Lindsay Lohan will probably have a cracked-out cameo in ‘Scary Movie 5’

Lindsay Lohan might have gotten a new gig. Maybe. According to Page Six, Lindsay is going to quietly (ha) film her softcore p0rn The Canyons, and then she might film a cameo in the latest installment of the Scary Movie franchise. I hope she gets cast as a ghoulish crackhead. I hope Anna Faris refuses to work with her… oh, wait. Anna Faris isn’t even IN this mess. It’s going to star… Ashley Tisdale. So… that makes sense.

The “Scary Movie” franchise is getting even scarier by angling to add accident-prone star Lindsay Lohan to the mix. Pictures in the series have previously featured appearances by pop-culture types Carmen Electra, Lil Jon, Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, Charlie Sheen and Shannon Elizabeth.

Sources say Lohan met with Bob Weinstein about possibly joining the cast of “Scary Movie 5,” opposite “High School Musical” star Ashley Tisdale, last week. David Zucker, who wrote the classic, off-the-wall comedies “Airplane!” and “Top Secret,” is co-writing the latest installment of the hit comedy franchise that spoofs horror films and is stocked with pop- culture gags.

The movie’s scheduled for release next April 19. Anna Faris starred in the first four “Scary” releases, the most recent of which made $90.7 million in 2006. Lohan has been making a comeback of sorts after being let off formal probation in March, starring in Lifetime’s “Liz & Dick” and “American Psycho” author Bret Easton Ellis’ “The Canyons.”

But she hasn’t totally left off-camera drama behind. She recently crashed an $80,000 sports car and was treated by paramedics for that dreaded celebrity disease, exhaustion. A Dimension rep said Lohan is not confirmed to be in the film.

[From Page Six]

Believe it or not, I don’t hate this. I think THIS is where Lindsay Lohan’s career should be and where it really is – doing cameos in budget horror-spoof films. I was one of the people offended that Lifetime cast the Cracken in the Elizabeth Taylor bio-pic – I don’t care if it was ONLY for Lifetime and that was budget enough for the likes of a crackie. You just don’t cast Lindsay as Liz Taylor EVER, for any project. But a Scary Movie? Sure. Go wild.

By the way, this was a minor story last week and I ignored it because… I mean, why do I need to give Lindsay’s p0rn costar added attention? But her costar James Deen came out and publicly and said, “I can definitely, honestly say Lindsay Lohan and I are not having sex! I think I would tell everybody. I don’t know anything about her except for that she’s a really nice, down-to-earth, normal girl. We went to a business dinner and she was very professional. She drank coffee and water.” I’m sure she sipped “water” from her water bottle that she brings everywhere. Anyway, I guess it’s notable because not even a p0rn star wants to be publicly associated with The Cracken. Obviously.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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51 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan will probably have a cracked-out cameo in ‘Scary Movie 5’”

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  1. RocketMerry says:

    Oh dear, we’ll never see the end of the crack smirk of entitlement, will we?

    *sips thoughtfully on her cracktiny, thinking about the crackpuccino and crackscottis she should not be thinking about*

  2. SmokeyBlues says:

    Lindsay Lohan you are starting to amaze me with your ability to keep on truckin! Crazy how she keeps getting work!

    • OriginalTiffany says:

      Speaking of trucking…my new Blohan gravatar is awesome, no?
      I followed that van to get the shot, my daughter laughing at me all the way, while I am yelling wait, I have to have it as my gravatar!

      I deserve a Cracktini!!!

      • OriginalTiffany says:

        didn’t work, argh! Must go fix. Please work! I now have my horse nose for Leann and this van which should be the cracken’s new ride, you know for warning the public.

      • OriginalTiffany says:

        Third time, the charm?
        No damn it. I give up. There but must go blow it up.
        Oh Blohan, you make me laugh so much!

        How on earth do they insure her? How does she get work? You know, besides the kneepads.

      • Mich says:

        OMG! I LOVE this and SO admire you for your perseverance!!

      • RocketMerry says:

        Yep, here’s a cracktini to you, OTiff. No more crackscotti but I think I can make one more crackuccino if you want 🙂

        Seriously, snapping a quick pic of the Lohan?! That could have burned your cornea, you brave woman! Cheers 😀

      • Izzy says:

        Pour me a drink, would you OTiff? Thank you. It’s what friends are for, yes?

        *she snorts with laughter at the line above about thoughtfully sipping cracktini while thinking about crackscotti*

      • sarahtonin says:

        Hey Tiff, I’m glad you changed your avatar and I do really like it. You are very open here about who you are and with your pic on here as well, I was concerned you’d start getting unwanted attention from our recent house guests. Protect yourself sweetie, they’ve already stolen too much from your place. 😉

  3. dorothy says:

    Scary movie? Wow, that’s a Oscar winner! She must proud. First Lifetime movie, now a low grade C movie. Life is good for the Lohan.

  4. Macey says:

    I think its funny (and telling) that every story has to mention what she was drinking. I dont think any other celeb goes to that length to push the “not drinking’ story even tho everyone knows water is her code name for vodka.

  5. Snowpea says:

    That first photo kills me every time!

    And, gosh, shoot me, but I LUUUUUUUURVE those polka dot heels! Anyone know where they are from?

  6. really says:

    You know you’ve made it into the skank hall of a fame when a porn star is embarrassed that people think you had sex with him.

    • dorothy says:

      Yeah, thought the same thing! LMAO

      • Aussie girl says:

        Yes even a porn star claims his not tapping that fire crack crutch! I hope this cameo doesn’t wear her out & she ends up “exhausted” again over this role! Oh & her lips just look super stupid!

  7. lisa2 says:

    I have tried to be neutral with Lindsey. But that picture of her looks bad. I always like her with the auburn/red hair. hated the blond. And wanted her to go back to it. But dang this looks bad. I can’t even. the eyebrows are so dark they make her look menacing like a evil character in a novel.

    I don’t know she looks like someone that has been around the block too many time. I feel sad.. really sad.

  8. Dahlia Verlaine says:

    How did that Scary Movie shiz even made it to a fifth flick?! Not my sense of homor. At all!

  9. brin says:

    What a cracken comeback! *eyeroll*

  10. RHONYC says:

    she sure does look like puffy ‘elder-years’ Liz in pic 1. *yikes* 🙁

  11. Zombie Nurse says:

    I am willing to bet that, in addition to the brows she is supporting, her earrings and that rather clunky cocktail ring are also from the Liz and Dick set.

  12. logan says:

    Well she is scary. Next she will be given a bit as a walker on The Walking Dead. PERFECT. No script to study, very little makeup and best of all no lines. Just stagger and grunt. Role of a life time!!!!!!

    • Veruca says:

      Her appearance alone makes any film a ‘Scary Movie’.

      How does one look at that face and say, “Yes, Lindsay. You look beautiful.”?

      Ugh. Such a waste.

    • Bodhi says:

      I’m going to be super pissed if she shows up WD!

  13. mia girl says:

    At this point, any movie with Lidnsey in it IS a scary movie.

  14. Tanguerita says:

    oh well, she keeps talking about getting at least one Oscar before she hits thirty… that might be her chance. oh wait, isn’t she fifty yet?

  15. Cleveland Girl says:

    This stupid crackhead needs to take a shower, wipe all that lipstick off of her face, go on a detox diet and get a normal haircut.

  16. hillbilly in the corner says:

    Part of her deal with the devil behind the curtain….she gets to act like shes a actress instead of a courtesan (for those who don’t read romance novels that means a “keep woman” a “bought and payed for whore” a “payed for sex slave.”….) so she will get herself another one not by talent, or looks , or work ethics and record but by “Platinum Mastercard”…..LOL

  17. novaraen says:

    Stop taking pictures of this waste of space…you can see how it goes to her head. She just relishes how we all want to take her picture and see her. What she doesn’t know is that we all want to see her only to see how many more bloated chins she has….or to see if she’s fallen down AGAIN or driven her car into something AGAIN.

  18. Ruby Red Lips says:

    “she’s a really nice, down-to-earth, normal girl.”

    Well with that statement we know she’s def blowing him! 😉

    I don’t think she should even get cameo roles in sub standard movies – she does not deserve to be rewarded in any shape way or form for her behaviour

    And these photos, jaysus, even the fillers and plastic surgery ops can’t hold her face together anymore – as I’ve said b4 imagine the state of her internal organs if her external self is falling apart with help!

  19. dahlia noir says:

    I can’t understand how she is still working.

  20. Nicole says:

    She is really starting to look like Faces of Meth. I’m sad for her.

  21. Hautie says:

    Oh, holy crap. She looks like an old hooker. From 1975.

    That my friends is the face of a 26 year old!

    Who has done too much of everything.

    If you ever need to understand what smoking and drinking will do to your skin. Here you go.

    Take a good look at your future.

    This is what happens when you smoke like a chimney and drink like a fish.

    You look like an old hooker from 1975.

    Geez, lets face it. Her Mother looks younger than Lohan now.

  22. RuddyZooKeeper says:

    How about LL takes a page out of Megan Fox’s book and posts photos of her 12-year-old self–maybe to satisfy one of her parole requirements. Megan’s made me sort of sad, but LL’s would be more like a public service announcement. Just what our young people need today.

  23. Boo says:

    I happen to love those pictures from that party on the 4th with James Deen. She’s all dolled up with the “fabulous” coat, heels, designer bag, lookin’ like she’s got the world dicked (if you will), and everyone else at the party looks like they just skateboarded in from an alley full of broken glass and dreams. Welcome home, Lindsay! You’re overdressed!

  24. Thea says:

    Well since Lifetime likes to miscast and loves challenges, Lindsay already has the eyebrows why not let her do the Groucho Marx story. I mean hell, that would get her a Globe maybe.

  25. blah says:

    I find this troubling. Lindsay is far too delusional to think such a movie isn’t beneath her. Either she’s truly desperate for money or she waking up to reality. This is just inconsistent with her behavior. Maybe shes just drinking and popping adderall and perkies, which is basically sober for her. She’s gonna be in big trouble if (trying to be nice here!) she relapses, and she must be furious to have to take a role in this.
    something’s up though.
    Now, what is this guy smoking and where can i get some?

  26. Izzy says:

    Sooooo… she’s gonna play Bimbo Victim #1? At least she won’t be playing against type.

  27. the original bellaluna says:

    OTiff, I can see it says “Crack X” but what else does it say? (That must have been quite a scene, BTW.)

    As far as Blohan, I’d like to think that WD has more class than to hire her. But talk about an awesome way to cut down on the FX/make-up budget! 😀

    side-note: I can now just BARELY make out the mountains around us, due to the smoke.

  28. Lucky Charm says:

    Why are her boobs hanging down to her waist? And wth happened to her face?! Maybe she needs to contact Tom Cruise and spend some time at sea org to straighten herself out…But those two are both so crazy & narcissistic I can only imagine what a conversation between them would be like, lol!

  29. sarahtonin says:

    What’s with her left eye? She’s gone wonky like Parasite Hilton.

  30. Britt says:

    James Deen has had sex with over 2000 women, if I remember rightly from reading his blog. And I believe him, if he says they didn’t have sex, then they didn’t, because he tells it like it is.

    She needs time out, serious time away before she becomes the next victim of accidental death or something due to her irresponsible behaviour. She will either kill herself or someone else, especially given her love of driving into stationary objects.

  31. sunmoonstars says:

    Welp, good to know this Scary Movie will be as unfunny as all the others. Seriously, I saw some of them (unfortunately) and I didn’t laugh once. I guess this is where D list losers and their careers go to die.

    Oh and about her face….I wish I had seen this 15 years ago, I would have NEVER touched any drug and I definitely would have never smoked. I’m going to show this to my daughter when she gets older…best anti-drug ad EVER!