discussing. I don’t think it’s as black and white as some people see it. I’ve seen this article on other sites and everyone attacks her, but not many seem pissed at the husbands. Is it because she’s the face of the article and the “men” collectively are an abstraction, or because women are supposed to be the chaste ones and it’s easier to forgive men for messing around?
Well, hang on. She doesn’t say who she’s dating. She could be dating a troll under the bridge for all we know, not some hot piece of ass. And hot or not, the man is complicit in this. The only difference is that she’s gone public.
There’s already a movie about this kind of thing, with Gerard Depardieu in it married to Carole Bouquet (Bond, Chanel). The wife is too perfect so they look for a homely alternative. You can tell this woman’s only other options are single ruffians who lick their plates so she’s from a stratum of society with limited options. She’d probably marry one of her lovers, the reality is they wouldn’t want to see her lick her plate either in a restaurant.
Well said!
All in all, she is causing hurt and negative energy to satisfy her selfishness, shallowness, and self-esteem issues.
I really don’t think the whole “they were already going to cheat” argument excuses this woman’s moral bankruptcy. Say that a friend of yours was going to rob a bank and was looking for a getaway driver, so you took the job. But it’s not really wrong, because they were going to rob that bank anyway, regardless of whether or not you drove for them. Will the police buy that? Nope. Sorry pal, you’re still going to jail because you’re still culpable for your actions. She may not be as reprehensible as the unfaithful men she’s bedding, but she is NOT a good person and she’s still doing something disgusting and immoral that ends up hurting many innocent women. I have as little respect for this person as she seems to have for herself. Just gross, on every level. Shame on her.
And yes, I am being judgmental. Judgment — now in Rachel flavor!
I met a guy,a while ago. He was cute and very nice. On our second date, he told he was married. I was angry for not seeing it. He had his own place, and he didn’t wear a wedding ring. I asked him why he was cheating on his wife and he said “All men cheat, it’s a man thing.” He was unapologetic about it and seemed proud to do it. He also confessed to cheating with hookers. I walked away and whenever I see him, I cringe and he STILL hits on me anyway. The last time I saw him, he told me he had a ‘girlfriend.’ Still married, but the ‘girlfriend’ is living in the apartment with him. Disgusting.
Yuck! What a sleezeball! And he thought you would keep on dating him after that? Frrrr-eak show.
Eeeewwwwww!!!!
Ewwwww! I hate dating.
Do people think that all men who frequent that site are good looking and successful? She’s probably a catch for the paunchy, balding, unattractive, dead end job, middle-aged men that contact her.
This woman has to have something wrong with her head. Sounds psyco. She finds it cruel when she is called out because she can hide behind the women her boyfriends cheated on. Yet its not cruel to cheat with their husbands.
CB I think you are getting played by her nice lady act. She knows how to play the feelings of other people, watch out.
So these men “pay” to go to your website to meet you. Sorry honey, that doesn’t make you a mistress, that makes you a prostitute.
I’m not sure it’s her own website is it? But I totally agree with your sentiment. She’s basically ho’ing herself out and she seems to embrace your typical hooker/escort mindset. A ho is a ho is a ho, regardless of HOW you spin it.
No single man would have her!
This woman participates in destroying families. She is equally to blame as the men cheating because she knows what she’s doing and is participating in it. My father cheated on my mother while I was a child. My mother knew something was wrong, women just have that intuition. Even though I was just a kid, I knew something was up, too…the nights she slept on the couch waiting for him to come home, the phone calls, etc. My message to this woman: If you don’t think sleeping with a married man isn’t hurting anyone, no matter how much you lie to yourself about it, you’re an idiot. Not only are you hurting the wife, but you’re hurting the children, too. My parents worked it out because my mother refused to have her family destroyed, and as a result they have been married almost fifty years. The damage has been done and can never be erased. Cheating breaks hearts, destroys families, and changes lives… even those of the innocent kids who are damaged as a result.
Do not mean to pick at past scabs… Yet… You do not seem to call your father the bigger shit that he was for hurting so much his child.
Shouldn’t irresponsible parenting, be much more berated upon rather before irresponsible sexual behavior, between adults nonetheless?
Isn’t your father much, much more responsible for his child’s happiness and well being, than an absolute stranger?
As the daughter of a pig, I totally agree. I don’t have any opinion at all of the women who cheated with my father. I know what a liar he is. I bet they didn’t know until it was too late and if they did being with him was karma enough – because he did it to them too.
I can’t stand my father. The women are not important because they are interchangeable.
It’s the cheater’s responsibility to not hit on other people and to say no if other people hit on them.
Don’t get me wrong ZenB, I also blame the other woman. But…
I think after a while, you grow up, and have to look at things differently.
I understand when we’re young, we don’t blame our parents that we very much love, and need even to protect from hurt. I can honestly imagine “L”‘s mother talking about the viciousness of the other woman, and how she (intentionally) broke their family… But you grow-up and look at things differently.
When do you start realizing that your parent is the a-hole, responsible for those years of pain and misery, and stop blaming a complete stranger with no designated responsibility to your happiness and well-being whatsoever?
My father cheated on my mother too. He once brought me to a girlfriend’s home and had me sit in the living room while he took her to the bedroom (all of 5 feet away) to have sex with her. I was 7, at the time, and knew exactly what was going on. He later picked up a waitress who blackmailed him for years. He took out a personal loan to pay her the hush money. My mom, who is still with him, gives him the money to make the payments. The son of the mistress also got in on the action when he became old enough, and began to milk my dad for money. So much so, that I told my mom she should demand a paternity test. She did, and the kid isn’t his. After 25 years of putting up with my father’s bullshit, my mom finally demanded that he cut off ties with the drug addicted son of his mistress, as he was a user and a constant reminder of my father’s infidelities.
@maguita, you’re right. My father disgusts me, but my love for him trumps that disgust (and makes it easier for me to place blame on the shoulders of the other woman). My father is the one who was too busy chasing women to spend time with me, and he’s the one who crushed my mother’s spirit. However, I know enough about the other woman (who also was indicted for scamming the elderly) to know that they’re BOTH vile human beings.
@MDID – What a POS! Blows my mind how certain parents behave around their children!
I still remember every fight mine had, how do grown-ups ever believe that kids forget, or don’t see things?
This just proves that given the opportunity men will sleep with ANYTHING that has a Koochie.
The sad fact is, adultery isn’t committed by just married men. Statistics are showing that married men and women are just about equal when it comes to being cheaters. Many things contribute to the increase in women cheating but now that women are out of the home they are presented with all the same temptations as men feel just as entitled to do whatever they want regardless of who it effects.
Exactly. There’s too much holier than thou screeching going on in this thread. Life is full of the unexpected, including temptations, and people get bored with the same old, same old. I don’t judge people for the odd fling, man or woman, but there is something very nasty and calculating about these cheating websites. Personally I blame the dudes on the website, not the lady. At least she’s honest.
Wow, face like a foot. A foot that needs a pedi. Just sayin’.
Yeesh, she looks like a live action miss piggy sans the style.
Well thank God she cleared all that up! O.o
A friend of mine cheated on her husband repeatedly with her married boss whom she claimed she was in love with. She’d wanted out of her marriage for a while and I suggested counseling for her and her husband but she said he refused. She asked my advice and I reluctantly gave it. I told her to make a clean break of it if she was sure her marriage couldn’t be saved. She decided to try and save her marriage and broke it off with her boss at some point. She also confessed to the affair and she and her husband even had another kid. This kid was less than a year when she started seeing her boss again. Then she found out that her lover/boss was cheating on her with other women. She had a melt-down and actually came to see me one day, wanting ideas for revenge. At this point I had to step back and put some distance between us because I wanted nothing to do with this sh-t. Throughout all this I tried not to judge. I really did but I cannot abide deception.
There was a bunch of other shady stuff that went down too that I knew nothing about until recently, because although we’re still civil, we weren’t hanging out or speaking very much. Here I was just an observer and the whole thing still makes me sick and sad. This lady is delusional if she thinks she’s doing no harm.
Exactly: these women don’t think about the negative impact on the children involved. She is such a selfish person!!
This woman is ridiculous. She should spend some time and money on some good therapy. Does she not respect herself enough to find her own man and would rather just get used by married men? What a sad life to live. She must be an insecure and unhappy woman deep inside. I kind of feel sorry for her. However, sleeping with married men is not cool in my book.
@ Celebitchy: how do you know this emailer is legit?
The one I know – would flirt with married men because that way if they said “no” it was because they were married and if they said “yes” I am woman hear me roar.
It was all about her lack of self esteem.
This girl I know is a little (a lot) nutty overall but it came back and bit her in the ass big time.
I’m sorry, she can make up all the “reasons” she likes, the real reason is she can’t keep a man of her own. End of story.
The big reason is she can’t or believes she can’t get a man of her own.
Still I agree with CB that this is more or less an ad for the UK Ashley Madison. She’s not the only skank on that site or else it would go away.
Personally, I think she is sure she is just being a big helper to married folks, and that is kind of her. And we should treat her with the respect she deserves. So one day when her prince charming comes along and marries her, I will look them up and just grudge f*ck the hell out of her husband to repay her kindness to all the other married women she helped.
So essentially, she’s dating guys who don’t want to be seen with her in public. There’s really no need to comment on her looks, the men she “dates” are already doing that.
Either he has no social etiquette whatsoever or he’s a player, just looking for his next wrestle.
—————————————–
I thought married men were “players” looking for a “wrestle”.
I just see her as an oversexed skank. I know someone like this who ended up married to an elderly loser and more or less supporting him on not much of a paycheck.
Karen, karma is a bitch and it bites you in the ass when you least expect it.
Exactly! I’m constantly amazed at some people’s propensity to lie to themselves. Deep down they know it’s a lie but they just have to justify their actions anyway they can. Logic and common sense need not apply.
Hi Mrs. Brick, your behaviour is disgusting!
If married man are so superior as far as social skills, lovemaking etc., why doesn’t she just date divorced men? They have still been “socialized”, for lack of a better word, yet they are single, and have likely learned from mistakes they made in their failed marriage. I would expect they would put more effort into their next relationship.
This woman is nothing but a skank with no morals or self esteem.
It’s funny how a story like this brings out so many thoughts and feelings in the commenters. Some of you are so kind-hearted and try, at least in part, to understand her perspective, many of you not so much. I’m in the not so much category myself. I see this woman as a sad – bordering on pathetic – example of raging low self-esteem and self-loathing. She clearly has a lot of anger towards men, hence the endless string of married guys, and I believe she gets off knowing she has something on the wives. And don’t kid yourself, she may not be making money directly off the site but I guarantee she’s making something off the guys. The one in Geneva? He flies down four times a year because it’s a legit romance? Right. Big and Blonde here is definitely making a little gravy on the side.
I have never understood cheating. I’ve had a married man go after me and all I felt was disgust. There wasn’t even any children involved. It didn’t matter. I just felt like throwing up at the idea. So sad that she feels the need to live that kind of life.
This lady has warm friendly eyes, and like Samantha Brick, is taking a note from the Paris Hilton book of famewhorism only upped a notch – afterall they are stealing attention from the Kardashians.
You must be blindingly desperate to sleep with this woman.
My father spent his lifetime cheating on his partners and here is what I learned. It is up to you what u decide to do with a cheating spouse but know this. The other woman (unless she’s a “friend or a relative) is unimportant. It is up to the man to remain faithful because he’s the one who is married to you. The scariest thing u can rell a man who cheats is that u don’t care about the woman u want to know what he plans to do. It’s painful but it gets to the root of the problem. Men choose to cheat and lie and usually pick the woman long before the woman is aware-don’t be fooled it’s planned and deliberate.
As for women who only date married men, they usually have their own pathology around relationships if they don’t believe they deserve/or can sustain a relationship of their own. Sad but true
Men who aren’t happy in steady relationships or marriages can cheat. So can the women. If it’s not with this particular lady, it will be with someone else. I don’t have an opinion either way with the subject of the article. It does seem like an ad for the “dating” website though….
I’m still trying to wrap my head around why so many are focusing on this woman’s looks and how in it compares with their own in regards to their husbands cheating rather than the fact of their husbands infidelity.
Women can be such horribly vain, shallow creatures that they would base a fraction of their understanding (or lack their of) of their husband’s cheating on how pretty she finds the other woman to be.
I honestly can’t wrap my head around it.
I don’t think she’s ugly, in fact, in looking at the picture without knowing the content of the story, I’d say she looks rather lovely.
I agree with you partially, she is by no means ugly on the outside at all she looks like a lovely woman… however she is bragging about banging other peoples spouses and IMHO makes her pretty damn ugly on the inside. And my mother always said ‘pretty is as pretty does’ and trolling for married men certainly doesn’t reflect well on her character, or the cheating jerks she hooks up with; so even if she looked like Halle Berry on the outside it doesn’t make up for the hurtful behaviour, and that to me makes her Fugly in a big way.
LeAnn Rimes in 20 years.
I’m not going to blame this woman for anything, she’s not kidnapping men, she’s happy being single and is not trying to take anyone’s husband away from them. It’s really the men who are at fault to cheating, I don’t think there is any way to get around fixing the blame on the men. They are choosing to betray their wives and families, she’s not betraying anyone. When a man cheats, he’s destroyed the trust in his relationship, he’s done this and no one else is to blame. It’s the men who should be vilified, not this woman. She’s just going out with men who are making themselves available to her, men who made a choice to cheat. I think the anger should be directed not at this woman but them men who hurt and betray their mates. I believe it’s irresponsible to blame her, and not the men. That makes zero sense.
Agreed!
Why would you want to be in touch with a woman like that?
Seriously?
Horrific.
Sorry, I don’t believe her. Unless the married dude’s wife is 450 pounds, I don’t see why a man would cheat with an obese woman who looks like Shrek. I honestly don’t believe shes been with a man, let alone a married man, she is simply desperate and thinks by pretending she is so desirable she can get a root that way.
if this is what this woman must do to raise her self esteem and put an actual value on her life and its purpose then…good for her.
like i mentioned in my Rihanna posting, NPD its NOT but when someone tries so DAMN hard to justify their abnormal/socially frowned upon behavior, it’s because their trying to outshine, upstage their wounds.
deep, way deep down inside i’m positive there is a gaping wound there of 1-not being pyshically attractive enough (well, in our society’s standards of hot n’ sexy) and the list goes on..
i always thought that if you wanted to cheat with someone, why not just let go of the partner your with? never understood it, if you want to be with someone, then be with them! but let go of the other…i myself could never multitask like that!!!
i’ve never been married, but my last boyfriend cheated on me, and I picked up the scent immediately, I didn’t jump on it but gathered all the evidence and then boom…i caught ya’ you lied, bye bye….
i don’t want to say that all wives should be able to detect a cheating husband but…actually no i retract that..
forget my point!!!
Honestly, my ex cheated on me with TONS of girls in the 5 years we were together, and I feel sorrier for them than I do myself. I know one in particular (who he had a one night stand with before he met me) hated my guts and trash talked me to him constantly, but I can’t blame her. He snowed me for 5 years, why would I expect any better of her? He was charismatic and could make you believe the craziest lies…I’m sure he told her and the others all sorts of horror stories about me, the mean old girlfriend that NEVER gave him sex (truth:he was too busy boning other girls to get it up for me), and I know he dangled leaving me for her in front of her as a way to get her to perform better for him. So how can I be anything but sad for her and the others?
Women that directly go after married/attached men, though, are bitches. There’s being manipulated by an attached guy, and then there’s saying ‘He’s attached. I want that.’
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