Tom Cruise wants to make Russell Brand a CO$ Narconon spokesman

Tom Cruise

As we’ve already noted (with much hilarity), Scientology is in huge trouble from a public relations standpoint after fallout from the TomKat divorce. Now cult leader David Miscavige is rallying his celebs to help out with a new PR strategy that’s sure to fail, but that won’t stop former golden boy Tom Cruise from hitting up the old recruitment tactics as well. His new target? Russell “Shag-a-Million” Brand, whom Tom first enjoyed contact with while they filmed their mutual box-office flop, Rock of Ages.

Tom apparently believes that recovering (drug, alcohol, and sex) addict Russell would not only make a great CO$ recruit but also a gloriously effective spokesperson for Narconon, the CO$-affiliated drug rehab program that aims to detox drug addicts through a ridiculous regimen of vitamins and saunas. Never mind that Narconon’s flagship center has just experienced its third patient death in a matter of six months, and never mind that Russell has very low tolerance for religious extremes (as in Katy Perry’s parents) in any shape or form. Tom still thinks Russell would be a great fit and is said to be putting on the moves to get him indoctrinated at the Celebrity Centre. Russell probably has had a good laugh about it and declined to take any of Tom’s calls in the future. Here’s the story:

Russell Brand

Tom Cruise is hoping to introduce comic Russell Brand to Scientology.

Newly separated Cruise is keen to recruit his Rock Of Ages co-star to be a spokesman for Scientology rehab project Narconon.

“Tom thinks Russell’s battle with alcohol and drug addiction is a way to reach out to the vulnerable,” says an LA spy.

Cruise also introduced Brand to Hollywood studio boss Sumner Redstone, who asked Russell to compere an event to help addicts.

[From Daily Mail]

First off, Russell would never fall for any religion that treats celebrities like gods because he himself has said, “Who cares about bloody celebrities?” Secondly, Russell is a terribly intelligent man who has articulately argued for compassion towards addicts in front of Parliament. Russell believes that addiction is an illness that finds its roots in “emotional difficulties [and] psychological difficulties,” and Scientology doesn’t jibe with the ideas of “illness” or “psychological difficulties” as concrete subjects that require treatment from a physician or, for that matter, anything other than auditing. Further, we’ve already seen that Russell has very little patience for bullsh-t, which is evidenced by the fact that he cut his marriage to Katy Perry short after merely fourteen months. In other words, Tom is wasting his energy here.

Here’s Russell out and about in Beverly Hills with his new girlfriend, Isabella Brewster (sister of Jordana) on 7/21. Yes, he’s putting her in a headlock, and yes, she’s biting his arm in response. How romantic.

Russell Brand

Russell Brand

Russell Brand

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News and Fame/Flynet

 

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104 Responses to “Tom Cruise wants to make Russell Brand a CO$ Narconon spokesman”

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  1. Lady_Luck says:

    Katy Perry must be gloating over these photos, now that Russell Brand has downgraded to a fat nobody who will likely be replaced by yet another brunette in a matter of weeks.

  2. MK yarwood says:

    Are you calling this poor, short girl fat? But for a diet of vodka and coke, Katy would look quite similar to this. Brand clearly likes well-rounded brunettes that are short. She’s just not wearing those horse hooves women call shoes these days.

  3. paola says:

    I think Russel Brand is too outspoken to be a part of Co$. they should really brainwash him with bleach to get him on their side.

  4. samira677 says:

    I don’t believe this story because if Tom was trying to convert Russell he would have done it a year ago during filming.

    I don’t understand why this relationship is getting so much hype considering he’s had other girlfriends.

  5. moopsie says:

    she doesn’t look skinny or fat. She looks short with an athletic body. I wonder what her eyes look like.

  6. Launicaangelina says:

    I don’t buy it at all. Bedhead was dead on when listing the reasons, but especially the fact that Russell believes addiction is physiological and psycological.

  7. Jacq says:

    Even the quote says they like ‘em vulnerable. That gives me a chill.
    “Hey, Russell, it’s Tom!”
    “Wif all due respect, I -” click… Dial tone… Changes number… If you hang up in the middle of your own sentence, the other person will just think you got disconnected.

  8. Micki says:

    I like him in skinny jeans more than Jenifer’s hipster.

  9. Dana M says:

    Y’all she is not fat, just short and desperately needs a good haircut.

  10. DanaG says:

    Is it bad that all can think about is how great this is going to be in Russells stand up gigs? Tom doesn’t have a hope of turning Russ into a robot. Not to forget to mention Russell didn’t get his help through CofS so how could he be a spokesman for their treatments. Which after a few deaths in 6 months mustn’t be too good. Russ may take those phone calls from Tom just to get more tidbit’s and funnylines for his show. As for the girl pointless talking about her she won’t be around that long. Russ looks like he has gone back to his old days.

  11. Julie says:

    Brand would make a good Cult Leader though. it would be the best life for him, countless women offering themselves for sex and he can talk about his nonsense all day with lots of people worshiping every word he utters.

  12. Holl says:

    is Russel Brand even relevant these days? every movie he is in bombs and he’s not even funny.

  13. Anna says:

    If I remember accurately, in his first autobiography he states that he’s an atheist and he seemed very wary of any form of organised religion, although quite a few years have passed since then and he’s obviously found some kind of spirituality.
    I do so hope that he doesn’t fall for Co$. I do think he’s much smarter than that, but still…

    • IamAcylon says:

      @Gia
      Because Americans are obsessed with Brits.
      I am so tired of it. Okay, I like McAvoy, Sewell etc. but enough is enough. It killed Game of Thrones for me. Everytime I hear them talking I think about the douchebags in my area. I am also tired of American remakes of British shows e.g. Skins, Shameless etc.

    • Anne de Vries says:

      Yeah, agreed. He seems too smart and critical, but the Co$ recruitment methods are smart too – they have – many times! – gotten people to speak for one of their organisations without even knowing it’s scientology. And if it suits them (ie, Brand being an atheist) they are happy to tone down the religious spiel for the self help aspect.

      And Brand does seem the sort of seeker/full force/addictive personality they typically recruit.

      I know it’s more comforting for people here to see the cult as stupid and ‘nobody would ever fall for that’ but the fact is that they are smart, insideous and persistent and it takes more than intelligence to stay out of their hands once they have their eyes on you.

  14. Genevieve says:

    OK, I’m ducking as I type this, ’cause I just KNOW it will bring boos, hisses and objects hurled at me head…but I DO agree with Lady_luck. Ms. Brewster is definitely one of those “fat-bottomed girls” of song-writing lore.

    *Dodges flying objects*

    That being said, I would like to go on record with a hearty “HA!!” at Russell Brand being recruited by Tommygirl. My experience with Brits (and I have half of my Mother’s family across the pond) is that their tolerance for this type of rubbish is low, low, LOW. Plus, Russell is already a celebrity, and doesn’t need to be celebrated or fawned over any more than he already is.

    And the absolute WORST reason of all? Russell Brand is kind of a loose canon. I think his opinion and probable derision of CO$ is the very LAST thing they need now. For God’s sweet sake, can’t they target a celeb who’s a bit more malleable? Russell is way too much his own person for such cult rubbish, and WAYYY too smart.

    Although, if they proceed, it will be hysterical to watch. Just think this move will backfire in so many ways, IMHO. :)

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      On Stern’s show, Brand indicated that he was into the Hare Krishna thing.

      • Genevieve says:

        REALLY? This, I did not know.

        Hmmm…perhaps he’s more susceptible to the cult mentality than I thought.

        I’ll just HATE it if I’m wrong about him…thought he had the intelligence to run away FAST from CO$. If Tom recruits him, I’ll be positively ill. :(

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Yeah, he’s very into meditation and spirituality. I don’t think he’d get pulled in by CO$ though. He strikes me as a sharp guy, a bit “hippy-dippy” at times, but really really clever. On Stern’s show, Howard really put his feet to the fire with his marriage to Katie Perry, including playing verses of her songs about him and analyzing line by line. I give Russell so much credit for taking the high road the entire interview. Not once did he say anything bad about KP.

        Anyway, I think he’ll stay strong against COS influences…

    • stinky says:

      co-sign w/ Genevieve. New chick is one donut away …

  15. Zvonk says:

    Narconon? Sounds like a word a third rate science fiction writer might pull out of their arse. Oh, hold on…

  16. Cathy says:

    Run Russell run. Get as far away from Tom and his cronies as you can.

  17. TheOriginalKitten says:

    I really like Russell Brand. I heard him on Stern’s show on Saturday and he dispelled the wheelchair p0rn rumors BTW. He’s a really funny, smart guy and he’s a free-thinker–he’s not going to do this.

    Also, my ex-bf was an Oxy addict and he went to Narcanon (Arrowhead). It worked for him-he’s been in recovery for 6 years and counting and hasn’t touched a substance since. I really have no idea why his family chose Narcanon because none of them are Scientologists and he certainly isn’t-he’s an atheist. He was never “converted” although he said that they made several attempts afterwards to do so. I haven’t talked to him in a few months but I’d be curious to know what he thinks about all this. He also told me about a lot of the (mental) “exercises” they did in rehab-they sounded….strange. And one last thing-Narconon cost his family a fortune. If I recall correctly, they ended up spending between 20 and 30 grand for the treatment.
    I can’t even imagine how much the CO$ religion makes from this.

    • olcranky says:

      until recently, most people were blissfully unaware narconon was a CO$ entity – they just saw it as the drug version of AA

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        I believe it-that would make much more sense then that his family chose Narconon. I think it was more for the location (Oklahoma)-it’s really far from Boston (where we’re from) and just to get him away from all the bad influences. I remember when he told me afterwards that it was CO$-related I was REALLY surprised.
        When he was “sent away” the hardest part was not being able to talk to him AT ALL for a couple months. At the time, I thought that was just standard practice for all rehab programs, but in hindight that’s probably part of the CO$ practice of “cutting people off” from friends/family.

      • Chris: now with 10% less negativity says:

        They must be confusing narcanon with narcotics anonymous. What is it about drug addiction that makes so many people think the solution is to get involved with some sort of religious cult?

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Well, they didn’t succeed on converting him, but he’s very very strongly anti-religion (or anti-cult) so he’s not really susceptible to stuff like that.

        I think CO$ preys upon the “lost soul” and targets the weak. As I said, the program actually worked really well for him but he said it utilized “certain fundamentals” of Scio-it wasn’t like they were forcing propaganda down his throat (maybe because they knew he wouldn’t succumb?). I guess it’s not any different than AA in that sense. Isn’t AA religion-based?

        I’d love to pick his brain about it now and find out more. I know he said they did weird exercises where they would partner up and stare into that partner’s eyes for literally 20 minutes straight, without looking away or saying anything. And yes-TONS of sauna stuff. He said the saunas were so uncomfortable but that it was part of the “detox” aspect of the program.

      • stinky says:

        @ Ol Cranky: thats totally what i thought until just NOW… i was wondering that the whole time i was reading, and then your comment came along! dang …… it’s been around a long time!

      • gg says:

        People have confused it with NA (Narcotics Anonymous, a NONPROFIT rehab program).

        Narconon is FOR PROFIT. A huge profit for co$. Like absolutely everything they do.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        In other words-they’re deliberately obtuse about the COS connection. If you look at the home page of Narconon Arrowhead there is no mention of COS whatsoever. I tried to post link but can’t get past the filter. Anyway, not trying to increase traffic to anything COS-related, but it’s interesting how they mislead people by making it seem unaffiliated.

        As we are discussing, my ex had no idea that it was COS-related until he got there. They probably design it that way in hopes of attracting people and then converting them once they’ve already enrolled.

      • olcranky says:

        “They probably design it that way in hopes of attracting people and then converting them once they’ve already enrolled.”

        DINGDINGDING we have a winner in theoriginalkitten’s comment I think they intentionally want people, including referring physicians and social workers, to think it’s narcotics anonymous

      • Anne de Vries says:

        @ TOK – yep, that eye staring stuff is a basic Co$ course. Did they make him tell an ashtray to move, as well?

        I’m glad he’s clean now, but that’s nothing to credit Narconon with – he did that himself. Narconon has a considerably lower success rate than mainstream rehab facilities with things like actual medical personnel and scientific methods.

        Glad he stayed out of their clutches, too. It is a double whammy for Co$ – people worried about their addicted family member are easy to squeeze for money, and addicts make for easy recruits.

  18. Intercontinental says:

    That’ll be the follow up go Get Him to the Greeks then…ha…we cant wait…how hilarious!! Do they have furry walls at CoS???

  19. lucy2 says:

    Yeah, I bet Scientology thinks addiction is just because the person is weak and full of aliens. And it will only cost their life savings to cure it!

    I find Russell fairly repulsive, I can’t really look at him and his voice is awful. He doesn’t seem like a bad guy though, and if COS is setting their sights on him, I wish him luck avoiding them.

    Speaking of Jordana Brewster, has anyone seen her on that new Dallas show? She looks like a skeleton, and it’s really messed with her face. She was very pretty too, it’s a shame.

    • Roma says:

      I can’t stop staring at her face during Dallas; her eyes seem so abnormal now. I don’t know what she’s done to herself but she’s not as beautiful as she used to be and it almost looks painful for her to talk.

    • olcranky says:

      @Lucy2 – they actually think all illness, not just mental health issues & addiction, is because the person is weak, has too many engrams or body thetans and that people “should trust in the tech” to cure them. Anyone who seeks medical treatment is chastised to the point women with breast cancer do not get it treated either because if they were better $cilons they could beat it on their own

      • Tiffin says:

        A very high percentage of female $cientologists seem to fall victim to cancer at a young age.

        But yet again, there’s one rule for the drones and another for the higher echelon.

        Tommy Davis’ wife Jessica Feshback was suffering from leukemia last year and was admitted to a hospice. Apparently she’s better now. What’s the betting she underwent proper medical treatment instead?

      • olcranky says:

        she was admitted to hospice but she’s gotten better? hospice for supposed to be for end of life care (as in you have less than 12 months, usually less than 6). If they said she was admitted to hospice but has gotten better, my guess is that they lied about it being hospice care and she was treated aggressively on the downlo so they could say the tech cured her

  20. Alecsma says:

    Her figure is quite nice but what a pronounced difference from her very lean sister.

  21. Diana says:

    Cute girl… I m one of those weirdos who finds Russell Brand damn funny.
    This story is so unoriginal. The tabs are trying to drag the celebs into the current PR toxic mire aka Scientology. Next is what? TC getting together with Demi Moore and curing her issues with the magical auditing, and they live happily in Xenu’s paradise?
    (OMX, I m turning into a tab writer)

  22. Jaded says:

    I think she looks normal and healthy, not starved. She’s not an actress so I guess she doesn’t feel the pressure to thinnify like her sister. To call her fat is utterly ridiculous and those who think she is are clearly drinking the pro-ana koolaid.

  23. Amy says:

    E-nough with fat! She’s dressed for comfort, not to show off her physical assets. She’s wearing a loose top that’s not tucked in and a skirt that hits her in a place where her waistline probably isn’t. The camera has caught her mid-stride in the second shot – not a flattering angle for anyone.

    I love him for what he wrote after Amy Winehouse’s death. And if he wants to date a real girl, good on him!

  24. Diana says:

    Poor Tom. Fag end of his career and cult at the same time.

  25. RHONYC says:

    2 things:

    - his ‘dark’ Jesus look is all about it. so dope. ;-)

    - regarding Co$, *in Jen-ny’s voice* “RUUNNN, RUS-SELL, RUUUNNN!!!”. :-o

  26. Onyx XV says:

    Run, Russell, run! Far, far away from the crazy Cruister!

    And dayum, his new girlfriend is sexy! I’d say quite the step up from homely Katy Perry.

  27. stinky says:

    “your own ….. personal …… darkjesus”

  28. Viv says:

    Would be worried if it was anyone but Russell. He’s probably going to say he’s had a chat with Xenu already and it’s all good between them but not a love affair.

  29. claire says:

    I don’t believe this. I mean, I believe they’d try to convert Russell, but he’s not dumb enough to fall for it. He’s a very intelligent guy, and having watched his Parliament testimony, it just doesn’t jive with his beliefs. And that girl is NOT fat! People just aren’t used to seeing non-anorexic girls in LA.

  30. Justaposter says:

    “Tom apparently believes that recovering (drug, alcohol, and sex) addict Russell would not only make a great CO$ recruit but also a gloriously effective spokesperson for Narconon, the CO$-affiliated drug rehab program”

    OMG best laugh of the day!!

    I haven’t a clue if Russell is clean but IMO he just doesn’t ooze clean and sober living.

  31. the original bellaluna says:

    Well, TC and CO$’s mutual MO IS to target TC’s co-stars, correct? So this should come as a surprise to approximately NO ONE. (Except may Russell himself.)

    I doubt Russell would get involved. But just to be prudent: Russell, change your number.

  32. IzzyB says:

    I don’t think they could recruit him. Scientology uses secrets to keep people in the fold.

    Russell, if anything, gives us TMI. He’s written two books about what he’s done as well.

    Don’t believe this story.

  33. Jay says:

    The only celebs familiar with rehab that I could see getting on board with endorsing a treatment involving saunas would be Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen. Though in the latter case it’d be saunas and porn stars instead of saunas and vitamins.

  34. DEB says:

    Here’s hoping he politely tells the Smarmy, Lift-Wearing Midget to shove it. Sideways so it hurts more :)

  35. skuddles says:

    Hmmm, if this is true, then looks like CO$ is anxious for Tommy to pimp them some new celeb members. Can’t imagine anyone with even half a brain considering it though…. Now why did Tara Reid and Lindsay Lohan just pop into my head??? ;)

  36. Xochitl Garcia Miranda aka Xogami says:

    Run, Rusell, run!

  37. Deb says:

    I don’t understand how anyone affiliated with CO$ would think Brand would be a good spokesperson for Narcanon. He didn’t even get clean using the program.

  38. valleymiss says:

    Rusty’s way too smart to fall for that. And, at this point I would think that Co$ needs to worry about holding on to all the celebrity defectors, not recruiting more. Their “religion” has taken a huge hit in the press, and deservedly so!

  39. Tiffin says:

    Narconon? More like NarCONon. That’s all it is – a con.

    I thought Kirstie Alley was a spokes person for Narconon? They mustn’t be too happy with her efforts if they want to recruit Russell Brand.

    I don’t think we have to worry about him. He’s pretty much in the know about what’s going on in the world.

    I’m sure he heard about Stacy Murphys death in Oklahoma. And how her friend then tried to leave the facility but was told she couldn’t. (Her mother had to call the police and they got her out)

    Village Voice has some great articles about the place.

    • skuddles says:

      You’re so right about Narconon. I read a book many years back about a young German junkie prostitute who was forced into the Narconon program. Her description of what went on was just bizarre. Treated like hostages, deprived of sleep, battered with talk, and forced to carry out a lot of meaningless repetitive activities designed to break the will of the subject (like being forced to touch the door knob over and over and over, for hours). To my understanding they basically tried to reprogram the subjects, except that those who were able to escape the facility went straight back to their former habits. And I also believe her Mother tried to get her out but ran into all sorts of roadblocks. It didn’t sound like the program actually worked for anyone. Just a lot of freaky, crazy crap, so typical of CO$.

      Incidentally, this girl finally got straight when she was sent to live with family in the country. Far away from the drugs and the scene she was able to find herself again. No thanks to Narconon.

  40. dizzy says:

    “Narconon, the CO$-affiliated drug rehab program that aims to detox drug addicts through a ridiculous regimen of vitamins and saunas.”

    What?..Seriously? Does the CO$ think vitamins “fixes” everything? I remember when Tom said that Brooke Shields should have taken vitamins to deal with her postpartum depression. He’s an idiot.

  41. erika says:

    oh wow, he looks like the star of the 1970s Broadway smash ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ by Andrew Lloyd Weber!

    “Jesus Christ, Superstar, Do you think you’re what they say you are?”

    I’m sorry…I just offended Tom Cruise’s evolution beliefs….”

    Xenu! LR! Do you all think Tom’s the craziest Movie Star!”